In brief ….

November 30, 2012 at 11:29 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Son says to his father, Dad, I’m gay.

Dad looks at his other son and said What about you? Other son replies, Me too, Dad.

Dad said F##k me, doesn’t anyone in this f##king family like pussy?

Daughter pipes up, “I do…”!…

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10 Afghans were killed in a road accident.

At the Pearly Gates, St Peter says, “If any of you are paedophiles you can piss off down to Hell.”

As nine of them start to walk away, St Peter calls out “And take this deaf bastard with you.”

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In the pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath.

Answer; throw in your washing.

We were all having a good laugh about this, when this big bastard tapped me on the shoulder and growled:

”Hey, I dont find that very funny. My brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath during one of his fits.”

I said ”Sorry, friend. Did he drown?”

“Nah,” he replied, “He choked on a sock.”

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The missus said to me last night “Love, if you turn the bedside lamp off I’ll take it up the ass.”

Guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool down first…

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The missus came out of the bathroom and said, “’I’ve just shaved my pussy and you know what that means don’t you?”

I said ”Yeah, the f##kin’ plug hole is blocked again.”

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Nearly shagged a Ladyboy last night. Picked him up in a night club. He looked like a woman. Smelt like a woman. Danced like a woman.

Even kissed like a woman, but when we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one easy movement.

That’s when I thought: Hey, wait a f###ing minute…..…

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I saw my mate Charlie this morning; he’s only got one arm, bless him.

I shouted: ”Where you off to Charlie?”

He said, “I’m off to change a light bulb.”

Well I just cracked up, couldn’t stop laughing. …then I said, “That’s gonna be a bit awkward, innit bro’?”

“Not really, he said, I still have the receipt, dickhead !”

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Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Yikes! Bacon-scented shaving cream!: “A bacon-scented shaving cream has hit the market, so men can carry the smell of fried pork with them wherever they go. Its makers, J&D’s Foods, claim it will make users ‘smell and feel like a champion’. However one customer who tested the lotion at Earl’s Cuts in Seattle, Washington, sounded a little unsure about the meaty aroma, telling The Seattle Insider ‘I feel like I’m in a skillet’. The new product, which launched yesterday, is described as ‘high end’ and ‘luxurious’ and the U.S. brand adds that men should use it after a hot shower or before an ‘important date’. Justin Esch and Dave Lefkow, the men behind J&D’s Food, have only created 2,500 jars of their $14.95. Bacon Shaving Cream. Mr Lefkow said: ‘This is something that every bacon loving male needs. You’re going to smell good, you’re feel good and you’re probably going to taste good.’

Facebook can’t tell the difference between an elbow and a breast: “What’s the difference between an elbow and a breast? For Facebook, not much. The social network recently removed a misleading photo of a woman in a bathtub because it mistook her elbow for a bare breast, according to “Theories of the deep understanding of things”. The Facebook page posted the photo as a way to test Facebook’s terms of service, which prohibits the posting of “pornographic” content. “FB moderators can’t tell an elbow from a dangerous, filthy, uncanny and violent female breast,” the page said. “No questions were asked and the post is down.” After realising its blunder, Facebook later restored the photo. In a statement, the company told gossip blog Gawker, “We made a mistake and sent an apology to the original poster.”

Bosses more likely to hire someone they fancy, study finds: “Employers are more likely to hire people they fancy, researchers claim, as they find “leisure pursuits, background and self-presentation” are more important than skills. Women in the workplace have fought a long battle to prove their skills, experience and CV are the only keys to their success. But their efforts may have been in vain, as a study find good looks, a winning smile and a little gentle flirtation may be the key to securing a job after all. Bosses would rather hire someone they find attractive and enjoy spending time with than the perfectly-qualified candidate, it has been claimed. A study, conducted by American sociologists, has found interviewers at banking, law and management consultancy firms consistently prefer applicants they “feel good around”. More than half of employers claim attractiveness, the right social background and how candidates spend their leisure time are the most important considerations when hiring”

Rise of the moustache implant: “For many men, the constant struggle to tame their facial hair with a razor is something of a nuisance. But an increasing number of men in Middle Eastern countries are seeking innovative ways of achieving a hairier upper lip, with a boom in moustache implants. The innovative treatment is proving popular with men from in the Arab world, where moustaches are seen to convey wisdom and maturity. One plastic surgeon based in Turkey said that patients are flocking from Middle Eastern countries to receive the treatment. Selahattin Tulunay said that he performs the procedure, known as follicular unit extraction, between 50 to 60 times every month. The intricate procedure involves the surgeon taking a clump of hairs from areas of more dense growth, before they are implanted in the moustache area.

The French abandon wine: “There are many foods that you might think of as quintessentially French: baguettes, snails, a slice or two of fromage, garlic, onions and of course frogs’ legs. But when it comes to choosing drinks that sum up the Gallic experience, there is only one contender: a large glass of vino. But in reality, the French are falling out of love with their most famous tipple, official figures show. Fewer than one in five French adults – 17 per cent – now drink a glass of wine every day, the statistics from France’s ministry of agriculture reveal. Caroline Plot, the official who oversaw the research, said the trend owed much to increasing awareness of the perceived health dangers associated with regular consumption of alcohol – particularly liver disease – along with the nation’s economic troubles. ‘There has also been a real shift in consumption habits: fizzy drinks and fruit juices are taking the place of wine on the French table,’ she added. In 1980, wine would be served at, on average, one meal in two. By 2010 that had fallen to one in four.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Some youthful wisdom

November 29, 2012 at 10:43 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

(Written by kids)

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. — Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. — Camille, age 10

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. — Derek, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don’t want any more kids. — Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. — Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. — Martin, age 10 (Mmmmm??)

