The Girls On Fox News Song

January 31, 2016 at 2:06 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Iran Claims to Have ‘Shooed Away’ a U.S. Warship That Was 7,000 Miles Away in Norfolk at the Time: “A U.S. Navy warship which Iran claims to have chased away from a naval exercise in the Persian Gulf this week was at the time more than 7,000 miles away – in its home port of Norfolk, Virginia. Iranian state media have been reporting that an Iranian Navy warship on Wednesday sent a warning to the USS Monterey, which Iran claims was sailing near its annual military exercises near the Strait of Hormuz, and that as a result of the warning the guided missile cruiser “left the region immediately.” In the reports, some of which also carried photos of the Monterey, military officials claimed the U.S. vessel was evidently attempting to spy on the exercises. But a spokesman for the Bahrain-based U.S. Fifth Fleet, Cmdr. Kevin Stephens, said not only was the Monterey not in the Gulf at the time of the alleged incident, it was “in her home port of Norfolk, Virginia.”

Suspect in Pennsylvania theft caught while wearing an warning shirt: “The suspect in a Pennsylvania theft was caught wearing a shirt almost too ironic to be real. Michael Emrick, 36, allegedly stole items from a convenience store called ‘Sheetz’ in Baden, a borough 30 miles west of Pittsburgh. When police arrived on the scene they noticed Emrick’s shirt, which said: ‘I’m really good at making really bad decisions.’ Police encountered Emrick on Tuesday night as he was seated inside a pickup truck. Police said the suspect ignored police when they told him to exit the vehicle and officers had to used a taser on him. In the police report the taser was said to be ‘ineffective’ and Emrick ‘slammed onto the gas pedal and thrust forward’. For 15 minutes, Emrick led eight police cars on a high-speed chase while driving in an allegedly stolen GMC Sierra. The chase ended after the suspect crashed into a shed.”

Russian Tsar was a hornbag: “On April 4, 1866 Tsar Alexander II once again met Catherine ‘Katya’ Dolgorukaya in the Summer Gardens at St Petersburg. It was to be a fateful day. The couple had enjoyed chaste daily strolls for months and the tsar, 48, had become smitten by the 19-year-old with ash blonde hair, alabaster skin and a curvaceous figure, who found young men tedious, dreaded marriage and was bored by balls. But the teenage virgin did not succumb to the emperor until July that year. He was gripped by Katya’s unexpected capacity for pleasure: ‘We fell on each other like wild cats.’ Both believed this was, as she put it, ‘a passion inspired by God’. Katya told the emperor she ‘dedicated her life to love him’, while Alexander solemnly swore: ‘You are my secret wife… if ever I am free, I will marry you.’ It was, he later wrote, ‘the happiest day of my life’ and ‘the start of a honeymoon that has never ceased’”

Proof your cat loves you FIVE times less than your dog: “In Cats Vs Dogs, animal experts Chris Packham and Liz Bonnin team up with scientists and vets to put our two favourite pets to the test in a host of different categories. Scientists have already discovered that dogs do seem to love their owners — studies have found that both produce the ‘love hormone’ oxytocin when together. It’s the same hormone that pregnant women release during birth and breastfeeding to help them bond with their baby. But cats have never been tested for this. So the show asked U.S. neuroscientist Dr Paul Zak to test both types of animal to solve the eternal question. The results were astonishing: dogs showed an average increase in the hormone of 57.2 per cent, but cats just 12 per cent. ‘From this sample it’s true to say that these dogs love their owners five times more than the cats do,’ says Dr Zak. ‘I was really surprised to discover that dogs produced such high levels of oxytocin. ‘It was also a nice surprise to discover that cats produce any at all.”

Millionaire shipping executive escapes execution ‘by paying hitman hired by his father-in-law $25K more to leave him alone’: “A New York shipping executive says he is lucky to be alive after escaping execution – allegedly at the hands of his father-in-law – by paying off the hitman himself. A hit was allegedly taken out against Oleg Mitnik by the father of his estranged wife, Ronit Mitnik, with whom he is embroiled in a multi-million dollar divorce and custody battle. However Mitnik negotiated with his would-be killers – who were to be paid $100,000 for the assassination – by agreeing to pay the agreed amount plus an additional $25,000 sweetener. The would-be hitman, Boris Nayfeld, along with an associate, Boris Kotlyarsky, were soon arrested by the FBI on extortion charges. Police claim the pair accepted sums of $50,000 from both Mitnik and Potik.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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Yet more 20th century wisdom

January 30, 2016 at 1:47 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

~ Johnny Carson… If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.

~ Warren Tantum… I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical.

~ Steve Martin… Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.

~ Jimmy Durante… Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

~ George Roberts… The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.

~ Jonathan Winters… If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.

~ Robert Benchley… I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Swiss government proposes paying everyone £1,700 a month whether they work or not in a bid to end poverty… but insists most people will still want to get a job: “Swiss residents are to vote on a countrywide referendum about a radical plan to pay every single adult a guaranteed income of £425 a week (or £1,700 a month). The plan, proposed by a group of intellectuals, could make the country the first in the world to pay all of its citizens a monthly basic income regardless if they work or not. But the initiative has not gained much traction among politicians from left and right despite the fact that a referendum on it was approved by the federal government for the ballot box on June 5. Around 153 billion francs (£105 bn) would have to be levied from taxes, while 55 billion francs (£38 bn) would be transferred from social insurance and social assistance spending.”

