A good reply

April 26, 2015 at 5:01 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his 1911 Colt pistol and yelled, “I have a .45 Colt with an eight shot clip – and I want to know who’s been screwing my wife?”

A voice from the back of the room called out … “You’ll need more ammo!”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

The IKEA relationship curse!: “Many people might think that trust issues, long distances and cheating scandals are the biggest strains on a relationship. But they are wrong. It’s IKEA. A psychology expert has confirmed that shopping at or assembling furniture from the Scandinavian store chain can be a serious source of friction between a couple, thanks to the high levels of stress caused by both activities. ‘The store literally becomes a map of a relationship nightmare,’ Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist in Santa Monica, California, told The Wall Street Journal. ‘Walking through the kitchens brings up touchy subjects, like who does most of the cooking. Then you get to the children’s section, which opens up another set of issues. And that’s before you’ve even tried assembling anything,’ she said. Ramani revealed that so many couples admitted to her that they were prone to fighting while assembling furniture, that she decided to include furniture assembly in her therapy sessions. And her couples are not alone; a report by CivicScience states that 17 per cent of couples confessed that they would argue every time they assembled furniture together”

Beautiful Ferrari set to sell for £10MILLION: “A stunning convertible Ferrari which is almost identical to one that was famously destroyed in cult 1980s film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is expected to sell for £10million at auction. The 1961 Ferrari 250 GT SWB California Spider is widely regarded by many as the most beautiful convertible ever made. This car, however, is in significantly better condition and has recently undergone a full restoration by Ferrari in Maranello. One of just 16 in existence, it has a 3-litre V12 engine which develops around 280bhp. It will do 0-60mph in less than 7 seconds and hit a top speed of more than 150mph. It will be sold next month at RM Sotheby’s auction in Villa Erba, Italy, and has a guide price of around £8 million

Pets have their fur trimmed to make their heads square or circular as part of new trend: “It may look absurd, but a bizarre new dog grooming trend is beginning to take shape in Taiwan. The craze involves having your pet pooch shaped into a sphere or a square – with the desired effect being a more eye-grabbing and clean-cut look. In a method reminiscent of Edward Scissorhands’s trimming of a hedge, canine hairdressers in the Taiwanese capital Taipei are giving particularly furry customers outlandish makeovers. Pictures of doe-eyed dogs with their shapely new cuts have proved extremely popular online prompting more owners to seek out the custom salons. Many are now opting for the cuts simply to get more likes and shares on social media sites. Ms Yeh added: ‘The dogs don’t mind, and the owners keep coming back for more. This sort of haircut needs a lot more maintenance then the regular type. ‘It is also not suitable for all breeds. The dog needs to have plenty of hair to play around with so that you can shape it around the face and body.'”

Must not insult monkeys in India: “The monkeys of northern India’s Shimla region have a fearsome reputation – and as this video shows, for a very good reason. A teenager in the area has discovered the hard way that the locals should not be toyed with after his affront to a monkey left him sprawled on his back. Footage captured on a CCTV camera near an office in Shimla, India, shows the playful monkey first jumping onto a ledge to watch pedestrians wander past. The teenager wanders past the monkey, who eyeballs him from a ledge as he gives it the middle finger. Much like a human, the monkey interprets the gesture as an insult and responds by throwing himself at the teenager. Catching the teenager off guard, it lands with its feet directly in his face. He is sent sprawling onto the ground, while the monkey quickly bounds back up again to the ledge. Although he walked away from the incident unharmed, he sat in a state of shock for several moments while the monkey returned to his perch.”

Goldmine in Scotland?: “A tiny Scottish hamlet named Towie is bracing itself for the world’s next gold rush – after prospectors found evidence that it sits on major deposits. The remote community in Aberdeenshire does not even have a shop but local streams have been well known for grains of gold of ‘significant size’ for decades. Towie has been ignored by investors in favour of the oil industry but a two-year investigation has revealed the possible existence of gold deposits worth millions. Turkish mining giant Koza Altin Isletmeleri and a Highland firm GreenOre are now seeking planning permission for further investigation. GreenOre managing director Gavin Berkenheger, 31, said: ‘This area in Aberdeenshire has all the right hallmarks of a major deposit to be hiding underneath the surface. ‘We looked at the geology and found some really exciting rocks with potential for a large deposit. ‘Over two years we have found that the whole of Aberdeenshire is a ripe area for gold mineralisation. We’re just trying to locate where the gold deposit is.’ He added: ‘A 3.5million ounce gold deposit is currently being developed by Dalradian Gold in Northern Ireland. We hope to repeat this success.'”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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