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

-When they’re rich. — Pam, age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. — Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. — Howard, age 8

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. — Ann, age 9 (bless you child )

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is…….

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. — Ricky, age 10

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Dog helps fell tree: “As footage from the scene shows, the firemen appeared to be in need of assistance as they grappled with the storm-damaged tree that refused to be felled in the Dutch town of Harderwijk. With the tree precariously positioned over a pavement after recent bad weather, the emergency workers used a chainsaw and ropes as they attempted to pull it to earth. As five firemen struggled to topple the tree, four-legged Rocky came to the rescue as he grabbed the loose end of the rope and tugged on it tenaciously, much to the delight of onlookers. Within moments of Rocky lending his weight to proceedings, something of a rare occurrence according to his owner Leendert Foppen, the tree tumbled to safety.”

Strange objects stolen: “False teeth, old sneakers and garden gnomes. They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure and it would appear the same rule applies to thieves. Pine Rivers police have revealed some of the most bizarre items stolen by thieves across the region. “There is no rhyme or reason to what thieves take or why,” Pine Rivers crime prevention officer Sergeant Kym Jackson said. “Police have seen bizarre items such as barbecue tongs, garden gnomes, old sneakers, a lawnmower and even false teeth stolen.” While most thieves target small items that are easily pawned or sold online, one thief recently stole scrapbooking items and a Barbie collection from a heavily-secured house at Murrumba Downs. One hard-up thief even pinched a $1 coin from a Strathpine house earlier this month. Petrie Police Senior Sergeant Craig Williams said residents needed to be vigilant with crooks known to steal presents directly from under a Christmas tree.”

Dopey drug dealer accidentally sends text messages to police officer offering cannabis for sale: “A dopey drug dealer who sent text messages to the police offering to sell them cannabis has been jailed for 16 months. Lee Streeter was out on bail after being caught with a stash of the drug when the officer who arrested him exchanged mobile phone numbers. A month later PC Daniel Hughes got two text messages from Streeter saying: ‘Safe – got bone dry cheese if u need’ – dealer slang for selling cannabis, Stafford Crown Court heard. The defendant was arrested again and he told police: ‘I accidentally sent it to everyone in my address book.’ He confessed that he had been dealing to a circle of 15 customers for a period of two months to raise money to fund his own cannabis habit. Mr Mark Nicholls, defending, said Streeter was under pressure from his supplier to pay for the cannabis he had.”

Bungling Brutish council builds fancy new school — but no access path to it: “For many children the daily trudge to school is bad enough, but spare a thought for these youngsters and their parents as they make their way to lessons. Pupils at the newly-opened £4million Chaddesley Corbett primary school in Worcestershire have to wade their way through a mud-bath because no pedestrian footpath was built. The primary only opened on Monday and following heavy rain the track to the school has churned up making children filthy before they arrive and parents with buggies barely able to get there. Mother-of-two Kate Foreman, 31, said that taking her three-year-old daughter Isabelle to school for her first day today would be a nightmare. She said: ‘It’s a mudbath, it’s like the end of a music festival. ‘There are people without cars who have to walk to school and they won’t be able to get there. You need wellies and waterproofs it’s so bad. ‘You’ve got no chance if you’ve got a pushchair as well – the wheels would get stuck. The new school has been built with larger classrooms, a hall and forest school areas and dedicated food technology, music and science facilities.”

Switzerland is the best place to be born in the world (Australia 2nd; USA 16th): “Switzerland is the best place to be born in the world in 2013 – and Britain is just 27th – behind South Korea, the US and Israel, new research shows. People born in Switzerland will tend to be the happiest and have the best quality of life judged in terms of wealth, health and trust in public institutions. The Scandinavian countries of Norway, Sweden and Denmark also all make the top five in a ‘quality-of-life’ index highlighting where it is best to be born next year. The Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU), a sister company of The Economist, attempts to measure which country will provide the best opportunities for a healthy, safe and prosperous life in years to come. Their index links the results of subjective life-satisfaction surveys – how happy people say they are – to objective determinants of quality of life across countries. One of the most important factors is being rich, but other factors come into play – including crime, trust in public institutions and the health of family life.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

A real red sea

November 28, 2012 at 3:58 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Algae turn the sea red in the city of beaches — Sydney, Australia

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This waif is Britain’s model of the year

You wouldn’t want to touch her in case you broke her

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Cheese and seaweed sandwich?: “Dulse is an edible species of seaweed that has bright red, deeply divided fronds. Rory loves seaweed. He’s positively evangelical about the stuff. Tall, tanned, his face flecked with charcoal stubble, the widowed, 56-year-old, former lawyer is convinced the algae surrounding Cornwall’s coast is a ‘miracle food’ — and that we should all be eating it. He says he has ‘every book ever published on seaweed — all ten of them’ and, as well as nibbling it fresh from the sea, he sprinkles it dried on everything from omelettes to sandwiches. Cool and slippery, the dulse has a rubbery texture and peppery taste. It’s a bit like a salty radicchio lettuce. ‘Delicious’ — Rory’s description — may be overstating it. But he’s not alone in his enthusiasm. The Japanese have been using seaweed in sushi for more than 10,000 years, and traditional Welsh laverbread is made from algae found off the Pembrokeshire coast. Rich in zinc, calcium, iron, amino acids and vitamin A, seaweed is incredibly healthy. According to a recent study, it may even aid the body’s absorption of fat.”