Is this the best boss in the world? “Staff at a travel company were shocked when their boss marked a successful decade in business – by treating them to a luxury holiday in Barbados. Generous Helen Bilton, founder of The Group Company, is celebrating her company’s ten year anniversary by taking all 32 members of staff on a five-star, three-night all inclusive trip to the exotic island. Helen had initially told staff at a meeting last year that they would be attending Flamingo Land – but later said the adventure park was shut and revealed everyone would instead be travelling on an 8,000 mile round trip to the Caribbean destination. Speaking about the role her staff play at the company, she added: ‘Everyone works so hard and I am very grateful for that, so I’m delighted to be able to reward them.'”

Russian has his hand RIPPED OFF by a caged bear after ignoring his friends’ warnings and reaching in to stroke the animal: “This is the moment a Russian had his hand ripped off by a caged bear – after ignoring his friends’ warnings and reaching in to stroke the animal. Footage taken in Murmanskaya Oblast, in the country’s far north west shows the man screaming out in pain as the bear clamps its teeth around his arm. The brown bear took hold of his arm and stood up on its back legs as it yanked the man from side to side with its jaws. The man is believed to have lost his forearm up to his elbow in the attack – but did not die despite suffering horrific injuries”.

Oldsters terrorized by swans: “Two swans have wreaked havoc in a one-tranquil community, turning the residents’ peaceful lives into a ‘living hell’. The feathery fiends have attacked cars and cyclists, threatened the postman, terrorised pensioners and even soiled on their gardens. Now residents at Hope Mill Park near Stroud, in Gloucestershire are fighting back against the aggressive birds, arming themselves with water pistols, hoses, walking sticks and brooms. For more than ten years, the mute swans caused no problems for the community of 21 mobile homes on the banks of the Frome. But they have become increasingly territorial. Barbara Morse, 66, who has lived at the park for six years, said the daily incidents with the swans are shattering the peace. She is among those who have resorted to firing a water pistol at the birds, which are protected by law, to deter them. ‘They attacked my great granddaughter not too long ago. It scared her half to death,’ she said.

A luxury hotel with no bedrooms: Now abandoned: “It was called a hotel – but you couldn’t check in. The stunning L’Albergo Diurno Metropolitano was built between 1923 and 1925 and offered all the amenities you would find in a lavish Venetian hotel today – apart from a place to sleep. Hence it was known as a ‘daytime hotel. It was open between 7am and 11pm daily and was designed by architect Piero Portaluppi as a place to provide a moment of rejuvenation for people visiting the city – and those who needed somewhere to relax and wait for their check-in time at their hotel. L’Albergo was home to dozens of facilities including large comfortable lounges, public baths, a spa, ladies hairdressers, manicure salons and even ironing and wardrobe services. A newsagent, shoe-shiners, bicycle garage, travel agency and photography shop, were all also situated in the 12,916 sq foot space. Although the majority of the art déco’s facilities closed in the mid eighties, some of the barber shops stayed in operation”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

More great philosophers

January 29, 2016 at 11:35 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

~ Prince Philip… When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

~ Emo Philips… A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

~ Harrison Ford… Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.

~ Spike Milligan… The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree.

~ Robin Hall… Lawyers believe a person is innocent until proven broke.

~ Jean Rostand… Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger… Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.

~ WH Auden… We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

The great butter revival: “Butter is back in favour, and margarine is out of favour instead. Last week, the food-giant Unilever announced corporate changes that have led industry-watchers to speculate it is pulling out of producing margarine due to plummeting sales. Unilever’s success is founded partly on margarine, which for decades was hailed as the heart-friendly alternative to butter. Today, the company is the world’s largest margarine-maker, with brands such as Flora and the doughty Stork, which was launched in 1920. Before World War II, Stork was advertised as The Energy Giver to dispel thoughts that margarine was unhealthy. Originally made from beef fat and milk, most margarines are now made from a variety of vegetable oils, such as sunflower. In the past few years, a turnaround in expert health advice on dairy fats has transformed butter from fridge-shelf pariah to the golden boy of healthy spreads”

Stunning 16th-century stained glass windows that survived the Blitz restored to their former glory: “One of the world’s rarest collection of stained glass windows has been restored to its former glory after 200 years. More than 400 colour panels dating back to the 16th century were carefully removed from the famous Lady Chapel at Lichfield Cathedral, Staffordshire, and painstakingly cleaned for the historic restoration. Unlike Coventry Cathedral located 30 miles away, Lichfield was spared during WW2 by the Luftwaffe, who used its three spires as a navigational aid. The cathedral was also spared by King Henry VIII, who had abbeys and monasteries destroyed during the Reformation. Lichfield’s windows were originally bought from a local landowner for £100 around 200 years ago. He had taken from a Belgian monastery which had fallen into disrepair and shipped it back to England.”

