Wicked Thoughts

SOUTHERN LOGIC

Florida

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding- -a reason I’ve never before heard — I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused then said: “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

“Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper.

Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, “Y’all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everthang but my earrings.

Louisiana

A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying … “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .”

When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Louisiana ’cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world.”

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”

Bubba replied, “Did y’all see who it was?”

The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, “I got a flat tahr.”

The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”

The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.”

Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, “Got any ID?”

The driver replied, “Bout whut?”

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”

“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ’cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’ ”

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Y’all kin say whut y’all want ‘about the South,
but y’all never heard o’ nobody retirin’ an’ movin’ North.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Kangaroo attack on jogger: “A QUEENSLAND man has survived a terrifying attack by an eastern grey kangaroo, delivering a knockout punch to the rogue animal’s face. Mr Young, 24, was jogging in a paddock near Everdell Park at Gleneagle when the roo squared up against him and landed a swift kick to his stomach. “I was running along when I spotted a buck and a doe with her joey on the other side of the fence,” he said. “She looked friendly enough so I didn’t give it much thought but then she hopped in my path and came at me, growling and hissing. Mr Young said the eastern grey “stood about a foot shorter” than his 180cm. When the cranky roo rocked back on to her tail, ready to strike with her powerful hind legs, he grabbed her by her front paws and tried to push her away, but she kicked out. The first kick connected with his stomach. The second missed, with the roo’s claw catching on his singlet. Mr Young said he threw the big grey to the ground but she managed to get back up for round two. “She was lashing out at me so I punched her between the nose and eyes and ran to a nearby house,” he said. Mr Young escaped with just a few scratches”

Drunk businessman tried giving fellow airline passengers €50 banknotes before eating mobile phone Sim card: “A drunk businessman started handing passengers €50 notes during a flight before breaking up a mobile phone Sim card and eating it. Leon Quarless, who had been drinking before boarding the flight from Palma to Blackpool, also dished out sterling from a bag containing thousands in both currencies. But when people refused to accept the notes, the 45-year-old from Formby, Liverpool, started shouting and swearing. Cabin crew alerted the pilot who radioed ahead to police. Quarless was arrested and escorted from the aircraft when it landed. Once in the departure lounge Quarless then broke up a Sim card and ate it.”

Was Columbus really from Ibiza?: “Christopher Columbus was from Ibiza, politicians on the Spanish party isle have claimed. The bizarre theory, which they admit they cannot categorically prove, is based largely on the fact that the fabled 15th century explorer had the same handwriting as Ibizans of the time. And now, politicians have vowed to re-brand the island – better known for booze-cruise Brits, all-night clubbing and hard-core house music – as the home of America’s discoverer. That is despite them acknowledging that they cannot prove the theory, espoused by self-styled investigative journalist Nito Verdera, is 100 per cent accurate. They also admit they truly cannot verify whether Columbus was born on the island, or even if he lived there for any period of time whatsoever. The claim has been met with widespread scepticism, with many taking to Twitter to say it is simply a publicity stunt to attract tourists to Ibiza’s cash-strapped holiday resorts.”

White elephants in Spain: “The gleaming metal-clad airport terminal has yet to have a single passenger pass through its doors. Weeds are poking up through the 3,000 yards of virgin runway and above it a shiny new air traffic control centre towers over fruit and olive groves. This is Castellon Airport in Spain’s eastern Valencia region. Eighteen months after it was inaugurated with a price tag of 150 million euros (£130 million) and with no prospect of a commercial flight, it has come to epitomise the vast public overspend that has brought Spain to the brink of seeking a full bailout from Europe. Everywhere you look, there are examples of these expensive white elephants that have left Valencia one of the most indebted regions in Spain and the first to go cap-in-hand to Madrid.:

Nightmarish animal: “A macro photo of a waterbear on moss. Tardigrades, commonly known as waterbears or moss piglets, are water-dwelling, segmented creatures with eight legs and measuring just 1mm in length. They are found throughout the world, including regions of extreme temperature, such as hot springs. They can survive extreme pressure, such as deep underwater. They can also survive high levels of radiation and can live in the vacuum of space for several days.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Sarcasm?

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Britain not so queer after all: “Only one in every 66 people say they are gay or bisexual, a nationwide survey revealed yesterday. The numbers are in contrast with the decades-old and widely accepted 10 per cent figure for the gay population, and the 6 per cent estimate used by Whitehall when civil partnership legislation was drawn up in 2003. The Office of National Statistics survey found that 1.5 per cent of men say they are gay, 0.7 per cent of women say they are lesbian, and 0.4 per cent of people identify themselves as bisexual. The scale of the gay population – a subject of deep sensitivity among both gay rights groups and their opponents – has remained virtually unchanged since the ONS began large-scale surveys three years ago. But the Stonewall pressure group said the ONS’s survey methods were ‘inefficient’ and that the 6 per cent level remained a ‘sensible estimate’.”

