Some good answers

July 30, 2010 at 3:12 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

JFK’S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60’s when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.

Rusk responded, “Does that include those who are buried here?”

DeGaulle did not respond.

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When in England, at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of ’empire building’ by George Bush. He answered by saying,

“Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.”

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There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying, “Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?”

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: “Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?”

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A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, “Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?”

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, “Maybe it’s because the Brit’s, Canadians, Aussie’s and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.”

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Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

“You have been to France before, monsieur?” the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

“Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.”

The American said, “The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.”

“Impossible.. Americans always have to show their passports on arrival in France !”

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ”Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn’t find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to.”

..

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Middle-aged women ‘more sexually active’: “Middle-aged women are more sexually active and enjoy better orgasms than younger women, according to the latest scientific research. Researchers found that more than half of 18 to 30 year-olds struggle to find satisfaction between the sheets – a much higher proportion than those aged between 31 and 54. And the most sexually active groups is 31 to 45 year-olds (87 per cent) – ahead of 18 to 30 year-olds (85 per cent) and 46 to 54 year-olds (74 per cent). But an alarming two-in-three women suffer from sexual dysfunction with the problems rising with age in all categories – apart from orgasm. This bucked the trend with problems higher among 18 to 30 year-olds (54 per cent) than in the 31 to 45 (43 per cent) and 46 to 54 (48 per cent) age groups. It then soared to 66% in 55 to 70 year-olds and 87 per cent for the over 70s.”

The tubby British man who’s the bane of TV reporters: “Paul Yarrow’s face, and physique, are more suitable for radio – but that has not stopped him in his relentless pursuit of a glittering TV career. The stocky balding man has so far appeared on British TV more than 100 times this year, in news reports for BBC1, ITV, Channel 4, Sky News and Al Jazeera. The trouble is none of the channels wanted him there, the Daily Mail reports. Dressed in his wrinkled sweater, Mr Yarrow stands – or wanders – wordlessly behind the reporters with a quizzical look on his face. Mr Yarrow, 42, appeared in several live Sky News reports from a protest outside the BBC TV centre in west London throughout that afternoon and evening. A few weeks later, he appeared with a shopping bag in the BBC’s London news reports. When asked about his dogged efforts to appear on TV, Mr Yarrow was philosophical. “I’m trying to make a statement: ‘Be who you are.’ I’m just a common person in the street,” he told the Daily Mail, adding that that there were too many beautiful people on TV”

Hidden treasures found in man’s underwear: “British border control officials caught an Italian man trying to smuggle ¬£10,000 ($17,000) out of Northern Ireland in his underwear. The man was stopped by border control officials on July 23 as he boarded a flight to Rome from Belfast International Airport. The cash – which consisted of British Pound Sterling and Euro notes – was discovered in the man’s underwear, pockets and wallet. The UK Border Agency said today the man was not able to provide a “reasonable explanation” for why he was carrying such a large amount of cash. “The money was detained under the Proceeds of Crime Act and will only be returned if he can provide proof to a court that the money came from a legitimate source.”

Baby drowns at baptism: “Police are investigating the death of baby boy who drowned in front of his parents when a baptism in Moldova went horribly wrong. Six week-old Laurentiu Gaydeu was dipped under the water three times as 20 members of his family looked on proudly, Pravda reported today. However, the holy ceremony turned to horror when the priest forgot to cover the youngster’s mouth as he submerged him. Family members including Laurentiu’s parents, Ludmila and Dmitry, became anxious when they noticed the baby was looking unwell. But the priest allegedly dismissed their concerns and pushed on with the baptism in Mihaileny, a small village in the Rishcansky district of Moldova. It soon became clear the child was showing no signs of life. Laurentiu was rushed to the hospital but medics were unable to revive him, the online Russian newspaper said.”

Parrot scares off burglars with piercing screech: “A crime-fighting parrot scared off a gang of burglars by screeching loudly during a night-time raid. Thieves who prised open the front door of a house in London’s Docklands were shocked to be met by the owner’s pet bird. The parrot, named Kuzya, let out a piercing screech that could be heard streets away, prompting the robbers to turn on their heels and flee. Gennadi Kurkul, 42, the bird’s owner, said that his neighbours were full of praise for the noisy green Lory parrot. He said: “They reached in through a window and managed to open the door and get in. “But they must have disturbed Kuzya. He let out a massive scream. You could hear it all over the Docklands.” All the burglars managed to seize during their 4am raid was Mr Kurkul’s wallet, which had been left close to the window.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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