Cavewoman in action

April 30, 2011 at 8:32 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Dutch soccer club signs up 18-month-old: “A Dutch soccer club from the southern city of Venlo has taken youth scouting to an extreme, signing up an 18-month-old toddler who shot to fame on YouTube, Radio Netherlands reported. Baerke van der Meij became an internet sensation when a video, posted by his father, showed him shooting three balls into a toy box at his home. The startling accuracy and perfect technique hinted that little Baerke may have inherited the technique of Dutch soccer masters of the past. However, the authenticity of the video could not be confirmed. Baerke’s local club, VVV Venlo, has signed the prodigy up to a 10-year “token” contract. His grandfather played for the same club.”

Duckling chases Jack Russell terrier: “When a tiny bundle of feathers encountered a dog it quickly became clear which one was a chicken. A brave little duckling is seen chasing after a Jack Russell – who tries to make a dash with his tail between his legs – in a classic case of David and Goliath. Despite the loud barks of the nervous dog, the duckling kept on running at its playmate, trying to have some fun. However, the dog was clearly in no mood for tomfoolery with the bird. The video shows the Jack Russell slipping about on the varnished wooden floor of a living room as the duck keeps on quickly waddling towards him. The Jack Russell is so keen to get away that at one point he is seen falling flat on his face.”

What was THAT? Tourist photo in South Africa gets a surprising inclusion: “It may have got in the way of these tourists’ photo, but at least this little creature was polite enough to show its best smile for the camera. The rock hyrax popped into view just as Briton Nadine Dougherty, 27, on the right, posed with her Spanish friend Laura Molina on top of Table Mountain. ‘We took a few pictures before I tried to get one of Laura and Nadine stood together. ‘I was taking the picture and suddenly this animal appeared right in front of the camera just as I pressed down on the button. Guido, from Barcelona, said the rock hyrax – Procavia capensis in Latin – was about 18 inches away from him at the time. Rock hyraxes, also known as dassies, are frequently sighted on Table Mountain, where they scavenge for food.”

Chinese man smuggles 4,000 fishzillas into NY: “A MAN has been accused of illegally importing nearly 4,000 snakehead fish, otherwise known as ‘fishzilla’. The Brooklyn seafood importer has been accused of illegally importing the predatory freshwater creature that has been outlawed in New York state since 2004. Yong Hao Wu, a co-owner of Howei Trading, Inc., of Brooklyn, faces up to four years in prison if convicted on charges of felony commercialization of wildlife and importing fish dangerous to indigenous fish populations. Snakeheads are air-breathers and can travel short distances over land, writhing their body and fins until they reach a suitable aquatic habitat, according to prosecutors.”

Los Angeles cops accused of filming porn on duty: “The Los Angeles Department of Transportation was today investigating allegations that two of its employees were involved in filming a porn movie, now circulating online, while on duty. The department said it has placed the two employees on paid administrative leave. “The Department of Transportation does not condone or tolerate unacceptable or inappropriate behaviour from any of our employees,” said LADOT General Manager Amir Sedadi. “The allegations involving these two individuals in no way should be taken as representative of the nearly 600 professional Parking Enforcement and Traffic Control Officers in the department.” The film, first reported by NBC4, reportedly depicts two uniformed, on-duty LADOT traffic officers interacting with a porn actress. One of the workers allegedly spanks and fondles her and another allows her into a city vehicle where she fondles herself, according to the report.”

Floating golf course: “FANCY playing 18 holes on a floating island that overlooks coral reefs and is connected by underwater tunnels? Well soon you will be able to, thanks to a Dutch company which announced plans to build a $500 million floating golf course in the Maldives. Featuring 18 holes connected by underwater tunnels, the course will be made up of several islands floating in the Indian Ocean, which will contain two or three holes each. The floating islands will also be linked to a series of hotels by more underwater tunnels, which will overlook the golf course and surrounding coral reefs.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Opportunity knocks

April 29, 2011 at 6:51 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

And is welcomed in

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Curses, foiled again: “A taxi driver in Springfield, Ill., picked up a fare who hadn’t even closed the door before he pulled a handgun and demanded money. The driver told police he noticed the car was still in gear, so he stepped on the gas and jerked the steering wheel back and forth, causing the gunman to fly out of the open passenger door and flee empty handed.