Orangutan doesn’t like baths: “As generations of parents will gladly testify, bath time often turns into a battleground when toddlers are involved. And as these adorable pictures show, it’s not just human babies who get all steamed up when it’s time to take a dip. Two-year-old Mr Bernie — one of 330 orphaned apes at the Orangutan Care Centre and Quarantine in Borneo — will do just about anything to avoid taking a plunge. With four strong hands able to firmly grasp the sides of the bath, getting him into the warm, soapy water can be a soggy struggle. In the wild, orangutans usually shy away from water, preferring to keep themselves and their babies clean through picking out bugs and dirt with their long fingers. But at the orphanage there are no ape mums to help out…. He was brought to the orphanage in July 2010. A spokesman from the centre said: ‘He was a scrawny, scared little thing with hair matted from sticky sap. After a long bath, some motherly attention, and countless bananas, Mr Bernie started thriving in his new home. He is now strong, healthy and handsome.’”

Britain now producing MORE cars than Germany (mostly Japanese designs): “Despite the British car-making industry reaching the brink of collapse just a few years ago, the automobile industry has made a startling come back. Mini, Jaguar and Range Rover are all on the rise after £6billion of mostly private funds have been ploughed into improving factories and research into new models. A report published this week revealed that rising exports to new markets such as Russia and China will boost the number of cars built in British factories this year by around nine per cent. Eight out of 10 cars currently built in the Britain end up on foreign roads as British-made cars are now sold in more than 170 countries. And for the first time the UK is making more money from exporting cars than it spends on importing them. Jaguar Land Rover has recorded its highest ever annual sales last year with a 76 per cent growth in China.”

Church of England gets even more “modern”: “With the commercial clamour of Christmas growing louder over the years, Christians have often despaired of the true spiritual message of the Nativity being heard. But a Church of England-backed campaign to raise awareness of Jesus Christ – by portraying him as a toy doll – seems to be trying to spread the word just a little too hard. It has even led some worshippers to brand it as ‘tacky’ and ‘blasphemous’. The poster for the fictional ‘Godbaby’ doll imitates a conventional toy advert and features the slogan: ‘He cries. He wees. He saves the world.’ The image is to be emblazoned on bus stops, advertising hoardings and in newspapers in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Another poster of the Godbaby carries the slogan: ‘The Gift that Loves You Back.’ Church leaders admit the controversial campaign by Christian media group ChurchAds.net, previously known as the Churches Advertising Network, will not be to everyone’s taste, but hope it will make the Christmas story appeal to the younger generation. [Maybe people should demonstrate and chant: “Behead the Archbishop of Canterbury”]

What your eggs say about you: “Poached, scrambled, boiled or fried. We all have our preference for how to cook an egg. But the choice reveals more than just our culinary tastes – it also highlights our personalities and reveals secrets about social class and even sex drive. Scientists quizzed 1,010 adults and found that poached egg eaters are outgoing, boiled egg lovers are disorganised, fried egg fans have a high sex drive, scrambled egg aficionados are guarded and omelette eaters are self-disciplined…. It found that the average poached egg-eater is likely to be happier than most. Boiled egg-eaters run the greatest risk of getting divorced. Fried egg fans are usually from the skilled working class and scrambled eggs are favoured by those without children.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Modern times

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Woman behind bars after police found her children and dog in the boot – and her snowboard and guitar on the back seat: “The New York Daily News reports the 28-year-old driver, Anna Boyle, of Washington state, appeared “very nervous” after she was pulled over by police. It was soon clear why. The officers at the scene reportedly heard a “thumping sound” from the boot of the small Nissan sedan, and allegedly found three small children – Boyle’s daughter, aged eight, and two sons, aged seven and five – and their canine companion in the boot of the car. On the backseat where the children should have been was a guitar, backpack and snowboard, along with rubbish and several pairs of shoes. Boyle and her fiancé were in the front seats of the car. Police found evidence of hard drugs inside the car, including methamphetamine, heroin, prescription pills and other paraphernalia. The statement claimed the children hadn’t eaten since the night before. They were taken to McDonalds before the state’s child protection services took the kids into custody. Boyle and her fiancé were arrested on drugs charges”

Boffins on trial over bad prediction: “Prosecutors in Italy have called for a group of scientists to be jailed for four years each for allegedly failing to give adequate warning of the L’Aquila earthquake in 2009, which killed 309 people and injured hundreds. The manslaughter trial of the seven experts has proved immensely controversial, with the international scientific community saying earthquakes cannot be predicted and that the experts are being made scapegoats for an unforeseen natural disaster. Critics say that, by playing down the risks, the scientists consigned hundreds of people to their deaths when the quake struck at 3.32am on April 6, 2009, reducing to dust centuries-old buildings as well as modern apartment blocks. Prosecutors accused the experts of offering ”an incomplete, inept, unsuitable and criminally mistaken analysis” of the dozens of tremors that rattled the city before the 6.3 magnitude quake.”

