Some Facebook fails

May 7, 2016 at 1:17 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

“Facebook is supposed to be a platform to communicate with friends, but judging from the number of embarrassing slip-ups shared across the internet, friendship is no protection if you commit a status sin. Beware the perils of posting comments maligning others’ stupidity, however.

A man known only as Matthew was left red-faced when he judged his teacher harshly, writing: ‘My teacher is so dumb. He thought the sun was a star.’ His friend Allie replied: ‘Umm that’s because it is…’ But even in the face of blatant correction, Matthew continued, insisting: ‘No it’s not. A sun is a sun, and a star is a star. Saying that a sun is a star is the same as saying a tomato is a fruit. That’s right, it’s not true.’

In response to the status ‘Long day…Jesus makes things so hard on me’ one well-meaning friend replied: ‘Doesn’t he?? But it’s for the best, just keep him in your heart and keep praying gurl…it will get better. Jesus works in mysterious ways…’ To which the response came: ‘Jesus is my 14 year old son, he was suspended from school for punching a janitor again.'”

Another top tip: avoid boasting about yourself, you never know who is going to respond. Something Thomas might have considered before he posted: ‘Thomas… hears that they say I’m sexy now.’ But his disgruntled ex Jade replied: ‘Wow. I see you’re still full of yourself asshole.’

Not to be put off, Thomas replied: ‘Really!? Pardon me if I’m wrong…but haven’t I been inside you?’ To which the response from Jade came: ‘Congratulations! We hooked up three years ago. You were a dick then and you’re a dick now.’

And then there are the posts that put the Y in irony, such as: ‘Anyone help me find articles on Generation Y, or just how our generation is lazy, that are empirical research studies!’

The old gaffes (dating way back to the Noughties) are still the best. This one did the rounds in 2010 and was advertised on hacker forums as ‘the easiest way to get Facebook passwords ever’. ‘Weird discovery of the day. If you type a word in Facebook (in a comment, status, etc.) that happens to be the same as your password, after you click ‘Share’, Facebook automatically converts it to asterisks to protect your security. Allow me to demonstrate. My password is *********’

Some of the best examples of Facebook fails are the ones where language is no barrier to self-expression. Or woeful attempts at it, such as: ‘U guys are f***ing gays those are all the people who dislike him in those country’s (sic) if u stop being a whiny b**** about Donald Trump and what social media says about him and look in the polls u would be surprised and like wtf ur gunna (sic) die if he become president smh’. ‘A prime example of a failing education system…you’

Then there are the challengers of modern science:

‘99.9% of pictures that Nasa releases of space is fake and is CGI created. Hence which is why I believe earth isn’t a globe.’ ‘Just when ya think you’ve found the dumbest person on the Internet….ppl like Edward keep ya looking.’

Failures of geography are common:

‘Did anyone else use to think Alaska was an island? Totally argued with someone for an hour about it. Thank you, map of the US for making me feel dumb af! (sic)’ ‘NOPE. Just found that out. But it’s a simple mistake. Like, the map for real shows it ALL by itself. Not connected to anything.’

Then there are the signs that a person has never functioned without the help of their smartphone. ‘How did people no (sic) what roads to take before Google maps was made?’ ‘They used maps’. ‘Wat?? (sic) No I said before Google maps.’

Original story here

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Amazing 850ft TRIPLE waterfall formed by unique rock formations in Lebanon: “These remarkable pictures show a unique three-tiered waterfall in northern Lebanon as water crashes down through circular rock formations and cavernous gorges. The photographs were taken by Ralph Azar and Jack Seikaly, from Beirut, Lebanon, at the 850ft-high Baatara Gorge waterfall, near Tannourine in northern Lebanon. Mr Seikaly, 23, added: ‘I would consider this location as one of the wonders of Lebanon, given how unique it is for a waterfall to go through three naturally formed circle rock formations. This is one of the most beautiful locations in Lebanon.

China bans erotic bananas: “The Chinese government has banned ‘seductive’ consumption of bananas during webcam live-streams, in an attempt to clamp down on ‘inappropriate and erotic’ content online. Webcam streams, or live video blogs, is growing in popularity in China with users filming themselves doing everything from talking and singing to eating in front of a live online audience. However also growing in popularity are streams showing young girls performing seductive acts on camera, carried out using seemingly innocent objects in order to get past government censors. As a result, the government has passed new regulations governing live-streaming websites, banning ‘erotic’ banana consumption and wearing stockings and suspenders while streaming,New Express Daily reports”

A newborn panda: “Meet China’s new addition, a one day old panda cub. The adorable baby panda was born at Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding in Sichuan province earlier today, reports the People’s Daily Online. Pictures of the newborn which weighs 145 grams (5oz) show the cub with its mother and also being cared for in an incubator by staff at the centre. The new arrival which was born at 6.06am has not yet been named. A live stream of Ai Bang, the mother giving birth which included pictures and video streams received more than 620,000 page views. When a panda cub is first born it is pink, blind and toothless, weighing only 90 to 130 grams – a mere one eight-hundredth of its mother’s weight. A month after birth, the colour pattern of the cub’s fur is fully developed. At around 70 to 80 days it will begin to crawl and play with its mother or, in these conditions, with other pandas. Giant panda cubs are extremely rare as female pandas are only in estrus – that is, ready to accept a male and mate – for around two to three days a year.

The mother addicted to BRICKS: 30-year-old ate a bowl of fragments every day: “From chocolate to pickled gherkins, many women experience intense cravings during pregnancy. But Jenny Mason felt the bizarre urge to eat bricks, mortar, sand and soil while expecting – and claims the urge was stronger than for a cigarette. Ms Mason, from Liverpool, would scrape fragments off her wall into a bowl to eat them – much like others wolf down cereal.She hid her strange habit from her partner, electrician Stephen Connor, 31, and her friends for six months out of embarrassment. Nine full bricks were coming loose and needed refilling with mortar, and when Mr Connor said he was going to phone their landlord about their crumbling house, she confessed all. Finally, she was diagnosed with Pica – a compulsive urge to eat non-food items – which she says was a relief as it meant she ‘wasn’t going crazy'”

Workers baffled after discovering blowhole in desert that sends sand shooting hundreds of feet in the air: “Workers in a Saudi Arabia desert have discovered a blowhole that sends sand hundreds of feet into the air… but no one seems to know what it is. Footage shows workers in the desert attempting to fill the hole with sand from a digger truck. They throw other materials into the hole which then explode, sending a storm of sand hundreds of feet tall flying into the air. After a few seconds of the sandstorm, it dies away, and the digger retreats. Workers then approach the hole and are seemingly baffled by how to solve the problem. But as they throw another piece of debris into the hole, it again sends the sand shooting hundreds of feet into the air. The video ends with the men looking on, puzzled at the mysterious phenomenon.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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