CRANKY ELDER PERSON

August 22, 2016 at 11:30 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.

She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away.

She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.

When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.

The lady defiantly replied, “Just a stupid can of peaches.”

The judge then asked why she had done it.

She replied, “I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store.”
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.

She replied in a nasty tone, “Nine! But why do you care about that?”

The judge answered patiently, “Well, ma’am, because I’m going to give you nine days in jail — one day for each peach.”

As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady’s long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.

The judge said, “Yes sir, what do you have to add?”

The husband said meekly, “Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas.”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Pine named Adonis found growing in Greece is named Europe’s oldest tree as scientists say it was planted more than 1,000 years ago: “It was first planted over a century before the Battle of Hastings on the highlands of northern Greece. And now a Bosnian Pine tree named Adonis has been named as Europe’s oldest tree after growing for more than 1,075 years. The tree was first planted in 941AD – some 87 years before William the Conqueror was even born – and has now been discovered by scientists at Stockholm University and the University of Mainz. Swedish dendrochronologist Dr Paul Krusic who led the expedition said: ‘It is quite remarkable that this large, complex and impressive organism has survived so long in such an inhospitable environment, in a land that has been civilised for over 3,000 years.’ Adonis is one of more than a dozen others which are of millennial age, found in a treeline forest high in the Pindos mountains.

16-year-old ‘protective’ cat named Baby mauls SEVEN pitbulls and hospitalizes a dog walker in vicious attack: “An overprotective cat has unleashed furry fury on seven unsuspecting pitbulls out for a walk. The 16-year-old pet named Baby attacked the feisty dogs as they strolled past the front of the cat’s home on Monday in British Columbia, Canada. Betty Jean Thompson, who owns the stereotype-breaking scratcher, said she tried to warn the walkers not to bring their dogs too close. But the warning came too late, and moments later Baby was flying through the air with her claws extended, aiming for Javiera Rodriguez’s pitbull, Bandita. Rodriguez said the cat immediately latched onto her dog’s face, clawing at her eyes and mouth. Massive red scratches covered Bandita’s face, with the damage so bad she had to be taken to the vet. One of the other women walking her dogs, Kyla Grover, was hurt while trying to break up the cross-species brawl. She had to go to hospital after being bitten and scratched on her hand by the ferocious feline”

The more we see someone, the more attractive we find them, say researchers: “It is often said that familiarity breeds contempt. In fact, it sems that the more we see someone, the more attractive we find them. Far from falling head over heels, we may find love at second, third or even fourth sight. Researchers at Hamilton College in New York State gathered a range of photographs of faces and had them rated for attractiveness on a nine-point scale by a focus group. During the second viewing, the attractive faces were deemed extra-appealing and scored more highly than the first-time round. And the monitors showed bigger jumps in two types of brainwave that are generated when we are excited.

Rabbit cafe opens its doors in Hong Kong to animal lovers: “The newest addition to Hong Kong’s cafe scene is taking a soft approach to business – and the hosts are all ears. ‘Rabbitland’ offers a new breed of dining experience, with 12 resident bunnies who munch on grass while customers pet them between sips of tea. Tucked away on the third floor of a high-rise in the busy commercial district of Causeway Bay, the cafe says it gives people who have no room to keep a pet in space-starved Hong Kong the chance to bond with the fluffy animals. Most of the rabbits have been abandoned by previous owners, and aren’t on sale. ‘I like how soft they are and like their fur and how gentle they are when you feed them,’ says Natalie Chan, 11, whose mother had brought her to find out more about keeping rabbits as she wants one as a pet”

Mother sues hospital in Victoria for costs of raising son after failed termination: “A 23-year-old woman is suing her doctor and the public health system for hundreds and thousands after a botched termination left her with a son she did not want. Two days after the termination a report by the hospital found a pathology sample taken as part of the termination procedure showed no foetal parts or other remnants of the pregnancy. But she says a month later she returned to her GP feeling tenderness and a prickling sensation in her lower abdomen. The GP referred her for another blood test, but not for an ultrasound. Three days later, she returned, still “feeling a bit sick”. The blood test showed elevated levels of human chorionic gonadotrophin, a hormone produced when you’re pregnant. The woman claims that after this visit she should have been given an ultrasound to “see if the uterus and surrounding tubes were empty of pregnancy”.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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