Wicked Thoughts

SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW:

‘WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE BRITISH SOLDIER!’

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in
CAMPBELTOWN, SCOTLAND.

You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.

However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty.

After all, it is ONLY A SIGN.

You may say ‘What kind of business would dare to post such a sign?’

Answer:

A FUNERAL PARLOUR.

(WHO SAID SCOTTISH UNDERTAKERS HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR?)

YOU GOTTA LOVE IT!!!

= God Bless Scotland=

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

A Chinese man frustrated at being single cut off his own penis: “Yang’s friends said that he had been increasingly depressed about the fact that since moving to the city he could not find a girlfriend. What was worse, they said, was that he was doing such long hours in a clothing factory in Jiaxing, in Zhejiang province in east China, that he doubted he would ever have a chance to meet a woman. His depression grew so bad that after returning home after work at 9pm on October 27 to his rented room he had suddenly decided to cut off his member as there was no use for it anyway, and believing it would stop him thinking about getting a girlfriend. Incredibly he managed to cycle to the hospital, then cycled home again to collect the severed member and then back to the hospital. His friends criticised doctors saying that had they provided the man with an ambulance he might have managed to get home quicker and his private parts could have been saved.

Man sends letters with home-made stamps featuring his own face (and nobody noticed for three years): “An architect has been sending letters for free using DIY stamps featuring his own face. Angus McDonagh, 64, claims he has duped Royal Mail with over a hundred of his bizarre designs on letters which have been posted all over the world. Many have his own face where the Queen’s traditional side profile would sit – complete with a comic eye patch or curious hat. At Christmas he created some of himself with a white Santa beard while others have used family photos. Mr McDonagh, an architect who describes himself an ‘anarchist philatelist’, began his personal freepost system three years ago in protest at bland stamp design. He objected to what he felt was a decline in the design and detail of official Royal Mail stamps and the demise of posted letters because of email. ‘I just kept going and it has become more and more farcical. It’s gone undetected for so long now it is just silly.’ Mr McDonagh has created 50 individual stamp designs, printed them on his home computer and stuck them to envelopes with glue.”

Google Earth shows phallic-looking church in Dixon, USA: “A CHRISTIAN Science society in the US has exposed itself to ridicule by building a church that looks suspiciously like a penis. The church, which is appropriately located in a city called Dixon, looks innocent enough at ground level. But fire up Google Maps and the terrible, unholy truth becomes clear. Today the church responded to these unwelcome Revelations, assuring the world there would be a “giant fig leaf coming soon” on its Facebook page.
Sadly, the unfortunate slogan “Rising Up” is also plastered across that page.”

Phone lost at the bottom of a lake for three months is found by owner – and it still works: “A man who found a phone in a lake was amazed to discover it still worked – despite spending a quarter of a year submerged. Roger Nilsson contacted the Facebook page of Nokia Sweden to tell them about how he found his Lumia 800 – lost three months ago – wedged between two rocks in the lake. Intrigued, he took the phone, which was encrusted with mud, shells and other waste, back to his home and cleaned it up, took it apart and left it to dry on his radiator. When he reassembled it he was stunned to discover it was able to make calls and even the camera still worked. The battery too had lost none of its potency, lasting two days from a full charge. What makes the discovery even more incredible is the phone is not designed to be any more water resistant than any other smartphone on the market. Even phones marketed as water-resistant are only rated to survive under water for a maximum of 30 minutes, let alone more than three months. Nokia has a legacy of making durable handsets, from the old 3315 to the new Lumia range.”

British hardware store reported man to police after selling him three pairs of bolt cutters: “A builder who bought bolt cutters from a DIY store was shocked when staff reported him to the police for acting suspiciously. Billy Fitzearle, 30, paid for three pairs of the tools for his work as a landscape gardener before police were alerted and went to search his home and van. Staff at the Range store in Gosport, Hampshire, feared he may have been responsible for the series of bike thefts in the area. When Mr Fitzearle, who lives with his mother, gave a ‘valid explanation’ no further action was taken by Hampshire Police officers. But this was after his home, company van and personal van had been searched.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Bachelor pad?

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Raider threatened grandmother with a meat cleaver… before she snatched it and chased him from shop: “A grandmother has described the dramatic moment she fought off two masked robbers armed with a meat cleaver before chasing them out the shop with their own knife. The men ran into the garage and threatened terrified shop worker Trude Mian, 65, with the six inch blade and another knife. One of the robbers grabbed Mrs Mian’s wrist and held her at knife point as they forced her to hand over £50 from the till, a court heard. But when they demanded to see the safe, plucky Mrs Mian told them they would have to get past her first before getting their hands on any more money. The footage show Mrs Mian, wife of garage owner Khaliq, pressing an alarm button before picking up a knife left on counter as the robbers raid the till. The final shots on the CCTV show her fighting back and chasing off the two men at knifepoint.

Polish village where housewives paint every home in flowers: “For the townsfolk of Zalipie, every day is a celebration since the isolated outpost blossomed into one of Poland’s most iconic villages. What was once a bleak and forgotten cluster of smoke-blackened huts, has over the years transformed into a kaleidoscopic feast of colour – and one of southern Poland’s best-kept treasures. Each house is decorated with its own vibrant floral motif, painstakingly hand-painted by the town’s housewives. The practice dates back to when the smoke from stoves seeped outdoors through tiny holes in the walls scarring the homes with sooty black blotches. The women tried to cover the marks up by whitewashing over them but many were still faintly visible through the paint. So to make their homes completely immaculate for religious festivals, the women hid the spots behind these intricate flower designs”

Man claims he converted life savings into gold and threw it out: “THERE are bitter divorce stories and then there are the ones made of pure gold, literally. An angry husband reportedly turned his entire life savings into gold bars and threw them out just so he could avoid paying his wife any money in their divorce settlement. American Earl Ray Jones claims he converted $500,000 into gold bars and threw them in the bin behind a Colorado Springs hotel. Jones told his lawyer he raided the couple’s entire retirement and savings accounts and purchased 10kg worth of gold, the Colorado Springs Gazette reported. The 52-year-old first claimed at a June divorce hearing that he literally threw their money away when a magistrate ordered he pay his estranged wife $3000 a month. In a sworn deposition in July, he said he threw the mix of coins and gold bars into bins behind a hotel after bank tellers wouldn’t let him withdraw the money in cash. However there is no trace of the gold being dumped, though records show he did purchase precious metals with his savings.”

