Wicked Thoughts

A marvellous surprise

Story here

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Gummy guys don’t get the girl: “Bad breath and bleeding gums are not sexy. But periodontitis, an inflammation or infection of the gums, may hamper your sex life in another way: It may be a cause of erectile dysfunction, a new study suggests. The results showed that periodontitis impaired erectile function in rats. The findings agree with a previous study that showed periodontitis is more common in men with erectile dysfunction than men without erectile dysfunction.”

Charming new drug: “A new designer drug called krokodil — a derivative of morphine that can turn an addict’s skin greenish, scaly and cause it to rot away — is being eyed by officials at the Drug Enforcement Administration, FoxNews.com has learned. … Thus far, users of krokodil — or desomorphine — have only been found in large numbers in Russia, where 65 million doses of the opiate have been seized during the first three months of this year alone, Russia’s Federal Drug Control Service told Time.”

Man shot with arrows by Papua New Guinea tribesmen defending his girlfriend: “Graphic designer Matt Scheurich, 28, was struck twice in the chest while his partner was attacked in a remote village in the nation’s Western Province on June 19, The Cairns Post said. He was also struck over the head with a rock. Mr Scheurich pulled the two arrows from his torso before he and his 29-year-old French girlfriend, who had been undertaking her anthropology PhD research with the Febi tribe, ran for their lives. It is understood the tribesman had wanted to marry his girlfriend, named by The Waikato Times in New Zealand as Anais Gerard. The couple were able to activate an emergency locator beacon after the attack, and were picked up by a missionary air service and transported to a nearby hospital at Kiunga, where they were both treated by two volunteer doctors from the Sydney-based Australian Doctors International. One of the doctors donated a pint of his own blood to keep his patient alive”

Black woman ‘killed her baby then took the body shopping’: “A mother has been accused of killing her three-month old baby in a drunken rage and then strapping her the body into a sling and going shopping. Prosecutors told the Chicago Sun Times that Toyrianna Smith, 20, beat and suffocated her baby, Ken Blackman Jr., on June 22 because he wouldn’t stop crying. The baby had been dead for up 14 hours when Ms Smith wrapped up her shopping trip and went to visit a neighbour, who noticed blood on the baby blanket and called police. Ms Smith had allegedly been drinking vodka at a friend’s house and spent the night in their guest room with the baby. She slipped out of the house the next day before the baby’s father came to pick him up. Medical examiners said he had been dead at least eight hours when he was brought to the emergency room and ruled his death a homicide.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Grumpy cat

And he REALLY IS as grumpy as he looks, apparently

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

US tourist left behind on snorkelling trip to remote area: “A Cairns reef operator has fired an employee responsible for a bungled headcount that resulted in a tourist being left behind on a snorkelling trip. US tourist Ian Cole, 28, told The Cairns Post he was panic-stricken when he pulled his head from the water at Michaelmas Cay on Saturday afternoon and saw no sign of the vessel Passions of Paradise anywhere. Mr Cole estimated the boat left at least 20 minutes before he swam to another vessel owned by the same company, whose employees radioed for Passions of Paradise to come back. Mr Cole said he was making his way back to the boat when the incident unfolded. “I lifted my head up and I saw the boat had gone – it had left me,” he said. “I was able to calm myself just a little bit because there was another boat still out there and I made my way to that vessel. “Lucky it was there because otherwise I may have drowned”

Not so bird-brained: Crows are clever: “Humans who dismiss birds as featherweights may revise their opinion, because new evidence reveals crows not only can identify the face of someone who is a danger but also teach others about the threat. Intrigued by the behaviour of wild American crows (Corvus brachyrhynchos) on their campus in Seattle, University of Washington scientists explored whether the birds would recall a face associated with a frightening ordeal. The researchers donned the rubber mask of a caveman before trapping, banding and releasing seven crows. Thereafter, researchers wore either this “dangerous” mask or a neutral one – that of former US vice president Dick Cheney – and observed, as they walked along the college paths, how the flock of crows reacted. The “crow magnon” mask prompted the birds into a collective response to a threat. They cawed and screeched, angrily flapped their wings and flicked their tail to warn of the danger, a behaviour called scolding. But the Cheney mask elicited no response.”