Killer robber was trying to steal fake Rolexes: “A bungling robber dubbed ‘Murder Mike’ was jailed for 30 years today for accidentally shooting his accomplice as they tried to steal a cache of fake Rolex watches. Daniel Tesfay, 27, blasted Jonathan Barnes, 20, in the head as they attempted to escape with timepieces they believed were worth £8,000. In fact, the three Submariner watches had been bought over the internet for £118 each by intended victim Jordaan Williams to dupe unsuspecting buyers. After setting up a meeting, Tesfay boasted he was known as ‘Murder Mike’ before trying to snatch the Rolexes. In the ensuing scuffle, he tried to shoot Mr Williams but pulled the trigger just as Barnes stepped into the path of the bullet. Tesfay, a hip-hop artist under the stage name ‘Wolfie’, then ran from the scene leaving his friend fatally wounded.”

‘Cleaning fairy’ breaks in then clears up before leaving $75 bill behind for owners: “A WOMAN dubbed the “cleaning fairy” must now complete 20 hours of community service after she broke into a home, cleaned it and left a $75 bill for the owners. A judge sentenced 53-year-old Susan Warren who must now complete 20 hours of community service after she plead guilty to attempted burglary. She has been put on probation for one year. The woman told authorities she was driving by the Westlake house and “wanted something to do.” She broke in, washed some coffee cups, took out the trash, vacuumed and dusted inside the house. Then she left a bill written on a napkin and included her phone number. Warren says she owns a cleaning business and sometimes enters homes, cleans them and leaves a bill.”

Two alleged car thieves caught after accidentally sprinting into a POLICE STATION while fleeing chasing officers: “Two dim-witted car thieves were caught after they ran into a police station as they tried to avoid the officers chasing them. The teenagers were being pursued by police through Bromley, south London, after a car had been stolen in Petts Wood, four miles away, at 2.45am. During the car chase, the pair screeched into Mason’s Hill, a side road by Bromley Police Station, not realising it was a dead end. The pair leapt out of the car and dashed into Bromley Police Station, which is open 24 hours a day, looking ‘flustered and confused’, according to front office staff. Police then arrested them. A 17-year-old, of Mottingham, south London, and a 14-year-old from Lewisham, south London, appeared at Bromley Youth Court on Monday, charged with theft of a motor vehicle and a string of driving offences. The youths, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were bailed ahead of a hearing on December 4.”

“The young boys who met by chance and became friends. . . then discovered they were BROTHERS: “Two young boys who were playing at a pool last summer discovered they looked incredibly similar – they even had the same walk. But Isaac Noltin, 12, and Dakotah Zimmer, 13, were in for the shock of their lives to discover there was more than met the eye with their similar appearances: they were brothers. ‘I could tell because of the nose,’ said Dakotah Zimmer. I was so happy that I had a brother,’ Isaac explained to TODAY.com. ‘I had always asked for one.’ Ms Nolting had met Isaac’s mother several years ago when she was heading out to dinner with her ex-husband. A friend of Ms Nolting’s ex-husband invited them to meet his girlfriend and their newborn son. The 16-year-old mother had just given birth to Isaac nine days before, and also had a one-year-old son – Dakotah. Isaac and Dakotah’s biological mother died in 2007, and their biological father died a year later. Dakotah and his older sister, Ashley, live with their’s and Isaac’s biological grandmother – Debi Bay.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

No Rike Chinese‏

November 27, 2012 at 5:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

An Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese.

It’s the first time they’ve flown together and an awkward silence between the two seemed to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, ‘I don’t like Chinese.’

No rike Chinese?’ asks the co-pilot, ‘why not?’

‘You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that’s why!’

‘No, no’, the co-pilot protests, ‘Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.’

‘Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese …doesn’t matter, you’re all alike!’

There’s a few minutes of silence.

‘I no rike Jews!’ the co-pilot suddenly announces.

‘Oh yeah, why not?’ asks the captain.

‘Jews sink Titanic!’ says the co-pilot.

‘What? You’re insane! Jews didn’t sink the Titanic!’ exclaims the captain, ‘It was an iceberg!’

‘Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, …no mattah …all fukin same.’

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Speeding motorist who faked CCTV to try and dodge fine caught out by shadows in the footage: “A driver who faked CCTV images in an attempt to dodge a speeding fine was caught out by the length of shadows in his forged footage, a court heard. Roger Moore, 44, was snapped by a speed camera as he drove a garage courtesy car while he own vehicle was undergoing maintenance. He later took images of his car parked on his driveway which he claimed were taken at the same time – and proved he had returned the courtesy car before the incident. However, police officers later calculated that the length of shadows in pictures he submitted did not match with that time of year. Moore, of Plymstock, Devon, has now admitted acting with intent to pervert the course of justice and will be sentenced next year.”

Yum! McDonald’s starts testing THREE new Quarter Pounders: “Disappointing sales have led the fast food giant to begin testing new menu items, including three new varieties of its prized Quarter Pounders. The new burgers in development include a Habanero Ranch Quarter Pounder, with white cheddar, hickory-smoked bacon and a new habanero-ranch sauce; a Deluxe Quarter Pounder, with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickle, mayonnaise and mustard; and a Bacon and Cheese Quarter Pounder, with American cheese, bacon, red onion, pickle, mustard and ketchup. McDonald’s chief executive, Don Thompson, recently told investors that slow growth and increased competition in the United States would be a ‘new normal’ for the brand, requiring a greater emphasis on less expensive menu items. Several factors are impacting McDonald’s declining sales, including the undercooked U.S. economy and high unemployment among younger consumers who tend to favor fast food. Other fast food chains, including Wendy’s and Yum! Brands, which operates KFC and Pizza Hut, have been suffering similar fates.”

