10 POINTS TO PONDER

November 5, 2014 at 12:36 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Number 10
-Life is like a roll of toilet paper. It goes faster toward the end.

Number 9
– Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8
– Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7
– Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6
– Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5
– Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4
– Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3
– All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2
– In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1
– Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do or say today might burn your ass tomorrow.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Grandfather who had UK’s first hand transplant can now tie his own shoelaces, carry his granddaughter and now plans to drive a manual car: “The man who became the first person in the UK to have a successful hand transplant says he now is on the way to being ’75 per cent recovered’. Mark Cahill, 53, made history when he had the operation on Boxing day 2012 at the Leeds General Infirmary. The father-of-one, from Greetland, West Yorkshire, had lost the use of his right hand – and some from his left – when it became infected during a severe attack of gout, a condition he had suffered for 20 years. Surgery to cut the infection out had left him with a paralysed hand – and he had been forced to give up his job as a pub landlord. As his condition deteriorated, it became virtually impossible to do anything. The operation, painstakingly performed by a team led by plastic surgeon Professor Simon Kay, was a success – and ‘transformed’ Mr Cahill’s life.”

Is she Ukrainian or Russian?: “The propaganda war between Russia and Ukraine took a turn for the bizarre after a busty Crimean model was voted Russia’s top natural beauty. Maria Zarring, who has a natural 34K bust, was born in the Crimea, the Ukrainian region now run by the ethnically Russian population. But Ukranian commentators have accused Russia of choosing the 28-year-old only because they wanted to humiliate Ukraine, and they are insisting that her breasts are not natural. Ukranian commentators have accused Russia of choosing the 28-year-old only because they wanted to humiliate Ukraine, and they are insisting that her breasts are not natural. But model Maria says she wants no part of the furore. She said: ‘I am not interested in politics.’ ‘I am proud of my boobs, I am proud of my body, I am proud of my title and I am proud of my homeland.'”

British oldster left with SPIKES for teeth for more than 10 YEARS as dentists argue over who should treat him: “A pensioner has been left with three metal spikes sticking out of his gums for more than a decade, as dentists argue over who should treat him. David Heys from Bradley, had an operation to install special implants in his gums to fix his dentures in place. But the work, which was carried out in the late 1990s, is now causing the 79-year-old severe problems, leaving him unable to eat solid food. Mr Heys claims he has been dismissed at every turn in his quest to seek help, being referred from one specialist to another. His dentist, Gencare in Huddersfield said it does not have the expertise to solve the problem. But after waiting months for an appointment at specialist hospital, the Leeds Dental Institute, Mr Heys said he was told to go back to his normal surgery. No sooner than he did that was he referred back to the Leeds hospital again. He claims he has been dismissed by every part of the health service, being referred from one specialist to another. Calls to the patient advice service Healthwatch Kirklees and his MP have failed to bring any assistance.” [Isn’t socialized medicine wonderful?]

The bird that sings like a HUMAN: “The hermit thrush may well be the Beyoncé of the bird world thanks to its tuneful melodies, a study has revealed. Scientists have discovered that the North American songbird sings in ‘harmonic series’, a pattern of pleasing-sounding notes commonly used in popular human music. By studying how birds sing, experts hope to learn how much of human musical heritage is shaped by biology, compared to culture. A harmonic series stems from a base note and is followed by notes that increase in pitch, based on multiples of the original note. Scientists found that around 70 per cent of the bird’s songs followed this pattern, Smithsonian reported. Male hermit thrushes (Catharus guttatus) sing between six and 10 types of song, which tend to be high-pitched and fast, beginning with a long whistle, the study revealed. ‘Listening to the songs full speed, they are very attractive, but we didn’t have any inkling that we would hear the harmonic series in them,’ Dr Doolittle said. But after they slowed them down, the harmonic series patterns became clear and statisticians analysed the bird’s choices of pitch in the song.”

Future of the speedboat? Electric catamaran ‘flies’ above water at up to 25mph without making a noise: “A super-slick, catamaran-like craft is being touted as the 21st century answer to the speedboat. The Quadrofoil uses C-shaped hydrofoils to lift the craft out of the water, allowing it to reach a top speed of 25mph (40kph). The shape of the four foils creates lift, to haul the vessel above the surface of the water and travel with minimal water resistance and in turn very little noise. Marine engineers from Slovenia, who invented the craft, described it as ‘a thrilling yet quiet and eco-friendly watercraft’. ‘Its silent motor and zero emissions enable it to ride on lakes, rivers, seas & eco-zones where most motor boats and PWC’s are not allowed. No noise, no waves, no emissions.’ The craft costs €22,500 (£17,586 or $28,144) and will be shipped in March next year. It is powered by an electric motor and will cost less than 80p ($1.3) an hour to run.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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