Legally killed: 21 dementia victims given lethal injections by Dutch doctors in 2010: “Dementia sufferers are being killed by doctors in Holland under the country’s euthanasia laws, official figures are to reveal. A total of 21 patients with early-stage dementia, including Alzheimer’s, died by lethal injection last year, according to a forthcoming annual report. This is the first time dementia sufferers have been included in the country’s euthanasia statistics. None of the cases is thought to have involved any illegal act on the part of health professionals, and each time the patient was considered capable of giving their consent. The NOS report included video footage of Alzheimer’s sufferer Guusje de Koning, 63, explaining to her children why she wanted to die at the hands of her doctor. She said she had witnessed her own father’s slow decline and death through the illness, adding: ‘I don’t want that. I don’t want to suffer.’”

Convertible car top flies off on the highway: “Rose McGowan’s car roof turned out to be a thorn in her side after it flew off when she was driving on the highway. The not-so-Charmed actress posted a picture of her sporty Mercedes-Benz convertible’s smashed up top on social networking website Twitter. And after she got over the shock, the 37-year-old actress managed to see the funny side of the incident, which saw the hardtop convertible roof fly off. It appeared the actress had not properly clipped the roof onto her car before setting off on her journey, believed to be in the Los Angeles area. However furious Mercedes owners on the Benzworld.org website claimed the photo was fake. One said: ‘Set Up. Looks surprisingly undamaged to me,’ and another added, ‘My thoughts too. If the top came off it would probably come down on its top and be much more damaged.'”

Naughty British number plate? “A motorist who bought the cheeky number plate ‘BO11 LUX’ for his new car has been ordered by the DVLA to remove it – even though he bought it from their website. Alan Clarke, 49, from Chesterfield, bought the plate for £399 from the official site to put on his new black Range Rover and says it left family, friends and other motorists in stitches when they spotted it. But within six weeks, he received a stern letter from the DVLA telling him the plate was ‘causing offence’ and ordering him to remove it from his vehicle. The DVLA says it is an offence for it to still be displayed. Mr Clarke, who is the chairman of a telecoms company in Chesterfield, Derbys., is baffled by the organisation’s stance. The married father-of-one said: ‘It’s absolutely ludicrous. I saw it on the DVLA website last November and thought it would be a bit of fun to put it on my new car. If they didn’t want me to buy it they shouldn’t have put it on their website.'” [“Bollocks” is a British expletive meaning “nonsense” but it originally referred to testicles]

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Helpful doormat

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

The German army aint what it used to be: “German soldiers mostly don’t know how to use their weapons.” They “have no or little experience driving armored vehicles.” For German field commanders, “the necessity and ways [to protect their units from roadside bombs] are to a large extent either unknown or incorrect.” These are quotes from a series of secret internal reports on the German army, the Bundeswehr, whose 5,000 soldiers in the northern Kunduz sector of Afghanistan were supposed to help the U.S. rout the Taliban and stabilize the country over the past 10 years. The secret reports bemoan German soldiers’ outdated training and antiquated, insufficient equipment. German forces could not operate if it weren’t for Ukrainian cargo planes and American helicopters”

German managers ‘keep phones in biscuit tins’: “A German chemicals company says its managers have begun keeping their mobile phones in biscuit tins during meetings in order to guard against industrial espionage. “Experts have told us that mobile phones are being eavesdropped on more and more, even when they are switched off,” Alexandra Boy, spokeswoman for Essen-based speciality chemicals maker Evonik, said. “The measure applies mostly when sensitive issues are being discussed, for the most part in research and development,” she said, confirming a report in business weekly Wirtschaftswoche. Biscuit tins have a so-called Farraday cage effect, she said, blocking out electromagnetic radiation and therefore preventing people from hacking into mobile phones, not only for calls but also to get hold of emails.”

A deadly puff: “A rail passenger was decapitated after being dragged along underneath a Tube train which he had fallen out of while smoking a cigarette. The 52-year-old man is believed to have forced open the emergency exit doors between carriages on a late-night Metropolitan Line Tube train between Chorleywood, Herts, and Chesham, Bucks. Police said that he fell through a gap and, after tumbling onto the track, he was dragged along at 50mph, gruesomely severing his head from his body. The discovery of his headless body was made by emergency service staff responding to reports that a man had fallen between the carriages. It was believed his death was a bizarre accident and was not being treated as suspicious. A rail worker who was on the Tube train at the time of the death, said on an online forum: ‘A passenger who was smoking between the carriages on the train slipped and fell onto the tracks while the train was moving at 50mph.”