Superman renounces US citizenship: “The world’s most famous champion of truth, justice and the American way says he intends to renounce his US citizenship. Superman makes the shocking pronouncement in this week’s Action Comics No. 900, the New York Post reported today. “Truth, justice and the American way – it’s not enough anymore,” the Man of Steel tells the president’s national security adviser. “I intend to speak before the United Nations tomorrow and inform them that I am renouncing my US citizenship.” “I’m tired of having my actions construed as instruments of US policy,” he says, explaining that he wants to help wherever and whenever he is needed. “I’ve been thinking too small. I realise that now.” In a statement, DC Comics co-publishers Jim Lee and Dan Didio said that despite the global outlook, the character is, and always will be, a red-blooded American at heart.”

X marks the spot: “After six-and-a-half years and $450m, NASA’s Messenger probe has paid its way. Sent to become the first craft to orbit Mercury, it has sent back thousands of images from the surface, but apart from the novelty factor of the first few, most since have only been of interest to the kinds of people who waited six-and-a-half years for them. The intriguing image above was taken on April 24 and features an “as-yet-unnamed” crater. With a massive “X marks the spot” through the middle of it. It’s 116km across, but before anyone gets too excited, there is – not surprisingly – a scientific explanation for it. The MESSENGER scientists say the lines are “secondary crater lines”. What that means is outside the field of view are two impact sites. The criss-crossing lines are made up of mounds of “ejecta” thrown up by whatever struck the planet. So in reality, it’s all just a coincidence, albeit a fascinating one. Or is it?”

Daring drinker loses: “A Tanzanian man has died after drinking 25 sachets of a potent moonshine known as “double punch”, losing a six-dollar bet with his friends that he could gulp 30 down in one sitting. Moses Kanyange, 37, had been promised $6.09 by his partners during a drinking session if he could down 30 sachets of the brew, a pungent spirit imported from neighbouring Zambia. “We are still investigating the issue because more than 10 people took part, but only Moses died,” Isuto Mantage, a police commander from the southwestern region of Tanzania said today. Other police sources said Kanyange was “an experienced drinker”, known to be able to drink 25 half-litre bottles of beer in less than two hours, but he had already consumed too much alcohol before taking the double punch bet.”

Two women cheat death after runaway wheel smashes their windscreen as they speed along motorway at 70mph: “Two women cheated death after a bouncing WHEEL from a passing vehicle shattered their car windscreen – in the fast lane of a busy motorway. Lucky Jessica East, 21, and Holly Williams, 22, recoiled in horror when the wheel careered over the central reservation of the M5 into the path of their Volkswagen Golf. It struck and shattered the windscreen of the vehicle – travelling at 70mph – before rebounding down the carriageway. Remarkably, cool-headed driver Jessica managed to pull the vehicle across two lanes of busy traffic onto the hard shoulder – despite being showered with sharp shards of glass. The pair emerged bloodied but unhurt from the crash”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Ambiguity

April 28, 2011 at 4:12 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Pissweak armed robbers foiled by locked door: “Three attempted armed robbers in Townsville were allegedly foiled by a locked door. Police charged three men with attempted armed robbery after they allegedly pulled up to a business in Vincent, armed with a firearm, but got back into their car when they realised the doors were locked about 11.45pm. The car was later stopped by police. A 31-year-old man from Deeragun, a 28-year-old man from Cranbrook and a 28-year-old man from Hermit Park were due to appear in Townsville Magistrates Court this morning.”

Croc ‘lucky to be alive’ after tourist feeds it brick: “A saltwater crocodile is lucky to be alive after chipping his teeth on a brick, thrown into his enclosure by a tourist. The 3.4 metre reptile’s owner Rex Neindorf saved him from swallowing the brick at the Alice Springs Reptile Centre in central Australia on Saturday. “The crocodile grabbed the brick, thinking it was food,” he said. “He chipped three teeth, but they’ll fall out and he’ll grow new ones. “If he’d actually swallowed the brick, it would most likely have killed him. He said the tourist from New Zealand obtained two bricks from a cordoned off area that was under construction as part of the centre’s expansion and threw them into Terry the Territorian’s tank. “He wanted to make the crocodile move,” Mr Neindorf said.”The only reason the crocodile didn’t swallow it is that I happened to see it, opened the gates and started bashing him on the nose to let it go.”

