Good Advice from an Italian Grandpa…!

March 22, 2015 at 3:31 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls for his grandson to approach the bed,

“Lissin a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome-plated .38-caliber revolver so you will always remember me.”

The grandson smiles weakly and replies, “But Grandpa, I really doana lika guns. Howzabout you leava me you ROLEX watch instead?”

Gasping for air, the old man answers with a snarl in his voice, “Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business. You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home, and maybea a couple of bambini.”

After a slight pause to catch his breath he continues, “Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.

Whadda you gonna do then…pointa to your watch and say ‘Time’s up?’

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Girl tries to poison mother twice for taking iPhone: “Police arrested a 12-year-old Colorado girl accused of trying to kill her mother twice by poisoning her with bleach for taking away her iPhone, authorities said. Boulder County Sheriff’s Commander Heidi Prentup said in a statement that the mother drank the caustic fluid on one of the two attempts, which both happened within a week this month. On March 2, the girl poured bleach into a breakfast smoothie that she had prepared for her mother, Sheriff Prentup said. “Mom noticed an odor of bleach in the drink and thought her daughter had cleaned the glass prior to making the beverage and did not rinse all the bleach out,” the police statement said. A similiar incident followed four days later. Sheriff Prentup said the mother reported the girl to police, and that investigators then gathered enough evidence to take her into custody. The girl was taken to a juvenile detention facility on Friday where is being held pending the filing of charges”.

The true secret of a long life is Dr Pepper: “A Fort Worth woman turned 104 this week, and she credits a very special doctor for her good health and longevity: Dr Pepper. Elizabeth Sullivan fell in love with the 23-flavored soft drink 40 years ago, when she was in her 60s. ‘People try to give me coffee for breakfast. Well I’d rather have a Dr Pepper,’ she said. ‘I started drinking them about 40 years ago. Three a day. Every doctor that sees me says they’ll kill you, but they die and I don’t, so there must be a mistake somewhere.’ Larry Young, the CEO of Dr Pepper Snapple Group, gave Sullivan a big surprise for her birthday on Wednesday: a cake designed to look like the carbonated drink’s can, a gift basket and plenty of bottles of the pop to drink, according to CBS Dallas Fort Worth. As she reveled in excitement from the day, Sullivan reflected on her age. ‘Well at 103 I didn’t think I’d make it, but I’m still perking along,’ she told CBS. ‘When you live to be 104 and can still talk to nice people, you deserve some Dr Pepper, but I never expected this.’

Why men REALLY prefer big bottoms: “Modern man’s preferences for women with a curvy backside has been traced back to prehistoric influences. It found the ‘theoretically optimal angle of lumbar curvature,’ is a 45.5 degree curve from back to buttocks. This allowed ancestral women to better support, provide for, and carry out multiple pregnancies. ‘What’s fascinating about this research is that it is yet another scientific illustration of a close fit between a sex-differentiated feature of human morphology — in this case lumbar curvature — and an evolved standard of attractiveness,’ said the study’s co-author David Buss, a University of Texas at Austin psychology professor. ‘This adds to a growing body of evidence that beauty is not entirely arbitrary, or ‘in the eyes of the beholder’ as many in mainstream social science believed, but rather has a coherent adaptive logic.’ The research was published online in Evolution and Human Behavior”

61-year-old woman looking for missing cats under her bed touches hidden burglar who leaps up and escapes: “A Florida woman who was looking around the house for her cats found something much larger and more dangerous underneath her bed. The 61-year-old Palm Springs resident was reaching down to find her two missing moggies when she felt the skin of 5’10”, 25-year-old suspected burglar Christian Vatovec [above]. Vatovec, who lives in nearby Lake Worth, leaped up after being touched and went through the home’s backdoor before jumping over a fence and escaping. Police found the suspect, who faces charges of burglary to an occupied dwelling, grand theft and resisting arrest without violence, near a canal by the house, according to Local 10. The 61-year-old hairdresser, named locally, said that a gold ankle bracelet and digital camera with an estimated value of $800 were missing from her home after the Tuesday incident. Vatovec was taken back to the scene of the suspected crime by police and identified by the woman. He was being held in lieu of $53,000 bail as of Friday”.

Remarkable pictures show dozens of people scaling four-storey building to pass relatives notes during high pressure school leaving exams in India: “Authorities in eastern India have been left embarrassed after images of people scaling the walls of a school exam centre to pass notes to relatives were broadcast on national television. The images show dozens of people clinging to the windows of the four-storey building in the eastern state of Bihar, where more than 1.4million teenagers are sitting their leaving exams. Other images showed police officers and school staff doing nothing and simply standing by as people passed study aides to candidates inside examination centres. The students sitting the tests face tremendous pressure because they must pass the exams to continue their education. The images went viral on Twitter and made national headlines, but Bihar’s education minister P. K. Shahi refused to accept any blame for the cheating. He said: ‘You tell us what can the government do to stop cheating if parents and relatives are not ready to cooperate? Should the government give orders to shoot them?'”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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