Is this Britain’s luckiest woman?: “A woman who suffers from painful muscle condition and relies on a mobility car to get around has won hundreds of prizes after entering online competitions and completing crosswords. Lucky Liz Denial [above], from Stapleford, Nottingham, has been able to kit out her home with prizes – which include a 37-inch LCD TV, a home cinema system, two X-boxes and hundreds of bottles of fancy toiletries and cleaning products. The 51-year-old former bank worker has even bagged herself a five-star VIP holiday to Kenya. And she has been able to top-up her luxury lifestyle after pocketing £16,500 on TV show Deal or No Deal. Liz, who was forced to give up her job after developing painful muscle condition fibromyalgia, has won a prize every single day since since last October. Liz said: ‘I rely on winning prizes because I don’t have a job and my mobility car is very expensive to run.”

Food festival in China celebrates canine culinary culture – with 15,000 dogs on the menu: “The delicacies on offer might not be to everyone’s taste, but that didn’t stop thousands of visitors attending a food festival in Yulin, eastern China. For the town is recognised throughout the region for producing some of the most flavoursome dog meat in the world. More than 15,000 dogs were slaughtered to feed connoisseurs of canine flesh at the week-long festival, which kicked off at the weekend. Farmers in the region are highly respected for raising different breeds of dog specifically for the table. Local Lu Hin explained: ‘It is just like other meat. Smaller animals tend to be more delicate and sweeter while very big dogs have a strong, muscular taste.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Role reversal?

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Woman bites off tongue of attacker: “Leaving her Stamford, Connecticut church in the early evening hours, a woman was approached by a stranger in an alley. (She apparently left the church through a side door exit which led to an alley.) The man attempted conversation with her, asked her for a hug – which she refused- and began an assault. He grabbed her and threw her to the ground with violent intentions. After placing his tongue in the woman’s mouth, he was repelled by the force with which the woman bit down, tearing a chunk of his tongue out in the process. This is a classic example of how self-defense can sometimes take an unexpected turn. Using what was available to her at the time, this brave woman used her own body to ward off an attack that could have ended fatally. Thankfully, she is okay – the same cannot be said for her attacker.

Indian Woman Parades Severed Head of Attacker Through Market: “A 35-year old woman decided to take the law into her own hands when a man came up to her while she was gathering grass for her cattle and tried to sexually assault her. In the end, the man learned the hard way that you never, ever attack a woman using a large blade in an isolated field. The scene from a horror movie took lace in the village of Makkapurva, which is about 170 miles south east of the city of Lucknow. When the man attacked her, she turned on him and eventually, well, cut his head off with a sickle. Not one to just let it alone, she held the trophy up high, parading it around the local market as people fled in horror.”

In single shot on his first hunt, Dallas lawyer kills one of America’s biggest ever alligators: “It was his first ever alligator hunt, but lawyer Levi McCathern made sure his name will go into the record books. With a single shot he killed what is believed to be one of the biggest ever alligators ever found in the America – a monster weighing almost 900lbs and 14 feet long. McCathern said he was inspired by the TV show ‘Swamp People’ to try and track down a monster gator. He applied for special permission to hunt the gator on private land and it took him and his guide two days to stalk the giant reptile in the Trinity River, near Crockett in east Texas. He killed the beast with a single shot to the brain from a distance of 100 yards, and admits it was his finest ever kill. The Dallas-based lawyer said he plans to have the gator mounted and placed on a wall in his office where other hunting trophies adorn the walls.”

French woman marries her DEAD boyfriend: “A woman has married her dead boyfriend at a ceremony in France – after getting permission from President Sarkozy. Karen Jumeaux, 22, made use of an obscure French law to wed fiance Anthony Maillot – almost two years after he was killed in a road accident. She wrote to President Nicolas Sarkozy to ask permission for a posthumous wedding, which was granted because she could prove they were already planning to marry. The couple met in 2007 and had a baby boy in 2009, shortly before his death at the age of 20. She married in a white dress and in the presence of family and friends at the town hall ceremony in Dizy-le-Gros, eastern France, yesterday. She said afterwards: ‘He was my first and only love and we were together for four years. ‘Now I am his wife and I will always love him.'”

