Some economist jokes

May 10, 2016 at 11:41 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

You are on an aircraft. Here are ten ways to tell you might be sitting next to an economist:

1. He refuses to listen to the safety announcement because “in the long run, we’re all dead”

2. He keeps telling you that “there is no such thing” as a “complimentary refreshment service”

3. He avoids prolonged conversation with you because he has a “rational expectation” that you’re an idiot since you chose the middle seat

4. But he offers to trade his aisle seat for yours in a competitive auction with the woman sitting behind you

5. He plonks his elbow on the arm rest because space has a “higher marginal utility” for him than for you

6. When he elbows you in the ribs, he says he is simply trying to “nudge” you into better behaviour

7. When he opens the overhead locker, a copy of Thomas Piketty’s “Capital in the 21st century” falls out and hits you on the head

8. But then he uses the book as a footrest

9. He only relaxes when the plane reaches 35,000 feet because then it’s in “general equilibrium”

10. Spends all the flight scribbling Greek letters into a notebook. Turns out it’s not a series of equations; he’s part of the IMF negotiating team en route to Athens.

11. Adds an extra point to a “top 10 list” because he believes in “quantitative reasoning”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Australian bookshop owners make rare historical find: “A second hand bookshop in Tasmania, Australia made a one-of-a-kind find recently. The bookstore owners unearthed a 204-year-old diary — from 1811. Apparently the book had been lying on a pile for years without receiving any attention. Mike Gray, the shop’s owner, said: “I thought at first it was worth $20.” It turns out that was a bit of an underestimation, given that the journal originally belonged to Lieutenant-Colonal John Squire. Squire served in John Wellington’s army during the Napoleonic wars and the officer was crucial in Napoleon Bonaparte’s defeat. The solider was known for keeping meticulous journals, even sketching diagrams of weapons and tunnels. The journal appears to cover 12 May to 22 July, detailing the Siege of Badajoz. Although there’s currently no word on potential buyers for the historical diary, the bookshop owners said they would contact the Imperial War Museum in London to see whether they were interested.

Man allegedly kills brother over cheeseburger: “A Florida man accused of killing his older brother in an argument over a cheeseburger has appeared in court. Police say Benjamin Middendorf shot his sibling in the chest with a 9mm handgun on Thursday night in St Cloud, 28 miles (45km) south of Orlando. The 25-year-old suspect was arraigned on Saturday on charges of first-degree premeditated murder. The altercation began when the 28-year-old victim, Nicholas Middendorf, their mother and a third man returned to the home from a night out, according to a police report. “I just shot my brother on accident,” a distraught man is heard telling a 911 dispatcher in audio of the call released by police. “We were in a fight and I grabbed a gun and I shot him. Oh God. I’m so sorry.” Mr Middendorf was pronounced dead at the scene. St Cloud Police Department spokesperson Denise Roberts told Bay News 9: “This is an impulsive incident that happened. Maybe anger, rage. “But it was definitely over a verbal dispute that sadly, it was over a cheeseburger.”

Photo that left onlookers baffled: “A DECOMMISSIONED Boeing 767 is being transported along Ireland’s Wild Atlantic Way to create the ultimate “glamping” venue. In the process, it left many onlookers scratching their heads, as it appeared to float on the water. The aircraft — which will be the centrepiece accommodation at an alternative transport themed glamping village in Enniscrone — was transferred from the runway at Shannon Airport to Knockberg Point. The barge was towed by a powerful tug out of the Shannon estuary and into the Atlantic Ocean for its 36-hour journey to Enniscrone, Co Sligo. Businessman David McGowan wants to use the jet as a point of attraction for his new “Quirky Nights Glamping” venture in the popular seaside resort Co Sligo”

Ancient Australian tree will be sadly missed: “A 1000-year-old boab tree which grew to become an icon of the Kimberley region has died after heavy rains caused it to fall down on Thursday. Ellenbrae Station manager Larissa White said the tree, famous for an outdoor bath tub installed underneath it in the 1960s, was a popular stop-off for tourists travelling the Gibb River Road and would be greatly missed. She said it most likely cracked after rain filled its hollowed-out branches and made it top-heavy. Station workers held a wake for the tree on Friday. “We certainly shed a tear and had a drink for the boab tree,” Ms White said. The station has long been a hit with tourists due to the boab tree and Ms White’s famous scones”

No Text Emojis for Muslims: Islam Preacher Calls Icons ‘Devilish,’ Rejects Angels: “Islamic preacher Wajdi Akkari has prohibited the use of religious or spiritual emojis on the grounds of them being non-Islamic in nature. He has issued a warning to Islam followers banning the usage of emojis like the angel, devil or prayer ones. He released a video on MailOnline with his animated avatar circulating his message to audiences. “You have to be selective in these emojis. Not everything is halal [permissible] to share,” he said as quoted by The Daily Mail. “When someone wants to share their innocence or say, ‘I’m a good boy,’ they send that yellow smiley face with a halo. No!” he said in the video. “Do we believe that angels in Islam are like the angels in Christianity? … Absolutely not … We don’t know what Satan and the devil look like. Therefore, we are not allowed to draw him. These emojis that are devilish in their nature are not allowed, even if you are trying to say that ‘you are being a bad boy or a bad girl.’”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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