Yet more 20th century wisdom

January 30, 2016 at 1:47 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

~ Johnny Carson… If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.

~ Warren Tantum… I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical.

~ Steve Martin… Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.

~ Jimmy Durante… Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

~ George Roberts… The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.

~ Jonathan Winters… If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.

~ Robert Benchley… I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Swiss government proposes paying everyone £1,700 a month whether they work or not in a bid to end poverty… but insists most people will still want to get a job: “Swiss residents are to vote on a countrywide referendum about a radical plan to pay every single adult a guaranteed income of £425 a week (or £1,700 a month). The plan, proposed by a group of intellectuals, could make the country the first in the world to pay all of its citizens a monthly basic income regardless if they work or not. But the initiative has not gained much traction among politicians from left and right despite the fact that a referendum on it was approved by the federal government for the ballot box on June 5. Around 153 billion francs (£105 bn) would have to be levied from taxes, while 55 billion francs (£38 bn) would be transferred from social insurance and social assistance spending.”

Is this the best boss in the world? “Staff at a travel company were shocked when their boss marked a successful decade in business – by treating them to a luxury holiday in Barbados. Generous Helen Bilton, founder of The Group Company, is celebrating her company’s ten year anniversary by taking all 32 members of staff on a five-star, three-night all inclusive trip to the exotic island. Helen had initially told staff at a meeting last year that they would be attending Flamingo Land – but later said the adventure park was shut and revealed everyone would instead be travelling on an 8,000 mile round trip to the Caribbean destination. Speaking about the role her staff play at the company, she added: ‘Everyone works so hard and I am very grateful for that, so I’m delighted to be able to reward them.'”

Russian has his hand RIPPED OFF by a caged bear after ignoring his friends’ warnings and reaching in to stroke the animal: “This is the moment a Russian had his hand ripped off by a caged bear – after ignoring his friends’ warnings and reaching in to stroke the animal. Footage taken in Murmanskaya Oblast, in the country’s far north west shows the man screaming out in pain as the bear clamps its teeth around his arm. The brown bear took hold of his arm and stood up on its back legs as it yanked the man from side to side with its jaws. The man is believed to have lost his forearm up to his elbow in the attack – but did not die despite suffering horrific injuries”.

Oldsters terrorized by swans: “Two swans have wreaked havoc in a one-tranquil community, turning the residents’ peaceful lives into a ‘living hell’. The feathery fiends have attacked cars and cyclists, threatened the postman, terrorised pensioners and even soiled on their gardens. Now residents at Hope Mill Park near Stroud, in Gloucestershire are fighting back against the aggressive birds, arming themselves with water pistols, hoses, walking sticks and brooms. For more than ten years, the mute swans caused no problems for the community of 21 mobile homes on the banks of the Frome. But they have become increasingly territorial. Barbara Morse, 66, who has lived at the park for six years, said the daily incidents with the swans are shattering the peace. She is among those who have resorted to firing a water pistol at the birds, which are protected by law, to deter them. ‘They attacked my great granddaughter not too long ago. It scared her half to death,’ she said.

A luxury hotel with no bedrooms: Now abandoned: “It was called a hotel – but you couldn’t check in. The stunning L’Albergo Diurno Metropolitano was built between 1923 and 1925 and offered all the amenities you would find in a lavish Venetian hotel today – apart from a place to sleep. Hence it was known as a ‘daytime hotel. It was open between 7am and 11pm daily and was designed by architect Piero Portaluppi as a place to provide a moment of rejuvenation for people visiting the city – and those who needed somewhere to relax and wait for their check-in time at their hotel. L’Albergo was home to dozens of facilities including large comfortable lounges, public baths, a spa, ladies hairdressers, manicure salons and even ironing and wardrobe services. A newsagent, shoe-shiners, bicycle garage, travel agency and photography shop, were all also situated in the 12,916 sq foot space. Although the majority of the art déco’s facilities closed in the mid eighties, some of the barber shops stayed in operation”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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