Expensive iced coffee: “A Gympie man who dared to crack open an iced coffee in a supermarket has been convicted of stealing and fined $400. Craig Anthony McLean appeared in Gympie Magistrates Court this morning accused of stealing a 750ml bottle of Dare Iced Coffee from a large supermarket chain about noon on June 9. Police prosecutor Senior Constable Lisa Manns said a supermarket staff member saw Mr McLean put the iced coffee to his lips. The staff member informed Mr McLean he needed to pay the the beverage before continuing to consume it. A short time later Mr McLean left the store without attempting to pay for it, and was apprehended outside.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Sumatran tiger with cub

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Crew flies Boeing’s new 747 from Seattle to Pittsburgh… for sandwiches: “The flight crew testing a next-generation Boeing jumbo jet made a long trip for a taste of Pittsburgh’s most famous sandwich. The Seattle-based crew manning a new $300million 747-8 Freighter jet made the 2,500-mile test flight from outside Seattle to western Pennsylvania for a Primanti Bros sandwich. The jet made the eight-hour flight east as the aircraft maker wraps up reliability testing with a series of cross-country flights. The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reports flight test director Paul Shank handed out Pittsburgh’s famous Primanti Brothers menus during a briefing on Wednesday. The crew boarded and set course for the city and arranged for Pittsburgh International-based Atlantic Aviation to pick up an order of the restaurant’s signature fry-and-slaw-filled sandwiches in time for their arrival.”

When the shark did the jumping: “The phrase ‘jump the shark’ was first used to describe a moment where something once great has reached a point where it can only get worse. But for one gob-smacked surfer in waters off New Smyrna Beach in Florida, it was something he’ll remember forever after a shark jumped him. An incredible video by award-winning photographer Jacob Langston was captured of a 4ft spinner shark jumping over the surfer. Mr Langston caught the moment on a GoPRo HD camera when he was chest deep in inlet waters, reported the Orlando Sentinel. But he was not anticipating it as his focus was actually on the foreground and he did not see the moment while he was filming. A surfer reportedly asked him after it happened: ‘Dude! Did you see that? A four-foot spinner shark just jumped over a surfer.’” [Video at link]

Naughty statue: “It’s been around for 500 years but now the manhood on Michelangelo’s David has upset the sensitivities of Leicestershire council. When a couple put up a replica of the nude statue outside their home a killjoy council told them to move it – because it was causing offence. Although thousands see the 16th century artwork in Florence, Italy, every year, officials in Stamford swooped within days when Clive and Joan Burgess put their replica up. The couple, who live in a warden-controlled sheltered accommodation complex, were told their neighbours had complained. Now they have hidden the statue, behind a shrub and a patio set in the garden of neighbour Sue Cullen. They said they are shocked the statue has created such a stir. Mr Burgess, 71, added: ‘It is a timeless piece of art.'”

Freaky statues: “They may be designed to keep schoolchildren safer – but these spooky bollards seem likely to scare them out of their wits as well. When parents were asked about installing the 3ft bollards to slow traffic outside Compton primary school in Plymouth, one said: ‘They look hideous, like something out of Doctor Who.’ Another reaction, this time on Facebook, read: ‘Looks like a remake of Village of the Damned. Don’t look them in the eye or one’s 4×4 will burst into flames.’ The three-foot high bollards had been planned to be placed by the side of the road. The idea was mentioned in a newsletter which went to parents of pupils at the school. But some were so stunned they compared the stony-faced bollards, which cost £350 each, to sci-fi horror props. Plymouth City Council said: ‘In recent discussions with the school it has been agreed that action to stop inconsiderate parking on pavements is a priority.

Hundred-foot sink hole opens up on beach: “A massive sink hole is swallowing up the beach at Inskip, north of Tin Can Bay. Campers have told The Courier-Mail the hole, which appeared about 11am, could be up to 100 feet deep. “This has the potential to take the tip of Inskip Point with it – this is huge and on a scale I’ve never seen before,” he said. “People are bringing chairs and sitting back to watch it in awe. “This is absolutely amazing – it’s almost at the tree line now.” “It’s three times bigger than it was an hour ago,” he said. “Chunks are falling out of the beach into nowhere. Where is the sand going? It’s just incredible.” Gympie police duty officer Sergeant Vic Tipman said sink holes – which swallowed portions of beach as big as houses – were common at Inskip. “The sand just erodes from underneath the current and all of a sudden half the beach disappears. “You’ve got to be careful driving up there.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

More bodypaint

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Restaurant critic jailed: “A scathing review led to a Taiwanese blogger being sent to prison and ordered to pay compensation to the restaurant she criticised. The Taichung branch of Taiwan High Court on Tuesday sentenced the blogger, surnamed Liu, to 30 days in detention and two years of probation and handover NT$200,000 [$7,000] for her harsh review of the ‘salty beef noodles’. The blogger writes about a variety of topics, giving her opinion on food, health and interior design, and has received more than 60,000 hits on her website. After visiting a Taichung beef noodle restaurant in July 2008, where she had dried noodles and side dishes, Liu wrote that the restaurant served food that was too salty, the place was unsanitary because there were cockroaches and that the owner was a ‘bully’ because he let customers park their cars haphazardly, leading to traffic jams, according to the Taipei Times.”

