Country folk

January 12, 2016 at 2:33 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over Here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to Get started.”

Her neighbor asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The little silver haired lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the Table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her And says,

“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to Assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.” He takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a Nice cup of coffee, and then,” he said with a deep sigh …………

“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Vast secret shelter 100ft under London: “It was hand-built to protect thousands of people from terrifying bombing raids by Nazi Germany during the Blitz in the Second World War. But the existence of the underground shelter beneath Clapham Common remains a complete secret to the vast majority of Londoners, even those who walk above it every day. The shelter ‘village’ lies 100ft below ground and is made up of 1,300 tunnels and is big enough to cater up to 8,000 people, and have now become a special exhibition open to the public. Work began on the tunnels in 1940 as part of a dash to prepare the capital against the imminent Nazi attack and possible invasion that some feared Hitler would launch. Triple decker beds were installed throughout in case thousands of people had to be housed at short notice. They were completed within eight months, but at tragic cost because 11 workers were killed in the effort. ‘It all had to be dug out by hand – this was in the days before tunnel-boring machines”

Unusual way to transport a shark: “A West Australian fisherman has explained why he strapped a tiger shark to his bullbar to transport it home after the bizarre scene was captured on video. The great grandfather told Seven News on Tuesday the shark was too heavy for him to lift into his boat. “If I could have put it onto the boat or anywhere else, I would have done it,” he said. “But as a last resort I put him on the bullbar. It wasn’t the fact of showing off.” The man said the shark was already dead when he caught it and he hauled it in to avoid other sharks going after the carcass. “If I put the shark back into the water, other sharks would come around and start a feeding frenzy and if people were nearby they could probably end up getting hurt or killed,” he said. The man’s comments come after Department of Fisheries told media the fisherman could be hit with fines of more than $5000 if the shark proved to be protected.”

Pranksters create a baby shower card that plays a newborn’s cries for THREE HOURS and can’t be stopped: “A baby shower card which plays the cries of a newborn baby for more than three hours has been devised by pranksters. The unassuming card devised by Travis and LA-based Nick Peterson reminds parents what they’ve signed up for with incessant wailing lasting more than 180 minutes. On the outside, the prank product looks just like an ordinary white greeting card, with a photograph of a cute sleeping infant and the words ‘A baby is God’s sweetest gift’ in calligraphy. However, a tongue-in-cheek message inside the card reads ‘the gift that keeps on giving’ – and, indeed, the screaming baby doesn’t stop even if the card is ripped or crushed. When the recipient pushes a button which just says ‘press’ next to a musical note, likely to be expecting a brief jingle, the relentless wailing begins – and the agonising noise only gets louder when you press it again”

Grow your own truffles: “Historically they have been exclusive to only the top chefs and those with deep enough pockets to fork out for a few precious grams. But now amateur gardeners can grow the luxury food in their back gardens thanks to Devon-based Suttons Seeds which has started to sell special truffle trees, for just £29.99. The roots of young hazel trees have been impregnated with truffle fungi which begins to grow once planted in soil. But those wanting their own truffle crop will have to be patient as it will take between four to seven years for the first to appear. The good news is that the tree will then keep producing them for 25 years. ‘Britain was actually a hotbed for the truffle trade up until around 500 years ago but it slowly died off as we put in roads and hedgerows.”

Star wars baby: “As the theme tune for one of the most notorious movie villains of all time, it’s hardly the most obvious choice for a lullaby. But The Imperial March from the Star Wars franchise seems to have magical soothing powers. The 45-second clip shows an 11-week-old baby crying hysterically before being pacified when he hears the famous score that is typically associated with Darth Vader. When Micah Hayman, from Texas, posted the video to his YouTube page on 7 January, he explained: ‘I figured out the Imperial March calms my son when he is crying. He filmed his son Eli crying in his lap, before getting his phone out and playing the piece of music. Within seconds, the baby has stopped crying and seems to be listening intently to the music. Micah told ABC News: ‘He was screaming one day and nothing would calm him down. ‘For some reason I decided to pull up the Imperial March, and he stopped crying as soon as it started playing.'”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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