‘The most perfect place in the world’ belongs to Australia: “Lee Abbamonte is a New Yorker in a bigger hurry than most. The 34-year-old is the youngest American to visit every country in the world. Along the way, the former Wall Street finance executive has ducked gunfire in Libya and raced camels along the beach in Kenya (he finished third). But of all the places he has visited, it is Australia’s own Lord Howe Island he nominates as “paradise on Earth”. Writing for Conde Naste recently, he said: “I don’t know what paradise awaits in the next life, but I do know that paradise on Earth is located on Lord Howe Island. It is quite possibly the most perfect place in the world. Unspoiled and empty beautiful beaches dot the island and entice divers, surfers and romantics alike. It is breathtaking.”

Huge Chinese tricycle: “If you thought the era of the Penny Farthing was long gone, think again. This cyber punk version of the Victorian favourite brings the design right up to the present day. Made by hand by Li Lianzhi, this huge bicycle has taken the concept of the high wheeler of the late 19th Century and given it a new lease of life. At about 2.7m long and nearly 2m high, Mr Li’s bike is certain to turn heads in his home town of Guilin. But is it practical? The bicycle is so tall it even needs an integral step so Mr Li can reach the saddle. However, it may not be the easiest vehicle to navigate around Guilin’s hills and humid climate; to balance the bicycle, Mr Li injected 100kg of water into the front wheel, so the bicycle weighs nearly 400kg.”

Fake Bugatti sells for £270,000: “A ‘Bugatti’ which lay forgotten in a dilapidated garage for nine years has been sold for £270,000 – nearly three times the amount it had been expected to fetch. It had been owned by engineer Alan Riley who bought the car in 1987 and was convinced it was a real Grand Prix-winning Bugatti Type 51 worth up to £2million. He believed the car was the Bugatti that won the 1931 Casablanca Grand Prix, driven by Count Stanislas Czaykowski. But when he died earlier this year after a long illness the UK’s leading Bugatti expert David Sewell was brought in to establish the car’s true provenance. determined it is almost certainly a very skilfully executed replica, although it may contain parts of the Czaykowski car. It was probably made in the early 1980s by a character called Keith Butti of Upminster who has since become notorious for making a number of very convincing replica Bugattis using a mixture of genuine and reproduction parts.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

What big tires you’ve got!

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Australia to get “youthful” banknotes: “THE Reserve Bank of Australia has been working on creating new, “youthful”-looking bank notes for the past five years, it’s been reported. The project, called Next Generation Bank Note, is more than two years behind schedule and has so far cost $9.3 million, The Australian reports. Designers have been supplied with new portraits of the notes’ subjects and asked to capture Australian characteristics with “youthful” and “energetic design qualities”, it says. A bank spokesman has confirmed the project, saying it was taking place to ensure Australia maintained its “relatively low levels of counterfeiting”. The notes would include new security features but retain most of the existing design elements including colour, size and their current portraits, the spokesman said.”

$62m to marry my daughter: tycoon offers bounty for man to woo lesbian daughter: “One of Hong Kong’s richest men has offered a reward of nearly £40 million ($62.4 million) to the man who can woo his lesbian daughter. Cecil Chao Sze-tsung, a property magnate, announced the HK$50 million bounty this week after reports that his daughter Gigi Chao, 33, a University of Manchester graduate, married her long-term girlfriend in France. Mr Chao also told the South China Morning Post that reports of his daughter’s marriage were “false”. The tycoon said he hoped to help the successful suitor could start a business. The reward was “an inducement to attract someone who has the talent but not the capital to start his own business”. “Gigi is a very good woman with both talents and looks,” the doting father said. “She is devoted to her parents, is generous and does volunteer work.” The Facebook profile of Miss Chao, an architecture graduate, reads: “Helicopter pilot. Social entrepreneur. Creator of expressions in colour and emotion.”

Squid from hell “The 13-centimetre cephalopod lives in temperate and tropical oceans, inhabiting waters at depths between roughly 600 and 900 metres, a niche habitat where at the lowest levels there is just enough oxygen to support life. It uses huge 2.5-centimetre eyes to detect the slightest gleam of movement, and deploys dark-blue bioluminescence to cloak its jelly-like body from predators below when it drifts at higher depths. Unlike its latter-day cousins, the vampire squad does not tuck into living prey, they say. Instead, examination of the squid’s digestive tract, faeces and regurgitations suggest it is a “detritivore” – it eats the corpses (or what remains of them) of larvae, crustaceans and zooplankton that sink gently to the ocean floor. A bigger puzzle, though, is a feature of the vampire squid’s mouth. It opens up like an umbrella, comprising a web that encompasses eight octopus-like arms, studded with suckers and finger-like spines called cirri. It also has a second pair of arms called retractile filaments that can reach out to lengths that are far bigger than that of the squid itself, and can then be withdrawn into pockets within the web.”