Secret! British postal service refuses to tell customer where post boxes are: “A radio presenter who wrote to Royal Mail asking where his nearest post boxes were received an astonishing reply to say: ‘Sorry, it’s a secret’. David Heathcote was fed-up scouring the streets looking for a place to send letters to his listeners – and thought that, as most post boxes are bright red, over four feet tall, and have been a familiar sight on Britain’s streets for well over a century, it would be a simple request. But the 61-year-old was told by a Royal Mail ‘Freedom of Information Support Officer’ that precise post box locations couldn’t be ‘released into the public domain’ because doing so would ‘undermine their commercial value’ [????].”

Goldfish Memory Syndrome: A third of women can’t remember their own phone number: “A recent study revealed that a third of women under 30 can’t remember their own phone number or recall the birthdays of just three of their close relatives. Meanwhile, a study of 150 people between 20 to 35 found that more than one in ten suffer severe memory problems. ‘Young people are losing the ability to remember new things, to pull out old data or to distinguish between important and unimportant information. “It’s a type of brain dysfunction,’ says Toshiyuki Sawaguchi, professor of neurobiology at Japan’s Hokkaido University, who led the study. Experts are convinced that far from suddenly getting more stupid, we are all putting our brains under too much pressure. Quite simply, modern life is eating away our memories.”

Spanish gym launches nudist workout sessions to win back business: “A STRUGGLING gym in northern Spain hopes to entice new customers by offering nudist workout sessions, making it the first in the country to target naturists looking to get into shape. Liberal-minded customers in the northern town of Arrigorriaga are invited to burn calories in the buff at Easy Gym, which provides towels for comfort and to “prevent slippage on the equipment.” “We knew we had to innovate because we were losing clients,” said Easy Gym owner Merche Laseca. “Times are hard. There is a crisis. I need the money. I am not a nudist myself, but I don’t mind it at all.” Critics claimed the nude gym sessions might be unhygienic and uncomfortable.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

China: Buxom Virgin Girls Wanted to Pick Tea

April 27, 2011 at 5:37 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

From a recent posting in the want ads website in the city of Xinyang:

West Jiuhua Mountain scenic spot is hiring full-time tea-leaf pickers.

A prospective employee has to be a woman with no sexual experience, has a bra size of at least C, and has no scar or wound visible on her body with a uniform.

Ten C-cup virgin tea-leaf picker candidates helped kick off the traditional tea culture festival on April 16. The festival continues through mid-May.

Specific duties mentioned in the help wanted ad include:

Tea-leaf pickers will be required to collect “mouth lip tea (kou chun cha)” during the harvest season. They must clean their mouths and bodies on time every day and work out often. The daily pay is 500 yuan, or $75.

The so-called “mouth lip tea” comes from a legend that tea leaves used to be picked by fairy maidens with their mouths. When boiling water is poured onto these tea leaves, fairy maidens will ascend amidst steam into the sky. Tea made from these leaves has refreshing aroma and taste and can even cure diseases.


Leaves picked by mouth and spit into holder between breasts

Note that a discontinued practice of virgins picking tea in the middle of the night and carrying leaves between their breasts to absorb virgin body scent is said to have made great tea. It was sold as “tea in front of breasts.”

(H/T Interested Participant)

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

German gas station charges $200 per gallon to deter customers: “German drivers were left stunned today after a gas station was caught charging $14 per litre in a bid to stop customers from filling up. The station was running low amid a nationwide shortage due to Easter traffic and a holiday ban on fuel tankers. Police were called to the Esso gas station near Stuttgart after it raised the price in a deliberate move to deter motorists, German news website The Local reported. Several customers filled up without noticing the hike, despite warning signs on the pump not to do so, German newspaper Bild reported. One customer told Bild he put 21 litres in his BMW and was asked to pay $294.”

British TV chef (above) says curves are the key to looking young: “Some women rely on diet and exercise to stay young, while others swear by lotions and potions. But, according to Nigella Lawson, the best weapon against ageing is a curvy figure. The 51-year-old is convinced that her voluptuous physique keeps her looking young and claims that she would “age 10 years straight away” if she lost weight. And she insists she is happy with what she sees in the mirror, despite believing she is “built like a shot-putter”. “I love food and I love cooking so therefore I never deprive myself. Thinness is fantastic for clothes, but I don’t do fashion.”

