The polite Italians — Yes, Italians

January 23, 2015 at 3:01 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather, Abdullah, in a nursing home. All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian home.

After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa. How do you like it here?” asked the grandson?”

“It’s wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful,” said grandpa.

“We’re so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you since you are a little different from everyone.”

“Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents”, Abdullah said with a big smile.

“There’s a musician here – he’s 85 years old. He hasn’t played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him “Maestro”! There is a judge in here – he’s 95 years old. He hasn’t been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him “Your Honor”. There’s a dentist here – 90 years old. He hasn’t fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him “Doctor”!

And me I haven’t had sex for 45 years, and they still call me “The F*cking Arab”.




Odd news from around the world

German court rules men DO have the right to stand up while urinating: “A German court today ruled men do have the right to urinate standing up. The finding was made after a landlord claimed their tenant ruined their marble floor by sprinkling it with urine. Attempting to retain part of the tenant’s €3,000 (£2,300) deposit, the landlord argued their bathroom floor was eaten away by uric acid. The debate about whether men should stand or sit is no laughing matter in Germany. Some toilets in the country have red traffic-style signs forbidding the standing position. There is also a derogatory term for men who sit and pee – ‘Sitzpinkler’ – which implies that it is not masculine behaviour. Judge Stefan Hank in the city of Duesseldorf said men who insist on standing ‘must expect occasional rows with housemates, especially women’. But he added that they cannot be held to account for collateral damage.”

Danish man proves he is still a weightlifting champion… at the ripe old age of 95: “At 95, an elderly man from Denmark is still able to lift weights that most people a quarter of his age wouldn’t be able to budge from the ground. Even more astonishingly, it was only two-and-a-half years ago that powerlifter Svend Stensgaard was rushed to hospital after having a heart attack. Yet a video filmed of him working out at the gym – in a room full of boys young enough to be his great-grandchildren – proves just how fit and healthy he is in later life. Both standing and lying on his back, he is seen shifting a whopping 290 pounds of weight as he controls his breathing to establish a rhythm. Mr Stensgaard says in the interview that exercising, which releases a lot of stress-fighting endorphins, is comparable to a ‘dosage of morphine’ for him.”

A really shocking story: “Abandoned poodles that were found in such an appalling condition that at first the RSPCA did not even realise they were dogs have undergone an amazing transformation. The nine animals were found in such a poor state – with long matted hair covering their faces – that officers struggled to identify what breed they were. The pets, found across Winchester yesterday, were unable to see or stand and appeared to be just mounds of rags as they cowered in a huddle. All of the poodles, which are worth up to £500 each, had to be shaved by vets, who found that each animal weighed a staggering 12 kilograms – almost half of what their whole body weight should be. Each dog took around three hours to shave. The council has seized legal control of the animals while a new home for them is found and they are nursed back to health. Abigail Toms, environmental health manager for Winchester City Council, said: ‘On Tuesday night, three were found on Morestead Road, Winchester. ‘We will make assessments of welfare needs and decide where best to place them.’

Stupid stunt: “The Doomsday Clock’s minute hand has been moved two minutes closer to midnight as experts warn we are closer than ever to a global catastrophe. In a live international news conference, the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (BAS) said that the threat of climate change and nuclear war posed a very serious threat to modern society. Their symbolic clock is now set at three minutes to midnight, but while they say it is not too late to avert disaster ‘the window for action is closing rapidly’. Key topics discussed included evidence of accelerating climate change and the increasing threat of nuclear war after failed promises from various international governments. ‘The danger is great but our message is not one of hopelessness,’ Kennette Benedict, executive director of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (BAS), said in the announcement. ‘We find conditions to be so threatening that we are moving the hand two minutes closer. It is now three minutes to midnight,’ she continued.”

Wacky Scottish government says mothers must not breastfeed at an event designed to support breastfeeding: “Mothers invited to a conference on breastfeeding were told by the government it was ‘not appropriate’ to breastfeed at the event. The Scottish government invited dozens of volunteers and NHS workers to the event. But mothers who asked to bring babies to the conference were told by officials the venue ‘is not designed to accommodate breastfeeding’. Ms Stirling, who lives in Falkirk, told MailOnline: ‘Their reason for turning us away was very flaky, implying I would still be welcome without my baby. ‘I replied that this was still discriminatory (and illegal, if they followed through on it) and the ​next reply I got was a group email to multiple respondents saying that they had updated the arrangements and it was now suitable.” ‘There was no apology or admittance of guilt provided in the final email, just an assurance that the matter had been resolved.'”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


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