To gap or not to gap: “PLUS-SIZED model Robyn Lawley has found herself at the centre of the thigh gap debate, which calls for legs so thin that they do not touch above the knees. The 24-year-old Australian was angry after an image of her [above] appeared on a pro-thigh gap Facebook page and generated a negative and hurtful response. “I was called too “hefty” to be featured. The word “PIG” was often used to describe my appearance and my thigh gap was said to be not big enough,” she wrote in The Daily Beast . “The truth is I couldn’t care less about needing a supposed ‘thigh gap.’ It’s just another tool of manipulation that other people are trying to use to keep me from loving my body. Why would I want to starve and weaken my natural body size? “I’m not saying women who have it naturally are unattractive. But I would have to change my entire frame just to achieve something that seems so trivial,” she wrote.”

1,900 years old Roman sculpture found: “Hidden since the Romans ruled Britain, this extraordinary sculpture was perfectly preserved for 1,900 years beneath a busy street. The carvings on the 26in high eagle are so crisp that when archaeologists unearthed it last month they feared it was a much later copy rather than an original Roman relic. But experts at the Museum of London Archaeology confirmed that the sculpture from a high-ranking official’s tomb dates from the 1st or 2nd century AD, and is one of only two statues of its type in the world. The other was found in Jordan in 1937. The sculpture features an eagle grasping a writhing serpent in its beak and is thought to symbolise the struggle of good against evil. It came out of the ground ‘covered in soil and unrecognisable’ in September in the last few hours of an excavation that had lasted several months”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Food?

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Debit card a bit too crunchy: “A Dallas man who was convicted Friday of fraudulently collecting other people’s tax refunds tried to eat a debit card in order to conceal evidence. Ogiesoba City Osula made a trip to meet some cohorts in Ohio in 2011. That’s when police caught him with $300,000 in cash and money order and stolen debit cards in his car. While waiting in a police car to be questioned by authorities, the U.S. attorney’s office has revealed that Osula tried to gobble up the incriminating evidence. According to the Dallas Morning News, Osula was found guilty on 16 counts last week after a nearly weeklong trial. More specifically, a jury found Osula guilty on one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud, mail fraud, and bank fraud. Along with his four co-defendants, Osula managed to bilk the government out of millions.”

Giant beach ball bounces round London during St Jude’s Day storm: “Central London is not only being battered by a once-in-a-decade storm. It’s also being menaced by a giant, rampaging beach ball. Fierce winds associated with the St Jude’s Day storm dislodged a 10-metre wide beach ball from its rooftop perch above the Old Street roundabout in east London on Monday, creating an improbable obstacle for commuters just before the morning peak. Bystanders captured images of the rogue beach ball bouncing around the busy roundabout, as cars and buses attempted to dodge it. The inflatable ball is believed to have broken free about 6am on Monday, and bounced around for about an hour before it was trapped by an Islington council officer and deflated. The beach ball had been tethered to the building in the middle of the roundabout, near Old Street Tube station, since April as a publicity stunt by the company Derwent London, which is redeveloping the site to build an energy-efficient office block.”

Why humans are so freaked by snakes: “We’re not born with a fear of snakes, but it seems to develop early. Now scientists may be closer to a explaining why ophidiophobia ranks among the top fears of humans, and seems to be shared with other primates. Researchers inserted probes into the brains of Japanese macacques and found that neurons in a part of their brain that controls visual attention were more strongly and quickly activated in response to images of snakes, versus other objects. The results, published online on Monday in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, appear to support a theory that early primates developed advanced perception as an evolutionary response to being prey, not as an adaptation that may have made foraging or hunting easier. Though fear of snakes may not be innate, noticing them more than other phenomena may be hard-wired by evolution, said Lynne Isbell, an evolutionary biologist”

Artist lives in an egg: “This giant floating egg on the River Beaulieu could well be Hampshire’s quirkiest living space. It may look like it comes straight from the set of a low-budget science fiction movie, but the giant wooden pod cost £40,000 to build and will in fact be the home and workspace of artist Stephen Turner, 58, for the next year. The 40ft self-sustaining structure, which is registered as a boat, floats up and down with the tide and is designed to have minimal environmental impact. Stephen hopes to highlight climate change while living there. Each half of the egg is made of two wooden skins with a membrane in between to make it watertight. It is wider at rear allowing room for two storage cupboards either side, and a very simple bathroom. Both presenter and architect George Clarke and boat builder Paul Baker were astonished at how spacious the egg feels once you’re inside”

New toothbrush shaped like a mouthguard cleans your teeth in just six seconds: “A new type of toothbrush which is shaped like a mouthguard has been developed by manufacturers in the U.S., who claim it will fully clean teeth in a mere six seconds. The device is lined with 400 bristles that clean the surface of and in between the teeth. The bristles are the same as those on a toothbrush but are attached to the mouthguard at a 45-degree angle. To use it, you bite down and release 10-15 times – allowing the teeth to move up and down against the fixed bristles, cleaning them and particularly the space underneath the gumline. The new gadget – called the Blizzident – is moulded from plastic, and made from an impression of the patient’s own teeth. It is popped into the mouth along with a blob of toothpaste.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Go for grammar