Intimate piercing leads to red card for footballer: “A player in Melbourne who was left in agony after the ball struck his groin was sent off when the referee spotted he had an intimate piercing. Aaron Eccleston, playing for Old Hill Wanderers against Swinburne University reserves, was shown a second yellow card for the offence in the first half of the match. The Sydney Morning Herald reported that the incident happened while Eccleston was sprawling on the grass in pain. According to an opponent, when the player instinctively lowered his shorts to “check that it was still there”, the referee spotted the piercing – and when Eccleston refused to remove it, he was dismissed. The laws of the game forbid players from wearing items, including jewellery, that are “dangerous to himself or another player”.”

Man flu really does exist: “It has long been a stain on male pride. When there are viruses in the air, women plough on regardless while men flee to their sick beds at the first sign of a sniffle. But, according to a study, the fairer sex should not be so quick to accuse their partners of suffering from “man flu”, because women are far better at resisting bugs. Australian researchers found that female volunteers had a “much stronger immune response” to rhinoviruses — the bugs that usually cause the common cold — than men. The protection vanished after the menopause, suggesting it was regulated by female sex hormones. This would help explain why men are much more likely to fall ill when they get infected. Prof John Upham, of the University of Queensland, said: “It makes sense from a biological point of view because women are more likely to ensure the survival of the species.” The findings should come as some comfort to those men who feel falsely accused of having a bout of “man ‘flu” when they are, in fact, suffering for real.”

US grounds all its topline F-22 fighter jets: “The US Air Force has grounded its entire fleet of F-22 fighters, the most sophisticated combat aircraft in the world, after problems emerged with the plane’s oxygen supply, officials said. The radar-evading F-22 Raptors have been barred from flying since May 3 and Air Force officials could not say when the planes would return to the air. The Air Force was probing possible breakdowns in the oxygen supply system for the plane after several pilots reported problems, according to the journal Flight Global. In one case, an F-22 scraped tree tops before landing and the pilot could not remember the incident, indicating a possible symptom of hypoxia from a lack of air, the magazine reported. Since January, F-22 pilots have been barred from flying above 25,000 feet (7600 metres), following the crash of a Raptor jet in Alaska during a training flight. Grounding an entire fleet of aircraft is a rare step, officials said.” [Good there’s only little wars on]

Australian worker falls down stairs at home; Boss responsible: “Employer groups are outraged by a legal decision that makes employers responsible for injuries suffered by staff working from home. Telstra will be made to pay legal and medical costs in a multimillion-dollar ruling by the Administrative Appeals Tribunal. Telstra worker Dale Hargreaves, 42, said she slipped down the stairs twice. Telstra denied liability because the falls occurred outside Ms Hargreaves designated workstation. But the tribunal found the shoulder injuries she suffered were work-related.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

The funniest wreck of the year?

Original story here

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Taiwan man fined over flopped apocalypse: “A self-styled Taiwanese “prophet” was convicted of “spreading rumours” when he said a monster earthquake would destroy the island last month and fined $1380, a court said. Wang Chao-hung, better known as “Teacher Wang”, stirred up a media frenzy after he “predicted” a giant quake and tsunami would hit Taiwan on May 11, urging people to move into makeshift shelters converted from cargo containers. He may face additional fraud charges as prosecutors are investigating claims that he might have cooperated with container businesses to set up a shelter village in Nantou.”

Toddler in pyjamas travels 24 MILES from Wales to England alone after crawling onto bus: “A toddler in a nappy [diapers] and pyjamas crawled onto a bus all by himself and travelled 24 miles from Wales to England. It was only when the bus reached its final stop at Shrewsbury, Shropshire, that the driver and passengers realised the child was alone. Police have confirmed that the two-year-old boy made the 50-minute journey from the border town of Montgomery, Powys, on Monday. He boarded the bus unnoticed, sat on the back seat and apparently showed no signs of distress. ‘Everyone on the bus naturally assumed the child’s parents were on the bus and didn’t make any comment about the child sitting on the back seat among a small group of teenagers. It wasn’t until the bus pulled up at Shrewsbury bus station that people started to realise the toddler was without his parents.”

