You May Be A Preacher If:

September 27, 2014 at 5:45 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

You’ve worn a necktie into a creek.

You’ve dreamed you were preaching, only to awaken and discover …you are.

You’d rather negotiate with terrorists than with the church organist.

A church picnic is no picnic.

You’ve wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

You’ve been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

You wanted to give the soundman some feedback of your own.

You wanted to lay hands on a deacon and you weren’t thinking of praying for him.

You feel like you’re herding mules instead of shepherding sheep.

It’s your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Greek woman ‘buried alive by accident and died before she could be rescued’: “Police in northern Greece are investigating a cemetery worker’s testimony that a woman was buried alive and cried for help from her grave – only to die before being rescued. The man and two visitors to the cemetery told police officials that they heard banging and muffled shouts from inside the 49-year-old cancer patient’s grave late yesterday, an hour after her funeral. By the time the coffin was dug up and smashed open, the woman showed no further signs of life. A doctor summoned to Peraia cemetery outside Thessaloniki pronounced her dead. The mother of two had been first declared dead at a private Thessaloniki clinic earlier the same day. A coroner will examine the body. The dead woman’s relatives are considering filing a complaint against the doctors who treated her at the cancer clinic.

Pregnant tiger allowed a tiny fawn to LIVE!: “Don’t play with your food – that’s what we’re always told when we’re younger – but this huge tiger must have missed that message. The consequences, though, are adorable – these stunning images show the carnivorous beast frolicking about with a tiny fawn – who can’t quite believe its luck. The baby deer might have been saved by maternal instinct – as the tiger was pregnant, and showed absolutely no interest in turning it into a tasty meal. Amateur photographer and call centre worker Pawan Menon captured the images while on safari. The photos show the two unlikely friends running together for around half an hour through the trees and long grass in Tadoba Andhari Tiger Reserve in Maharashtra, central India. Even though the tiger was in no mood to eat, the fawn was still visibly frightened. Mr Menon said it even made an attempt to run but the tiger caught it, carried it gently in its mouth and took it back to the spot they were sitting. ‘The two were together for half an hour playing, running and jumping. Then the tiger gently carried the fawn by its neck – as it would carry its own cub – and eventually started nudging it to run away,’ he added.

Extreme advertising!: “Swiss alpine, climbing and outdoor company Mammut know how to show off their equipment in spectacular fashion. The sports group have created jaw-dropping photographs of ski-jumpers, climbers, trail runners and mountain guides braving precarious precipices and heart-stopping descents in the Swiss mountains over the years, all captured by mountaineering photographer Robert Bösch. For their most recent stunt, Mammut has paid homage to the first ascent of the Matterhorn as mountain guides traced the route over the Hörnligrat ridge in a chain of lights, just like the roped party with Edward Whymper before them. Other incredible visuals have been created by climbers perching precariously on a needle-like mountain to crate a ‘rock cactus’ in the Bregaglia range, forming an ‘X’ on the steep slopes on the North Face of the Eiger, and standing on the narrow ledge of Kleines Kamel to test mountain boots.

Woman fends off bear with a strong eye: “Emily Miles was walking her two dogs in an avocado grove in Santa Barbara, California, when the six-foot animal burst out of the trees and reared onto its hind legs. She ran but not fast enough to out-manoeuvre the bear, which took one swipe of its claw that shredded her shirt, leaving three-inch-deep wounds. Hitting the ground, she cracked a rib as the beast took a bite out of her thigh. Incredibly, as Miles thought she was on the brink of death, she then stared the bear in the eye – and it cowered onto all fours before retreating into the woods.”

Builder unearths vast treasure trove of 22,000 Roman coins: “An amateur metal detectorist has unearthed one of the largest hoards of Roman coins ever found in Britain. Laurence Egerton, 51, made the discovery as he explored land near Seaton, in East Devon – and he was so concerned someone would steal it, he camped out for three nights while archaeologists excavated the site. Dubbed Seaton Down Hoard, the collection of 22,000 copper-alloy coins is thought to have been buried by a private individual or soldier for safe keeping, but was never recovered. In addition to being one of the largest hoards – behind the Frome Hoard of 52,503 found in 2010, and a hoard of 22,703 found in Nether Compton in Dorset in 1989 – Mr Egerton’s discovery is also one of the best preserved 4th century collections to be dug up. According to Devon County Archaeologist, Bill Horner, the Roman copper-alloy coins date back to between AD 260 and AD 348 and bear the images of Emperor Constantine, his family, co-Emperors and immediate predecessors and successors.” At the time the hoard was buried, it would have amounted to four gold coins, or solidi, which would have provided the ration of two soldiers for one year, or a worker’s pay for two years.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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