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

British Keystone Kops raid toy factory: “Police may be forced to go back on claims they found the UK’s first ever 3D printed firearm factory. But hours later GMP released a second statement about the raid in which Assistant Chief Constable Steve Heywood said: ‘We need to be absolutely clear that, at this stage, we cannot categorically say we have recovered the component parts for a 3D gun.’ The statement came after the shop owner whose premises were raided wept as he proclaimed his innocence, saying the machinery was used to make toys. The 38-year-old businessman was released on police bail an hour after answering questions by officers over the alleged ‘gun’ parts. He said two police vans and 30 officers swarmed over his shop and he was taken to Levenshulme police station and held for questioning at 5pm yesterday. Presented with the ‘trigger’ and ‘magazine’, he explained that one was a spool and the other another part of the printer, to which he said the officer replied: ‘Oh! OK.”

‘Psychic’ bus driver who refused to pick up children because he sensed ‘something bad would happen’ is fired: “A psychic bus driver has been sacked after refusing to pick up schoolchildren because he had a premonition ‘that something bad would happen’. The clairvoyant driver, who has not been named, left the children standing at the side of the road in Dundee. But the driver failed to see what was coming for his career prospects when he was hauled in front of bosses at National Express. Despite his excuse he was promptly dismissed, a move praised by Dundee Council’s education chief Stewart Hunter. He said: ‘It’s good National Express has taken action. I can’t comment on what’s happened to the driver, but it’s important for kids to be able to get to school on time. If the bus doesn’t stop then that’s something that worries me.’ But a spiritual medium has defended the man, who is to appeal the decision, claiming it was ‘entirely possible he experienced a premonition’.

An ancient Chinese urn used by its owner to store pot pourri has been sold at auction for more than £150,000: The owner, aged in his 50s, inherited the pot from a relative decades ago but, thinking it wasn’t worth very much, used it to store scented dried petals on top of a wardrobe at his home for 20 years. It was only when he was moving home and decided to sell many of his belongings that auctioneers told him the piece, believed to date back to the 18th century when China was under the rule of the Quianlong Emperor, could be worth thousands of pounds. When experts further examined the porcelain pot they discovered a beautiful hand-painted design with ornate flowers in pink, green, blue, and red was hidden under a thick layer of dust. Auctioneers put a pre-sale estimate of £1,000 to £2,000 but the 14-inch tall piece attracted huge interest from potential buyers at the sale in Sherborne, Dorset, and due to a surging market in Chinese artefacts, it sold for an astonishing £154,250.”

Granny thought she was on flight to Spain – then landed in the Caribbean: Booking mix-up sent her to Grenada instead of Granada!: “As she sipped her gin and tonic at 30,000ft, Lamenda Kingdon chatted to a fellow passenger about how much she was looking forward to visiting Spain. She was aghast when her neighbour replied: ‘Not on this plane, you won’t.’ It was then that the grandmother discovered that, rather than heading for the historic city of Granada, her flight was bound for the Caribbean island of Grenada. The sympathetic flight crew ushered Mrs Kingdon into the first-class cabin and gave her champagne. At a scheduled stop in St Lucia, she was put on a flight back to Gatwick. There, she was met by apologetic airline staff who put her in a hotel for the night and arranged for Avios, which has links to BA, to reimburse her points and fly her to Malaga, the nearest major airport to Granada, the following day.”

The Flimsy Evidence for Flossing: “While hundreds of flossing studies have been conducted, many are plagued by potential issues of researcher bias, as well as poor experimental design. In the past decade, three systematic reviews sought to navigate these muddy waters. The first, published in 2006, narrowed its focus to the effects of flossing in young children between the ages of four and thirteen. The reviewers found that children who had their teeth flossed by a professional hygienist five days per week for 1.7 years had a 40% decreased risk of cavities. However, those who were trained to floss and carried it out themselves did not enjoy any reduction. Two years later, researchers at Inholland University for Applied Sciences in Amsterdam took up this query, reviewing the effects of flossing in addition to brushing on levels of plaque and gingivitis. What did they find? “A greater part of the studies did not show a benefit for floss on plaque and clinical parameters of gingivitis,” they wrote. “Routine instruction to use floss is not supported by scientific evidence”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Two stories

Allegedly true story reported by an English guy who was stopped and asked to give a breathalyser test

The English guy lives near Le Bugue in the Dordogne and at the time he was stopped he was as pis*ed as a fart…

The gendarme signals to him to wind down the window then asks him if he has been drinking, and with a slurring speech the English guy replies; ‘Yes, this morning I was at my (hic)..daughter’s wedding, and as I don’t like church much I went to the cafe opposite and had several beers.’

‘Then during the wedding banquet I seem to remember downing three great bottles of wine; (hic)… a corbieres, a Minervois and (hic)…a Faugeres.’

‘Then to finish off during the celebrations…. and (hic) during the evening …me and my mate downed two bottles of Johnny Walker’s black label.’

Getting impatient the gendarme warns him; ‘Do you understand I’m a policeman and have stopped you for an alcohol test’?

The Englishman with a grin on his face replies; ‘Do you understand that I’m English, like my car, and that my wife is sitting in the other seat, at the steering wheel?’

..

..

Forgotten Muslims

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General.

As they talked the Iranian said, “I have just one question about what I have seen in America .” The General said, “Well, anything I can do to help.”

The Iranian whispered, “My son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is Japanese, but there are NO Muslims.

