Wisdom (?) about wives

January 29, 2014 at 3:13 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her — David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.. Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. — Socrates

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, What does a woman want? — Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. — Sigmund Freud

‘Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’ — Anonymous

‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.?? It’s called marriage.’ — Sam Kinison

‘I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.’ — James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming?
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up. — Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…. Nash

You know what I did before I married?? Anything I wanted to.– Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met — Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.– Rodney Dangerfield

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

NZ man fights off shark, stitches himself: “A NEW Zealand man has survived being attacked by a shark: driving it off with his knife, stitching his own wound onshore and going to the pub for a beer before heading to hospital. Junior doctor James Grant was spearfishing with friends near Colac Bay at the base of the South Island on Saturday when he was attacked by what he believed was a seven-gill shark. The 24-year-old was in about 2m of murky water when he felt a tug on his leg, which he initially thought was a mate playing a trick on him. However, he wasn’t scared. “(I thought) bugger, now I have to try and get this thing off my leg.” He already had a knife in his hand and stabbed at the shark. “I am not sure how effective it was. I guess it let go so something must have happened, put a few nicks in it.” He quickly made it onto rocks on shore. He gave himself stitches using a first aid kit he kept in his vehicle for pig hunts. He and his friends then went to the Colac Bay Tavern, where he was given a bandage because he was dripping blood on the floor. The stitching was finished off when he went to Invercargill Hospital, where he was back at work on Monday.”

Marlboro man dies of smoking disease: “Eric Lawson, who portrayed the rugged Marlboro man in cigarette ads during the late 1970s, has died. He was 72. Lawson died on January 10 at his home in San Luis Obispo of respiratory failure due to chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, or COPD, his wife, Susan Lawson said on Sunday. Lawson was an actor with bit parts on such TV shows as Baretta and The Streets of San Francisco when he was hired to appear in print Marlboro ads from 1978 to 1981. A smoker since the age of 14, Lawson later appeared in an anti-smoking commercial that parodied the Marlboro man and an “Entertainment Tonight” segment to discuss the negative effects of smoking. Susan said her husband was proud of the interview, even though he was smoking at the time and continued the habit until he was diagnosed with COPD. “He knew the cigarettes had a hold on him,” she said. “He knew, yet he still couldn’t stop.” A few actors and models who pitched Marlboro brand cigarettes have died of smoking-related diseases. They include David Millar, who died of emphysema in 1987, and David McLean, who died of lung cancer in 1995. [72 is not a bad lifespan, though. Many die sooner]

World’s tallest woman saved from paralysis and going blind after doctors remove huge tumour from her brain: “The world’s tallest woman might finally stop growing after doctors removed a tumour from her brain. Siddiqa Parveen, who is estimated to be 7ft 8in tall, travelled nearly 1,000 miles from her village in West Bengal for doctors in Delhi to save her life. Before the operation, the 28-year-old had a spine ‘on the verge of breaking’ and was losing her sight as a result of her continuous growth. Siddiqa suffered from gigantism brought on by the tumour, which was located on the pituitary gland, causing it to produce excess growth hormone. She already had fractures in her spine and has been unable to stand up straight for years – and doctors in India believed if left untreated her increasing weight would cause her back to snap. They also feared the ‘massive’ tumour would cause her to go blind, forcing them to transport her from her remote village in West Bengal to Delhi. Neurosurgeon Dr Ashish Suri, of the All India Institute of Medical Sciences, where Siddiqa was operated on, said the operation had been a success.”

?Photos from Egyptian pharaoh Ramesses’ royal tomb three thousand years after its creation: “These colourful images were taken in the final resting place of Ramesses IV, who succeeded to the throne in about 1156 B.C. but reigned for only six years. And more than 3,000 years after its creation, the tomb, located in East Valley of the Kings in Thebes, Egypt, retains its extraordinary beauty. Ramesses IV inherited the throne after the assignation of Ramesses III but took over in a time of economic decline and as a result, while his tomb is large, it is considered relatively simplistic in design and decoration. Photographer Andrey Nekrasov, from Ukraine, was able to obtain permission from the Egyptian Government to special snap the murals using a flash. He added: ‘It is very difficult to get permission to photograph inside the crypt of a Pharaoh in the Valley of the Kings – but I managed it.”

Bobby the cocker spaniel can recognise money… and knows how to spend it too: “Bobby the cocker spaniel has realised that his good looks alone will persuade passers-by to part with their cash. Now the dog from Changchun, the capital of Jilin Province in north-east China, has become a local celebrity for his remarkable talent for recognising money – and spending it. Each day Bobby hangs around the lottery station run by his owner Wang Chun, waiting for generous looking customers. As soon as he sees one taking out cash for tickets, he knows to turn on the charm. If someone gives him a one-yuan note he will pick it up in his mouth and rush to a nearby grocery store to buy his favourite snacks, which include sausages and chicken wings. According to Mrs Wang, the eight-year-old has bought snacks for himself for the past five or six years. She adds that Bobby can’t be fooled. If a piece of paper along with a currency note were put before him he would always pick up the note. And if a small note and a large denomination note were put in front of him he would take the large one.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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