All was not as it seemed

April 26, 2013 at 6:58 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman stared straight ahead.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman stared straight ahead.

The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque and that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the woman “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.”

The woman calmly looked up at her and said, “No, he didn’t. He just walked in the door.”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Nasty British parking cops: “An angry motorist who screwed up a £30 parking ticket and threw it at a police community support officer has been fined £850 – for littering. Timothy Sawyer, 64, was slapped with the penalty notice by a PCSO when he parked his Ford Fiesta on a single yellow line in the market town of Horncastle, Lincolnshire, in July last year. A court heard Sawyer screwed the ticket up into a ball and threw it at the officer telling him: ‘I will f****** well park here.’ He then drove off down the high street, leaving the £30 fine lying in the road. Sawyer refused to pay the charge within seven days and turned down several requests from East Lindsey District Council (ELDC) for the money. He was charged with a littering offence but failed to appear at Skegness Magistrates Court last Thursday. The case proceeded in his absence and found him guilty of littering after hearing evidence from Police Community Support Officer Keith Briggs and a council enforcement officer. Sawyer, who had indicated a not guilty plea in a letter presented to the court, was fined £200, ordered to pay costs of £637.61 as well as a £15 victim surcharge.

The mysterious dancing plant: Video shows bizarre shrub as it violently sways from side to side on a day with NO WIND: “A South Carolina couple were spooked when they discovered a strange plant violently swaying on it’s own during a recent trip to the countryside. Jason Freeman and his wife were out riding near Hilton when they came across the bizarre plant rocking back and forth despite there not being a breath of wind in the air. ‘OK that is really starting to creep me out,’ says Freeman, who began filming the weird occurrence. ‘It’s not wind. Look at it go.’ The footage shows the man pan his cell phone camera around to show that nothing else is moving on what appears to be a completely still day. He then comes back to focus on the plant, which is still swinging from side to side. At one point, the man tries to stop the plant moving with his hand, and manages to keep it still for a moment. But sure enough, it quickly resumes its metronomic swaying once he’s let go.”

MD: Baltimore guards, inmates indicted for gang corruption: “In what could have been a season of The Wire, a federal indictment unsealed Tuesday accuses 13 female guards of collaborating with a Baltimore jail gang to smuggle drugs, cellphones and other banned goods into the city’s main detention centers. The leader of the gang, the Black Guerrilla Family, also had sex with several guards and got four pregnant, according to the indictment, which also names seven inmates and five others with gang connections.”

Samurai sword-wielding bishop comes to woman’s aid: “A SAMURAI sword-wielding Mormon bishop has helped a neighbour escape an attack by a man who had been stalking her. Kent Hendrix woke up on Tuesday morning to his teenage son pounding on his bedroom door and telling him somebody was being mugged in front of their house in Salt Lake City, Utah. The 47-year-old father of six rushed out the door and grabbed the weapon closest to him – a 29-inch high carbon steel Samurai sword.He came upon what he describes as a melee between a woman and a man. His son stayed inside to call 911 while he approached the man along with other neighbours who came to help. The martial arts instructor didn’t hesitate in drawing the sword and yelling at him to get on the ground. “His eyes got as big as saucers and he kind of gasped and jumped back,” Mr Hendrix said by phone. “He’s probably never had anyone draw a sword on him before.”

Forget the cologne and witty one-liners, it’s all about how men speak that attracts women: “Chaps, forget the expensive cologne and witty one-liners, the way to a woman’s heart could be as simple as lowering your voice. Scientists have found different vocal traits are instinctively associated with body size, attractiveness and friendliness. They discovered the most desirable male voice for British women is deep, rumbling and breathy, indicating the ideal blend of masculinity, strength, with a hint of tenderness. While for women wanting to attract a British man, their delivery should be high-pitched and breathy, which signals to the male psyche they are petite and, controversially, open and submissive. According to Dr Xu, breathiness as seen as sultry in women, and tender in men. It is also more common in younger women, which may add to its appeal. ‘Even for males, if you want to be attractive to females, it is better to be breathy than aggressive in terms of voice quality. But in pitch, we found it is more attractive to be low, which indicates masculinity,’ he said.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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