Language legacy of World War One: How words like ‘binge drink’, ‘washed-up’ and ‘cushy’ started in the trenches: “It may have ended almost a century ago, but if you’re feeling a little ‘washed out’ or ‘fed up’, the First World War may have something to do with it. The conflict is responsible for hundreds of words and phrases being used today, according to a new study. Terms believed to have become common parlance because of the war include ‘cushy’, ‘snapshot’, ‘bloke’, ‘wash out’, ‘binge drink’ and ‘pushing up daisies’. It is claimed that many of the phrases had previously been used by just one geographical region or social class before the war – until hundreds of thousands of British men were forced to mix with one another in the trenches…. They found that the war brought military slang into the mainstream, imported French and German words to English and saw words from local dialects become part of national conversation. ‘This was a citizen army – and also the first really literate army – and at the end of the war, those that survived took their new terms back to the general population.’”

Belgian husband leaves wife of 19 years after discovering she was a man: “A Belgian husband has spoken of his ‘horror’ after learning his wife of 19 years used to be a man. The duped 64-year-old – named only as Jan – said he had ‘no clue’ his bride had been born a boy. The shocking revelation only emerged after almost two decades of marriage when a cousin from his wife’s native Indonesia finally exposed the truth. Jan told how he met ‘Monica’ in 1993 when she arrived in his home town of Antwerp as an au-pair to his sister’s children. He described as her ‘very beautiful and feminine’ – but said he now understood why she was ‘no good at ironing’. ‘I thought she was an attractive woman, and she was all woman – she had no male traits. ‘She was 27 years old at the time, so I asked her if she wanted children. ‘I was glad when she said she didn’t as I was 44 and already had two of my own. ‘Over the years she said she was taking the pill, and even during sex I never noticed anything, though now I understand why she always used a lubricant, which is apparently normal among transexuals.”

Female porn stars have higher self-esteem and better quality of life than other women: “A study published this week has debunked the stereotypical portrayal of porn actresses as ‘damaged goods’ who enter the adult entertainment industry because they suffer from low esteem or have been victims of childhood sexual abuse. The report in the Journal of Sex Research found that porn stars are not more likely to have psychological problems than other women. In fact, they discovered those in the sex entertainment industry had a more positive outlook on life with higher self-confidence and more flattering views on their body image. ‘In terms of psychological characteristics, porn actresses had higher levels of self-esteem, positive feelings, social support, sexual satisfaction and spirituality compared to the matched group,’ the report summarises.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Wisdom from the East

November 26, 2012 at 2:32 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Nutty British couple have 29th wedding: “For the 29th time in over a year, British woman Lisa Gant donned a white wedding dress and walked down the aisle to marry her fiancé, Alex Pelling, this time on a historic plantation in South Carolina. Last June, Gant, 30, and Pelling, 32, of Manchester, England, embarked on a mission to travel the world and tie the knot in every one of more than 50 locales they plan to visit as part of their extraordinary plan to raise money for UNICEF. This Saturday, the traditional Southern wedding, complete with a horse-drawn carriage and a big poufy princess gown, took place on Litchfield Plantation in Myrtle Beach. Gant and her fiance sold off all their possessions last year, quit their jobs in Manchester and set off on a worldwide tour to experience different cultures and get married in every place their visit. Although the couple keep getting hitched, they are not legally married. They said their journey to wedded bliss will end sometime in 2014 when they pick their favorite spot of all the places visited and make their union official, according to the Myrtle Beach Sun News.”

Churches offering gluten-free bread for communion to meet diet requirements of parishioners: “HOLY communion, one of the oldest Christian rites, is being transformed by churches fearing the spread of infection and wanting to meet the dietary requirements of parishioners. The ritual has long been celebrated in different ways by different churches, some only serving bread, others using individual cups rather than a shared chalice, and many Protestant churches using non-alcoholic juice rather than wine. Now, even the more traditional Catholic and Anglican churches are changing the way they practise the ritual, according to Mike Grieger, whose Australian Church Resources organisation sells gluten-free and low-gluten altar bread to more than 2000 churches of different denominations… At Ashgrove West Uniting Church in Brisbane, the bread that is broken and served to the congregation is gluten-free, nut-free, dairy-free and vegan friendly, according to church secretary Julie Hultgren.”

Shi-ite fanaticism in India: “Blood is seen on the floor of a mosque as Indian Shiite Muslims flagellate themselves during a holy procession. Muslims all over the world pay their respects with the flowing of their blood as they mourn the slaying and martyrdom of Imam Hussein, the grandson of Prophet Mohammad. He was killed by his political rivals along with 72 companions in the seventh century battle of Kerbala where some of the bodies of the dead were then mutilated. The Muslims were taking part in processions in Mumbai and Chennai. Ashura is celebrated on the tenth day of the Islamic month of Muharram. The processions also involve walking on burning coals and carrying a ‘Tazia’ – replica of the coffin of Hussein. Some participants gather for ceremonial chest beating as a display of their devotion in remembrance of his suffering and to preach that oppression will not last. [The Christian rite of Holy Communion seems a lot less trouble]

Chocolate that doesn’t melt in the heat?: “It is a revolutionary breakthrough worthy of Willy Wonka – Cadbury has found a way to make chocolate that doesn’t melt in hot weather. The new bars of Dairy Milk stay completely solid even when exposed to temperatures of 104F for more than three hours. Scientists at Cadbury’s research and development plant in Bourneville, near Birmingham, call their breakthrough ‘temperature-tolerant chocolate’. The secret to the new bars is a change in the so-called ‘conching step’, where a container filled with metal beads grinds the ingredients, which usually include cocoa butter, vegetable oils, milk and sugar. Cadbury has developed a way of breaking down sugar particles into smaller pieces, reducing how much fat covers them and making the bar more resistant to heat. But the firm’s decision not to sell the new bars in the UK has been blasted by critics as another bitter blow for an iconic British brand.”

