Leaping to conclusions

April 23, 2014 at 12:17 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband. For example….

The wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the sheets she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the sheet as hard as she can.

Leaving the covered bodies groaning, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

“Hi, sweetheart”, he says. “Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say, Hi?

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

African kid survives flight in the wheel compartment of a jet: “A 16-year-old boy who apparently survived unscathed freezing temperatures and a lack of oxygen after a five-hour flight from California to Hawaii stowed away in the wheel well left medical and aviation experts perplexed and divided on Monday night. While experts questioned how the boy had survived, the FBI said that security camera footage had shown the unnamed teenager scaling the perimeter fence at California’s San Jose airport on Sunday morning and walking towards a Hawaiian Airlines Boeing 767 that took off shortly afterwards for Kahului airport on Maui island. Five hours later airline officials said the boy was found dazed but otherwise unhurt wandering on the tarmac at Kahului, after flying halfway across the pacific at a maximum altitude of 38,000ft where outside temperatures descended as low as minus 80F.”

The bird that can speak JAPANESE: “Can talking birds speak languages other than English? The answer is a resounding ‘yes’, highlighted in this video where a Common Hill Myna is seen chatting in Japanese. Called Abe Chan, the bird has become an internet sensation thanks to his grasp of the language, although whether it understands what it is saying remains to be seen. The bird can be seen responding to a phone call. Ohno then engages in conversation with the bird, showing off its surprisingly competent grasp of words and phases in Japanese. This particular species of bird it known as the Common Hill Myna. It is an animal of ‘least concern’ in terms of conservation according to the IUCN. The bird is known for its distinctive jet-black feathers in contrast to its orange beak and yellow markings on its head.”

Girl sleeping in bed killed by car: “A 16-YEAR-OLD girl was killed by a suspected drunk driver who slammed his car into her apartment as she slept in bed. It is believed that 20-year-old Roberto Rodriguez was drunk when he slammed into two apartments in Palmdale, Los Angeles, killing Giselle Mendoza, 16. A 14-year-old girl who lives in the adjoining apartment to Giselle had a very lucky escape with her father saying she had fallen asleep on the couch that night instead of in her bedroom, which Rodriguez’s car also slammed into. One eyewitness who called 911 said he helped detain Rodriguez until police arrived. “I saw a car coming down 10th, east, about 80-85 mph, and it didn’t stop or hesitate. Just right into the building. Boom,” James Fisher King said. “You would hear her moaning, kind of, inside the wall. He went through two apartments.”

Cashpoint thieves swarm around middle-aged tourist near Notre Dame cathedral in Paris and take his money: “With the bells of Notre Dame heralding a glorious Easter Sunday morning, a tourist uses a cash point a short stroll from the ancient Paris cathedral. Within seconds he is surrounded by an aggressive gang of Roma sneak thieves, who make no secret of what they want from him. Feeling hands on his back and arms, the middle age man turns around in horror to see the utterly fearless gang casually trying to help themselves to his money. Such scenes have become so common in the French capital that police last week called for the ‘systematic eviction’ of Roma. Groups of thieves, many of them teenagers, swarm around the main tourist landmarks day and night. ‘They respect nobody – they just want money or anything else they can steal,’ said another tourist who witnessed the incident at the cashpoint between Notre Dame and the Louvre museum, in the 1st arrondissement.”

Council slammed by cyclists after bike lane of just 13 FEET is painted on street: “Cyclists have criticised a new bike lane – for being just 13 feet long. The cycle lane was painted in Beetwell Street in Chesterfield earlier this month. But it has already been slammed by the town’s cycling community, some of whom have branded it an ’embarrassment’. Measuring 13 feet, it means the cyclist has to cycle off the path almost immediately after they have got on. Bike commuter Will Jones, 22, said: ‘It makes the council a laughing stock really. ‘Why on earth would anybody need a cycle lane so short? It’s stupid.'”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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