Is this Britain’s daftest thief? Shoplifter arrives in court – wearing the coat he is accused of stealing: “A man accused of stealing a top brand of coat from a sports shop appeared in front of a judge wearing the item he had shoplifted. Stephen Kirkbride, 46, arrived in court wearing the £125 Craghopper waterproof, leaving witnesses in court speechless. Staff called to give evidence for the prosecution recognised the coat as the one he had stolen from the town’s Sports Direct shop when he left it on a chair in the court, and alerted police. Kirkbride was ordered to surrender the coat when he appeared at South Lakeland Magistrates’ Court, Kendal. Kirkbride’s defence solicitor Judith Birkett said her client ‘wouldn’t be so stupid’ as to turn up in stolen goods, but Kendal magistrate Jenny Farmer found him guilty of shoplifting.”

Rise of the supersize beach towel: “It’s a problem familiar to anyone who’s sat on a packed beach – how to maximise your personal space. Now some holidaymakers have found a new way to gain an advantage – supersize towels. Stores are reporting a huge surge in sales of beach towels which are 65 per cent larger than traditional ones. The supersize towels measure 70in by 35in and cost up to £20. Michelle Dowdall, a spokesman for department store Debenhams, said a pair of the new-style towels would block off more space than three normal-sized towels, if positioned side by side. She said: ‘We’re calling it the “Churchill Factor”. British tourists have never forgotten his war-time rallying call. ‘They are more determined than ever to “fight them on the beaches,””

Bible wisdom vindicated: “A father-of-two today told how he almost died after eating an under-cooked pork chop. Darren Ashall, a plant operator from Chorley, Lancashire, in the UK developed a potentially lethal brain bug that has left him in hospital for nearly five months. See the photos The 46-year-old cannot walk and still struggles to communicate. However, doctors told him he is lucky to be alive after listeria meningitis attacked his immune system and left an abscess on his brain. He first fell ill after cooking two pork chops on a caravan stove while working away from home in Birmingham. He said: “I thought one of the chops wasn’t cooked properly. I regretted eating it straight away. I knew it was a mistake.” [See Deuteronomy 14:8]

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

More quickies

Two friends are fishing near a bridge.

Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head.

When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing.

His friend turns to him and says, ” Dave, that’s one of the nicest most respectful things I’ve ever seen ”

Dave replies, “Well we were married for nearly 20 years ”

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Man calls 999 and says “I think my wife is dead”

The operator says how do you know? He says “The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!

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Spent £40 on ebay last week for a p*nis enlarger. Just opened it and some bastard’s sent me a magnifying glass!

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I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!
At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Library book returned 122 years late: “Staff at an Australia library have been stunned after first edition copy of Charles Darwin’s Insectivorous Plants book was returned 122 years late. A stamp inside the first edition copy showed that the book had been borrowed more than a century ago, on January 30, 1889. Investigations have found that the book had been in a private collection for 50 years before being handed to a local university, whose employees passed it back to the library. Staff at the Camden Library in Sydney’s southwest have estimated that the late fees for the book were about $35,000 (£22,800). Linda Campbell, the library’s manager of community services, said it was wonderful to have the book back. Miss Campbell said the book would not attract a fine because it was the library’s “fine amnesty month”, when borrowers could bring back late books in exchange for a donation to charity. However, the book would never be lent out again, she said.”

Child’s whine is the most annoying and distracting sound: “The sound of fingernails on a blackboard, people having loud conversations on mobile phones in public – the list of things that annoy us is extensive. But the sound of a child whining is the most irritating in the world to adults, scientists say. A study found that a whining kid is the most effective way of distracting people carrying out elementary cognitive tasks. Participants who were asked to do simple subtraction while listening to a range of noises – including machine noise and infant cries – made more mistakes and completed fewer problems while listening to a whining child.”

Creative: Chinese movie extras pose as security guards to fool protesters: “CHINESE officials hired 200 movie extras to pose as security guards in a bizarre bid to thwart protests at a construction site. Aspiring thespians who had gathered outside a Beijing film studio in the hope of appearing in film background scenes were instead handed camouflage fatigues and told to prepare for a new role – that of a security guard, the Shanghai Daily said. They were then taken by bus to a construction site for a new subway station and instructed to mingle with genuine guards, giving the impression the security detail was far larger than it really was. The actors were each paid 60 yuan ($9.28) for the “performance”, which helped scare off local villagers, who were angry about the compensation paid to them for their land.”

