See how patient the Irish are

April 14, 2015 at 1:49 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A London lawyer runs a stop sign in Dublin ,and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Irish cop.

He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop’s expense!

Irish cop says,”License and registration, please.”

London Lawyer says, “What for?”

Irish cop says,”Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”

London Lawyer says, “I slowed down, and no one was coming.”

Irish cop says,”Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please”

London Lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”

Irish cop says, “The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!”

London Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.”

Irish cop says, “Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.”

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living crap out of the lawyer and says, “Daeye want me to stop, or just slow down? ”

He has been promoted and moved to Boston.

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Amazing banking: “A MAN who lost his wallet containing just over $1000 in cash has had it returned to him 14 years later — with $1900 cash inside it. Ivica Jerkovic, of Makarska in Osijek-Baranja County in the Republic of Croatia, said he lost his wallet either at a party or when he was driving his friend to a hospital after the party in 2001, Croatian news website 24 Sata reported. He said the money in the wallet was meant for roof repairs to his home and he had given up thinking about the wallet many years ago. Then on Friday, he received a package in the mail containing a box with his old wallet, more than $1900 in cash and his personal identification inside. “I was speechless when I saw what it was,” Jerkovic reportedly said. He said he believes that the person who took the wallet was “in great financial trouble” at the time but had been able to recover. “I believe that this money saved him and for years he was calculating how much he should return to me,” he said.”

A remarkable woman: “An American woman proved that she is no arachnophobe when she posed with her rather snappy pet tarantula and allowed it to bite her hand. Footage shows exotic pet owner Kayonna Cole holding her female rose hair spider up to the camera as it digs its fangs into her skin. Clearly visible are the tarantula’s fangs, which it immediately begins to use to pinch away at Kayonna’s hand. Unflinching, Kayonna holds her hand steady as the tarantula removes its fangs from her skin and tucks them in slightly. Later in the video the spider begins pinching her once more and even appears to puncture the surface of her skin. But once again the spider’s owner remains remarkably calm and holds her hand still for the spider. She wrote: ‘Her bites were not painful, the after effects from the venom were more painful with the symptoms being slight redness of the skin surrounding the bites, soreness and itching. ‘This species of tarantula has low toxicity venom similar to that of a bee sting.’

Fiery Greek Easter: “As Orthodox Easter Sunday was held, thousands of homemade rockets were aimed at church towers in the Aegean island of Chios by rival parishioners in their traditional ‘mock war’. Dozens of brave souls even attend the late-night services inside the churches of Aghios Markos and Panaghia Erithiani while the annual battle is held – even when the structures and surrounding homes are ringed in defensive veils of chicken wire. Fortunately, severe injuries are rare in Vrontados during the fiery celebrations. Although small firework displays are held at churches around the country at midnight services on Easter Saturday – despite official disapproval from Church officials – Vrontados is in a league of its own, drawing spectators from all over Greece and abroad. The custom dates back to the 19th century, when the island was under Turkish occupation, but may have older roots. Preparations last all year, while on the Saturday morning participants parade their hardware through the village in lorries, honking their horns.

A man who never learns: “A man who has two failed marriages with Gambian women is hoping it will be third time lucky now that he is engaged to another woman he met in the country that he now calls home. David Tungate, 58, was left devastated after the marriage to his first Gambian wife broke down shortly after he brought her to the UK. He then remarried, but his second wife, also from Gambia, turned out to be a serial bigamist who conned him out of £24,000 of his retirement money and left him close to bankruptcy. Determined not to let the experiences put him off, David is now dating a third Gambian woman and is convinced his latest lady will prove to be third time lucky. The former van driver said: ‘I know people reading this might think I’m the most gullible man in Britain but I’m not bothered. ‘I may have been left with nothing from the last Gambian woman I fell in love with, but my new girlfriend is different. ‘She is wonderful and I feel blessed. It may be stupid but I always follow my heart.’

Mystery of the ‘alien’ radio signals solved: “For years, scientists have been trying to uncover the source of mysterious radio signals being picked up in Australia. Theories have ranged from evaporating black holes to extraterrestrial communication and mergers of neutron stars. Now researchers at the Parkes Observatory claim they have finally found the source of these ‘alien’ signals – in their kitchen microwave. Scientists knew the strange signals, known as perytons, originated somewhere near to the planet, but they had no idea just how close. In fact, the microwave was next door in the staff kitchen and visitors centre at the observatory. A brief burst of radiowaves can be generated if you open the microwave door before the timer goes off. This is because the devices that produces microwaves – known as a magnetron – won’t be completely turned off. As a result, the microwave oven briefly transmits radio waves into the open air.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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