Burger King prank: “John Correa, an 18-year-old from Florida, tweeted a picture of two giant bags of uncooked chicken nuggets lovingly strapped up in his car. “TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY WORKING AT BURGER KING SO I TOOK ALL OF THEIR NUGGETS, F*CK IT.” The tweet clocked up over 35,000 retweets, with many people deeming him an absolute legend for the act. But in true social media style, it turns out the whole thing was just an elaborate prank. It turns out Correa is still employed at the Miami Burger King location. The real story? His manager had just asked him to drive to another Burger King store and pick up extra nuggets. That was it”

University students get lessons in how to use a revolving DOOR: “For most people, using a door is a simple matter of opening it and walking through. But some find the revolving kind a little more complicated, if guidance issued by a Scottish university is to be believed. Students at Aberdeen’s Robert Gordon University have been issued with detailed instructions on their use. An email, issued on behalf of the university’s occupational health and safety team, lists dos and don’ts – prompting claims of a ‘nanny state gone mad’. Staff and students have been told not to stop or slow down the glass doors and to be aware of others using them. The guidance came after a member of staff fractured their arm at the Garthdee campus in Aberdeen. The email said: ‘Revolving doors are heavy and may cause serious injuries if they strike someone. Do not push the doors hard as they will continue revolving and do not have automatic brakes.”

If you’re reading this, you’re probably stealing my car’: “The owner of a car that is ‘constantly getting stolen’ got the vehicle back after leaving a hilarious note in the glovebox asking the thief to leave it somewhere it won’t get towed. The woman, from Portland, wrote the note two years ago after the black 1990s Honda Civic was first stolen, and it asked that the criminal put it on the dash when they abandon the vehicle. This time around, the thief did as they were asked, and four days after the theft, she got a call from a passerby who saw the note and let her know where the vehicle was. After getting the car back, they posted the note on Reddit, with the caption: ‘I left a snarky note in the glovebox of my Honda the last time it was stolen. Just recovered the car from the most recent theft. They read my letter and I think it worked; they ditched it in front of a house this time (YAY).’

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

An oldie but goldie

January 28, 2016 at 1:49 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

There’s nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know many of us have experienced this, and I love the way this man handled it.

A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’

‘There’s something wrong with my dick’, he replied. Immediately all heads turned to the old man. Even most of the sleepers woke up.

The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.’

‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.

The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you have caused some needless embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’

The man then decided to walk out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’

‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated loudly.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. ‘What is wrong with your ear, Sir?’

‘I can’t piss out of it,’ he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Frustrated Australian solves his problems student payment issues with the government by uncovering an internal government phone directory and ringing top executives directly: “A former university student has done what every person stuck on hold while calling Centrelink has dreamed of – going straight to the top and dealing with the boss. Tom Wade, 23, had been struggling to contact the Australian government service regarding his youth allowance payments, which had been cancelled, but instead of battling it out in call waiting, he found an internal government phone directory and contacted senior staff with his issues. Shortly after, his problems were resolved. Many people can likely relate to Mr Wade, who spent long stretches time on hold waiting to talk to somebody. He had used the Australian Government Directory to contact Department of Human Services (DHS) managers personally”

‘Amen!’ Toddler Caught on Monitor Praying: “One South Carolina family says they heard talking coming through a baby monitor in their daughter’s bedroom – and turned up the volume to find their daughter praying. WHNS-TV reports, when the Whitt family realized their daughter Sutton was praying – they captured it on camera. The 2-year old said prayers for multiple people, including Mommy, Daddy and Santa Claus. It was a prayer her mom Kathryn says wasn’t rehearsed. “We were shocked at how long her prayer was when we captured this because she rushes through her prayers with us every night,” said Kathryn. Sutton ends her prayer with a loud “amen.”

British teenager saves £7.72 on his train journey from Sheffield to Essex… by taking a PLANE via Berlin: “Jordon Cox, 18, was so incensed by the cost of a train ticket from Sheffield to his home in Shenfield, Essex, that he decided to see if flying was cheaper. After ransacking the internet for a deal, he flew from East Midlands Airport to Stansted via Berlin and still saved cash, despite spending his seven hour layover on a whistlestop tour of the German capital feasting on currywurst. This extreme option may not be for everyone. Jordon’s journey took 13 hours door-to-door, while a train trip would have been just three-and-a-half. He discovered he could fly home via Milan, Copenhagen, Dublin or Berlin with Ryanair and it would be cheaper than a single train journey in England”

US father tried for THEFT after he took his 12-year-old daughter’s cellphone away as a punishment: “A Texas father has been found not guilty of theft after he took his 12-year-old daughter’s phone away as punishment. Ronald Jackson, 36, had been charged with theft of property of at least $50 but under $500 after taking his daughter’s iPhone 4 when he found an inappropriate text in September 2013, WFAA reported. A judge ordered for Jackson to be found not guilty on Tuesday citing insufficient evidence to continue the case. Jackson had taken his daughter’s phone away to teach her lesson after reportedly finding a text he thought was rude regarding another woman. The girl’s mother, Michelle Steppe, said in court on Monday that she called police that same day who then went to Jackson’s home and asked for the iPhone back, but the father refused. Jackson and Steppe are no longer a couple and were never married but had their daughter together, who is now 15.” [What a b*tch of a mother]