A wooden cushion?: “Sitting on a wooden stool often ends in a sore bottom but this cleverly designed one is as soft as a cushion despite being made entirely out of wood. The Ash Cushion needs no stuffing to make it soft because it is made of strips of notched ashwood, creating a solid yet springy surface. The $2,199 (£1,370) handmade stool, designed by Mary Dickerson, compresses when under pressure. The 19x12x18inch stool is extra wide and based on Dutch designer Carolien Laro’s work, Spring Wood Collections, which cleverly pushed the limits of wood. The strips of ashwood have had pieces sliced out of it, allowing it to bend and compress unlike solid pieces of wood. Ash wood is often used by carpenters and designers because of its versatile physical properties including its strength and flexibility.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Sick joke

November 25, 2012 at 2:19 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Dumb British council causes traffic jam in the name of solving traffic jams: “A traffic survey taken to help ease congestion in Norfolk caused a nine mile traffic jam, and had to be cut short. The county council was forced to apologise yesterday after furious drivers were stuck in a huge queue while officials counted the cars during rush hour. The traffic survey on the A47 Norwich Southern Bypass, which began on Wednesday morning at 7am, had to be ‘lifted early’ at 9.30am because the queues had become far worse that anticipated. Norfolk County County council spokesman John Birchall told the Eastern Daily Press: “The tailbacks were far worse than anybody would’ve liked and we are very sorry for that but the information we got, we can’t get in other way.”

Tricky questions Miss France beauties had to answer to show they weren’t just a pretty face: “Beauty queens have never been exactly noted for their brains as judges tend to be rather more impressed with their looks and long legs. But entrants at this year’s annual Miss France pageant have been tested on their general knowledge to show they were not just a pretty face. The test reportedly caused ‘panic’ among the 33 contestants who took part at the televised competition on the French-speaking island of Mauritius. Not that the questions were too tough. They included: ‘What’s the average price of a baguette?’ ‘Who is Usain Bolt’? ‘Complete the squence: A, E, I ….’ and ‘Who is the Prime Minister of France’? The hardest question was: ‘You leave for New York on a flight at 2pm (French time) with a flight time of 5 hours and 30 minutes. ‘What time do you arrive in New York local time given that the time difference is minus six hours?’”

Young woman terrifies her mother with Grand Canyon prank: “Rebecca Busch was already nervous about her daughter Samantha’s trip to the Grand Canyon. But her anxiety went through the roof when the 22-year-old texted a photograph of herself plunging into the enormous abyss. The incredible image was actually an elaborate ruse designed to wind up her overprotective mother – in reality, Ms Busch was stood firmly on a ledge as her boyfriend took the snap. But Mrs Busch, of Westmont, Illinois, took the bait, claiming the shot nearly gave her a heart attack, and now the prank has gone viral after it was posted on Reddit. ‘For five days up to when we left, my mom had warned me about falling off the cliff or being blown off,’ Ms Busch told ABCNews.com. ‘So when we were hiking around the corner, I found a good spot where I could stand on the ledge. (My boyfriend) angled the camera just right and he took a great picture.’ ‘I messaged it to her first and she works for a medical auditing company and there are women who have known me since day one, and they freaked out over it also,’ Ms Busch said. To make the prank more believable, the 22-year-old switched off the GPS locator on her cell phone so she couldn’t be tracked.

The joys of life on the ocean wave: “A luxury cruise operator is being sued for a total of £500,000 by 25 passengers who say they had their dream holidays ruined after contracting stomach bugs. The passengers, who all sailed on the Independence of the Seas cruise liner at some stage between December 2010 and June 2011, claim they were laid low by gastroenteritis, due to alleged lapses of hygiene aboard ship. They are now suing Royal Caribbean & Celebrity Cruises, of Weybridge, Surrey, with one couple alone claiming their bathroom cabinet was infested with sewer flies, and that they saw one waiter sneeze into a napkin before placing it on a table, and another wipe his nose on his sleeve. The group say there had been ‘multiple cases of gastroenteritis on previous cruises’ on the vessel, which they dubbed a ‘sick ship’, and that they ought to have been warned and offered an alternative or a refund. Yesterday holidaymakers involved in the class action told the Daily Mail they would never set foot upon such a large liner again after their ‘horrendous’ experiences on the 15-deck vessel, which caters for up to 4,370 passengers.”

School for failure: “A school that has introduced ‘lessons’ in failure to test the perseverance of children has been backed by Chief Scout and TV adventurer Bear Grylls. Pupils at the independent Perse School in Cambridge are being challenged with physical and academic tasks that teachers do not expect them to achieve. Ed Elliot, head of the £13,647-a-year school, said seeing ‘failure as your friend’ helped children to learn from their mistakes. The activities for the pupils ‘were deliberately pitched to push boundaries and create the situation where controlled failure was likely to occur’. He added: ‘They are going to face failure in the real world, and I would much prefer they had been trained how to deal with it in a supportive environment.’”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

New Zealanders are said to have close relationships with their sheep….

November 24, 2012 at 4:12 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi ‘G’day, mind if I talk to your dog?’

Villager: ‘The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid Aussie.’

Ventriloquist: ‘Hello dog, how’s it going mate?’

Dog: ‘Yeah, doin’ all right.’ Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: ‘Is this villager your owner?’ (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: ‘Yep’

Ventriloquist: ‘How does he treat you?’

