More great philosophers

January 29, 2016 at 11:35 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

~ Prince Philip… When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

~ Emo Philips… A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

~ Harrison Ford… Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.

~ Spike Milligan… The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree.

~ Robin Hall… Lawyers believe a person is innocent until proven broke.

~ Jean Rostand… Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger… Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.

~ WH Auden… We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

The great butter revival: “Butter is back in favour, and margarine is out of favour instead. Last week, the food-giant Unilever announced corporate changes that have led industry-watchers to speculate it is pulling out of producing margarine due to plummeting sales. Unilever’s success is founded partly on margarine, which for decades was hailed as the heart-friendly alternative to butter. Today, the company is the world’s largest margarine-maker, with brands such as Flora and the doughty Stork, which was launched in 1920. Before World War II, Stork was advertised as The Energy Giver to dispel thoughts that margarine was unhealthy. Originally made from beef fat and milk, most margarines are now made from a variety of vegetable oils, such as sunflower. In the past few years, a turnaround in expert health advice on dairy fats has transformed butter from fridge-shelf pariah to the golden boy of healthy spreads”

Stunning 16th-century stained glass windows that survived the Blitz restored to their former glory: “One of the world’s rarest collection of stained glass windows has been restored to its former glory after 200 years. More than 400 colour panels dating back to the 16th century were carefully removed from the famous Lady Chapel at Lichfield Cathedral, Staffordshire, and painstakingly cleaned for the historic restoration. Unlike Coventry Cathedral located 30 miles away, Lichfield was spared during WW2 by the Luftwaffe, who used its three spires as a navigational aid. The cathedral was also spared by King Henry VIII, who had abbeys and monasteries destroyed during the Reformation. Lichfield’s windows were originally bought from a local landowner for £100 around 200 years ago. He had taken from a Belgian monastery which had fallen into disrepair and shipped it back to England.”

Burger King prank: “John Correa, an 18-year-old from Florida, tweeted a picture of two giant bags of uncooked chicken nuggets lovingly strapped up in his car. “TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY WORKING AT BURGER KING SO I TOOK ALL OF THEIR NUGGETS, F*CK IT.” The tweet clocked up over 35,000 retweets, with many people deeming him an absolute legend for the act. But in true social media style, it turns out the whole thing was just an elaborate prank. It turns out Correa is still employed at the Miami Burger King location. The real story? His manager had just asked him to drive to another Burger King store and pick up extra nuggets. That was it”

University students get lessons in how to use a revolving DOOR: “For most people, using a door is a simple matter of opening it and walking through. But some find the revolving kind a little more complicated, if guidance issued by a Scottish university is to be believed. Students at Aberdeen’s Robert Gordon University have been issued with detailed instructions on their use. An email, issued on behalf of the university’s occupational health and safety team, lists dos and don’ts – prompting claims of a ‘nanny state gone mad’. Staff and students have been told not to stop or slow down the glass doors and to be aware of others using them. The guidance came after a member of staff fractured their arm at the Garthdee campus in Aberdeen. The email said: ‘Revolving doors are heavy and may cause serious injuries if they strike someone. Do not push the doors hard as they will continue revolving and do not have automatic brakes.”

If you’re reading this, you’re probably stealing my car’: “The owner of a car that is ‘constantly getting stolen’ got the vehicle back after leaving a hilarious note in the glovebox asking the thief to leave it somewhere it won’t get towed. The woman, from Portland, wrote the note two years ago after the black 1990s Honda Civic was first stolen, and it asked that the criminal put it on the dash when they abandon the vehicle. This time around, the thief did as they were asked, and four days after the theft, she got a call from a passerby who saw the note and let her know where the vehicle was. After getting the car back, they posted the note on Reddit, with the caption: ‘I left a snarky note in the glovebox of my Honda the last time it was stolen. Just recovered the car from the most recent theft. They read my letter and I think it worked; they ditched it in front of a house this time (YAY).’

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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