Superman lives: “A villain who tried to rob a woman at a cashpoint in broad daylight is to face justice – after being caught by a real-life Superman. Charity worker Antonio Cortes, who was dressed as the caped superhero, was eating his breakfast at a pub when he heard screaming. He ditched his full English and ran outside – where he saw a man in dark clothing with his hands around a woman’s neck at a Co-Op bank. Antonio sprung into action and chased the middle-aged suspect down the street before wrestling him to the ground and holding him there. A 54-year-old man was arrested after the drama in Gloucester city centre yesterday morning (Weds) and is in custody. Antonio, who is originally from Tenerife in the Canary Isles, said the villain looked like a ‘desperate guy’ who had been drinking all morning. The woman suffered neck injuries but was treated by the ambulance at the scene.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Baby Emma tries a lemon

January 27, 2016 at 11:55 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Is it a plane? Is it a boat? Actually, it’s BOTH: “When one form of transport just isn’t enough, why not journey to your destination in a vehicle that is part plane, part boat, part hovercraft. Touted as the ‘future of transportation’, the FlyShip uses state-of-the-art technology to hover just above the water level and is capable of reaching speeds over 155mph (250km/h). The firm said the futuristic hybrid would be used primarily as a maritime transport vehicle for shifting cargo, but it could also be used as a commercial passenger transport and could even be used as a rapid response vehicle for the coastguard. As it is capable of transporting maritime cargo at speeds of over 155mph (250km/h), it is faster than using container ships which can typically only reach up to 25 knots (46mph). The concept vehicle can hold 100 passengers and has a cabin space area of 1,500sq ft.”

Stranded sloth: “This adorable sloth had to be rescued by Ecuadorian transport police after it got stuck half way when crossing a motorway. Police in Quevedo, central Ecuador, found the animal holding on to the crash barrier for dear life, moving neither forwards or backwards. Sloths move only when they absolutely need to, and rarely leave the branches of their favourite trees. However, they do climb down to ground level once a week to empty its bowels, often choosing the same spot each week. As the motorway opened recently, it is likely that it lies in what once was a natural path of travel for the sloth. As sloths have a top ground speed of just over 6ft per minute, it is believed it started crossing the road and then got stuck when traffic started speeding up. The Comisión de Tránsito del Ecuador(Ecuador Transit Commission) later added that the sloth had been returned to the rainforest.”

Best behaved dogs in the world? Four golden retrievers wait patiently in a line to have their paws cleaned before entering the house: “Mothers spend their lives making their children kick off dirty shoes before the entering the house. But now one enterprising woman has gone one better and trained her dogs to stop them traipsing mud everywhere. In the brilliant footage filmed in Thailand, the lady is seen waiting at the front door where her four golden retrievers wait patiently in an orderly queue before they are cleaned and allowed into the house. The canines must wait patiently, one behind the other. Remarkably there is no queue-jumping or jostling. Crouching on the floor by the door, the woman wipes each of the dogs’ paws in turn with a towel. She has even trained them to lift up each foot so she can clean thoroughly, and only then are they permitted to enter.”

Dieters eat ‘40% more of a food when they’re told it’s not good for them’: “We’re all constantly told that sugary snacks are bad for us and increase the risk of diabetes or heart disease. But despite the warnings, people still reach for the calorie-laden treats they know are bad for them. In fact, a new study found dieters are much more likely to choose unhealthy snacks after being given the advice. Researcher Nguyen Pham, of Arizona State University, said: ‘What these results show us is that rather than leading dieters to make healthier choices, these food police messages are actually making unhealthy foods even more enticing to dieters.’ The team from Arizona State University conducted three studies investigating the effectiveness of negative one-sided messages about food. One study included 380 participants, who were given positive, negative or neutral messages about dessert. Dieters who saw the negative message – such as one that said all sugary snacks are bad – were found to have more positive thoughts about unhealthy foods.”

Cheetah licks photographer’s FEET as he was taking pictures in African game reserve: “This is the terrifying moment a wild cheetah approached a daring photographer in an African game reserve – before starting to lick his toes. Kim Wolhuter, 57, was filming in Mashatu Game Reserve in Botswana, when the inquisitive animal came in for a closer look. He had been taking photos of a mother cheetah with her four cubs when the female cub decided to give his foot the once over. The big cat even had a nibble at one point, although Mr Wolhuter walked away from the encounter with all of his toes intact. The incident was the culmination of six weeks spent filming the wild cats, during which Mr Wolhuter steadily built trust with the mother and her offspring.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Great Philosophers Of The 20th Century

January 26, 2016 at 2:53 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

~ John Glenn… As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.

~ Desmond Tutu… When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.

~ David Letterman… America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

~ Howard Hughes… I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I’m a billionaire.

~ Old Italian proverb… After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.