Macho bus drivers not wanted: “A town near Buenos Aires, wary of the screeching stops and careening turns it says typifies male drivers, has hired exclusively women to shuttle its passengers around. “With women driving, the bus line is more family oriented, more friendly,” said Rafaela Nuyl, 34, one of 28 newly hired drivers for the new bus service in Vicente Lopez. The bus line in the town of 270,000, which has been operating since the beginning of the month, makes frequent stops at local primary schools, elder day care centres and a maternity hospital, said officials in Vicente Lopez. They underscored the importance that drivers need to use kid-glove care when chauffeuring sometimes frail or very young passengers around the town. “As a bus line that transports children and elderly people, we wanted to have drivers who drive in a gentle manner,” said Luis Fusco, the town’s top transportation official.”

Lucky airline flight: “Ryanair has launched an enquiry after three passengers on the same flight each won a car worth £11,500 after playing its in-flight scratchcard game. The three passengers, who were flying from Milan to Madrid last Monday, won the prize after buying one of the airline’s £2 scratchcards, despite an average of one car being won each month. The airline blamed a printing error by Brandforce, the company which runs the game, but has promised that all three winners will receive their vehicles. Ryanair began selling scratchcards in 2008 in an attempt to further increase its additional or “ancillary” revenues. Around a quarter of the airline’s annual earnings are generated by ancillary revenues.”

Morris men must allow in morris women – but not to dance: “For centuries, traditional morris men have been able to shake their hankies and wield their sticks and bells unencumbered by female involvement. Now Labour’s Equality Act has forced the country’s men-only morris dancing clubs to open their doors to female members. To head off the threat of a legal challenge, the Morris Ring, the country’s oldest morris dancing organisation, has changed its constitution to allow women to join. Equality, however, only stretches so far: women will be allowed as musicians and in other “organisational” roles but will still not be permitted to dance with the men. The Ring, which represents 200 morris clubs across England, claims that the folk dance is a traditionally male activity and that because of its arduous nature, women should not be able to dance with men.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Some Easter humor

April 26, 2011 at 4:07 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!”

His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you ‘know’ what the Bible means?

The son replied, “I do know!”

“Okay,” said his father. “What does the Bible mean?”

“That’s easy, Daddy…” the young boy replied excitedly,” It stands for ‘Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.’

=======

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

“Is there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk.

“Only the Ten Commandments.” answered the lady.

========

“Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning.”

========

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter.

Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: “I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here, I’ll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses.”

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note “I’ve circled this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket I’ll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.”

========

There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.”

========

While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign… “Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.”

========

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, “Boys and girls, what do we know about God?”

A hand shot up in the air. “He is an artist!” said the kindergarten boy.

“Really? How do you know?” the teacher asked.

“You know – Our Father, who does art in Heaven… “

========

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

“Reverend,” said the young man, “I’m so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.”

The minister chuckled, “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my business.”

========

People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.

========

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.

The daughter answered, “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilt.”

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about.

He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.”

========

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

“Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But, you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star Spangled Banner.” And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Distance makes the heart grow fonder: “Mrs Sheppard-Jakovic was a 60-year-old widow when she met Mr Jakovic, a 59-year-old lawyer, five years ago on the Queen Elizabeth II cruise liner. They fell for each other after discovering a mutual love of music and singing and began taking regular cruises together. The couple got married a year later and had two wedding days – one in Wales and one in the U.S.. The mother-of-two still lives in Lisvane, Cardiff, while Jay practises as an attorney in Albany, New York, around 3,300 miles away. The pair take it in turns to visit each other – making the trip about once a month. They say their transatlantic marriage works and they are ‘very happy’ together.”

Allergic mother-to-be forced to live on Big Macs during pregnancy… and gives birth to a 10lb 2oz whopper!: “When Suzanne Franklin fell pregnant, she was at a loss as to how she would eat for two. 23-year-old had suffered from extreme food allergies for year from eggs to dairy and fruit and vegetables. Doctors warned her that pregnancy would make the symptoms worse but that antihistamines could harm her baby. But Ms Franklin knew she wasn’t allergic to McDonald’s burgers – so she ate a Big Mac burger everyday throughout her pregnancy. Any worries about her unusual diet affecting her baby’s growth were unfounded – as she has given birth to her own 10Ib 2oz whopper. Ms Franklin said: `All those burgers definitely didn’t do him any harm. It was the only thing I could eat safely during my pregnancy, so I just lived on them. `When Harry was born and the doctors told me that he weighed over 10Ib’s I just couldn’t believe it. `I was worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrients for me and the baby – but Harry definitely proved that wrong.”

