Watch those seniors

August 16, 2016 at 2:08 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Kids send up dead dad in hilarious obituary: “Here it is in its entirety: “He assures us he is gone. William Ziegler escaped this mortal realm on Friday, July 29, 2016 at the age of 69. We think he did it on purpose to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election. He leaves behind four children, five grandchildren, and the potted meat industry, for which he was an unofficial spokesman until dietary restrictions forced him to eat real food. William volunteered for service in the United States Navy at the ripe old age of 17 and immediately realised he didn’t much enjoy being bossed around. He only stuck it out for one war. Before his discharge, however, the government exchanged numerous ribbons and medals for various honourable acts. Upon his return to the City of New Orleans in 1971, thinking it best to keep an eye on him, government officials hired William as a fireman. After twenty-five years, he suddenly realised that running away from burning buildings made more sense than running toward them. He promptly retired”

Kiwi in trouble over ‘drunken’ stunt in Venice: “A DRUNK Kiwi has landed in hot water in Venice after performing a spectacular stunt off the city’s most famous bridge. The tourist from New Zealand, 49, was reportedly drunk when he jumped from the Rialto Bridge over the weekend. But instead of plunging into the water of Venice’s Great Canal, the man managed to land on top of a water taxi passing underneath, badly damaging it and injuring himself and the boat’s driver. The force of the impact smashed the boat’s windshield and caused shattered glass to scatter everywhere. The man was taken to a local hospital to be treated for fractures and “severe trauma” and police said he was in a serious but stable condition. The man, who is usually based in St Tropez on the Cote d’Azur and in Venice for a holiday, is likely to be charged with endangering public transport. The incident has seriously ticked off the mayor of Venice, who is now threatening misbehaving tourists with a night in prison”

Woman in her 30s dies after ‘getting caught in automatic garage doors’: “A woman has died in a freak incident after reportedly getting caught in a garage door. The woman, who is understood to have been in her 30s, is thought to have got into difficulty while accessing the automatic rolling shutters to a private parking basement. It is believed she was visiting a friend who lives at the Ruth Bagnall Court in Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, at the time of the incident at around 7pm on Sunday. It’s not known if she was leaving or entering the car park when the tragedy occurred. ‘Maybe there was someone coming out at the same time and the gate opened and trapped her.’ One man said: ‘I have lived here for five years and that door is always breaking. There is an automatic key fob that sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. ‘I don’t know how she got into trouble but the door is automatic and is supposed to stop when it catches on something for safety purposes.'”

Can a three wheeled motorcycle beat Tesla? Bizarre $7,000 Elio ‘autocycle’ goes on sale: “The three-wheeled $7,000 vehicle seats two passengers and goes 0 to 60 mph in 9.6 seconds. It is the same length as a Honda Fit, but half the weight at 1,250lbs (570kg), allowing it to do 84 miles to the gallon. The car only has one door, on the left side, which shaves a few hundred pounds off the manufacturing costs, claims the firm. Phoenix-based Elio Motors is now planning to unleash the car on the US market next year. The company plans to start making the cars next autumn at a former General Motors plant in Shreveport, Louisiana. Because it has three wheels – two in front and one in the rear – the Elio is classified as a motorcycle by the US government. But Elio Motors founder Paul Elio said the vehicle has all the safety features of a car, such as an anti-lock brakes, front and side air bags and a steel cage that surrounds the occupants. However, drivers won’t be required to wear helmets or have motorcycle licenses.”

Is this eight-year-old boy’s birthday cake ‘violent’?: “Mia Freedman has written about being ‘Facebook shamed’ because of her son’s birthday cake. The founder of Australian website MamaMia posted a video of the ‘smash’ birthday cake to her social media pages, only to find some mums weren’t fans. The cake, made by Sydney Smash Cakes, is filled with lollies and needs to be broken open like a pinata. In the video, her eight-year-old son uses a large rolling pin to break open the chocolate shell encompassing the cake. Then the clip shows a horde of boys hands grabbing at the sweets inside the cake, leaving nothing behind. Some followers of hers on Facebook were not please with the cake, calling it ‘violent’ and claiming it made them stressed. ‘Horrible..horrible…horrible!’ Valerie D McCrae wrote. ‘Violent attack on cake followed by greedy me me me grab for sweets! No wonder kids think manners are of no importance.’ Freedman took issue with those who disliked the cake, and wrote on her website Mamamia that she was ‘Facebook shamed’ over it”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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