~ Betsy Salkind… Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

~ Jean Kerr… The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor… I’ve been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.

~ Jeff Foxworthy… You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

British cops BREAK INTO ‘unsecure’ homes: “Police have been accused of ‘breaking and entering’ and ‘trespassing’ after letting themselves into people’s unlocked homes and tweeting pictures as part of a bizarre anti-burglary drive. The Coventry City Police team has faced an angry backlash on social media after publicising how officers have been testing front doors while carrying out burglary patrols of the city. The photos, one of which has been retweeted by West Midlands Police’s chief constable, showed police inside hallways to make a point that the homeowner’s property was ‘unsecure’. But the approach has sparked outrage online, with one Twitter user, Craig Walder, posting: ‘If you enter my home like this, don’t be surprised if I use reasonable force when I hear you.'”

Man reveals how a Big Issue seller thanked him for giving him change and hot drinks by treating HIM to a coffee after winning £20 on a scratchcard: “A touching post about a Big Issue seller’s generosity after winning £20 on a scratchcard has been warming the hearts of thousands on social media. Joe Wilson shared a photo of Glasgow magazine seller, Daniel Collins, who had bought him a coffee with the winnings to say thank you for the hot drinks, money and chats he had given him in the past. He wrote in the post, uploaded to Facebook on Saturday: ‘This is Daniel. He sells the Big Issue outside Hillhead library. Each week, I stop and have a chat, give him a couple of quid, if I have it, and buy him a coffee from the place I go to for a breakfast. ‘Today, I did the same as usual but when I went to pay for my breakfast, the girl in the cafe told me it had already been paid for…by Daniel. ‘He’d won £20 on a scratchcard and decided he was going to treat me for a change. ”

Australian bikini designer who achieved overnight success with her cheeky designs: “An Australian bikini designer has struck a goldmine with her cheeky designs and clever marketing tactics and now runs a business that turns over millions of dollars in sales. 26-year-old Karina Irby says she has one goal in mind with her designs – for customers to realise the Port Macquarie designer’s mantra: ‘it’s not just a bikini, it’s a lifestyle.’ To advertise her designs, she uses models dusted with sand while posing on beautiful beaches. Self-taught, the young designer spent hours ‘YouTubing’ to learn how to make and design swimwear. In an interview with the Daily Mail Australia she said: ‘When I launched we had about 100 pieces in 12 different styles online, they sold out within a week. Buyers from Australia, America, Europe, Russia and as far away as Iceland are snapping up the swimwear Ms Irby’s showcases on her Instagram account”

Monkey adopts pup: “A monkey in southern India seems to have a serious case of ‘puppy love’ and has ‘adopted’ a homeless puppy. The rhesus macaque has taken the abandoned dog under its wing – and now the pair are inseparable. They are so close in fact, and their bond so unbreakable, that they go everywhere together and are the talk of Erode, Tamil Nadu in southern India. A series of touching photographs, viewed 170,000 times on Facebook, shows the rhesus macaque feeding, cleaning and protecting the tiny puppy as though it were its own baby. Another shot shows the monkey picking dirt and fleas off the little dog, in a cleaning session in the middle of the street. Bizarrely, he even clutches the puppy to its chest as it leaps from a tree – as the dog holds on. The monkey also shows its aggressive side, bearing its teeth to frighten off stray dog.”

Purr-fect storm of confusion as electoral commission mistakenly sends an enrol-to-vote letter to a cat – named Chairman Meow: “A woman was shocked to received a letter addressed to her pet cat reminding him to enrol to vote in time for the next election. Tiana Lyes posted a photo of the head-scratching letter, sent from the Electoral Commission to her cat Chairman Meow, onto Twitter on Saturday and within days it drew hundreds of comments and laughs. She believes that her cat received the letter because their vet sends mail directly to Chairman Meow and Ms Lyes has recently changed addresses. But in a sad twist, she revealed Chairman Meow won’t be able to enrol not only because he’s a feline, but because he is missing. Ms Lyes said she is hoping that his internet fame because of the letter mishap will help bring Chairman Meow home.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

PRESCRIPTION DRUG SIDE EFFECT

January 25, 2016 at 12:32 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

It’s breakfast time, and a woman asks her husband, “Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?”

He declines. “Thanks for asking, but, I’m not hungry right now. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”

At lunchtime, she asks him if he’d like something. “How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?”

He declines. “The Viagra,” he says, “really trashes my desire for food.”

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. “Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?”

He declines again. “No,” he says, “it’s got to be the Viagra. I’m still not hungry.”

“Well,” she says, “Would you mind letting me up? I’m starving.”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Crocodile takes morning dip in Florida Keys swimming pool: “A crocodile apparently decided a morning dip in a Florida Keys swimming pool was just the thing it needed. Monroe County Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Becky Herrin says an Islamorada homeowner called around 7:30 a.m. Thursday to report the croc in his pool. A photo provided by the sheriff’s office shows the large reptile floating languidly in the shallow end of the pool. Herrin said the animal was about 8 feet long. Herrin says deputies and officers from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission safely removed the animal and returned it to its native habitat. The American crocodile is designated as a federal threatened species. It lives mainly in brackish waters of South Florida and the Keys. Islamorada is 77 miles north of Key West.”