Dog: ‘Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.’

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your horse?’

Kiwi: ‘Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either…I think.’

Ventriloquist: ‘Hey horse, how’s it going?’

Horse: ‘Cool’

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: ‘Is this your owner?’ (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: ‘Yep’

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: ‘Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.’

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your sheep?’

Kiwi: (in a panic) The sheep’s a @#$%^& liar !

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Angler dies after swallowing fish: “The man was fishing with friends on a beach in Icapui, in Brazil’s northeastern state of Ceara, when he reeled in a small sole fish, according to police. The fishermen then reportedly made a bizarre bet with his friends that he would be able to hold the slippery fish between his teeth for a minute. But no sooner had he put the fish into his mouth that it escaped and swam down his throat, getting lodged in the man’s windpipe. Despite suffocating, the angler managed to get to his car and drive to a hospital two miles away. But when he arrived there at 11am on Sunday he collapsed and died before doctors could save him. Icapui’s police chief Carlos Alberto said medics eventually removed the fish but it was already too late. He said: “It was a silly thing to do, but he didn’t deserve to die because of it.”

Rejected Beatles audition tape discovered: “The Beatles’ audition tape famously rejected by a record executive in 1962 has finally been uncovered after 50 years. The fledgling group were told “they had no future in showbusiness” as guitar groups were “on the way out” following the audition. The decision by a Decca Records executive proved to be one of the worst made in music history. Within months John, Paul, George and original drummer Pete Best had signed with EMI and went on to become the greatest band of all time. Now the original safety master tape, a 10-track demo the group recorded at Decca’s London studios on New Year’s Day 1962, has come to public light for the first time. It is thought the Beatles’ manager Brian Epstein held on to the tape he had paid to make and later gave it to an executive associated with EMI. He sold it in 2002 to a prolific buyer of music memorabilia. He is now selling it at auction with a pre-sale estimate of 30,000 pounds. The recording has never been officially released and the sound quality on it is said to be pristine.”

Work-shy British mail carriers: “Royal Mail refuse to deliver post to 82-year-old grandmother as the path to her home is ‘too slippy’: “A pensioner has been told her post will not be delivered to her door anymore – because the footpath she uses every day is ‘too slippy’. Enid Sugden, 82, said Royal Mail only told her workers were refusing to deliver to her house after she rang them to say no mail had arrived in weeks. Royal Mail told her the path was ‘hazardous’. The grandmother-of-five, of Sowerby Bridge, West Yorkshire, said: ‘This house is 300 years old and post has been delivered for most of that time. I’ve lived here 50 years and not had any problems before. ‘They said the footpath’s slippy. It’s regularly used by locals and there’s not a problem.’ Company spokeswoman Felicity McFarlane said the decision was made after a postwoman slipped and injured herself on stepping stones covered in algae and moss six weeks ago.”

British government agency falls for prank: “Bosses at the Department for Work and Pensions were today left ‘shaken and stirred’ after pranksters posted a fake advert for a James Bond-esque ‘Target Elimination Specialist’ on their Jobcentre website. The spoof recruitment ad appeared on the DirectGov site and stated that the successful applicant should be trained in using sniper rifles, be able to leave foreign countries by non-conventional means and assume new identities. It added that candidates for the MI6 post should be willing to ‘remove people’ on behalf of the Government and would be equipped with special watches, jet packs and mini-submarines. It stated the salary was between £50,000 and £60,000 a year – barely enough to maintain a James Bond-style lifestyle of Martinis, women and sports cars – though there would be performance bonuses ‘on completion of missions.’ A spokeswoman for the DWP confirmed that a professional killer was not being sought – even though MI6 have started advertising job vacancies in national magazines – and that the tongue-in-cheek ad had been removed.”

$238 for soap?: “Oprah Winfrey’s hotly anticipated List of Favourite Things was released just five days ago on her OWN Network, and already it is having major effects on products she endorsed. After placing the Lafco Soap Set at the beginning of her 2012 list, and the Octane Fitness Q37ci Elliptical Trainer second, both products have seen sizable increases in sales according to reps for both companies. Apparently, sales for the $238 Lafco Soap Set, or $17 per soap, have nearly quadrupled since Oprah’s list aired on November 18. A rep for Lafco told TMZ, which asked if sales had increased: ‘Holy hell, yes it has. It is our third time being chosen. We’re busy as hell. ‘We usually invoice 80-100 a day, and yesterday we had 431 invoices.’”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Weird Christmas photo

November 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What WAS that guy thinking?

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Men think eating meat makes them more manly (and even veggie women think veggie men are wimps): “Researchers from Bellarmine University in Louisville, Kentucky, have found that men believe eating meat makes them more manly. Professor Hank Rothgerber , who has published his research in the journal Men and Masculinity, said that meat eating was linked with ‘manhood, power, and virility’. He told NBC news: ‘There is a group of manly men who swear off what they call chick food, and they seek a double whopper to declare their manhood.’ He added: ‘Meat consumption is a symbol of patriarchy resulting from its long-held alliance with manhood, power, and virility.’ The men questioned in the study said animals ‘just taste too good to not eat them’ whereas women were more apologetic about eating meat. Researchers from the University of British Columbia revealed that vegetarian men are seen as wimps and less macho than those who like tucking into a steak – even by women who do not eat meat themselves.”