Female gropers in Australia’s wild North: “Two female promo models gave guests more than they bargained for at a corporate golf day in Darwin. The models drew complaints for allegedly making inappropriate sexual advances, the Northern Territory News reported. Guests at the event in Darwin, said they were groped by the models and also accused them of making crude remarks and flashing their breasts. “I was extremely uncomfortable,” one guest said, with another adding, “I think it was all meant to be in good fun but they went way too far.” The models had been hired to promote Darwin Life magazine, with publisher and editor Leasel Avila saying she had received nothing but funny and positive feedback.”

Australians happy on $80,000 a year: “The jury may still be out on whether $150,000 makes you rich – but now new research suggests families can at least be “satisfied” with less than $80,000. The Australian reports data from the latest Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia survey shows $78,543 is the point at which a couple with one child is more likely to be satisfied with their finances than not. The figure is slightly lower for couples with two children ($77,263). For a lone parent with two children it is $71,813, according to the Families, Income and Jobs to be published today. It’s worth noting the survey results are from 2007-08, and HILDA deputy director Roger Wilkins says they show people aren’t necessarily wildly happy on $80,000 a year; it’s more that they are “reasonably satisfied” with their finances.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Some quickies

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning. Can you believe that 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don’t get an erection, please don’t get an erection… but she did.

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death!

Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

Paddy says “Mick, I’m thinking of buying a labrador.” “f*ck that” says Mick: “have you seen how many of their owners go blind”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Clever cow: “A farmer has been forced to beef up the security in his cowshed after an unusually smart heifer found a way for her and her friends to escape. Daisy the cow, from a farm in Co Armagh, Northern Ireland, has learned the trick to unbolting the gate to her pen with her tongue. She deftly and accurately unfastens both bolts, allowing her and her bovine buddies access to the verdant fields outside for breakfast. Farmer Tom Grant was left scratching his head after he found his cattle out munching grass in the morning, despite locking them up the night before. He initially suspected cattle rustlers so, with the help of his brother, Vincent, Mr Brown set up a hidden camera to get to the bottom of the cattle conundrum. After viewing the footage, both Mr Grant and his brother were amazed to see what their cow had learned to do. ‘People have the impression that a cow is a dumb animal, but as you can see from the footage, it’s far from dumb”

Doggy smile: “The traditional method of displaying doggy happiness is a wag of the tail. But this pooch seems to have picked up a few traits from humankind. Perhaps it was a particularly satisfying game of fetch, or a productive rummage in the kitchen bin, but his elation was just too much to contain with a straight face…and at his owner’s prompt he broke into a broad grin. The Scooby Doo-style smile has become an internet sensation, with thousands of users sharing the photograph on Facebook and Twitter. While the identity of the pet and owner have been lost in cyberspace, they appear to add weight to the adage that dogs and their owners begin to look alike over time.”

Meet the workers building a 1m-wide wooden road on a vertical cliff face: “While some people would find it unbearable to go anywhere near the edge of a cliff, these Chinese workers are building a plank road on the face of one that’s thousands of metres high. The road they’re assembling is on Shifou Mountain in Hunan Province and stands vertical at 90 degrees without any slopes or alcoves. What’s more, the road is just 1m (3.2ft) wide – the width of a dinner table – and the workers, from China’s eastern Jiangxi Province, toil away on it with the bare minimum of safety measures. The scene is a terrifying one for those from health and safety conscious nations such as ours. The planks look distinctly thin and rickety and a fall to certain death is just centimetres away – but the workers toil away fearlessly every day. The finished road will stretch for three kilometres (1.8 miles), making it China’s longest sightseeing plank. The question that many people will be asking is: Who will be brave enough to walk around it once it’s finished?

Deadly dishwashers: “Dishwashers are a breeding ground for potentially killer bugs, say scientists. The moist and hot environment serves as a perfect habitat for two types of dangerous fungi which can also be found in other kitchen appliances such as washing machines and coffee machines. Researchers found 62 per cent of dishwashers contained the fungi Exophiala dermatitidis and E. phaeomuriformis on the rubber band in the door. Both of the black yeasts are known to be dangerous to human health. Both Exophiala species displayed remarkable tolerance to heat, high salt concentrations, aggressive detergents and to both acid and alkaline water. This explains why the fungi survived even in high temperatures between 60 to 80C and despite the use of detergents and salt in the dishwasher. Researchers say that this is a combination of extreme properties not previously observed in fungi. Exophiala dermatitidis is frequently encountered as an agent of human disease”