Guantánamo detainee refuses to leave: “Three Guantánamo detainees were slated to leave the US prison in Cuba this week after about 14 years in captivity. But early Wednesday morning, only two were willing to board the plane. The third, Mohammed Ali Abdullah Bwazir of Yemen, balked at the last minute, even though he has a history of hunger striking to protest his indefinite detention without trial. In recent days, Bwazir was “frightened” to leave the prison and go to a country where he has no family, his lawyer, John Chandler, said. The country has not been identified. Chandler also said his client, who was born around 1980 and brought to Guantánamo in 2002, was depressed. He compared his client to a character in the prison movie “The Shawshank Redemption” who has spent so much of his life behind bars that he cannot handle life on the outside after finally being paroled. “Can you imagine being there for 14 years, and going to a plane where you could finally leave, and saying ‘No, take me back to my cell?’”

Atlanta couple terrorized by unknown glitch that brings dozens of people and police to their home demanding STOLEN phones: “An Atlanta couple is being bombarded by people pounding on their front door, sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes with a cop, demanding that they hand over a missing phone. Christina Lee and Michael Saba’s answer is always the same: ‘Your phone-tracking app is wrong, we’re sorry you’ve come all this way. This has happened before.’ They received more than a dozen visits in the last year – and two already in the first month of 2016. As the visits continue, Lee and Saba are getting more and more worried that one day the person who believes their stolen iPhone is inside their home won’t be as understanding as the last. ‘My biggest fear is that someone dangerous or violent is going to visit our house because of this,’ Saba told Fusion.”

Diver leaned out of cage to pat Great White shark on the nose: “This is the incredible moment one daredevil diver reached out of his underwater cage and patted a Great White shark on the nose. Not content with merely watching the terrifying predator prowling the underwater environment, the three scuba divers decide they want to get up close and personal. One member of the group decides the only way to attract the shark’s attention is by teasing it with some bait. And so some food is floated out of the cage to attract attention. The Great White swims up to the cage, and it is this moment where the diver leans his body between two rungs, and reaching out his hand, pats the beast on the nose. The other two divers remain in the confines of the cage, one photographing the incredible, if not heart-stopping encounter”

Sperm whales washed up dead on British beaches ‘were part of pod which has also lost 12 other members: “The four tragic whales found washed up on British beaches are believed to be part of the same all-male group as 12 more found dead around Holland and Germany last week. British experts say the three males found in Lincolnshire and one in Norfolk are part of a bachelor pod that ventured into the North Sea from deeper water and were unable to feed in shallower depths. Twelve more sperm whales, also all male, were found washed n or off the coast of the Dutch island of Texel and the German islands of Wangerooge and Helgoland last week. Pods can include more than 20 of the 30-tonne animals, and it is believed that all of them may die after venturing into a stretch of water that is almost impossible to escape without going back the way they came.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Some unusual logic

January 24, 2016 at 7:45 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment


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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Australian baby delivered from dead car crash victim: “A BOY has been charged with manslaughter after a pregnant woman was killed in a high speed crash with a stolen car in Hobart, police say. The 15-year-old who cannot be identified for legal reasons was also been charged with motor vehicle stealing, police said. A 32-week-term baby was delivered alive from the woman who died in the collision about 1am today in central Hobart. “At this stage the baby is alive,” police Commander Glenn Frame told reporters this morning. The woman, 24, died as a result of the crash and her unborn child was later delivered at the Royal Hobart Hospital, police said. Police said her two-year-old son was also in the car and received only minor injuries. The woman was returning home after dropping her partner to work at a bakery.”

Crazy cyclist: “MOTORISTS were left stunned when a cyclist rode past them on a busy Sydney street with a young boy desperately clinging to his back – with neither wearing a helmet. The man was snapped riding through peak hour traffic at about 6pm on Tuesday with shopping bags in one hand and the boy with his arms tightly wrapped around his neck. Police who were shown the photo of the man were shocked to see such blatant disregard for the child’s safety. She said traffic in the area was heavy and people are often breaking road rules in the area making it even more dangerous for the rider and his young passenger. “It’s so dangerous, especially in that part of the city and during peak hour when cars around me are running red lights,” she said.

Garlic ‘reverses build-up of deadly plaque that clogs arteries and triggers heart attacks’: “Aged garlic extract reduces dangerous plaque buildup in arteries, according to the study from Los Angeles Biomedical Research Institute at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center. That helps prevent the progression of heart disease – which is the leading cause of death worldwide. The study involved 55 patients between the ages of 40 and 75, each of whom were diagnosed with metabolic syndrome. The screenings were conducted through cardiac computed tomography angiography (CCTA), an imaging technology that measures deposits and build up in arteries. After being evaluated, the participants were either given a placebo or a dose of 2,400 milligrams of aged garlic extract each day. One year later, a follow-up screening was conducted. The study determined those who had taken aged garlic extract had slowed the total plaque accumulation by 80 per cent”

Pink for girls?: “A 26-year-old bather found her skin turned bright pink for three days after she mistook luxury bath oils from Lush for soap and rubbed them all over herself. Abi Shenton, of Bournemouth, Dorset, used the products called Razzle Dazzle which are supposed to be diluted in water – but she covered her body with them by mistake. She tweeted Lush to ask for help, before a friend who works for the cosmetics retailer helped her to remove the stain with lemon juice, olive oil and a gritty face wash. A description of the £2 oils on the Lush website says: ‘What if your hinges all are rusting? Razzle Dazzle ’em with splendiferous raspberry ripples, bergamot and juicy Persian lime!’ And a Lush spokesman told MailOnline today: ‘We are as red in the face as Abi at the idea that one of our bath melts has been mistaken for a soap.’