Giant owl a problem: “The good citizens of Northam, Devon, were at odds with each other yesterday over a whacking great eagle owl. The owl, nicknamed Eyeballs by residents, made regular visits to a man’s lougeroom before it was captured because neighbours claimed the bird of prey was attacking people and pets. The bird of prey, which stands over 2ft tall and weighs as much as a small dog, took a liking to the well-to-do area near Westward Ho! Occasionally you could spot him perched on a windowsill, and he even ventured inside, flapping around the living room of one friendly resident. But some were not so keen. Sandra and Peter Morris, for example, said he attacked their poodle, Minnie. Others feared he could harm children after he swooped on a gardener and drew blood from his neck. Eventually, experts from the Owls-R-Us organisation arrived to capture the bird. But now police are investigating whether it was done legally after a complaint from one resident who claimed: ‘I saw the guy swing a net at it. I saw the wings of the owl flapping. He was screeching … the net was quite small. Last night the owl was being cared for at a Devon sanctuary and was said to be ‘comfortable’.”

$100 Bills Make Up 80% of All U.S. Currency—But Why?: “The share of greenbacks denominated in $100 bills has been consistently on the rise for decades and inflation doesn’t explain the half of it. The short answer is that a lot of money is spending a lot of time outside the United States. And while there are plenty of reasons folks outside the US might want to hold dollars, the thinking is that most people are not using these $100 bills to buy milk and bananas. No, most economists seem to believe $100 bills are most often used as stores of value–almost something like mini-Treasury bills that don’t pay any interest. This is especially so in developing countries, where problems with unstable currencies and inflation often mean the purchasing power of local currency gradually–or not so gradually–erodes over time. US currency is a preferred medium of exchange for facilitating clandestine transactions, and for storing illicit and untaxed wealth.”

The Pilgrims Should Have Been Thankful for a nasty disease: “It’s quite possible that America as we know it would not exist without rat urine and leptospirosis, the disease it spreads. The disease conveniently cleared coastal New England of Native Americans just prior to the Pilgrims’ arrival and later killed the helpful Squanto. It still lurks among us, underdiagnosed, an emerging menace. It’s estimated as many as nine out of 10 coastal Indians were killed in the epidemic between 1616 and 1619. What killed so many people so quickly? The symptoms were a yellowing of the skin, pain and cramping, and profuse bleeding, especially from the nose. A recent analysis concludes the culprit was a disease called leptospirosis, caused by leptospira bacteria. Spread by rat urine. Leptospirosis is what’s known as a zoonotic disease. The bacterium lives in animal hosts and is transmitted between animals and to people via urine in fresh water. Its favorite host is the black rat, Rattus rattus, a nonnative species that was inadvertently transported to North America on explorers’ ships.”

Turkey eggs are for gourmets only: “Why don’t Americans eat turkey eggs? Because they’re expensive. Chicken hens are egg-laying dynamos, dropping one almost every day, while a turkey produces only about two per week. Chickens begin laying eggs at about five months of age, but turkeys don’t have their first cycle until more than two months later. Turkey eggs used to be a menu staple in North America. Wild turkeys roamed the continent before the arrival of humans, and archaeologists have found turkey-egg shells at the encampments of pre-Columbian Americans. Hopi Indians consider the eggs a delicacy. (The Navajo ate only the flesh of turkeys, however, European settlers noted.) Europeans took domesticated turkeys across the Atlantic in the 16th century, and turkey eggs were soon a part of Old-World cuisine, particularly in England. Americans also served them until fairly recently. Turkey egg omelettes were a regular offering at New York’s legendary Delmonico’s restaurant in the late 19th century.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

The joys of texting

November 22, 2012 at 3:46 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Great tits under threat: “One of Britain’s best-loved garden birds is under threat from a virus which could devastate numbers, scientists warned. Researchers have discovered an imported strain of avian pox is causing life-threatening infections in great tits, resulting in large wart-like growths on their heads and beaks. The virus, which experts believe was spread from the continent by mosquitoes, is known to target a number of British bird species, including house sparrows, wood pigeons and lesser tits. But the disease is especially harmful to the popular great tit, which can struggle to feed as a result of the growths. The green and yellow birds are also at greater risk from predators as they can be unsighted by the lesions on the side of the head.”

Monkeys reject unequal pay: “It sounds like monkey business. But a study of primates by researchers at Emory University in the US has found that capuchin monkeys care about equal pay for equal work. In a TED presentation, primatologist Frans de Waal shows video of an experiment where two monkeys are fed. At first both monkeys are given grapes and they are very satisfied. But when one the primates is fed cucumber while the other is provided delicious grapes in plain sight, the monkey dealt the less delicious hand is not pleased. The cucumber recipient goes ape, rattling on his plastic fence in rage. The primate behaviour expert Frans de Waal compared the monkeys’ behaviour to humans who participated in the Occupy Wall St movement. “That’s basically the Wall St protest right there,” he said.”

British school to hire proof reader to check for mistakes in TEACHERS’ reports: “A secondary school is looking to recruit a proof reader to check for mistakes… in its own teachers’ reports. Northgate High School in Ipswich, Suffolk, posted an advert for the position on its website, saying responsibilities would include correcting ‘spelling mistakes, poor or missing punctuation, incorrect capitalisation’ and improving ‘poor grammar’. Headteacher David Hutton told the Ipswich Star: ‘Our examination results year on year demonstrate that Northgate employs very high-calibre teaching staff. ‘Making a final quality check prior to publication merely indicates the high level of professionalism we strive to achieve.’ The job advert advises the post holder ‘will check and amend the electronic reports to ensure that they are well-written and complete before being released to parents.’ The part-time job will also include helping staff whose reports need ‘extensive correcting by giving them feedback on their report writing and tactfully suggesting strategies to help them improve’.”