A real low-rider: “It may look like a toy, but this miniature motor is nothing of the sort. Although it measures just 45.2cm (17.79ins) tall, it has as much right to be on the road as any other car, bus or lorry. For Mirai, which means ‘future’ in Japanese, has just entered the Guinness World Records Book 2013 for being the lowest roadworthy car. It was created by students and teachers of The Automobile Engineering Course of Okayama Sanyo High School in Asakuchi, Japan. It runs on six main batteries. The motors and controlling components are from ‘Q-car’, produced by CQ motors in Japan, while the switching console is from a motorbike. The chassis, body, suspension, steering system, lights, seat and all other parts were made at the High School.”

Font on your car’s dashboard could determine if you’re going to crash: “Researchers have warned that the type of font used inside your car can make a difference in your chances of having a crash. With car radios becoming more advanced, and many drivers relying on GPS devices to get them from A to B, we are becoming more reliant on at-a-glance information presented within the cabin. MIT researchers, working at the research university’s Age Lab, compared a range of fonts – and discovered that even subtle differences in fonts could cost you enough reaction time to travel for 50 feet before getting your eyes back to the road. The research team used driving simulators to measure how 82 people, aged between 36 and 75, responded to two different font styles. The researchers used two fonts – both superficially similar – for the study. One was Eurostile, known as a ‘square grotesque’ typeface with small gaps between letters – and curled letters like ‘C’ having small openings. The other typeface was Frutiger, which comes with wider spacings and openings. Women showed little difference between the two fonts – but men could process the messages, such as driving directions, much quicker when Frutiger was used – by an average of 10.6 per cent.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

What are they called again??

A senior moment?

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Bexhill-on-Sea is Britain’s centenarian capital: “Perhaps it is the fresh sea air or the sunshine, but for almost 200 years the residents of Bexhill-on-Sea have been noted for their longevity. Now that reputation has been borne out by official figures, after the first detailed analysis of last year’s census showed that the Sussex resort has more centenarians per head of population than anywhere else in the country. According to a breakdown of returns published yesterday, there are 66 people over the age of 100 in the borough of Rother, which centres on Bexhill. A further 1,722 residents are in their 90s, with almost 7,000 in their 80s out of a total population of 90,600. But Bexhill’s place at the top of the list will some as no surprise to locals. A print hanging in the town’s museum commemorates a special dinner in 1819 attended by 25 gentlemen in their eighties – a unusual feat at the time, with 15 in their 70s waiting at the tables. First settled in Anglo Saxon times, the village was known for its health properties even before it was developed as a coastal resort in the first half of the 19th Century.”

British cop went to investigate ‘suspicious’ light which turned out to be the MOON: “The mysterious silvery light beaming steadily from behind the pitch-dark hills meant only one thing. Trouble. So the police constable who spotted it as he patrolled his beat in the stillness of the night knew he had to investigate. With heart pounding and nerves jangling, he rang his sergeant, warning that he may be needing back-up. Then, he took a deep breath, and made his way into the hills to track down the culprit. But no arrests were made that night. For as the officer discovered, the ‘suspicious’ light turned out to be nothing more than the glare of a full moon. The tale, which unfolded in the Clent Hills in Worcestershire, was reported in this month’s edition of Police magazine, which is distributed by the Police Federation to 132,000 officers across England and Wales.”

Some Russian workmanship: “Bungling workmen accidentally created the world’s most dangerous playground – after digging this massive hole at the bottom of a slide. A team of construction workers excavated the cavern to get to a burst sewer pipe beneath the children’s play area. But they failed to properly rope-off the site, meaning children can still climb up the steps and slide directly into the 10ft-deep hole. The playground, outside apartments in the city of Tolyatti, Central Russia, is still open to the public despite containing the potentially deadly drop.”

Soldier ‘accidentally kills his friend after putting gun to his head to scare away his hiccups’: “In a tragic accident fueled by alcohol and Sunday night football, one man was fatally shot by his friend in the eye in an attempt to scare away the hiccups. Police in Killeen, Texas have confirmed that Specialist Patrick Edward Meyers who is stationed at Fort Hood is being held on manslaughter charges after he pointed his gun at his hiccuping friend’s head and the weapon unexpectedly discharged. The victim, who was also a soldier, but whose name was not immediately released died just after 11 p.m. on Sunday as paramedics attempted to air-lift him to Scott & White Hospital in Temple. Killeen police say the Fort Hood soldiers were enjoying an evening of drinking and watching football when the incident happened just after 10 p.m. on Sunday. Bell County Jail records show Specialist Patrick Edward Myers, 27, of Spartanburg, South Carolina is currently being held on a manslaughter charge with his bond set at $1 million.”

