Here’s a Russian joke

August 31, 2015 at 3:16 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Quality, Not Quantity

The commanding officer at the Russian military academy (the equivalent of a 4-star general in the U.S.) gave a lecture on Potential Problems and Military Strategy. At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions.

An officer stood up and asked, “Will there be a third world war? And will Russia take part in it?”

The general answered both questions in the affirmative.

Another officer asked, “Who will be the enemy?”

The general replied, “All indications point to China.”

Everyone in the audience was shocked. A third officer remarked, “General, we are a nation of only 150 million, compared to the 1.5 billion Chinese. Can we win at all, or even survive?”

The general answered, “Just think about this for a moment: In modern warfare, it is not the quantity of soldiers that matters but the quality of an army’s capabilities. For example, in the Middle East we have had a few wars recently where 5 million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs, and Israel was always victorious.”

After a small pause, yet another officer – from the back of the auditorium asked, “Do we have enough Jews?”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Intruder dies after confrontation with homeowner in Western Australia: “A MAN has died after he was allegedly restrained by a homeowner when he was caught intruding at a home in Lockridge. Police were called to the house on Altone Road about 9.15pm on Saturday night where a 50-year-old man had confronted two men at his home. It was reported that the man is a former police officer who came home from walking his dogs to find two intruders at his house. One of the men fled on foot and the other man had an altercation with the resident who was able to restrain him until police arrived. The restrained man, who was understood to be in this thirties, was provided medical assistance at the scene and taken to Swan Districts Hospital for treatment. He later died. Police are investigating the incident and the Coronial Investigation Unit will prepare a report for the Coroner.”

Scientists create slow-melting ice cream: “ICE cream fans could soon savour a slower-melting treat on a hot day thanks to a new ingredient developed by scientists. RESEARCHERS discovered a naturally occurring protein that can be used to create ice cream which is more resistant to melting than conventional products.
It works by binding together the air, fat and water – creating a super-smooth consistency. The development could also allow products to be made with lower levels of saturated fat and fewer calories. Scientists at the Universities of Edinburgh and Dundee estimate that ice cream made with the ingredient could be available within three to five years. As well as keeping ice cream frozen for longer in hot weather, it could prevent gritty ice crystals from forming, ensuring a fine, smooth texture like those of luxury brands.”

Mom shares school’s creative fundraiser: “A Texas middle school has decided to forgo the tradition fundraisers like bake sales and holiday gift catalogs for a more straightforward scheme: asking for cash. Dee Wise Heinz, mother to a 7th grader at the Dallas-area school, was at first surprised to get a fundraiser letter on just the second day of school. But when she read it, her annoyance turned to delight. The first item on offer, for $15: ‘I do not want to bake, so here is the money I would have spent on those cupcakes.’ And the humor continued through to the $100 level. ‘I really wouldn’t have helped anyway, so here is $100 to forget my name,’ the option reads. “I called the PTA person and she explained that they’d done this for two or three years and it was a big success,’ Heinz said.”

Disaster. Thirty eight virgins lost: “Dozens of girls and young women were killed as they travelled to the traditional festival where the King of Swaziland is know to pick a new bride from thousands of topless, dancing virgins. At least 38 died when the open-topped truck collided with another vehicle, before being hit by a second truck as it travelled along a motorway between the Swazi cities of Mbabane and Manzini on Friday afternoon. The girls were all taking part in the Swazi Reed Dance Festival, an annual event which sees tens of thousands of unmarried girls – or ‘maidens’ – perform for King Mswati III, Africa’s last absolute monarch. The Sherborne-educated king is known to pick his wives from the girls who perform for him at the traditional dance, a tribute to the queen mother. Last year, he plucked a 19-year-old virgin from the dancing maidens, who became his 14th wife.”

Sydney’s most expensive cheese toastie: “IT doesn’t look like much, but at $22 this has to be Sydney’s most expensive cheese toastie. Made from two slices of brioche, stuffed with five different kinds of cheese and shoved full of Aussie black truffles, it’s may not be big in size — but it’s huge in flavour. The toastie is the creation of Sydney uber-chef Peter Gilmore at his newly opened Bennelong restaurant at the Opera House, and has had a warm reception since its launch last week, becoming one of the most ordered dishes on the restaurant’s bar menu. The toastie is built on a combination of five all-Australian cheeses: Shaw River buffalo mozzarella, Mountain Man L’Artisan washed rind, both from Victoria, Heidi gruyere and C2 raw cheddar, both from Tasmania, and Paesanella ricotta from humble Marrickville. The truffle, shaved generously over the cheeses, is from WA’s Manjimup, while the brioche is smeared with butter before being toasted.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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