My son is very upset and doesn’t understand why there aren’t any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on Star Trek.”

The General laughed, leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador and whispered in his ear, “That’s because it takes place in the future…”

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Elderly Australians win ‘dream holiday’ to Canada and free luggage… containing drugs worth £4million: “While in Canada on a trip that had been awarded by a seemingly genuine travel company the pensioners were given new suitcases as part of their prize – unaware that the bags contained a total of 7kg of methamphetamine in rock form that had been loaded by a drug-running syndicate. After their week-long holiday the man, aged 72, and his 64-year-old wife became concerned about their new bags when they arrived back at the airport in Perth, where they live, and reported their worries to Customs officials. The bags were opened – and it was then that 3.5kg of the drugs were found in each suitcase. Police said they were due to be met on arrival, resulting in a 38-year-old Canadian man being arrested at the airport.”

Enormous pink diamond set to become the world’s most expensive jewel: “The diamond is dazzling and so is the price. This flawless 59.60-carat gem, known as the Pink Star, is expected to go for more than £40million at auction next month. That will make the huge diamond, one of the world’s rarest and with an extraordinary depth of colour, the most valuable jewel ever to be sold. Discovered in South Africa in 1999 by mining giant De Beers, the pink gem was polished and cut over two years. The oval-cut stone is more than twice the size of the Graff Pink diamond that was sold for a world record £29million in 2010. Spokesman David Bennett said: ‘It is difficult to exaggerate the rarity of vivid pink diamonds weighing only five carats, so this 59.60-carat stone is simply off the scale and passes, I believe, into the ranks of the Earth’s greatest natural treasures.’ The gem belongs to small group of diamonds – known as type 11a – that are renowned for their transparency and chemical purity.”

Lost your keys? Ask a woman: “Research suggests that females are better than males at multitasking – and particularly if those tasks include searching for lost items. In other words, they are likely to be better at finding car keys during the early morning rush, in which breakfast has to be eaten, children dressed and teeth and hair brushed. The Glasgow, Leeds and Hertfordshire university researchers said that women may be ‘superior at tasks requiring high-level cognitive control’. They pitted men against women in two experiments designed to simulate real-life situations in which people have to juggle several tasks and work out how best to switch from one to the other while still getting everything done. Examples of this include working in a busy office or cooking several dishes at once for a meal. The two sexes did similarly well on all the tasks bar the key hunt – in which the searches planned by the women were judged to be clearly superior, the journal BMC Psychology reports.

Cadillac made for Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson, set to fetch £500,000 : “A historic Cadillac built for the Duke and Duchess of Windsor is expected to sell for the princely sum of up to £500,000 after surfacing for the first time in 60 years. The jet black American car cost a staggering $16,000 (£9,900) when the former King bought it new in 1941. It was one of the first cars to have electric windows and is decked out with jewellery compartments, cigar lighters, wool carpets and walnut finish. The car was nicknamed ‘The Duchess’ and is one of the world’s most famous Cadillacs. But after the royals sold the car in 1952, it disappeared from the public only to re-emerge in 2009 when its new owner decided to fully restore it. He has now decided to sell the Cadillac, described as ‘understated and decidedly European in its elegance,’ at RM Auctions’ New York sale next month. The car is expected to sell for between £360,000 and £500,000 when it goes under the hammer in November.”

Man returns to burning house to save his beer: “A MAN’S devotion to his beer knows no bounds. Six adults and two young children were in a house in Columbus, Georgia, watching television when the room began filling with smoke. After the children were rescued and everyone made it outside safely, Walter Serpit, who walks with a cane, went back in the burning house to retrieve something he left behind. Beer. “I told them to get the kids out and everything, and me myself, being an alcoholic, I was trying to get my beer out,” Mr Serpit told Georgia’s WTVM News. “I went back into the house like a dummy and the door shut on me because this back draft was about to kill me.” Serpit managed to save several cans of beer and he escaped the home without getting burned.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Swapped roles

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Forget breadmakers – now you can buy a BEERMAKER: “Plenty of people have installed breadmakers in their kitchens to make fresh loaves, but now a company in Seattle plans on launching a compact home-brewing system so beer fans never run out of pints. Just like a breadmaker, the microwave-sized machine allows users to add a handful of fresh ingredients into it and push a button to make a keg of beer. The PicoBrew Zymatic system costs £992 and claims to brew ‘high quality all-grain beer’ in a week from three ingredients – water, grain and hops. Once the ingredients are poured into the machine, it takes three-and-a-half hours to start the beer-making process – and then the reults can be left in a keg to ferment for a week. Bill and Jim Mitchell started their company PicoBrew in 2010 out of frustration with home-brewing kits because they ‘take up too much time, are too imprecise and frankly, when you account for all of the clean-up, are not all that fun’.”

Are fish having sex keeping part of a city awake?: “Amorous fish could be responsible for a mysterious humming noise keeping people awake at night. Residents in a part of Southampton, Hamsphire, have been struggling to get to sleep because of the puzzling noise, which starts at 10pm and drones on all night. Some people have even moved away from the affected area around Hythe and are sleeping on friends’ sofas to escape the nightmare. Now scientists are studying whether the noise could be being caused by fish having sex in an estuary nearby. Midshipman male fish let out a distinctive drone to let females know they are searching for a mate. The noise can go on for hours and often increases in volume as competing males attempt to out-hum each other. Incredibly, scientists say the sound can be amplified by bouncing off buildings and ships. The noise is famous in Seattle in Washington, USA, as midshipman fish are believed to live in the nearby Duwamish waterway.”