Motorist wipes off speed camera van: “A POLICE officer was rushed to hospital this morning after a passing motorist crashed into a police speed camera van. Emergency services said about 4.35am a car collided with the police van parked at the side of Mt Cotton Rd, Sheldon. An emergency services spokeswoman said the male police officer was taken to the Princess Alexandra Hospital with minor injuries. The driver of the other vehicle was not injured, police said. Police are still at the site of the Mt Cotton Rd crash, directing traffic around the scene, they said.” [I guess he didn’t like getting his picture taken]

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

The wisdom of 1963

Original here

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

102-year-old Brit says key to long life is FIVE roast dinners a week: “Having celebrated his 102nd birthday sprightly Darrell Love has had more hot meals than most. But in revealing his secret to staying fit and healthy it is one in particular that he puts down to long life. That’s because for more than five decades the centenarian has tucked into five roast dinners a week. Fit Darrell can not get enough of chicken roast dinners having eaten one every week day since 1958. Meat, two veg, potatoes, gravy and Yorkshire puddings have been on the menu around 260 times every year meaning Darrell has ploughed through more than 15,000 in total. Darrell, of Plymouth, Devon, began his chicken roast diet in 1958 when he moved into a new house. And although he sticks to the unusual diet on Monday to Friday he does have a bit of variety on the weekends – reserved for fish and chips and soup.” [He sure looks good for 102]

Daredevil man rides his electric tricycle the WRONG WAY along busy Chinese motorway: “It’s certainly a novel way to get through a jam if you’re running late – but don’t try it anytime soon. This man bizarrely decided to ride an electric tricycle against the heavy traffic on an overpass yesterday in Jinan, Shandong province, China. Wearing a pink polo shirt and black trousers, the driver weaved around the other vehicles as motorists tried to get out of his way. A report in the People’s Daily of China said the ‘crazy and dangerous’ escapade saw him change lanes ‘many times’ as other vehicles had to ‘flee’. It’s not yet known if the man, who appeared to be carrying goods on the vehicle, was stopped by local authorities.”

Moment daredevil answers cellphone … 1,000 feet in the air: “Despite precariously balancing above a breathtaking 1,000 foot drop on a narrow highline, the brave Frenchman was happy to answer the badly-timed call and even stopped to chat for twenty minutes. Vertigo free Mr Melet was caught on camera during the dizzying stunt to cross a 20 metre gap between two cliffs, with just a harness around his waist attached to a small rope to keep him safe. Mountaineer photographer Alexandre Buisse looked on in amazement as the professional daredevil crossed the line between two cliffs in the Dalles Grises region of the Verdon Gorges, France, and heard his phone begin to ring. Expecting him to ignore the call, Mr Buisse was stunned to see him calmly stop and chat, even sitting down and admiring the view as he got deep into conversation.”

One way to live to 100: “Researchers in Korea have shown that eunuchs – castrated men living centuries ago – outlived other men by a significant margin. They say their findings suggest that male sex hormones are responsible for shortening the lives of men. The evidence comes after careful study of genealogy records of noble members of the Imperial court of the Korean Chosun dynasty (AD 1392-1910). The castrated boys in Korea lost their reproductive organs in accidents – usually after being bitten by dogs – or underwent castration purposefully to gain early access to the palace. Eunuchs were allowed to marry and had families by adopting castrated boys or normal girls. People in those days kept careful genealogy records as proof that they were of the noble class. By poring over those records, Min and his colleague Cheol-Koo Lee, of Korea University, found that eunuchs lived 14 to 19 years longer than other men did. Amongst the 81 eunuchs they studied, three lived to the ripe old age of 100 or more, a feat of longevity that remains relatively rare even in developed countries today.”

Nice old delivery van for auction: “It’s the van that will be familiar to every committed Corgi collector. The green-painted vehicle advertising the ‘quality carpets’ of C Pearson has got to be the most well-known Ford Model 8 in the country thanks to it’s miniature reproduction. Now motor enthusiasts will have their chance to get their hands on the real thing. The Ford Model 8 Van, still painted in the green business livery it had when it was reproduced by Corgi, will come up for auction at a North Yorkshire classic car garage and motoring museum. Model lovers from all over the world are expected to try their luck in bidding for the van when it goes under the hammer in Thornton-le-Dale, near Pickering. The van is already turning heads and it is expected to fetch between £5,000 and £7,000. ‘They are quite an unusual van in so much as there was quite a lot made but they were not robust vehicles and most of these vehicles would have been scrapped by the time they were ten years old.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

In the marsupium

The marsupium is the pouch in which marsupials carry their young. The mother above is a tree kangaroo, found in Australia and New Guinea

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

New Zealand hospital removes ‘asparagus-sized’ eel from man’s bottom: “A MAN with an eel lodged in his bottom has shown up at a New Zealand emergency department asking for help. The unnamed man presented himself at the Auckland City Hospital for treatment last week, the New Zealand Herald reported. X-rays revealed the eel “about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus,” a hospital source told the newspaper. “The incident is the talk of the place. Doctors and nurses have come across people with strange objects that have got stuck where they shouldn’t before, but an eel has to be a first.” The eel was removed and the man went on his way. The hospital confirmed the story to the newspaper, but revealed no further details in order to protect the man’s privacy. It was not clear how the eel had found its way inside the man.” [Inserting things into their rectums is common among homosexuals]

Teen tried to rob man on Brisbane’s North Quay in full view of police: “A 16-year-old boy was charged after he allegedly tried to steal money from a man walking along a Brisbane footpath overnight, in full view of nearby police. Police said about 1.50am they stepped in to help a 21-year-old man as he walked along a footpath at North Quay, when the teenager allegedly assaulted him. Police said the 16-year-old, from New Beith, south of Brisbane, tried to steal the man’s money and personal belongings. The 21-year-old was treated for cuts and bruises for his hands and face after the incident. The teenager has been charged with attempted robbery, to be dealt with under the provisions of the Youth Justices Act 1992.”

