Wicked Thoughts

Getting in on the act

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Sex shop forced to install discreet side entrance after pub-goers CHEERED every time a customer stepped into the street: “For many customers who like to peruse sex shops, it is not always something which they want drawing to other people’s attention. So you can imagine the horror for shoppers at one store when every time they entered or left the building, they were subjected to loud cheers from boozed-up builders in the pub opposite the road. Whenever the door to The Private Shop in Apsley, Hertfordshire, was opened, a loud bell would alert drinkers in The Bull pub opposite. Customers of the sex shop were then subjected to friendly banter and a loud ‘wa-hey!’. Because of the embarrassment this caused for some of its regulars, the shop was forced to install a secluded side entrance.”

Burglars chased away from TV chef’s £345,000 home… by his yapping JACK RUSSELL: “Burglars wielding hammers were chased away from a television chef’s £345,000 home by his yapping Jack Russell. Glynn Purnell said his small but ferocious seven-year-old dog Whoops was ‘hard as nails’ after she frightened the intruders away from his Warwickshire property. Burglars smashed the pantry window and discarded a hammer in the garden before climbing into the kitchen beside Whoops’s bed. But the criminals were forced to retreat with only a few bags of nappies as Whoops hounded them out of the house. The daring dog bit one of the burglar’s bottoms as they fled through the window in the early hours of Monday morning. The chef, who runs Michelin-starred Purnell in Birmingham, rewarded the crime-fighting canine with a roast pork dinner. He said: ‘Whoops is as hard as nails. She might be tiny, but she’s strong. ‘Burglars are no match for her – they wouldn’t have known what hit them when they were faced with her.”

Is this the world’s clumsiest bank robber? Armed raider shoots himself in the foot: “His only job was to guard the doors while his gang members robbed the bank. But even that simple task was too much for the latest contender for the unwanted title of world’s clumsiest bank robber. For as his criminal colleagues held up the cashier in the small bank in Parana in Brazil he managed to drop his aim and fire off a round into his own foot. The clumsy robber can be seen in CCTV footage from the bank holding two guns at the entrance as his partners take a money bag. At first it appears that he is on top of his crucial role until he lowers his right arm and shot himself in the foot. He was then seen limping out into the street. But he was unable to avoid capture as he was arrested when he appeared at a nearby hospital for treatment.”

Spyplane’s rather embarrassing shape: “It’s called Argus One; the Pentagon’s newest unmanned spy plane. But cheeky observers are already calling it the ‘Flying Sperm’. It has the capacity to carry 30 pounds of high tech sensors and cameras and the ability to hover over remote locations between 10,000 and 20,000 feet, even in rough weather. The suspect design has been attributed to improved ‘flight stability and aerodynamic control’ as well as giving the aircraft a longer flight time. The Argus One, named after the Greek god Argus who was the all seeing god with one hundred eyes, is designed to be an ‘eye in the sky’ even in very remote areas. ‘The Argus One has a low radar footprint making it virtual stealth since the payload bay located on the forward module of the airship is the only radar reflecting material on the airship.’ a statement from WSGI said. The aircraft’s ‘flexible, non-rigid’ body also makes for easy storage and transportation.”

Cocaine mistakenly sent to UN headquarters: “A 16kg consignment of cocaine that Mexican drug traffickers recently lost has turned up in an unlikely place – the United Nations in New York. Police and UN officials today described how two fake UN bags containing the drugs – which experts said had a street value of about $2 million – set off a security alert when they were delivered, apparently by accident, to the the global body’s headquarters. The bags, which had the UN symbol printed on them, were shipped from Mexico through the DHL delivery company’s centre in Cincinnati, Ohio, Deputy Commissioner Paul Browne of the New York Police Department said. But the bags had no address on them, nor any return to sender details. “It is my understanding that because there was no addressee, the DHL just thought well that’s the UN symbol so we should ship it on to UN headquarters and let them figure out who it was supposed to go to,” Browne said.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.