Moving with the times

June 13, 2015 at 1:36 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The thinking person’s security system!

We’ve disconnected our home alarm system and quit our Neighborhood Watch.

Bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard … One at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center.

Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7.

I’ve never felt safer and we’re saving $49.95 a month.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

The Vampire squid: “The Vampyroteuthhis infernalis (vampire squid of hell) is commonly referred to as the vampire squid by those aware of its existence. Most people have never heard of it and very few have ever encountered it. The vampire squid resembles both a squid and an octopus, but is actually the sole living member of a separate order of cephalopod. It has a maximum recorded length of one foot and can be found in the temperate and tropical seas, but only at extreme depths of 2,000 feet or more. Its eight arms are approximately six inches in length, with a skin-like webbing connecting the proximal half, forming a cloak or umbrella leading into the beak and mouth. The arms are lined with fleshy spines and, on the distal portion, suckers. The body varies from black to pale red in color, the cloak is black on the inside, and its relatively large eyes appear red or blue. Two small fins on the body provide the animal’s propulsion. It relies on darkness and stealth both for finding prey and for eluding predators, so has little need for speed. Predators include large deepwater fish and deep-diving marine mammals.”

Prestigious British university to study LEGO: “Cambridge University is set to offer one academic a dream job as the prestigious institution’s professor of Lego. The lucky academic will head their own research department after Cambridge’s faculty of education received £4million in donations from the Lego Foundation. The winning candidate will start the job in October, and will be the director of the university’s Research Centre on Play in Education, Development and Learning. In the latest edition of university magazine The Reporter, Cambridge vice-chancellor Sir Leszek Borysiewicz said the new role followed large donations from the toy manufacturer. He said he has ‘accepted with gratitude a benefaction of £1.5m from the Lego Foundation, payable over three years, of which both the capital and the income may be used to support a Research Centre on Play in Education, Development, and Learning within the Faculty of Education over the same period’. The Lego Foundation is also ‘proposing to fund a Lego professorship of play in education, development, and learning with a benefaction of £2.5m’, the report said.’

Hitler watercolours to go under the hammer: “Watercolour paintings and drawings by Adolf Hitler from about 100 years ago are to go up for auction in southern Germany this month, an auction house said on Tuesday. Some of the works, which date from 1904 to 1922, are signed A. Hitler, the catalogue of Nuremberg-based Weidler auctioneers showed on its website. The 14 watercolours and drawings are expected to go under the hammer between June 18th and 20th for between €1,000 and €45,000 each. e most expensive is a painting of King Ludwig II’s Neuschwanstein Castle in Bavaria, now a tourist magnet. In November a watercolour painted by a young Hitler in 1914 of the city hall in Munich sold for €130,000 at a sale organised by the same auction house. The buyer wished to remain anonymous.”

Chinese farmer is a real caveman!: “A Chinese farmer spent six years digging himself a cave in a mountain after getting divorced from his wife. Xu Wenyi, 57, has now lived in the cave in Hunan province in southern China for more than a decade. He says it gives him peace and quiet, and the chance to ‘escape reality’, reported the People’s Daily Online. The cave, which measures 100 feet deep and 13 feet wide, is located in a mountain in Xiangtan County and even has its own front door. Photographs show the impressive depth of the rectangular cave and its sophisticated interior. It comes complete with its own kitchen made out of stone, an 85 square feet living room and even a chicken coop inside the cave. The ceilings and walls have been reinforced with concrete, and the walls have alcoves dug out of them as shelves for his personal belongings. He also made himself a garden by planting pine and cypress trees on the nearby land.”

Nutty white woman says she’s black: “Rachel Dolezal, the white NAACP leader who misrepresented herself as black for years, was pictured for the first time since the scandal surrounding her race erupted as she left her home on Friday. She also gave an interview about the controversy, saying of her detractors; “I don’t give two shi*s what you guys think.” You are so far done, and out, of my life’. When pressed further about her race, she told KREM; ‘I actually don’t like the term African-American. I prefer black, and I would say that if I was asked I would definitely say that yes I do consider myself to be black.’ It was also revealed that despite the public outcry, she is still expected to lead the NAACP meeting next week as she always does, with the organization completely behind her at this time.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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