Scientists reveal how bath salts send users crazy for DAYS with ingredient that is ten times stronger than cocaine: “As lethal bath salts continue to take young lives, researchers have discovered the shocking strength of a key ingredient that leaves users struggling with the after effects for days. MDPV, commonly found in the street drug is ten times stronger than cocaine, according to the National Science Foundation. It causes users to become paranoid, violent and agitated, at times leading to hallucinations. But unlike with other drugs, such as cocaine or ecstasy, doctors are noticing a worrying trend of people suffering these symptoms for days after snorting the legal high. ‘They have extreme paranoia. They’re having hallucinations. They see things, they hear things, monsters, demons, aliens.’ One patient high on the substance repeatedly fired guns out of the house at strangers, while another broke all the windows in a house then walked barefoot through the broken glass. A third left her 2-year-old daughter in the middle of a highway because she ‘had demons’.”

Attempted burglar found asleep on floor: “Sheriff’s deputies responding to a burglary call say they found a 20-year-old man asleep on the kitchen floor of a home in Oregon. The Washington County sheriff’s office says the homeowner discovered the sleeping stranger early Friday. Deputies arrived to find Cristian Villarreal-Castillo, who had in his pockets small electronic devices believed to be stolen from unlocked vehicles. Deputies say many items in the home in the Rock Creek neighborhood of Hillsboro had been ransacked in an apparent attempt to find valuables. They believe Villarreal-Castillo entered the home through an unlocked door and was in the process of gathering items when he fell asleep. He is charged with burglary, attempted theft, trespassing and criminal mischief. Investigators also linked him to a burglary that happened a few hours before his arrest.”

41-pound cat named Skinny up for adoption in Texas: “Don’t be fooled by the name: Skinny the cat is one hefty feline. And all 41 pounds of her needs a home. A Dallas-area animal shelter has cared for the 5-year-old orange tabby since getting a call about a stray in a yard about a week ago. Kim Chapin with Richardson Animal Services said Friday that Skinny’s “very sweet” _ and the largest cat she’s seen in 21 years with the shelter. Not surprising. U.S. government growth charts show Skinny weighs about as much as the average 4-year-old child. Chapin says Skinny appears healthy except for being overweight and likely having diabetes. Blood tests have been ordered. Chapin says somebody apparently had been caring for the cat but officials aren’t sure who owned the huge kitty.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Yummy! I’ll have no. 3

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

No thanks for improving Philadelphia neighborhood: “THERE’S a lot of trouble brewing next to a coffee house in a fast-developing neighbourhood. Ori Feibush, a real estate developer, has turned a rubbish-strewn city-owned lot – vacant for roughly 30 years – into a welcoming spot for customers of his month-old corner cafe, where they can enjoy their fair trade organic java and pastries from local bakeries. It may sound like a win-win, but the now-sparkling urban respite has angered city officials. They say Feibush shouldn’t have done work on a lot he doesn’t own or rent, shouldn’t be using taxpayer-owned property to benefit his business and should have played by the rules. Feibush said the city has rebuffed his overtures to buy the 20-by-100-foot lot in Point Breeze, a rowhouse neighbourhood southwest of downtown Philadelphia where he has lived since 2006. So he said he spent at least $US20,000 to remove 40 tons of rubbish and to add planters, tables and landscaping to it.”

World’s first snowmobile: “Back in 1925, this Model T Ford with a crude set of bright blue skis and chains attached was at the forefront of winter travel. It was in 1913 that madcap U.S. inventor Virgil D White hit upon the idea of the ‘Snow Flyer’ kits, which – when attached to a Model T – transformed the popular motor car into the world’s first snowmobile. The inventor sold his kits for around $400 almost a century ago, and now this 1925 example is expected to fetch upwards of £10,000 when it goes under the hammer in Pennsylvania, U.S., next month. At the time the kits – which consisted of skis made of metal and wood and rear-mounted chain link tracks -were particularly popular with country doctors, who used them to battle the elements when visiting patients in rural areas in winter months. Today the souped-up cars are equally in demand among collectors, and there is even a Ford T snowmobile owners’ club.”

There’s still some Viking left in the Swedes: “These dramatic images showed the moment a motorist defied Swedish police – and the calamitous consequences. When the Audi tried to do a U-turn, the police rammed it off the road – causing the car to overturn. The sturdy Volvo, meanwhile, appeared to emerge from the collision unscathed. The police were chasing the Audi which tried to get away by doing a U-turn. As can clearly be seen, the officer wasn’t about to let the chase go on any more and used the nose of the tough Volvo to nudge the target car sideways. But then the officer keeps going and turns the Audi right over. It is understood that nobody was seriously hurt in this dramatic incident, which did wonders for the Volvo’s humdrum image.”