Hunter turned photographer: “As it majestically swoops down to capture its scorpion prey this incredible picture shows the sheer power and stealth of this bloodthirsty bat. Celebrated U.S. photographer Tom Whetten, 64, spends hours each night working in his ‘studio in the wild’ patiently waiting for the perfect moment to capture these creatures of darkness. Using skills he has picked up while hunting other animals he painstakingly plans each of his shots to get the perfect wildlife picture. Mr Whetten has developed his own stealthy system using four flashes and a laser beam, which triggers a camera and flash guns when broken by one of the bats.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

A blast from the past

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Don’t spam in Japan: Law against ‘viruses’ and spam emails carries up to three years jail time: “It’s one of the most annoying things about the internet – hundreds of emails from bizarre companies flooding inboxes. But now officials in Japan have banned spam in a desperate bid to crackdown on the practice. The country has been flooded with cyberattacks on a series of government offices, corporations and individuals in recent years. Authorities have struggled to tackle the growing problem without any concrete law allowing them to track down offenders. The new law criminalising the creation or distribution of computer viruses and spam emails was passed in Japanese parliament last Friday. Distributing a computer virus now could now carry a three year jail sentence or a fine of in prison or 500,000 yen (£3,850) in fines.”

Hitler’s drinking glasses set to fetch up to £8,000 at auction: “They are emblazoned with swastikas and etched with Hitler’s initials, so it’s hard to imagine these glasses being used at any dinner party you would want to attend. But for collectors of Nazi memorabilia, taste is rarely an issue – and the set of four wine goblets believed to have belonged to the Nazi leader are expected to fetch up to £8,000 at auction today. The glasses also feature the eagle symbol of the regime. Jonathan Humbert, of J P Humbert auctioneers in Towcester, Northamptonshire, said: ‘There is every chance that Adolf Hitler himself sipped from these glasses. ‘The late owner’s son told me his father only dealt in the finest military collectables and it was his understanding that this glassware came from Hitler’s Berlin bunker. ‘It was well known that Hitler had a valet in his bunker, and he dined alone most evenings, using the finest silver and glassware.’ The same collector owned one of Hitler’s swords, he said.”

Cat burglar: “He’s been caught stealing hundreds of items from homes, so you’d have thought police would have locked up this prolific burglar by now. But the strange thing about Dusty is not that he’s only aged five years old. It’s that he’s a cat. The feline from San Mateo, California, has stolen gloves, towels, shoes and many other items from households since owner Jean Chu adopted him from the Humane Society. Dusty has a special love for swimsuits – and neighbour Kelly McLellan says he stole her bikini on two separate trips. She said he appeared focused on keeping the ensemble. Experts say Dusty’s predatory instincts have gone astray, leaving him hunting for other people’s items. Neighbours were mystified for years as their possessions went missing and had feared they were being targeted by a real criminal.”

Sheep stuck on roof of house: “This is the bizarre moment two fire engines were called to rescue a sheep – which was stuck on the roof of a house. Stunned residents dialled 999 after the creature was spotted scrambling across roof tiles in the remote village of Pontycymer, South Wales. A team from Bridgend Fire and Rescue Service took 40 minutes to bring the animal down from the terraced row using a Large Animal Rescue appliance. A spokesman for Bridgend Fire and Rescue Service said the sheep had got on to the roof by climbing up from a garage at the rear of the terrace. ‘It was running back and forward on the roof, but eventually it must have realised how many firefighters were there trying to get it down. So it thought, I’d better come down now. The spokesman added that the sheep was fine and had not been harmed by its adventure.”

Popular hospital doggie: “There’s something special about Chase. Just ask the hundreds of Wesley Hospital patients who have stayed at the nearby Chasely Apartments with the two-year-old “moodle”, or Maltese-poodle cross. Manager Maria Wyeth said snow-white canine had something of a “sixth-sense”, an uncanny knack of brightening the days of sick guests. “It’s amazing he knows guests not to touch, he knows who is sick, he knows not to jump up on them,” she said. “You see their faces after a long day in the hospital, the first thing they do is they look around for him and their faces just light up. “He makes a connection with them too, we get a lot of repeat guests and it’s like he knows when they’re coming, he runs around all excited, then, 10 minutes later, they pull into the driveway.” Mrs Wyeth said the joy of Chase’s presence stays with guests, who sometimes travel from interstate. “He is totally spoilt and at Christmas time people send him toys, parcels and hampers – he gets more than we do, that’s for sure.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.