Panties on a planeDecember 21, 2011 at 6:10 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
Three large black ladies were getting ready to take a plane trip for the very first time.
The first lady said, ‘I don’t know bout y’all, but I’m gunna put me on sum hot pink panties beefo’ I gets on dat plane.’
Why you gonna wear dem fo?’ the other two asked. The first replied, ‘Cause, if dat plane goes down and I’m out dare laying butt-up in a cornfield, dey gonna find me first.’
The second lady said, ‘Well, then I’m a-gonna wear me some floe resant orange panties.’ ‘Why you gonna wear dem?’ the others asked.
The second lady answered, ‘Cause if dis hare plane is goin’ down and I be floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first.’
The third lady says, ‘Well, I’m not gonna wear any panties.
What? No panties?’ the others asked in disbelief. The third lady says, ‘Dat’s right girlfriends, you hears me right. I ain’t wearing no panties cos, honey, dey always look for da Black Box first’
Odd news from around the world
Mother-of-five loses presents for her children after loading them into the WRONG car: “A mother-of-five who mistakenly loaded her children’s Christmas presents into the trunk of the wrong car is counting on the kindness of its owner to return the missing items this season. Linda Gipson, of Ypsilanti, Michigan, was overloaded with $700 worth of merchandise during her shopping trip to Twelve Oaks Mall in nearby Novi, so she put her bags in what she thought was her daughter’s car before returning inside. But when she finished shopping an hour later, she returned to the parking lot to find the car she had filled up with gifts was gone. She said a similar silver 2003 Focus parked nearby opened with the same key as her car. Mrs Gipson told ABC News she and her husband reported the incident to mall security, who in turn called police. But until the stranger behind the wheel of the other car comes forward, several items will be missing from under the family tree, including a pair of boots, perfume, sweaters, a hat and a scarf – and two gifts Mr Gipson had bought for his wife.”
Teenage model, 16, killed herself under train ‘after boy cancelled their cinema date’ by text message: “A schoolgirl threw herself under a train after receiving a text message from a boy cancelling a trip to the cinema, an inquest heard yesterday. Gabrielle Joseph, 16, told friends on Facebook: ‘I am going to kill myself tonight’ because she was so upset at being turned down for the date, due on the following night. The young model died little more than an hour later. She had ambitions of being a top model, and on her own website wrote: ‘In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.’ An inquest heard that she had been left ‘distressed’ by the text at 8.15pm last Easter Monday cancelling the date and that 75 minutes later she died from multiple injuries after she was hit by the train near her home. Gabrielle wrote a three-page Facebook message to friends telling of her upset at the text from a boy who cancelled their movie date for the next night. Within an hour she was hit by the 75mph Milford Haven to Cardiff train.”
Teenager dubbed ‘Spider-ned’ climbed down 14-storeys outside tower block to escape police: “A teen dubbed ‘Spider-ned’ after he scaled the outside of a 14 storey block of flats to evade police was today told his liberty is ‘hanging by a thread’ by a sheriff. Connor McLeod, 16, climbed out of a window and down the side of the block in Dallfield Court in Dundee, dashing away after he arrived safely on the ground. He then got involved in a stand-off with police when he was later found on the fourth-floor ledge of another building, Dundee Sheriff Court was told. The bizarre chase started when police arrived at McLeod’s flat to check he was sticking to a bail curfew. He was allowed to collect his jacket from the living room but when he failed to return officers entered and found the window open. They looked out and saw him climbing down scaffolding on the multi-storey block. Given the height, further police units were summoned.” The court was told that McLeod ‘simply panicked’ before making his escape.”
Man dies after eating cocaine from his brother’s butt: “A man who persuaded his brother to eat an ounce of cocaine after they were arrested is to be charged with causing his death. Wayne Joshua Mitchell, 20, collapsed and died an hour after ingesting the drug as he sat in the back of a police car. His 23-year-old brother, who was captured on a police video cameras urging his brother to eat the drug, has been charged with his death. Deangelo Rashard Mitchell is heard on the police film telling his younger brother that if he is caught with the drug he will spend the rest of his life in prison. Mitchell then appears to hand off the cocaine, which was stuffed in his buttocks, to his brother.”
Shellshocked! Giant tortoise sets the pace for her 45 babies… but who’s the daddy?: “With 45 babies to look after, it’s to be hoped that Kali the tortoise lives up to her name, which means ‘energetic’. Currently just four inches long, these hatchlings are African Sulcatas, the third largest tortoise species in the world, and will eventually grow to between 24 and 36 inches long, and weigh up to 200lb. Kali, aged 30, laid two clutches of eggs in March and April in Linton Zoo in Cambridgeshire. A female usually lays between 15 and 30 eggs, not all of which hatch, and the species can live for up to 70 years. A zoo spokesman said it was unclear which of their four adult males is the father. ‘One has travelled the world with its former owner having been rescued as a hatchling from children using him as a football in Mauritania, Africa.”
And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.