Bungling British bureaucrats announce new English test for migrants… but spell ‘language’ WRONGLY: “Home Office officials bungled the announcement of David Cameron’s new English test for migrants policy after they misspelled ‘language’, it was revealed today. The embarrassing memo on the department’s website was headed ‘New English langauge (sic) test for family route migrants’. David Cameron came under attack this week for ‘threatening’ Muslim wives who do not learn English with being removed from the UK – and the test is a product of that. Broadcaster Anita Anand wrote on Twitter: ‘Beyond parody – Home Office can’t spell ‘language’ in their note to migrants who have been told to learn English.’ Neil Ainger ‏wrote: ‘If migrants fail this they risk deportation. So who exactly from the Home Office are we deporting?’ The new rule affects non-European partners and parents of British citizens or people settled in the UK.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

A Man’s Age, as shown by a trip to the hardware store

January 23, 2016 at 8:48 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

You’re in the middle of some kind of project around the house – mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever. You’re hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit – shorts with the hole in the crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to the hardware store to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20s: Stop what you’re doing. Shave, take a shower, blow-dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favourite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30s: Stop what you’re doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror: still got it. Add a shot of your favourite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40s: Stop what you’re doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to the hardware store. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50s: Stop what you’re doing. Put on a hat; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don’t want to get dog crap in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Gold Coast’s Bait & Beer Bar and it says ‘I Got Worms.’

In your 60s: Stop what you’re doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70s: Stop what you’re doing. Wait to go to the hardware store until the chemist has your prescriptions ready too. Don’t even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and then you realize that something is hanging out the hole in your crotch.

In your 80s: Stop what you’re doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to the hardware store. Go to Target instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. You think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

In your 90s & beyond: What’s a hardware store? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you?

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

TRIPLE barrel shotgun launched at Las Vegas firearms show: “Over 64,000 gun fans have descended on Las Vegas for the first major gun show of 2016 – and a triple barrel shotgun is among the new weapons on display at the Shooting, Hunting and Outdoor Trade Show. Called the Triple Crown, its maker Chiappa launched new models at the show. At first glance, it looks just like a normal shotgun – but actually has a third barrel above the traditional two. The firing sequence of the barrel is right, left top, although on some models of the shotgun this can be changed. It fires standard 20 and 28 gauge cartridges. The shotgun was first revealed in 2013, but this year the firm behind it has two new versions, a 20 and 28 gauge. Both the new gauges have a 26-inch barrel and the overall length of the shotgun is 43 inches. The new shotguns will retail for approximately $2,039 – $2,079, according to Fox News”.

Volvo promises ‘DEATHPROOF’ cars by 2020: “Volvo has promised that by 2020, no one will be killed or seriously injured by one of its new cars. The Swedish company, which has built its reputation on safety, says a world where nobody dies in car accidents is closer than most people think. It maintains that the solution to a crash-free world lies in self-driving cars, but a host of high-tech safety features are making drivers safer – and better – in the meantime. The past decade has seen dramatic development by various automakers in the field of collision-avoidance technology. Blind-spot detectors now watch for oncoming vehicles, adaptive cruise controls reduce speed based on cars ahead, and camera systems warn drivers when they drift out of their lanes. Detectors can even pick up on a drowsy driver’s subtle changes in behavior to indicate it’s time for a break. ‘The long term vision is that cars shouldn’t crash,’ said Volvo spokesman Jim Trainor.”

Some Irish plumbing: “This apprentice plumber was just moments away from finishing work when his boss came in to check on his progress. The young man said he thought he had done ‘not too bad’ a job in fitting his first ever toilet, proudly running his hand over the lid as he spoke. It was only when his boss asked him to close the door that he realised he had made one fatal mistake. Ready to point out the mistake that has been made, the boss asks: ‘You wouldn’t do me a favour? Close that door there for me.’ It is only when the apprentice reaches for the handle that he realises the toilet is in the way and will stop the door from closing. In a moment of pure frustration he shouts, ‘ah for f***’s sake!’ and slaps the toilet as his boss and another colleague laugh in the background.

