Some stories from A Washington DC Airport Ticket Agent

March 13, 2016 at 2:31 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman’s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..”

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, “Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa”.
His response — click..

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, “Don’t lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!” (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada”?

I said, No.

She said, But they look so close on the map (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas … When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time”. (Ahhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom? I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’

He replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!”

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT – Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .. After going over all the cost info, she asked, Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala who asked, How do I know which plane to get on?

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.

10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.

She said, “Yeah, whatever, smarty!”

11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. “Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!

12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”

“Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, “I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a rhino anywhere.”

The man retorted, “Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo , do you?”

The reply? “Whatever! I knew it was a big animal”.

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it’s in!

..

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Teen boy who threw a seat from a moving train into traffic was turned in to police by his MOTHER after she spotted him in video: “Video footage has revealed the shocking moment a teenage boy throws a train seat from a moving carriage onto a busy road in Sydney. The mother of the teenage boy handed her son to Ryde Police Station after allegedly recognising him in the video posted to Facebook”. A police spokesperson told Daily Mail Australia that any individual who undertakes dangerous activities such as throwing objects from trains is putting their life at serious risk and can potentially risk the safety of others. The teenage boy is in custody and has been charged with throwing an object onto a motorway and interfering with a train, the spokesperson said.

Is this the ugliest building you’ve seen? Internet users ridicule Chinese digital mall shaped like a MOBILE PHONE: “Internet users in China have been debating over the country’s ugliest buildings, picking out a mobile-phone shaped mall in south-west China’s Yunnan province as the most unsightly. The oddly designed Xing Yao Mobile Phone Plaza is located in Kunming and has windows shaped like buttons and even a hand grabbing the ‘device’, the People’s Daily Online reports. The high-rise joins a list of others known as some of the ugliest in the country including a building shaped like a giant bottle of Chinese liquor. Just last month China’s State Council released guidelines on urban planning to curb the construction of ‘weird and odd shaped buildings in the country’.

More British bureaucratic bungling: “Parklands High School in Speke, Liverpool, is perfect for discreet filming as its laboratories, woodwork rooms and domestic science kitchens all lie empty, awaiting lessons that will never take place. Parklands, which bade farewell to its last pupils in 2014, is a shaming symptom of two chronic British maladies: the inability of this country to educate all of its children to a basic acceptable standard, and the pathological short-termism of its politicians. Parklands shut because it was a thoroughly bad school in academic terms, one of the worst — if not the worst — in the UK. In 2007, one per cent of its pupils managed to achieve five GCSEs, including English and mathematics, at grade C and above. Yes, that’s right — one per cent. As the school entered its death throes, there were a mere 170 pupils whose parents still saw fit to send them there, inhabiting an institution designed for 900.

Man stunned as wife who ‘died’ two years ago is spotted on TV show: “A man who believed his wife was dead found out she was in fact still alive after she was spotted on a television programme. Abragh Mohamed, from Azilal, Morocco, thought he had lost his spouse in a car crash two years ago. The unnamed woman was taken to the Ibn Rochd hospital in Casablanca, where doctors said she would probably not survive – but that the family still had to pay her medical bills. “I had to receive her body, apparently wrapped in a shroud and coffin already inside,” Mr Mohamed told Nuevo Dia. She was given a burial in their hometown in 2014. But recently friends watching a show which sets out to reunite ‘lost’ families heard a woman they were sure was Mrs Mohamed appealing to find her husband. She apparently called in to TV programme Al Mokhtafoun, which translates as ‘The Disappeared’, and gave his name and address, saying they had “lost touch” two years ago.”

Snake in car armrest: “When you’re sitting in a car beside one of Australia’s most venomous snakes, your next move had better be the right one. Fortunately the passenger who discovered the red-bellied black snake sitting in the armrest beside him happened to be a professional. In video posted by Snake Catchers Adelaide a few hours ago, two of the employees were driving back from a job when they felt something slither past them in the car. “We’ve got an escapee,” the driver remarks as the passenger, called Rolly, simultaneously reaches for the snake’s tail and the door handle a mere centimetres away. The snake was captured with no harm done”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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1 Comment »

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  1. Sadly the red bellied black snake is one of the least venomous in Oz, less than 1% of bites to healthy people result in death. Probably most of them die of fright!!


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