Hawaii surfer, 25, fights off 12-foot tiger shark by punching it in the eye: “A 25-year-old Hawaii surfer has survived a dramatic attack by a 12-foot tiger shark by jumping on top of it and punching it in the eye. Jeff Horton, a former boxer, said he was surfing off Pila’a Beach near Kilaueai in Kauai on Sunday with friends when he spotted a dark shape moving toward him and his board through the water. He explained that he was looking for a wave and seated with his feet dangling from the board. ‘I look down and see what I thought was a sting ray,’ Horton told Fox News. ‘It came up on me and I jerked my foot and kicked it a couple of times. It went for the bite and missed my leg.’ Horton pulled his left leg from the water and got on the surfboard, but was knocked off when the shark clamped its teeth down on the board. ‘I rolled to the top of the shark and punched it in the mouth and got one shot in the eye,’ Horton said. But when he punched it once in the eye, it recoiled, giving him a chance to jump on his board and frantically paddle back to the shore with another surfer.”

Family adopts donkey foal: “A miniature donkey is being hand-reared by a farmer – and now follows her ‘mum’ everywhere she goes. Baby Hope, who is no bigger than a dog, was rejected by her real mother Tuppance when she was born on a farm in Carlisle a month ago. Farmer Jane Nelson whisked Hope away from her new mother after Tuppance started biting her and kicking her over. But the frightened foal survived after Ms Nelson hand-fed her goat milk in a baby’s bottle every two hours. The young donkey now thinks Jane is her mother. For a while it was touch-and-go for the rare Mediterranean donkey, but now Hope enjoys nothing more than charging at Jane’s bottom. At 25 inches tall, the miniature donkey is the same size as a Labrador and has become best friends with a Shetland pony called Dixey. There are only around 400 Mediterranean donkeys in the UK, and a female costs about £2,500. When fully grown the donkeys are no bigger than a Shetland pony.

CA: Nike Marathon complaints sent to sex line: “San Francisco residents who live near Union Square got two surprises early Sunday. First, the Nike Marathon, which had a start time of 6:30 a.m. to minimize traffic congestion, started broadcasting amplified announcements and music at 5:30 a.m. Neighbors, some in their bathrobes and slippers, came out either to express their dismay at the early-hour noise, or called the city’s 311 line to complain. Many were told to call the Nike line, at (800) RUN-NIKE. When they did, however, a woman answered and suggested the caller might want to ‘unzip that fly, baby!’ That number is a phone sex line. The actual Nike complaint line is (866) RUN-NIKE.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Smart doctor

A woman went to the doctor’s office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard. “What’s the hell is the matter with you?!” the older doctor demanded.

“Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?”

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,

“Does she still have the hiccups?”

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Indian farmer gets tiny compensation payment: “AN INDIAN farmer who says his home and crops were badly damaged by severe floods this year has received government compensation of just 80 rupees ($1.35), a report said. Sonba Ganpat Bawne, from the poverty-hit Vidarbha region in the western state of Maharashtra, said he had spent 14,000 rupees ($236) repairing his home after the flooding, according to the NDTV news network. The 55-year-old said he received a cheque from the local government which was less than he had spent on refreshments for the official who surveyed the house to assess compensation a month ago. The report said that, while a 20 billion rupee ($337 million) package was set aside for those hit by July’s floods in the area, many farmers complained of receiving little or no help from the state.”

Teener finds $50,000 3.85-carat canary diamond: “DIAMONDS are said to be a girl’s best friend. In sharp-eyed teenager Tana Clymer’s case that must be true. The 14-year-old was visiting the aptly named Crater of Diamonds State Park in Murfreesboro, Arkansas, when she saw something glistening on the ground. It was a 3.850-carat canary diamond that park officials say could be worth $50,000 to $60,000. Tana had been begging her parents to visit the park after a 12-year-old boy from North Carolina found a 5.16-carat diamond in July. The park, the only diamond-producing site in the United States that is open to the public, is said to contain more than 75,000 canary diamonds, which have a distinct yellow colour. Its “finders, keepers” policy” is drawing huge crowds and almost 400 diamonds have been dug up this year. Few though are of the size and quality of the diamond Tana found, Joan Ellison, a spokeswoman for Arkansas State Parks, told NewsOK”

Female bodybuilder grows a male organ: “A FEMALE gym junkie has revealed how she now looks like a man after developing a steroid addiction which mutated her body. Candice Armstrong, who used to be a pretty blonde, has been left with stubble, broad shoulders and a one-inch penis, after using the drug in a desperate attempt to improve her shape. The former London barmaid said her nightmare began two years ago when she joined a gym to improve her physique. Ms Armstong, who suffers from body dysmorphia, revealed she would work out for three hours a day and was convinced her upper body was too slender. When a fellow gym fanatic suggested using steroids, she went for it, but soon developed an addiction to daily doses of the steroid Trenbolone. In fact the drug altered her body so much that her clitoris grew into a one-inch penis, she developed facial hair, acne and even began walking like a man.”

Another British bureaucratic bungle: “A law-abiding family man was ordered to quit his job after a criminal record check wrongly labelled him a hardened criminal with convictions stretching back a decade. David Reay was wrongly identified as being guilty of offences including burglary, theft and possession of cocaine when details of a criminal with a similar name were given to his new employers after they asked for a Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) check. The 33-year-old has now been left in limbo as he cannot return to work while he waits for the verdict of his appeal. ‘I was left in limbo despite the criminal record obviously not belonging to me as so many of the details were different. I was angry as it could have so easily been sorted out, but I was told I’d have to wait for at least three weeks before I could even chase up my appeal.’ Northumbria Police moved to resolve the identity error with Mr Reay, who now hopes to restart his training on November 2.”

