COUNTRY LIFE

May 22, 2013 at 8:28 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

When you’re from the country you look at things a little differently…..

A rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm
and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.

“Is your Dad home?” the rancher asked.

“No sir, he isn’t,” the boy replied. “He went into town.”

“Well,” said the rancher, “Is your Mother here?”

“No sir, she’s not here either. She went into town with Dad.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No sir, he went with Mom and Dad.”

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” the boy asked politely. “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad.”

“Well,” said the rancher uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant.”

The boy considered for a moment. “Well Sir, you would have to talk to Pa about that,” he finally conceded. “If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don’t know how much he gets for Howard.”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Sinkhole swallows man on forklift in New Jersey warehouse: “A FORKLIFT operator is lucky to be alive after an indoor sinkhole opened up and swallowed him inside a warehouse. The man was working when 2.4-metre deep sinkhole gave way beneath him in a East Rutherford, New Jersey warehouse, reports NBC4 New York. The man was rescued and taken to hospital with minor injuries. Rescuers said the forklift may have saved his life, preventing him from being crushed by shielding him when he fell. The entire warehouse was evacuated after the entire floor sank into a 12-metre by 12-metre sinkhole.

Rare 19th century torpedo discovered — by a dolphin “A rare, antique torpedo that was last fired almost 120 years ago has been uncovered at the bottom of the ocean – by a dolphin working for the US Navy. The bottlenose, named Ten, found the brass relic, known as the Howell torpedo, during a routine patrol and reconnaissance training mission off the coast of California. The US Navy employs dolphins – and some sea lions – to scour the depths for mines, shipwrecks and enemy divers. But 19th century naval weaponry is a particularly rare find, especially one that has lain undisturbed on the ocean bed since 1895. In its heyday, the 11-foot Howell torpedo was considered a masterpiece of innovation and one of the most technologically-advanced pieces of military hardware in the US Navy’s arsenal. Fired from above water or through submerged torpedo tubes, it could cut silently through the water at speeds of 25 knots and sink an unsuspecting enemy warship from up to 700 yards away.”

Breast shaped pizza means the lads are donating to breast cancer charity in their droves: “BREAST-shaped pizzas are the latest menu item causing offence at a Brisbane topless bar. The Grosvenor on George owner Jasmine Robson said she had a special breast-shaped cutter made for the pizzas, with all the flavours named after the hotel’s topless barmaids. “Why not? Life’s too short not to play with your food,” she said. “Guys love them. It’s hilarious watching everyone take ‘selfies’ with their pizzas.” Ms Robson said if people were offended by the pizzas, the solution is simple – don’t buy one. She is also donating $1 from every pizza sold each month to a breast cancer charity. “So it is more than fitting that they are shaped like womens’ breasts.”

Car thief caught by owner: “A US woman who had her car stolen has spotted it going through the Drive-Thru while working at a McDonald’s fast food eatery. According to Washington newspaper Tri-City Herald, McDonald’s staff member Virginia Maiden’s SUV was stolen from her unit complex but she saw it just hours later as its occupants ordered a meal from the store. Maiden then reportedly called the police, who later arrested the 22-year-old driver of the stolen SUV at the McDonald’s on West Canal Drive in Kennewick. According to the report, the car was filled with stolen clothes, and the driver was taken into custody at Benton County jail.”

Big bird: “An Essex livestock owner claims to have reared the biggest cockerel in the world on a diet of popcorn. At more than 2ft (26ins) tall the one-year-old Brahma bird, named Little John, terrifies small children. But it could get even bigger as it is expected to continue growing until its second birthday. Jeremy Goldsmith, the cockerel’s owner, claims it is a world-beater because he also reared the previous biggest, called Melvin and measuring 24ins tall. Little John roams the 10-acre grounds of Mountfitchet Castle in Stansted, Essex., where he is fed crisps and popcorn from visitors. Mr Goldsmith, 45, said: “Little John looks massive compared to the other cockerels and chickens we have on the estate. “I think he has grown so big just because he is treated well and you don’t get more free range than here. “The kids often feed him sandwiches and crisps, but his favourite has got to be popcorn. Brahmas are an Asiatic breed of chicken that originated from birds exported through Shanghai in China and were known as “Shanghai” birds”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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