Some brief reports

March 21, 2015 at 9:17 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

* While I sat in the reception area of my doctor’s office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist’s desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother’s lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man’s, he said, “I know how you feel. My Mom makes me ride in the stroller too.”

* As I was nursing my baby, my cousin’s six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, “My mom has some of those, but I don’t think she knows how to use them.”

** Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. “In ten years,” I said, “you’ll want to be with your friends and you won’t go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now. Carolyn shrugged. “In ten years you’ll be too old to do all those things anyway.”

*** Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day, I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her injection.
“No, no, no!” she screamed. “Lizzie,” scolded her mother, “that’s not polite behavior.” With that, the girl yelled even louder, “No, thank you! No, thank you!”

**** On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, “Dad, I know babies come from mommie’s tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?”
After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, “You don’t have to make up something, Dad. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer.”

***** Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. “I’m going to be away for a long time,” I told him. “I’m going to Iraq .” “Why?” he asked. “Don’t you know there’s a war going on over there?”

****** Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood diseases. One afternoon, he and is wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn’t know Newman was a famous movie star, explained, “That’s the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you’ve seen his picture on this salad dressing bottle?”
Blank stares. “Well, you’ve probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.” An eight-year-old girl perked up. “How long was he missing?”

******* And my personal favorite… God’s Problem Now!!! His wife’s graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there.”




Odd news from around the world

Are grumpy old men a MYTH?: “Hollywood has given moviegoers many classic portrayals of grumpy old men. But new research suggests that getting older doesn’t necessarily make people cynical and suspicious. In fact, it can make them more trustworthy. Researchers examined the association between age and trust at multiple points in history, using a sample of 197,888 individuals from 83 countries. The results suggested a positive association between age and trust, one that has existed for at least the past 30 years with little change over time. ‘Our new findings show that trust increases as people get older and, moreover, that people who trust more are also more likely to experience increases in happiness over time.’ The studies, combined into one research paper, have been published online in the journal “Social Psychological and Personality Science”.”

Elderly couple get compensation for a “rowdy” holiday: “A Parish councillor has won a £400 payout from Thomas Cook after booking what he thought was a ‘relaxing holiday’ to a Greek party island where he was housed with ‘boozed up’ youngsters at a Club 18-30 hotel. John Moore, 56, from Herne in Kent, planned to spend a week on the island of Zante with his partner Angela, 51, in September. Rather than the peaceful break they were hoping for, the couple, who run a sweet shop in Herne Bay, Kent, were booked into Christina Studios in the resort of Laganas in Zante, advertised as an 18-30 clubbing destination. After spending two nights in the hotel where youngsters were ‘banging on the walls and screaming and shouting’, the couple abandoned the package holiday for something more quiet. They have since been awarded £400 in compensation by the holiday company. Mr Moore decided to launch legal action when they failed to act, and was recently offered £400 after requesting a summons from a judge. Among reviews of the apartments online is one which warns: ‘Don’t bother if you are over thirty as it’s too noisy.'” Thomas Cook apologised for the couple’s experience in September.”

Pranksters put cheap IKEA print in art gallery and ask people to value it… with some saying it is worth nearly £2million: “A group of pranksters managed to trick more than a dozen art lovers into thinking that a cheap print from IKEA was a valuable work of modern art. Dutch YouTube jokers lifehunterstv took a £7(10 euro) print and placed it in an art museum in Arnhem, and asked visitors what they thought of the ‘painting’ and how much it could be worth. Several art fans praised the IKEA print, with some valuing it to £1.8million(2.5million euro), before being told of the hoax. They told visitors the painting was done by famous Swedish artist ‘IKE Andrews’, and, according to the pranksters, all of the nearly 20 people interviewed bought the lie.” One man praises the print for its ‘constructiveness of things on top of each other, inside each other’. Another visitor, a man in a flatcap, beard and glasses, claims he can ‘clearly see that it concerns a form of symbolism’, adding that the artist has a ‘beautiful spirit’.” ‘The whole day everyone thought our “painting” amazing,’ the team behind the prank says.”

Youngsters with matching hands found to be smarter: “Children with matching pairs of hands are quicker-witted than those whose hands are less symmetrical, research has shown. They are able to react faster in mental tests, even after accounting for age and gender differences, scientists found. The findings suggest a link from an early age between body symmetry and brain performance. Previous studies have shown that men with more symmetrical faces are likely to experience less mental decline as they age. Lead researcher Professor Ian Deary, director of the Centre for Cognitive Ageing and Cognitive Epidemiology at Edinburgh University, said: ‘The connection between physical symmetry and reaction times could be an important clue to health and well-being over a person’s life course. The scientists studied 856 children aged four to 15 whose hand symmetry was measured using a digital scanner. Reaction times were assessed by means of a computer test, the journal Developmental Psychology reports.

‘Busy’ police find time to tackle DIY speed sign: “Police told a pensioner that they were too busy to deal with speeders using his road – but turned up within 30 minutes after he put up his own warning sign. Officers in Newbury, Berkshire, claimed they ‘did not have the resources’ to monitor motorists outside pensioner Richard Baker’s terraced home. So he made a ‘Max Speed 20mph’ sign and stuck it on the roadside –only to find an officer on his doorstep demanding that he remove the notice half an hour later. Mr Baker, 71, said he and his partner Rosemary Cribb fear someone will be knocked down and killed by the ‘mad’ drivers. ‘No one will do anything about the speeding, but put up an illegal sign and all of a sudden you get the police banging on your door,’ he said. ‘All I want to do is stop people speeding before there’s a tragedy – somebody’s got to do something about it. Mr Baker’s road was made a 20mph zone in 2010 after repeated requests from worried residents and local councillors.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


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