Cleaners discover 280 gold ingots worth £1.17million inside plane’s toilet: “Cleaners have discovered 280 gold bars worth £1.17million inside a plane’s toilet at an airport in Bangladesh. Armed police were called on board the plane which had flown from Dubai to Hazrat Shahjalal. Cleaners stumbled across the bullion when they were cleaning the plane’s bathroom. Custom officials said they knew the bars were on board and believe the person carrying them sensed there was a police presence and abandoned the gold in the toilet of the aircraft before fleeing the scene. In the last eight months, more than 100 hauls of gold weighing around 300kg and other precious items have been seized at the airport.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Worst First Dates

1. Let’s just say it ended when he said “not as firm as I’d expected,” in reference to my ass.

2. She confessed to liking Limp Bizkit. And Spin Doctors.

3. The bus (yes, BUS) ride home was sadly shortened as my date decided he needed to stop the bus, get off… and pee – on the freeway.

4. Really fancied a girl at school. We’d become friends, so plucked up the courage to ask if she wanted to come over to chill. She said yes. My twin brother was at home too. We sat down to watch a film then brother got up to go for a cigarette. Girl went too so I paused the film. Couple of mins later, I popped out to see where they were and found them snogging. I never told her I ‘liked’ her like that.

5. The cab ride home cost an extra $70 – thanks to my date’s vomitous ways.

6. My date decided to reveal she was, in fact, 16 – and not 18 as previously stated upon meeting a few nights earlier.

7. Upon meeting my blind date, he looked me up and down, laughed, and then proceeded to tell me he wasn’t feeling well.

8. I once went on a drinks date with a guy that was going swimmingly – nice venue choice, good looks, many mutual interests – until his long-term ex suddenly made an oddly not unwelcome appearance. The ex proceeded to stay for a drink and then began to interrogate me. When I suggested to my date that it might be nice to move on to another venue, he looked appalled and explained that it would be rude to his ex to leave. You can’t make this stuff up.

9. So a friend suggested that I meet a friend of hers as we were destined to hit if off – apparently. She arranged a casual dinner at her place and then disappeared for an hour to bath her baby and leave the two of us together. Anyway, all she did for the entire hour of baby bathing was talk about herself and how great she was. That baby must have been the cleanest in the world. Awkward!

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Talk about yourself a lot? You’re probably INSECURE: “People who use the word ‘I’ a lot are often thought to be self-centred and narcissistic but new research suggests this simply isn’t true. U.S. researchers have claimed that people who frequently use the pronoun are actually less self-assured than those who do not. They found that people who often use ‘I’ in conversation tend to think they are inferior to the person they are speaking to. The research, from the University of Texas, showed that people also use the word if they are feeling insecure or if they are in either physical or emotional pain, The Wall Street Journal reports. ‘There is a misconception that people who are confident, have power, have high-status tend to use “I” more than people who are low status,’ Dr Pennebaker, told The Wall Street Journal. ‘That is completely wrong. The high-status person is looking out at the world and the low-status person is looking at himself.’”

Turkey opens its first online sex shop for Muslims that even offers advice on how to have ‘halal’ sex: “A Turkish entrepreneur has opened the country’s first online sex shop for Muslims, selling everything from lubricants to herbal aphrodisiacs and offering advice on how to have ‘halal’ sex. Haluk Murat Demirel, 38, said he had been inspired to launch the site by friends who wanted sex advice and products, but found the content on other websites and in specialist stores too explicit. ‘Online sex shops usually have pornographic pictures, which makes Muslims uncomfortable. Mr Demirel said the website – which offers advice on which sexual practices are banned by Islam and which are not – had proved unexpectedly popular since launching last Tuesday, with 33,000 visitors on Sunday alone. Turkey is a majority Muslim but constitutionally secular country.”

Insects aren’t gay, they’re just enthusiastic! Scientists discover same-sex mating in bugs is down to a rush to reproduce: “Despite the vast majority of male insects regularly taking part in homosexual activities, such as courting and mating, scientists claim it isn’t because they are gay – instead they may just be confused during the throes of reproduction. In the rush to reproduce, researchers from Tel Aviv University claim insects don’t have time to check the sex of a mate so are homosexual ‘by accident’. The study found there are no clear benefits for certain species of insects to have same-sex relationships and concluded they may be duped into thinking another is a female, either because of how similar they look or by scents they have picked up. ‘Insects and spiders mate quick and dirty,’ claimed Dr Scharf. ‘The cost of taking the time to identify the gender of mates or the cost of hesitation appears to be greater than the cost of making some mistakes.'”

Burglar is arrested after knocking himself out following 10ft fall through a ceiling into a liquor shop: “Steven Moylan was found on the floor of the Bargain Booze, in Birkenhead, by staff after the alarm was set off in the store. The 35-year-old was trapped behind the glass-fronted cashier area after he fell when the ceiling above the store collapsed. He was arrested by police who brought him round, but claimed to have no memory of how he ended up there. The store’s deputy manager Kathryn Birks said: ‘I came out for the call and couldn’t see anything at first. I went in and turned off the alarm and then noticed the ceiling hanging down. ‘I thought it must’ve collapsed under its own weight. Then I noticed what looked like a pile of clothes, then thought “hang on, there’s a head!” ‘He was lying there covered in rubble up against the glass. I dashed back outside, locked the door and called police. I’ve never seen anything like it.'”

