Elder memory

April 19, 2014 at 1:53 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

While on a road trip, an elderly couple, stopped at a cafe in Cornwall for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up for a single minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, ‘While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card’.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

A chocolate hijack: “A Finnish man attempted to ‘hijack’ a plane using a Toblerone chocolate bar, demanding to be taken to Sochi so he could watch the Winter Olympics. Antti Oskari Manselius, 23, from Finland, had wrapped two economy class blankets around his head, wearing a third as a cape when he waved the chocolate bar ‘like a sword’ as he walked towards the cockpit. ‘He said, ‘I am robbing the plane now. I want to see the Olympics in Sochi and I need to get off the plane now,’ attendant Leung Hiu-lun was quoted as telling the court. ‘He was furious. He made me feel like he was trying to endanger the aircraft.’ Leung said the passenger was not violent, only waving the bar as he talked. Leung told him the service was a direct flight and would not stop in Russia. Manselius was later handcuffed under the orders of the captain. Manselius was arrested in Hong Kong and sent to a psychiatric centre”

A real pissed parrot: “He loves beer, red wine, headbanging to Status Quo and kicked out his girlfriend because they kept arguing but this Jack the Lad is a parrot. Six-year-old blue and gold macaw Jack loves popping down to his local pub for a pint of best and once got so drunk on Rioja he fell off his perch. But he is at his happiest when he’s rocking out and squawking all over the world to his favourite band Status Quo. Owner Norie MacKinnon, of East Kilbride, Scotland, said: ‘He loves Quo. He headbangs to them all the time. They’re his favourite band. ‘It’s hilarious when he gets going, his bangs his head back and forward in time with the music. He even tries to sing along to songs like Whatever You Want but it just comes out as a squawk. ‘He likes other music – he’s quite keen on Billy Idol and he likes a bit of jazz – but Status Quo are far and away his favourite.'”

The 200-year-old hot cross bun: “This hot cross bun looks good enough to eat but taking a bite could spoil your Easter – as it’s 207 years old. Andrew and Dot Munson keep the archaic bun in a cardboard box at their house near Colchester in Essex. The treat, which represents the Crucifixion and is traditionally eaten on Good Friday, was given to them by a neighbour 30 years ago. But a distinguished historian has uncovered evidence which suggests it was baked in 1807 and belonged to a medical practitioner by the name of Edward Holdich. ‘I think it’s a miracle it never went mouldy or fell apart in all these years,’ said Mr Munson, 75, from Wormingford. ‘You couldn’t eat it though as it is rock hard – like a ball of concrete.’ The clincher was an old, brown envelope that is still kept with the bun and which states it was baked in Weir Street, Colchester in 1807. Mr Phillips said: ‘The handwriting fits the date given as it is written with a quill pen and is in regency style, which preceded the copperplate of the Victorian era.”

Albino kangaroo gives birth to dark joey at German zoo: “This albino kangaroo has given birth to an adorable dark joey at a German zoo. Alberta, one of the most famous residents at the Marlow Animal Park, was captured carrying her baby joey in her pouch at the reserve. The rare Bennett’s tree kangaroo is one of the star attractions at the park in eastern Germany and stands out due to her snow white coat and bright pink ears. But despite their fluffy appearance, albino kangaroos like Alberta aren’t expected to survive for long if they live in the wild. The marsupials’ startling white coats are believed to attract a higher number of predators, including wild foxes, dogs and even eagles. Albinism – characterised by a lack of the pigment melanin – is extremely rare within the kangaroo species, similar to other species.

Pathetic frog: “Francois Hollande’s chief spin doctor was forced to resign today after it emerged he kept 30 pairs of handmade shoes at the Elysee Palace and had them professionally polished on taxpayers’ money. Details of Aquilino Morelle’s high living plunged the beleaguered Socialist president into yet another sleaze scandal. Mr Morelle, 51, was accused of being a ‘little marquis’ in the way he enjoyed an extravagant lifestyle while working for a left-wing head of state who ‘dislikes the rich’. According to the investigative website Mediapart, PR chief Mr Morelle was not only infamous for his upmarket shoe collection, but helped himself to numerous perks at the Elysee. This included regularly raiding vintage bottles from the palace’s extensive wine cellar, and the use of two chauffeurs to ferry his family around Paris. Mr Morelle is also accused of a conflict of interest in the way that he allegedly breached ethical guidelines for civil servants by working for pharmaceutical companies in 2007 while also a senior official in the ministry for social affairs.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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