Married life

June 5, 2015 at 5:04 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV.

When I heard my wife’s voice from the kitchen ask…

“What would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken, Beef or Lamb?”

I said, “Thank you, dear, I think I’ll have chicken.”

She replied , “You’re having soup, asshole. I was talking to the cat.”

..

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

British cop makes arrest in NYC Central park: “An off-duty British police officer running made an arrest mid-marathon after he spotted a crook fleeing the NYPD. PC Alex Courts, from Essex, was taking part in charity race through Central Park with 90 fellow officers from the UK London’s Met and British Transport Police last weekend when he spotted a man sprinting away from two of New York’s finest. Despite having already run ten miles, and being ‘a little out of breath’, the 28 year-old response officer sprinted after the suspect and tackled him to the ground. He was then able to restrain him until the officers from the New York Police Department arrived. Incredibly, once the man was arrested, the cop went back to complete the last three miles of the race. And even with the detour, the officer still managed to complete the race in three hours and ten minutes. The officer worked out that if he continued running at the same speed, the crook would end up running right in front of him. ‘ I rugby tackled him to the ground and held onto him until the officers got there.'”

People with autism have ‘supercharged’ brains: “It is a theory that challenges conventional views of autism. The mere mention of the condition evokes a stereotype – a socially-awkward child who struggles to comprehend the world around them. But growing evidence suggests that those children diagnosed with autism are in fact ‘hyper-functional’, possessing ‘supercharged’ brains that are acutely sensitive to the world around them. Now, researchers at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Lausanne, have shown that the brains of rats with autism are ‘unusually sensitive to rearing environment’. The authors note that ‘like an orchid, it (an autistic brain) requires specific conditions to flourish’. The scientists said: ‘These findings are consistent with the Intense World Theory of autism, which proposes that autistic brains process and store information excessively… together suggesting that a predictable enriched environment could provide a safe haven of structural anchors in a world of sensory and emotional overflow.’ It proposes that autism is the consequence of a supercharged brain that makes the world a painfully intense place.”

ISIS Bans Pigeon Breeding: Bird’s Genitals Are Offensive to Islam: “Senior clerics for the Islamic State of Iraq and al Sham (ISIS) have banned pigeon breeding, making it punishable by public flogging, because the sight of pigeons’ genitals as they fly overhead is offensive to Islam, the UK Daily Mail reports. Although the punishment for breeding pigeons is a public flogging, fines, or imprisonment, three of 15 boys who were arrested earlier this year for the practice were actually executed, because ISIS fighters believed their hobby kept from worshipping Allah. “All those who keep pigeons above the roofs of their houses must stop doing this entirely within a week of the date of the issuing of this statement,” ISIS said in an official document. “Whosoever violates it will be subject to consequences of reprimand including a financial fine, imprisonment and flogging.”

Man changes name to beat rogue airline: “A student changed his name by deed poll to go on holiday – because it was cheaper than fixing a Ryanair booking error. Adam Armstrong, 19, would have been forced to pay £220 – double the price of his flight – to correct a mistake by his girlfriend’s stepfather, who booked him a flight under the surname West. But he avoided the cost by changing his surname by deed poll to West for free and by getting a new passport under the name for £103, The Sun reported. ‘Her stepdad got my name from Facebook but I had put it as Adam West as a joke, because he was the actor who played Batman on TV,’ he told the paper. Ryanair said there would be a £110 charge for amending the name, but because his girlfriend was on the same booking, the administration fee would have had to be paid twice. Ryanair has previously been accused of luring customers with low fares but demanding sky-high fees for ‘extras’. The budget airline has imposed charges for anything from checking bags into the hold – at a cost of up to £75 – to checking in at the airport at £45.

London is the cocaine capital of Europe: “London is the cocaine capital of Europe, with the highest concentration of the drug in its waste water, a report revealed yesterday. Scientists found sewage in the city contained more traces of the class A drug than anywhere else surveyed. It is passed into the network in the urine of users. The amount peaks on Friday and Saturday, sampling by the Lisbon-based European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction showed. Then it falls off as the drug-using population recovers on a Sunday, and continues to go down as they return to work on Monday. The research found levels in London slightly higher than those in Amsterdam, with 737 mg for every 1,000 people in the British capital compared to 716 mg in the Dutch city. The next city in the league was Antwerp in Belgium, at 632 mg. Around one in 24 people aged between 15 and 34 in the UK admitted taking the drug in the last 12 months.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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