Money really DOES grow on trees: Scientists in Australia find traces of gold in eucalyptus leaves: “Money really does grow on trees – at least in Australia. Scientists have found gold in the leaves of eucalyptus trees. The particles are much too small to be seen with the naked eye but have been detected using a type of x-ray that is especially good at picking up trace amounts of metals and minerals. However, gold hunters shouldn’t start felling gum trees in the hope of becoming rich. Study leader Mel Lintern told the Brisbane Times: ‘If you had 500 eucalyptus trees growing over a gold deposit, they would only have enough gold in there to make a wedding ring.’ The real value of the study is that nature’s own version of gold leaf could provide mine companies with an inexpensive and environmentally friendly indicator of where to drill test sites. The study by the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation in Western Australia showed levels of the precious metal were highest in trees growing directly over gold seams, one of which was 115 feet down.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Some parenting experiences

“My son pulled my trousers down in the bank this morning while trying to climb up my leg. Stupid maternity jeans.” – Emma

“My worse moment was on a train. The train carriage was totally silent until my son said very loudly and clearly, ‘Mummy don’t throw me on the train tracks again.’ Every head turned to look at what kind of horror of a mother this poor little child must have. I died a million deaths.” – Jo

“Sitting down in a shopping centre, my son (who would have been about two) decided to tickle the bum of the guy behind us. He did have a bit of crack on show, but I have no idea what possessed him. The guy took it surprisingly well, but I was so embarrassed.” – Alicia

“At a VERY crowded park the other day, my son was on the swing and I was pushing him. He yelled out, ‘MUMMY I JUST FARTED AWAY LIKE YOU TOLD ME TO, am I good boy for farting on the swing and not on your lap?!'” – Erin

“My daughter, sitting in the trolley while we do the shopping, shrieking at the top of her (extremely loud and high pitched) voice: ‘MUM, stop, you forgot your NAPPIES Mum, don’t forget your NAPPIES, you NEED your NAPPIES’. My youngest daughter had done a similar thing when she was younger, but without the adamant screeching.” – Fiona

“I took my son, who was five at the time, into the ladies toilets at the movies so I could go to the toilet. There were quite a few people in there. Anyway, they had obviously just cleaned the bathrooms as it smelt of bleach. At the TOP of his voice my son says, ‘Ugh, yuck mum. It STINKS in here. It stinks like vagina!” – Gen

“Public toilet. My daughter has a wee. I have my turn. The conversation goes something like, ‘What are you doing? Are you doing a wee? Are you doing a poo? You’re doing a poo, aren’t you Mummy? I’m just going to wash my hands.’ My arms aren’t long enough to reach the door from the toilet seat, where I am, um, busy, and she opens it wide and just walks out.” – Sascha

“My son was about 2.5 years old and we were at a playground. This woman and her older son were at the park, and we got chatting. About five minutes into our chat, my son started wandering around yelling out the f-word. He had never, ever said it before, but he just started swearing like a sailor, I was torn between feeling mortified and giggling like a little girl.” – Sarah

“My seven-year-old has special needs, so he has a speech delay. His favourite new toy at the time was Fireman Sam’s fire engine, Venus. Except that due to his speech delay, he calls him Benus. This particular week was his turn to bring home the class toy, Giggles. We were to take photos of Giggles participating in family life and report back to the class. Of course Giggles had a great time playing fire engines with my son. However, when he marched into the classroom the next morning and loudly declared, ‘Giggles was playing with my Benus!’ I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.” – Julia

“Two lovely forty-something ladies joined us in the spa on holidays once. They were very chatty and receptive to the banter of our four-year-old who was of course able to prove there and then she can indeed talk underwater. After a certain time, the ladies decided to depart. The first lady hopped out and as the second turned and began climbing out the spring revealing a ‘shapely’ rear end in a bathing suit, Miss Three loudly declared, ‘Phwoah! Look at that lady’s big fat bottom!’ I started some high pitched ramble about how she says it to me “all the time” (what?!) and that I’m very sorry for the offence caused while hysterically trying to explain to Miss A why we don’t comment on other people’s appearance and insisting she apologise.” – Luciana

“When my son was in prep, they had to draw a picture of their dad and write a little about what their dad does or likes. We ran a landscaping company so my son draws a great picture of his dad, and in big letters and stuck to the entrance to the classroom is the description that ‘My dad sells grass and drinks rum!’ We were only new to the area and no one knew what we did for work. It took a while to make friends.” – Nita

More here

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

‘British Gas fired me while I was lying in a hospital bed’: “Recovering in hospital from a heart operation, Nigel Winkley assumed the visit from two of his bosses was to bring him good wishes. Instead, the pair delivered a PowerPoint presentation that ended with bombshell news…he was sacked. The extraordinary scene took place in front of fellow patients who, like Mr Winkley, were in their pyjamas. The 40-year-old was too distressed to respond and it was left to his wife Vicky, 34, to order the suited pair off the premises. Just five days earlier the father of one underwent major surgery after a heart attack. Mrs Winkley, who owns a pre-school, said the presentation had left her and her husband in shock. ‘What sort of idiots flounce into a hospital to deliver that sort of news to someone who’s has just had heart surgery?’ she added.”

‘Model pupil’ bank robber (from Zimbabwe) jailed in Britain: “A 15-year-old ‘model pupil’ who robbed a bank was locked up for 40 months today after being shopped to police by his own mother. The schoolboy, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, brandished an imitation firearm as he burst into the Barclays bank in Liverpool, Merseyside. The boy walked into the bank with his hood pulled up tight, and said: ‘Don’t do anything stupid. I just got out of prison after five years. I’m not ****ing messing around.’ He fled with more than £2,000. As the cashiers filled a bag with money they added a ‘dummy bundle’ which is designed to detonate and spray dye over the cash when it leaves the building, Liverpool Crown Court heard. His mother found a stash of cash stained with dye and a fake firearm in his bedroom and turned him over to police. ‘She (his mother) had raised him to understand if he did something wrong there would be consequences and though she loved her son it was the right thing to do,’ she said.”