Boring 2012 is a sell-out as fans flock to conference dedicated to the dull and mundane: “A conference to celebrate mind-numbing boredom and mundanity has completely sold out. Boring 2012 – which will take place at London’s York Hall on Sunday and features talks on sleep-inducing subjects such as self-service checkouts, IBM tills, yellow lines, toast, pylons and shop fronts – has ironically attracted a lot of interest. Organisers say the event, now in its third year, will feature ‘nothing interesting, worthwhile or important’. Conference organiser James Ward said: ‘Yes, it’s true that tickets for the conference have sold out. In theory we could add a number of additional places and still comply with venue fire, health and safety regulations. ‘The real issue is that I would have to source additional chairs for our supplier and in order to do so, I would need to get time off work or rearrange my Asda delivery. ‘In both cases, these courses cannot be rescheduled without 21 days’ notice. The Asda delivery can’t be shifted because it is timed to coincide with the running down of several domestic essentials, including cat pellets, scotch broth and extra value high fruit buns.”

The power of pink: Men who wear shirts of that colour earn £1,000 a year more than those who don’t: “Men who wear pink shirts to work earn more and are better qualified than those who favour traditional colours such as white or blue, it has emerged. Researchers also found men who wear pink are more likely to get compliments from female colleagues and are more confident characters in the office. A typical pink shirt wearer earns £1,000 more a year than those who opt for other colours, the poll of 1,500 male office workers found. One in four men feels more attractive in a pink shirt and those who frequently wear purple or lilac have the most office romances, while those who prefer blue have the least. Men who wear pink are also twice as likely to have a Master’s degree than those who favour white shirts, with one in ten pink shirt wearers having a PHD. The report also found men who favour shirts with green tones are the most likely to be late for work, whilst white shirt fans are the most punctual, the survey found.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

This Thanksgiving…

November 21, 2012 at 1:43 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Keep the families whose brave men are fighting in combat zones in your prayers this Thanksgiving

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Singapore taxi driver returns $900k left by passengers: “A Singaporean taxi driver has been heralded as a hero after he returned $SG1.1 million ($US900,000) in cash to a vacationing Thai couple who left the money in his cab. Sia Ka Tian, 70, has told the Straits Times he was shocked to find the money in a black paper bag on the back seat on Monday after he dropped the couple off at a shopping centre. “When I saw the money, I thought, trouble is here. I was sure there was at least $200,000 in the bag,” he said. When he brought the money to transport company ComfortDelGro’s lost-and-found office, his stunned colleagues counted $1.1 million in $1,000 bills. “The money is unimportant to me,” he said. “It doesn’t belong to me, so how can I use it?” The Thai couple reported the loss to the transport company and Mr Sia was waiting for them when they arrived to claim the money. The report did not say what the couple were doing with such a large sum. The driver received an undisclosed cash reward from the grateful couple, whose names have been withheld.”

He’s not sorry – ledge idiot shown the door: “HIGH-RISE dunce Cameron Cox had hoped to brush aside his moment of madness and continue the “party of his life” with his mates on the Gold Coast. But the 18-year-old, snapped snoozing on a tiny ledge outside an 11th floor unit, came crashing back to earth after he was booted out of his apartment and sent home in disgrace. Worse, the graduate of elite Somerset College on the Gold Coast is oblivious to the outrage, with one his mates posting a smirking snap of him holding the front-page newspaper picture that went viral around the world. Busted sleeping on the ledge after a fellow schoolie posted the picture on website Instagram, the Surfers Hawaiian Hotel gave him his marching orders and his parents have removed him from the Schoolies precinct. Cox said he didn’t realise his bid to get some fresh air would “get so much attention”. His parents refused to comment. Although his drunken act was described as stupid, lawyers believe if he had slipped and fallen it could have resulted in a liability lawsuit.”

‘Dumb ways to die’ turns into internet sensation: “A safety campaign for Metro Trains in Melbourne has become an international YouTube sensation. The quirky clip called Dumb Ways to Die has had nearly 12 million views on YouTube since it was leaked less than a week ago. The video features animated characters killing themselves in a variety of “dumb” ways. Ms Waymark says Metro spoke with their employees about dumb things they have witnessed in and around train stations. ”All our staff were talking to us and complaining about some of the dumb behaviour people exhibit out on our networks,” she said. “So that’s really where that evolved from, and we workshopped the best way to reach young people.”

Cops puzzled by ‘free dope’ left on roadside: “Police are puzzled by the discovery of three garbage bags full of freshly-cut marijuana with a sign reading “Free dope. Mull up” dumped by a road on the New South Wales south coast. A local man made the discovery on Bolong Road, near Nowra, on Saturday morning while on his way to go fishing. Police say the bags contain around 16 kilograms of marijuana with a street value of around $90,000. Police are appealing for anyone who saw the green bags being dumped to come forward. They say the cannabis will be destroyed.”

Toilet maker TOTO seeks global lavatory domination with Washlets: “THEY are found in more than two-thirds of Japanese households and visitors to the country have marvelled at their heated seats, posterior shower jets and odour-masking function. But for the company that has sold over 30 million high-tech toilets, commonly known as Washlets, global lavatory domination remains elusive, especially among shy US consumers. “Americans avoid talking about those kinds of things so we can’t expect success from word-of-mouth, even if they recognise our products are excellent…. The Washlet’s functions, laid out on a computerised control panel with pictograms, include water jets with pressure and temperature controls, hot-air bottom dryers and ambient background music. Another function produces a flushing sound to mask bodily noises — a hit among the easily-embarrassed — while some models have a lid that automatically swings open when users enter the restroom. Others feature seats and lids that glide back into horizontal position, possibly solving gender battles over flipped-up toilet seats in the home.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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