Canadian dentist flies 5,000 miles in quest for Irish beauty: “A lovesick Canadian dentist is aching for the mystery love of his life – and has travelled 5,000 miles to find the Irish woman he met for just two minutes over a year ago. Sandy Crocker is spending the next four weeks searching the country for his red-haired beauty who he briefly met in An Teach Bia café in Ennistymon, County Clare, on July 9, 2011. And though he spoke to her fleetingly, the lovelorn dentist wants to be reunited with the woman he met with his brother. Mr Crocker recalled: ‘We stopped in Ennistymon to grab a bite to eat. I noticed that she was leaving and I spoke to her then. I asked her for directions to the Cliffs of Moher. ‘I was leaving Ireland a day later so, at first, I didn’t see the point in pursuing things more. Back home in Canada, Sandy was unable to get the unknown Irish girl out of his mind. So he decided last month to return to Ireland and spend a month trying to track her down.”

Siberian lake monster?: “LOCALS call it the Devil. They say it lifts up boats and wails when it attacks. Now underwater sonar shows they might be telling the truth. Associate Professor of Biogeography Lyudmila Emeliyanova told The Siberian Times that on her mission to Lake Labynkyr in remote Siberia she recorded ‘several seriously big underwater objects’ with sonar readings. “It was our fourth or fifth day at the lake when our echo sounding device registered a huge object in the water under our boat,” Ms Emeliyanova told The Times.”The object was very dense, of homogeneous structure, surely not a fish nor a shoal of fish, and it was above the bottom. Lake Labynkyr is located 5000 kilometres east of Moscow. It is 60 kilometres away from town of Oymyakon – the coldest place on earth. But while every other lake in the area becomes an ice-skating rink in winter – this lake does not freeze over. Ever. It also has no plant life.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

There are friends, and then there are True Friends

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Apple copied our clock design: Swiss rail: “SWITZERLAND’S national rail company has accused Apple Inc of stealing the iconic look of its station clocks for the iOS 6 operating system used by iPhone and iPad mobile devices. Both designs have a round clock face with black indicators except for the second hand, which is red. A spokesman for the Swiss Federal Railways, or SBB, said the Apple design was “identical” to the one pioneered by the rail company in 1944. We are proud that this icon of clock design is being used by a globally successful company,” Reto Kormann told The Associated Press, but he noted that Apple hadn’t asked for permission before doing so. “We’ve approached Apple and told them that the rights for this clock belong to us,” he said. Kormann said SBB would seek an “amicable agreement” with Apple that could see the clock design used in return for a licence fee.”

Oil painting sold at a golf club auction for £3,700 is identified as worth £20MILLION: “An oil painting bought at a golf club auction for £3,700 is believed to be a long lost work by famous painter JMW Turner worth up to £20million. Convinced the small painting was done by Britain’s most loved painter, art investor Jonathan Weal made sure he had the winning bid at the auction eight years ago. Now historians and scientists are backing up his claim after tests dated the oil on panel to 1805 and a handwriting expert verified the signature on the work was Turner’s. Mr Weal came across the 13in by 10in painting at the auction in Wealden, Kent in 2004 where amazingly it was even catalogued as a Turner, even though it had a reserve price of just £700 to £900. He said: ‘I eventually had to go up to £3,700, four times the estimate, so there must have been some others in the audience who suspected it was seriously valuable.”

Arty book features pert posterior: “Eva Longoria has gone one better and stripped off completely for a new arty coffee-table book Asleep at the Château. The 37-year-old actress is shown lying down with a white bed sheet casually covering her legs while her bare back and rear end face the camera. Her eyes are closed in a ‘sleeping’ pose and her dark hair strewn around the pillow. The star is one of several stars including Orlando Bloom, Justin Theroux and Usher snapped by fashion and beauty photographer Jork Weismann for the book, set at Los Angeles’s legendary hotel The Chateau Marmont. The stars are showed sprawled out in chairs, on couches or across the floor in various states of undress. Despite Eva’s enviable figure, the ex-Desperate Housewives star has had her own struggles with keeping in shape.”

Secret of a happy marriage? Share a bottle of wine: “Alcohol doesn’t get the best of press these days. But researchers say it could be the secret to a happy marriage. Couples who share a bottle of wine at least once a week enjoy marital life far more than those who steer clear of alcohol, they claim. Researchers questioned more than 1,500 couples about their relationships and drinking habits. They found that concordance – where partners have roughly the same amount of alcohol and at the same time – breeds happiness. The authors also discovered that satisfaction with domestic life rose with every occasion partners share a tipple. Women were four times more likely to be happy if they drank at least once a week with their partner than if they never do. Meanwhile, men were more than three times more content. The study, by a team from the University of Otago in New Zealand, stated: ‘A graded association was evident between time spent drinking as a couple and the odds of a couple being happy.”

