Alzheimer test

September 17, 2015 at 4:04 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?”

“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Frightening coffee mug: “The White House briefly went into lock down on Wednesday afternoon after an ‘unattended package’ was discovered in the park across the street. The object inside the package turned out to be a coffee mug, the Secret Service said. President Barack Obama was not on the premises when the lock down went into effect, at approximately 2:58 pm. The suspicious package was declared safe and the lock down ended at roughly 3:35 pm. According to the Department of Homeland Security, the package was discovered in Lafayette Park. The Secret Service subsequently closed public access to Lafayette Park and Pennsylvania Avenue as it and the Explosive Ordinance inspected the item. The coast was declared clear before the president returned to the White House at 3:47 pm.”

Mini kiwi fruit: Grape-sized berries that can be eaten whole: “It looks very much like the original Kiwi fruit from New Zealand. However, the Kiwi berry is a fraction of the size – and is being grown on a British farm. Unlike its larger cousin, the berry version does not have the furry skin, which means it can be eaten whole. It is about the size of a grape and looks very similar to a gooseberry, but is actually much sweeter. The official name of the berry is Actinidia arguta and it grows wild in parts of China, north-eastern Siberia, Korea and Japan. The tiny fruit are very high in antioxidants, Vitamin C, A and E as well as Potassium and Magnesium, which makes them ideal lunchbox alternatives to sweets and biscuits. While most people might eat them as a snack or in a fruit salad, they can also be used in sweet omelettes, in a sauce for baked fish or in a salsa with tomatoes, coriander, oil and spices.”

Fisherman reels in MONSTER-FISH off the coast of Japan: “Visibly straining as he holds it aloft, a Japanese fisherman grimaces as he proudly displays a terrifyingly large fish caught in the waters off Japan. With a gaping mouth large enough to swallow a small child, this creature – believed to be a wolf-fish – would not look out of place in a science fiction film. The massive catch was reeled in by Hirasaka Hiroshi, a fisherman who has made a career of landing and then eating unusual fish. Wolf-fish commonly live in the Pacific and Atlantic oceans. As deep sea dwellers, they feed on smaller creatures along the ocean floor. Normally growing to about 1.2m in length, the wolffish Hirasaka caught measured close to two metres, The Sun reported.

Australian Prime Minister stumped by feminist talk: “Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was left scratching his head during question time on Wednesday after he was accused of ‘mansplaining’. Labor deputy leader Tanya Plibersek triggered raised eyebrows and confusion when she told parliament Mr Turnbull was mansplaining instead of answering her question about foreign aid. An ABC journalist overheard some of Ms Plibersek’s confused colleagues ask each other if she said ‘manscaping’ and what she meant by it. So what does mansplaining mean? The word mansplain, according to the Macquarie Dictionary, means to ‘explain (something) to a woman, in a way that is patronising because it assumes that a woman will be ignorant of the subject matter’. The Prime Minister told the parliament on Wednesday that if Ms Plibersek wanted a serious answer about foreign aid she should ask serious questions. ‘But it’s a complete waste of question time and now the honourable member is asking more questions by way of interjection.’

What time is YOUR wine o’clock?: “Brits are known the world over for our teatime: that mid-afternoon lull which can be pepped up with a strong cuppa and a biscuit. No more: it seems that wine is fast overtaking tea as women’s relaxant of choice. In fact, the charity Alcohol Concern is so worried about the ‘wine o’clock’ culture among middle-class mothers, it warns that many are risking their health and passing their habits on to their children.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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