Some famous words of wisdom

March 27, 2010 at 1:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Worth repeating in case you missed some of them

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
–Mariah Carey

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed you’ve lost a very important part of your life”
— Brooke Shields during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body”
–Winston Bennett University of Kentucky basketball forward.

“Outside of the killings Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country”
–Mayor Marion Barry Washington DC .

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass and I’m just the one to do it”
–A congressional candidate in Texas .

“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
–Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it..”
–Al Gore Vice President at the time

“I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ”
— Dan Quayle

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
–Lee Iacocca

“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
–Joe Theisman NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”
— Colonel Gerald Wellman ROTC Instructor.

“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
–Department of Social Services Greenville South Carolina

“Traditionally most of Australia ‘s imports come from overseas.”
–Keppel Enderbery legislator (Australia is an island albeit a big one)

“If somebody has a bad heart they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning when they wake up dead there’ll be a record.”
–Mark S. Fowler FCC Chairman

THE NEWS

The old propaganda lives on: “Almost three-quarters of Russians believe the United States is an “aggressor” nation hell-bent on world domination a poll suggests. The survey by the independent Levada Center polling agency found that 73 percent of respondents agreed that the US was “an aggressor trying to take control” of all countries in the world. Only 8 per cent agreed that the US was “a defender of peace democracy and order” while 19 per cent said they were undecided. The poll’s margin of error was 3.4 per cent. The poll’s findings came despite efforts by US President Barack Obama to “reset” relations with Russia”

Cat killed by car ‘comes back to life’ nine months after owner buries him: “They say cats have nine lives – but no one seriously expects them to come back from the dead. Yet that is what Alfie the ginger tom appeared to have done nine months after apparently being killed by a car. Owner Angelo Petrillo buried what he believed to be his pet’s battered body after a friend spotted it on the side of a road near his home. Soon afterwards Mr Petrillo 39 and his wife Katy moved house along with their other cat Freddie also a ginger tom. But a few days ago they received a phone call from their former neighbour. ‘They said a ginger cat had been trying to get into our old home going up to the front and back doors and they thought it was ours’ said Mr Petrillo who works for an energy company. The next day however the neighbours said the cat had remained outside all night meowing pitifully. Mrs Petrillo 35 a manager for a wine company returned to the couple’s old home a mile away – and immediately recognised the cat as Alfie. The three-year-old had lost the collar he used to wear and had put on weight suggesting someone else had been looking after him while he was being mistakenly mourned.”

World’s cleverest man (above) turns down $1million prize after solving one of mathematics’ greatest puzzles: “A Russian awarded $1million (£666000) for solving one of the most intractable problems in mathematics said yesterday that he does not want the money. Said to be the world’s cleverest man Dr Grigory Perelman 44 lives as a recluse in a bare cockroach-infested flat in St Petersburg. He said through the closed door: ‘I have all I want.’ The prize was given by the U.S. Clay Mathematics Institute for solving the Poincare Conjecture which baffled mathematicians for a century. Dr Perelman posted his solution on the internet. He failed to turn up to receive his prestigious Fields Medal from the International Mathematical Union in Madrid four years ago. At the time he stated: ‘I’m not interested in money or fame. I don’t want to be on display like an animal in a zoo. ‘I’m not a hero of mathematics. I’m not even that successful that is why I don’t want to have everybody looking at me.’ It was in 2003 that Perelman then a researcher at the Steklov Institute of Mathematics in St. Petersburg began posting papers online suggesting he had solved the Poincare Conjecture one of seven major mathematical puzzles for which the Clay Institute is offering $1 million each. Rigorous tests proved he was correct. The topological conundrum essentially states that any three-dimensional space without holes in it is equivalent to a stretched sphere. The puzzle was more than 100 years old when Perelman solved it”

Tiny muntjac deer are branded a threat to Britain’s wildlife: “Don’t let its seductive doe eyes fool you. Or its glossy russet coat and Bambi looks. No the muntjac is a wolf in deer’s clothing – and it’s taking over Britain. In fact so great is the threat posed by this innocent-looking creature that Wildlife minister Huw Irranca-Davies has included the muntjac on a most-wanted list. The Asian muntjac has been named Britain’s most dangerous and destructive deer. They devour native woodland plants at a terrifying rate destroy vital bird habitats and can go berserk if unleashed on a suburban garden. They also breed like rabbits. But are they really all bad? The muntjac is certainly one of the strangest deer not just in Britain but on Earth. It is also one of the most ancient and may have been on the menu of primeval predators 35million years ago. Diminutive furtive and canny it is also one of the least studied. Originating in South-East Asia it first set hoof in Britain as a legal immigrant in 1900. Their size is an advantage. Standing just 20in tall they are expert at hiding away in brambles rushes and long grass. This has enabled them to evade the hunter’s bullet – and even live on our doorsteps without us noticing.”

Row over Tiger Woods blow-up doll: “Lawyers for Tiger Woods are reportedly trying to halt the sale of a series of sex toys which exploit the golfer’s personal problems. The toys include a ‘Take Home Blow-up Tiger Love Doll’ and are for sale on the website of Pipedream Products. … The US gossip website TMZ.com has managed to obtain a copy of a lawyer’s letter to Pipedream. It is demanding that the company stops selling the products, recalls all items that have already been distributed and destroys all stock.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.