Pre-peeled bananas?? “A supermarket chain has been forced to apologise after they stacked their shelves with peeled bananas – pre-packaged and wrapped in foil. German-owned Billa, which calls on its own customers to use more common sense when it comes to the environment, was slammed by customers who took to Facebook and Twitter to condemn the move. Many called for a boycott of the supermarket chain, which is owned by the Rewe Group, who were baffled by the unnecessary wastage in the Austrian store. Shoppers first became aware of the wasteful product after the store itself allegedly posted pictured of the product online. According to the Austrian Times staff have moved to distance themselves from the product following the outrage. They also issued an apology which labelled the gaffe a ‘one off’. Despite the apology Facebook users continued to bombard the supermarket moguls own page with abuse.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Turf in Ireland‏

Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf.

Jimmy said, “I’m gonna do dat when I win da lottery.”

”What’s dat den?” asks Mikey.

”Send me lawn away to be mowed.”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Always take a dog with you if you fish in a croc-infested area: “A FISHERMAN watched in horror as his mate’s dog was snatched by a large crocodile at a creek at Kewarra Beach yesterday. Dog owner Ben Woods and his friend Benny Lawton were fishing at Deep Creek, near Kewarra Beach Resort, about 5pm when Angus, a two-year-old border collie cross, was snatched by the crocodile. Mr Lawton, who was earlier cast netting in the same spot, said it was a quick and horrifying attack. “It was just ‘Bang’. It happened in an instant, as quick as you could take a photo,” he said. “At first we thought he (Angus) had just jumped in the water.” The men said there was a swirl of water, followed by the crocodile swimming off with the dog. Mr Lawton said the crocodile was about 3.5m long. “I saw it afterwards, it was at least 12 foot,” he said. “(Angus) was not a little dog, he weighed at least 40-odd kilos [90lb].” [Crocs think dogs are the yummiest]

Clergyman objects to saucy British postcards: “Police were called to a gift shop on a seaside pier after a complaint that the postcards on sale were ‘obscene’ and ‘damaging the image of the town’. Shop owner Ian Donald was stunned when an officer turned up at his store in Eastbourne, East Sussex, and accused him of selling pornography next to buckets and spades. The cheeky postcards, featuring women on the beach displaying their bottoms or breasts, had outraged Ashley Steinschauer, an assistant minister at the local church, but the complaint has left some bemused. Mr Donald has owned his shop on Eastbourne Pier for 25 years and said the light-hearted postcards are popular with all ages and were just part of the ‘seaside tradition’.”

Robber falls to his death: “POLICE believe a man found dead in the backyard of an East Perth unit yesterday afternoon was attempting to burgle the property. Sergeant Gerry Cassidy said the body of the 28-year-old man was found in the backyard of the Jewell Lane property just before 4pm yesterday. He said there was evidence of an attempted burglary at the property. The man, who did not live at the address, had suffered serious head injuries and police believe he fell about seven metres after trying to climb a drainpipe. Officers were called to Jewell Lane at 3.50pm after reports that the body of a male had been discovered. Nine News reported that a woman making a welfare check at the property found the body of a man in the back yard.”

Elderly woman who botched religious fresco demands royalties: “The elderly Spanish woman who ruined a religious fresco with her botched restoration is now demanding royalties from her work after it became an unlikely tourist attraction. Cecilia Gimenez, who is in her 80s, made headlines across the world after attempting a DIY restoration that left the 19th century fresco of Christ at her local church in Borja resembling a monkey. The altered image of Ecce Homo – Behold the Man – became an internet sensation and sent thousands of curious sightseers to the Sanctuario de Misericordia to laugh at her handiwork. Authorities threatened to sue Mrs Gimenez for her unauthorised attempt, which she insisted had been carried out with only good intentions because the painting was in need of repair. But popularity for the modified masterpiece grew with even budget airline Ryanair offering cheap deals to nearby Zaragoza airport encouraging “pilgrims” to visit the work that was quickly dubbed “Ecce Mono” – Behold the Monkey. An internet petition to keep the repair job garnered widespread support and seizing an opportunity to swell its coffers, the church began levying a 4 euro (£3) entrance fee on visitors, earning 2,000 euros in the first four days.”

Crayfish in British ponds nip nudists: “The greatest dangers for bathers using Hampstead Heath’s ponds used to be hypothermia or an encounter with a disgruntled duck. But authorities have been forced to issue a new warning following reports that an invasive breed of crayfish has swamped the open-air pools and begun nipping swimmers in intimate places. It is a particularly sensitive problem in the Men’s Pond, where many bathers prefer to swim in the nude. The culprits are Red Swamp Crayfish, a non-native species known for their aggressive behaviour and long claws. First spotted in the north London park around 20 years ago, they are now multiplying at such a rate that around 5,000 of them are said to be colonising the ponds. For the bathers, the problem is more painful. Peter McCafferty, 43, a regular visitor to the ponds, said: “I have been seeing more and more crayfish being pulled out of the ponds and I am very wary of them. “I’ve had a couple of nips on my toes in the past few months, usually when I stop for a rest and tread water. But some people have been nipped in altogether more sensitive places, which doesn’t bear thinking about.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.