Can you think yourself to orgasm? Yes, yes, YES says sex coach: “A sex coach and author has claimed that she can reach orgasm merely with her breath, and she’s helping other women achieve this, too. Barbara Carrellas, 59, from New York, says that through her sessions, women turn themselves on ‘in a molecular sense’ by lying on the floor, doing a breathing exercise and clenching their muscles. According to Salon.com writer Tracy Clark-Flory, who tried out the therapy with Ms Carrellas, she did indeed have a ‘deeply in-body experience’, as the sex coach called it, though she was left somewhat skeptical about whether it was caused by sexual arousal or hyperventilation.”

Groom who made bomb threat to stop bride finding out he had failed to book wedding venue is jailed for a year: “A groom who made a hoax call pretending explosives were hidden at his wedding venue just days after the Boston bombings has been sentenced to a year in prison. Neil McArdle sparked the bomb scare because he did not want to tell his bride-to-be that he had failed to finalise their wedding plans. The 36-year-old, who has been jailed for 12 months, has been criticised by a Judge who told him that his call ‘struck terror’ into venue staff, who would have had the explosions in Boston at the forefront of their minds. Panic-stricken McArdle had telephoned St George’s Hall in Liverpool and told how explosives had been planted in the building to hide his blunder with the booking because he could not face telling his fiancée.”

British wine ‘connoisseurs’ have been duped into spending up to £7,000 a bottle for fake French wine for years: “British wine connoisseurs have been buying fake bottles of vintage French wine costing up to £7,000 a bottle, it emerged today. The gigantic fraud not only sheds light on the vast trade in counterfeit luxury produce, but highlights how little some self-styled ‘experts’ really know about wine. It was exposed thanks to a Europe-wide investigation by specialist officers working for six different police forces. They found that a so far unnamed Italian father and son were producing counterfeit bottles of Romanee-Conti, a Burgundy Pinot Noire. High end wines are sold to a variety of customers, but experts have noted that many buy them as prestige items, without really knowing much about them. There have been reported incidents of Russian oligarch parties at which vintage wine is served with cans of Coke, for example.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Waiter extraordinaire

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Dick Cheney reveals he feared terrorists would kill him by hacking his pacemaker: “Former Vice-President Dick Cheney has revealed he once feared that terrorists could use the electrical device that had been implanted near his heart to kill him. and had his doctor disable its wireless function. He was reminded of his concerns while watching the popular TV series Homeland, where a senator was killed by a terrorist who tampered with his pacemaker. The former Vice-President, who had a heart transplant last year when he was 71, said doctors replaced an implanted defibrillator near his heart in 2007. Mr Cheney said that cardiologist Jonathan Reiner turned off the wireless function of the device, which controls irregular heartbeats with electric jolts, in case a terrorist tried to send his heart a fatal shock.”

Chief constable told to STOP arresting people: “The most senior police officer in Scotland has been warned against making arrests – because of fears that he is putting himself at unnecessary risk by enforcing the law. It comes after Sir Stephen House flagged down a motorist on the M8 near Glasgow as he was travelling on a police motorcyle. He was later joined by traffic officers but this apparently was not enough to justify the risk to his personal safety. Last week Police Scotland told The Sunday Times that the Chief Constable ‘regularly undertakes journeys in uniform … on a marked police motorbike.’ Sir Stephen is well renowned within the police force for his enthusiasm for street policing. When he became Chief constable of Strathclyde police, which was previously Scotlan’s largest police force, in 2007 he continued to regularly go out on patrol.”

Baldness breakthrough as scientists grow cells that sprout human hair for the first time: “In research that could ‘transform’ the treatment of hair loss, they have found a way of cloning the tiny cells that contain the ‘instruction book’ for growing new hair. In a world first, they have shown that when these lab-grown cells are put back into human skin, they sprout hair. Although the work is at an early stage, the scientists from Durham University in the UK and Columbia University in the US, say it represents a real breakthrough in treating the hair loss that blights millions of men and women. Cells from all seven human donors sprouted fledgling hairs and, in two or three cases, the tufts broke through the skin. The new hairs were white but Durham researcher Colin Jahoda says it should possible to produce coloured hair in future. Starting with a sample of a person’s own cells should also mean that any new hair is a good match in terms of texture and curliness.”

The lazy British: “A company boss who advertised 50 vacancies in a city with nearly 2,000 unemployed has branded local jobseekers ‘lazy’ after nobody came forward. Danny James, owner of recruitment agency Consistent Personnel, urgently required unskilled workers for at least three months’ work at a local food factory. But when he posted an advert at the local Jobcentre not a single person came forward in time for the start of the contract. Mr James said the response was ‘unbelievable’ and the attitude of local job-seekers was ‘a disgrace’. Recruitment boss Mr James claims that many do not want to work and have no intention of taking menial jobs they are offered. Mr James, 29, said: ‘People need no skills whatsoever. ‘It’s the most simple cake-packing, box-stacking position. My three-year-old daughter could do it. But not one person has rung me up. But one of those who considered the job hit back saying he had no choice because he is better off on benefits.”

A real green vehicle: Forget electric cars, this is a real green vehicle! Van abandoned in Chinese city for a YEAR is overrun by plants. At first glance these incredible images appear to show a trendy piece of urban art on a busy street. But in fact it is simply an abandoned van that has been left for more than a year, becoming almost engulfed in foliage. The extraordinary vehicle, recently pictured in Chengdu the capital of China’s Sichuan Province, has now finally been towed away by city authorities. Residents say the van had been ignored for a year and was overrun by nearby plants. Officials have not said how the eye-catching scene escaped their attention for so long. There is no indication as to the identity of the owner of the greenery-laden van.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.