Young Larry

September 2, 2014 at 6:07 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!” After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Larry?” “No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.. “What’s the matter”, asked Larry “Giving up?”

The math teacher saw that Larry wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?” Larry quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”

Larry’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. “Yes” said the policeman. “The detectives want very badly to capture him.” Larry asked, “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?” His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.” Larry, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the Milkman wants to buy Mom ……..”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Japan prepares for toilet paper shortage: “Japan’s government has urged people to stock up on toilet paper, saying that more than 40 percent of the nation’s supply comes from a high-risk earthquake zone. The Trade and Industry Ministry promoted speciality toilet paper for emergency use as part of events marking national disaster prevention day on Monday. Government and industry officials said 41 percent of the country’s toilet paper supply comes from Shizuoka, central Japan, one of Japan’s most earthquake-prone areas. Toshiyuki Hashimoto, an industry ministry official in charge of paper products, warned of a nationwide toilet paper shortage crisis for about a month if the area is hit by an imminent mega-quake in Tokai, a lesson learned from the deadly March 2011 earthquake and tsunami in northern Japan. Hundreds of thousands of Japanese take part in an annual safety drill every September 1 – the anniversary of the 1923 Great Kanto Earthquake in Tokyo that killed more than 140,000 people.”

Classic car that was first to hit 100mph set to fetch nearly £200,000 in auction : “A rare car that was the first to top 100mph in the UK and bought second-hand for just £115 is now expected to sell for up to £180,000 at auction. There are only around 30 of the early sidevalve 30-98s known to have survived and the car is one of only two with its type of coachwork, made by Grosvenor Carriage Co.Ltd, of Kilburn, London. Mr Ferguson’s 30-98 is now set to fetch between £150,000 and £180,000 at a Bonhams auction at the National Motor Museum in Beaulieu, Hampshire, on September 6. The Vauxhall 30-98, one of the greatest sports cars of the twentieth century was the first in the UK to top 100mph in production form. Fitted with a 4,525cc side-valve four-cylinder engine, producing 90bhp, this Vauxhall was made in two basic types, E-type and the more powerful OE-type, built between 1923 and 1927.”

Radioactive wild boar roaming the forests of Germany: “Twenty-eight years after the Chernobyl nuclear disaster, its effects are still being felt as far away as Germany – in the form of radioactive wild boars. Wild boars still roam the forests of Germany, where they are hunted for their meat, which is sold as a delicacy. But in recent tests by the state government of Saxony, more than one in three boars were found to give off such high levels of radiation that they are unfit for human consumption. They are believed to be a legacy of the Chernobyl nuclear accident in 1986, when a reactor at a nuclear power plant in then Soviet-ruled Ukraine exploded, releasing a massive quantity of radioactive particles into the atmosphere. Even though Saxony lies some 700 miles from Chernobyl, wind and rain carried the radioactivity across western Europe, and soil contamination was found even further away, in France. Wild boar are thought to be particularly affected because they root through the soil for food, and feed on mushrooms and underground truffles that store radiation.”

Hero cat saves family from fire: “A family have thanked their pet cat after escaping from a house blaze with just seconds to spare. Caroline Noble, 30, her husband, Adi, 29, and their three children had been fast asleep when their fridge freezer burst into flames. The blaze tore through their home but their fire alarm failed to go off – despite being tested just two weeks before. It wasn’t until their seven-year-old Bengal cat Simba started to repeatedly meow that Mrs Noble woke up to find smoke billowing through her home. The full-time mother was able to gather her family and flee the property – just seconds before it was gutted by the flames. The mother-of-three, from Sudbury, Suffolk, said: ‘We owe our lives to our cat. It was just before 6am and we were all in bed. ‘When he woke me I couldn’t see anything because there was so much smoke. I don’t think we would have survived.

Odd way to sell a house: “When this one-bedroom property in Ipswich was first listed online, estate agents accidentally included a picture of a pig snoozing in the living room. In another image of the detached home, which is on the market for £120,000, a cat can be seen perched on the oven. The pig, which belongs to the house’s current owner, is pictured resting on a thread-bare rug near a TV in the open plan lounge area in the Ipswich property. The pig, which belongs to the house’s current owner, can be seen resting with its head on the sofa next to a filing cabinet and makeshift washing line. When the photo first appeared online, people took to Twitter to speculate whether the animal was included in the asking price. The property, on Britannia Road, also boasts a bathroom, entrance hall, separate toilet and loft bedroom. The photo of the pig, which was posted on Rightmove, was later removed by estate agents Connells, who listed the property.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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