Gunman shoots a South African police officer in the back while he was writing a ticket. But cop fires back and chases him: “The shooter, a man in a grey hoodie, jeans and a blue baseball cap, is seen walking through the bush at the side of the road before standing in front of the police car, putting himself in direct view of the dash cam. The gunman then approaches Mr Alexander and says something that makes him turn away from the stopped car to face him. He demands the officer hand over his firearm and shoots him in the back when he refuses. Apparently protected by a bullet-proof vest, Mr Alexander immediately drops to the ground and takes cover behind the parked Mercedes-Benz before returning fire. The officer is seen radioing for back up as he runs out of shot in pursuit of the man. Mr Alexander finishes issuing the Mercedes-Benz driver a fine for driving in a restricted lane before being taken to hospital, where he was treated for a flesh wound.”

Snake-proof fences used to fortify Australian homes against feared serpent plague: “Melissa Holt, whose home backs on to Settlers Run Golf and Country Club in Botanic Ridge, 45km from the CBD, said sightings of tiger and other snakes were now daily events. “My husband sees them on the golf course frequently and we’ve had one in the house,” Mrs Holt said. “When one of our neighbours found one in her laundry before Christmas, we decided to act.” She said several of her immediate neighbours had installed the protective fencing, with the issue highlighted by yesterday’s Leader story about a woman who was bitten by a tiger snake in Cranbourne and revealed several dogs in her area had been killed by snakebites. “I didn’t hesitate,” Ms Holt said. “We have two young children to think about and the $800 spent on the fencing was not a consideration when it came to their safety. The fencing does not provide a complete barrier.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Cats like boxes — any boxes

January 22, 2016 at 12:03 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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Odd news from around the world

Bungling British bureaucrats again: “A taxi driver was banned from taking children to school after he was reported for kissing and hugging his two young daughters. Tony Kemp, 60, from Kirkbymoorside was suspended from the school run for six days by North Yorkshire County Council after they said an allegation had been made against him. The council refused to tell him why he was suspended, but a colleague told him he had been seen kissing and cuddling two girls outside a school – which he then realised were his daughters, who are nine and 11. Once officials realised the error, Mr Kemp was reinstated, but he is furious at how he was treated by the council and ‘devastated’ that the accusation was made. He says he can not understand why he was not told what the allegation was, and why he was not interviewed as a matter of urgency – which would have given him the opportunity to explain what had really happened”

Muslim schoolboy, 10, quizzed by police after writing ‘I live in a terrorist house’ when he meant ‘terraced’: “A Muslim boy has been quizzed by police after mistakenly writing that he lived in a ‘terrorist house’ rather than a ‘terraced house’. The 10-year-old made the error during an English lesson at a primary school in Accrington, Lancashire, and the following day officers arrived at his home to interview him and examine the family laptop. Speaking to the BBC, the boy’s family said the incident on December 7 had shocked them and asked for the police and school to apologise. His cousin, who has not been named to protect his identity, said: ‘You can imagine it happening to a 30-year-old man, but not to a young child. ‘If the teacher had any concerns it should have been about his spelling. ‘They shouldn’t be putting a child through this. He’s now scared of writing, using his imagination.’

Australia’s “squeezy” ketchcup sachets praised: “IT IS a fairly standard thing found in every shop in Australia. We begrudgingly pay 30c for them, and generally take them for granted. And yet people overseas are losing their minds over our incredible invention. Reddit user Youlikeitlikewhat posted a video of the “magical” easy-to-squeeze sauce packet in use, and people couldn’t believe what they were watching. He captioned the video: “Australians not only have a beautiful country. And beautiful people. They also have these motherf***ing personal sauce dispensers.” Even overseas news sites couldn’t believe how cool these things were. “Why can’t we get these here? Australia has the best no-mess ketchup sachets ever,” read a headline on UK site The Sun. But Aussies quickly reassured everyone that these aren’t really that big of a deal. “This is a normal boring thing that every shop has in Australia”

Homeowner is stunned when the old vase in the attic turns out to be antique Chinese flask which sells for nearly £500,000: “A homeowner had an unexpected surprise after finding an old vase in the attic which was worth nearly £500,000. The unidentified man had no idea of the value of his Chinese antique when he took it to be valued at an auction house in Honiton, Devon. And he was stunned to discover the family heirloom that had been collecting dust for decades was worth a fortune. It was identified as a rare puce-enamelled blue and white dragon bianhu moon flask from the Imperial Court during the Qianlong period of 1736 to 1795. The vase was deemed so valuable it went on tour in the Far East, visiting Beijing, Shanghai, Taipei and Singapore before finally being sold. It was eventually purchased by someone in Hong Kong for £488,000. The moon flask was previously owned by a colonel who served in Her Majesty’s Royal Army Medical Corps in China in the early 1900s.”

Cat looks suspiciously like Star Wars character Kylo Ren: “This is the amazing image of a cat which was abandoned at a welfare shelter that looks suspiciously like Star Wars character Kylo Ren. Corey the cat was put up for adoption by Monmouth County SPCA in New Jersey when someone online noticed the cat’s resemblance to actor Adam Driver who plays Kylo Ren in the blockbuster movie. The Oriental Shorthair is 2 and a half years old and ‘has the softest fur you’ll ever feel’. According to Monmouth County SPCA’s Facebook page: ‘After a social media whirlwind, Corey the cat has been adopted!”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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