An illusion

September 4, 2015 at 4:15 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Boyfriend, my niece, my nephew and I are standing in line for ice cream. We’ve had a full day so everyone is subdued. I lean over and give Boyfriend a smooch.

A woman walks up to me.

“I admire you so much” she says. “You have the most beautiful family. Your kids are so well behaved. You and your husband look blissful. Please tell me your secret.”

“Well” I say. “This man here is not my husband. And these are not my kids. We just borrowed them.”

“OH THANK GOD” she says and walks away.

The perfect family. Does it exist?

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Nightmare spider: “Until Mark Wong recently flipped over a rock in Tallaganda State Forest in New South Wales, Australia, it had been just another day of looking at spiders. Then, the ecologist spotted the burrow of Atrax sutherlandi, a funnel-web spider. “I began poking at it with a stick, and I was amazed at what came rushing out at me. The first thing that caught my eye was the red fang,” says Wong. Normally, A. sutherlandi has a glossy black back and fang, as well as a deep-brown or plum underbelly. The spider that sprung from the burrow, however, had a blood-red belly and fang. “I had never seen a funnel-web spider with those colors before”—and it turns out no one else had, either, says Wong, a National Geographic Young Explorer and Ph.D. student at the Australian National University in Canberra. A careful search of the area also didn’t yield any other spiders with similar coloring, says Wong. He brought the oddly colored spider back to the lab, but it died. He’s not sure what gave this particular spider its scarlet hue, but it’s likely some sort of genetic mutation.”

Mystery tunnel: “THE neighbour had put up with the noise coming from the old woman’s backyard for months. The digging sounds broke into his sleep, interrupted his dreams. He wondered why the men always carried out their work at night — and by torchlight. Something was off. He called the police. When officers arrived at the property just outside the Old City in East Jerusalem last Monday, they got a shock. Somebody had excavated a 30m hole leading from the yard to beneath the adjacent Nur al-Din St. The woman told police that seven months earlier, a group of men claiming to be council workers had knocked on her door. They had been sent by the Jerusalem municipality to “fix a water leak” and needed to dig in her yard. A closer inspection of the shaft revealed walls had been fortified with rock and ladders placed inside. It ended at a point just metres from the Rockefeller Museum, built in 1938 and home to some of the world’s greatest archaeological treasures.”

Black kills himself while taking selfie: “A 19-YEAR-OLD Texas man is dead after he accidentally shot himself while posing for a selfie with a gun. POLICE say Deleon Alonso Smith died of a gunshot wound to the throat in an apartment in southwestern Houston. Investigators say Smith had found a gun and had been taking pictures of himself and a cousin holding the weapon, and posting them online, when the gun discharged. Investigators say the cousin was in another room when the gun fired shooting Smith. “It’s the worst feeling in my life,” said Eric Douglas, Smith’s uncle. Smith, who leaves behind two young daughters, was supposed to begin attending community college this week.

Thieves meet feisty lady: “MONIQUE Bastos has only had six fights in her mixed martial arts career and weighs just 56kgs — but that didn’t stop her absolutely destroying a would-be thief during an attempted robbery in Brazil. According to MMAFighting.com, Bastos was on her way home from jiu-jitsu training with two friends on Tuesday when two men attacked the group and demanded they hand over their mobile phones. Bad move. While one man escaped, Bastos was able to place the other in a rear-naked choke before forcing him to the footpath and applying a triangle choke. I realised they were not armed. When they tried to escape, I lifted the rear wheel of the bike and they fell on the ground. The guy who took my phone ran away, but I was able to get the other one.” Bastos held the man, identified as Wesley Sousa de Araujo, for 15 minutes until police arrived to arrest him. Video of the incident shows Araujo screaming for sympathy but his pleas fall on deaf ears.”

An Australian redneck? “BRIBIE ISLAND Police were left stunned recently when they pulled over a driver who had his door held shut with a piece of rope. The car was one of 11 ­defective vehicles stopped by Bribie Island police from August 18 to August 25. Bribie Island Police ­station officer-in-charge Senior Sergeant Dave Crawford-Raby said the car was pulled over in Bellara on August 18 after an officer ­noticed the driver’s door moving. “In this instance the door was actually held closed by a piece of rope,” Sgt Crawford-Raby said. “The rope went across to the other side of the car and my officers saw the door moving because it wasn’t ­secured properly.” The driver, a 46-year-old man from Bellara, was fined $117 and his car pulled off the road.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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