I know I shouldn’t — but:

March 25, 2014 at 2:01 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

His lawyer’s got a hard job ahead of him. Realistically, it looks like Pistorius hasn’t got a leg to stand on.

Oscar clearly misunderstood when his girlfriend told him that on Valentine’s Day he had to take her out.

Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty due to temporary diminished responsibility. He claims he was legless at the time of the incident.

Whatever happens in court, he still has a career. The IOC say he’s a front runner at the next Olympics for pistol shooting.

Police reconstruction indicates that Pistorius lost it when, for his Valentine’s Day gift, his girlfriend gave him a pair of socks.

New Valentine’s Day card: “Roses are red, violets are glorious. Never creep up On Oscar Pistorius.”

Too many Oscar Pistorius jokes already. Trying to come up with a new one is like taking a shot in the dark.

Looks like he has an expensive lawyer. I hope he can foot the bill.

New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend’s murder……………. Footprints!

She didn’t notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.

I see what Pistorius is doing. He is going to jail for 25 years and when he gets released… Bam! President of South Africa. That’s how it works over there, right?

When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able-bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?

First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius. I think Nike should start telling their athletes ” Just Don’t Do It.”

Hollywood are doing his life story; it’s now going to be called Blade Gunner.

If found guilty he’s gonna have to take it on the shin.

And finally,

Anyone making jokes about Oscar Pistorius is just prosthetic!

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Mystery of the killer dog disease: UK death toll hits 21: “A MYSTERY disease killing dogs across the country continues to claim victims and baffle vets. Nearly 50 pets of various breeds are feared to have contracted it in the last 18 months, with 21 dying. Symptoms include skin lesions on the legs and chest, lethargy, loss of appetite and vomiting. Within days, the illness attacks the kidneys, often leading to a long drawn-out death. Half of the confirmed cases have centred around the New Forest in Hampshire, although others have occurred as far afield as Yorkshire, Cornwall, Worcestershire, County Durham, Surrey and Dorset. Experts have been left perplexed by the outbreak, but think the disease is similar to Alabama Rot. Alabama Rot is the common name for idiopathic renal glomerular vasculopathy, a disease which surfaced in greyhounds in Alabama in the 1980s. It is believed to be caused by a rare form of E.coli.”

The most ridiculous vehicle ever: The Prombron SUV: “MOVE over Hummer, there’s a new beast in town. The Prombron SUV by the eccentric Latvian-based car maker Dartz Motor is going global. After conquering the US market, the insane car model is on its way to dominate China. The “six-zero” price tag means only members of high society have access to the monster vehicle, which have been snapped up previously by Kanye West and Kim Kardashian to ferry their precious offspring around. The Chinese market apparently has a bunch of uber rich dying to get their hands on the ridiculous machine. The Prombron is armoured to war-grade, allowing it to withstand attacks from grenades and landmines and comes in a variety of models. The four-tonne vehicle has bulletproof windows, Bang & Olufsen televisions and sound systems, diamond and ruby encrusted gauges, an exterior coating of reinforcement material and is powered by a Mercedes-Benz AMG-sourced V-12 engine.”

Flatworm invasion could wipe out Britain’s ENTIRE snail population: “The New Guinea flatworm, a vicious predator that overwhelms snails in a ‘gang attack’, was spotted in Europe for the first time this month. Experts fear that it could soon travel into Britain, hidden in one of the thousands of potted plants imported every month. There are no known methods for controlling the flatworm. The flatworm, also known as Platydemus manokwari, eats a variety of invertebrates including land snails. It is relatively large, about 40 to 65 mm in length and about 4 to 7 mm wide. Its body is however quite flat, being less than 2 mm in thickness. The worm has had several effects on the environments it is introduced to. In the Pacific Islands, several native land snails have either gone extinct or their numbers have drastically reduced.

Is this Britain’s least punctual plane? The Wizz Air Luton to Budapest flight that has NEVER left on time: “The flight hasn’t left on time on one single occasion since it first launched back on June 1, 2013. That equals a staggering 293 consecutive late departures, according to flight data specialists EUclaim. The flight makes 927 mile journey every day except Christmas Day and has left passengers delayed by anywhere between two minutes and 12 hours and 18 minutes. On one occasion the A320 plane was even cancelled altogether. Flight delay compensation specialist Bott & Co said passengers on nine of the late-running Wizz Air flights would be able to claim compensation under EU Regulation 261/2004. Fifteen individuals from the qualifying flights (in June, July, October and November 2013) have already approached the law firm to represent them against the airline and are in line to receive €250 (£215) each.

Supermarket builds cash machine just 15 INCHES off ground: “The ATM has been installed outside a Sainsbury’s Local in Nottingham and, since it is the only one available outside the store, customers have been left with little choice but to use it. It means they have to squat or kneel to get down to the level of the keypad.’ Musician Steve Drury, 27, was one of several who spotted the ATM and posted a picture on social media. ‘I couldn’t believe it,’ he said. ‘It was just so low to the ground and a man using it was squatting to try to get his money out. ‘The poor guy must have done his back in. It looked incredibly uncomfortable.’ Sainsbury’s were unable to shed any more light on the situation, saying merely that the cashpoint ‘is located on a hill, which caused it to be built so low to the ground’. When asked to clarify, a spokesman refused to explain further, saying merely: ‘Our statement says it all’.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Advertisements

Leave a Comment »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: