A broad hint

April 20, 2010 at 5:42 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

THE NEWS

Earthquakes caused by promiscuous women: “A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes. Iran is one of the world’s most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric’s unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate. “Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi said.”

Migraine left British woman with Chinese accent: “A woman, 35, has picked up a Chinese accent after being treated in hospital for a migraine attack. The Mirror reports Sarah Colwill’s West Country accent has switched to a Chinese accent. She told the paper yesterday: “I have never been to China. It is very frustrating and I just want my own voice back but I don’t know if I ever will. “I moved to Plymouth aged 18 months so I have always spoken like a local. But when I had my attack last month an ambulance crew told me that I sounded Chinese. “Since then I’ve had friends hang up on me as they think I’m a hoax caller. I speak in a much higher tone, my voice is all squeaky. I’m having speech therapy but don’t know if the Chinese accent will ever go away.”

Britain exports food!: “Exports of food and non-alcoholic drinks rose by 4.4pc to a record £9.65bn in 2009, bucking the overall decline in manufacturing exports last year. Still, growth was considerably slower than the 19.8pc rise in 2008. Big brands such as Typhoo tea and McVitie’s digestive biscuits are in demand in North America and Australia, and smaller companies are also thriving on export success, such as Dorset breakfast cereals and Angelsey Sea Salt Company, whose smoked salt is used in the salted caramels favoured by US President Barack Obama. The best-performing sector was soft drinks, where exports increased by 20.6pc to £318.6m last year. The other category to grow by more than 10pc was fish and seafood, which increased by 15pc to £1.16bn. Fresh salmon exports jumped 42pc. The biggest customer is Europe” [Maybe British food is not so awful after all!]

Thief Caught With Fish Hooks in Backside: “A German thief who broke into an angling shop had some bad luck when he fell and sat on a number of fish hooks. He was quickly caught because he was in too much pain to run. Police said their job was made even easier because the store’s price tags were still attached to the hooks embedded in his bottom. “He couldn’t run because he was in a lot of pain and was drunk,” Gunda Dreesmann a spokeswoman for the Cloppenburg police, told SPIEGEL ONLINE. One of the hooks later had to be removed in hospital.”

Genitals caught in flying fox but man remains stoic: “A New Zealand man got a very personal part of his anatomy stuck in a flying fox at a children’s playground in Christchurch this week, sparking a series of safety checks by the local council to avoid a repeat of the incident, according to reports. The 30-year-old became entangled in the equipment when a malfunction caused the mechanism to move on the impact of the man hitting the end of the flying fox line – trapping his nether regions, The Star reported. Fire crews called to the playground at Bishopdale Park had to dismantle the flying fox seat to free the man. They said he had remained “stoic” despite being in quite a lot of pain. A flying fox is an aerial conveyor belt or suspended carrier operating on cables.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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