Meet the robin that just loves to pose for the camera: “It can be one of the hardest subjects to capture on film. As any photographer will tell you, taking pictures of wild animals in their natural habitat requires patience, dedication and the ability to stay hidden for hours until that vital split-second moment when your subject eventually steps into the frame. Or at least that’s normally the case. But for amateur snapper Nicky Hepburn, photographing one particular animal involves nothing more than making sure her camera is primed and ready. For the 34-year-old has struck up a remarkable relationship with a robin that loves to pose for her. Whenever Nicky steps out into her garden, the confident bird arrives right on cue and appears more than willing to model for the camera.”

Satirists trick the New York Times: “The New York Times has run many a correction in its more than century and a half run, but it’s doubtful many have been as cringe-worthy as one that ran atop the corrections list in Sunday’s edition of the paper. It reads: “A series of pictures last Sunday of covers of the magazine Tiger Beat, with an article about how the original teen-girl tabloid has remained virtually unchanged since its inception in 1965, erroneously included a parody cover, produced by the satiric newspaper The Onion, that featured a picture of President Obama.” The Onion ran the fake cover – featuring the then-presidential candidate with the caption “Barack: ‘I sing in the shower!’ +More personal facts!” – in June 2007, with a satirical article headlined, “Barack Obama Tiger Beat Cover Clinches Slumber Party Vote.”

Last typewriter factory left in the world closes its doors: “It’s an invention that revolutionised the way we work, becoming an essential piece of office equipment for the best part of a century. But after years of sterling service, that bane for secretaries has reached the end of the line. Godrej and Boyce – the last company left in the world that was still manufacturing typewriters – has shut down its production plant in Mumbai, India with just a few hundred machines left in stock. Although typewriters became obsolete years ago in the west, they were still common in India – until recently. Demand for the machines has sunk in the last ten years as consumers switch to computers. The company’s general manager, Milind Dukle, told India’s Business Standard newspaper: ‘We are not getting many orders now. ‘Till 2009, we used to produce 10,000 to 12,000 machines a year. But this might be the last chance for typewriter lovers. Now, our primary market is among the defence agencies, courts and government offices.’”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Back to the ’50s

April 25, 2011 at 6:22 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Kitten Von Mew, dressed in a 1950s swimsuit, poses for photographs on the urban beach at the Southbank Centre in London. The Southbank Centre is celebrating the 60th anniversary of the Festival of Britain with a roof-top garden, an urban beach, several art installations and a row of beach huts.

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Men with feminine faces more likely to be a hit with women: “Men with feminine faces will be luckier in love as more women are attracted to them than masculine men, according to a new study. Most women prefer men with more feminine shaped faces and darker skin, according the research by psychologists at New York and Princeton universities. But the investigation found that men typically also want women’s faces to be feminine with plump lips and wide eyes. Two groups of men and women were shown a selection of thousands of computer-generated faces of the opposite sex to rate, which had been manipulated to look either more masculine or feminine.”

Honest taxi driver: “An honest cab driver has returned $50,000 to a Middle Eastern businessman – after he left the small fortune in the back of his taxi. Shocked Nigel Lipscombe, 54, discovered bundles of cash – worth £30,000 – stuffed inside a rucksack abandoned on the backseat after dropping off a passenger in Cambridge, Cambridgeshire. But instead of pocketing the cash, which is equivalent of a year-and-a-half’s wages, kind-hearted Nigel drove his taxi straight to the city’s police station. Incredibly the passenger was walking out of the station just seconds after reporting to police he had lost the cash. Nigel handed back the money then gave the Arab businessman a lift to a local pub to celebrate – and even pocketed a $500 tip.”

The stunning tulip fields of Holland: “A vast patchwork of kaleidoscopic colour, Holland’s tulip fields are clearly nothing to be sneezed at. From the air it looks as though a giant toddler armed with a box of super-sized crayons has been let loose on the Dutch countryside… if the lines weren’t quite so perfect. The vibrant blues, reds, pinks and yellows sprawl as far as the eye can see in Lisse, western Netherlands, where farmers hope to make huge profits selling them to florists and supermarkets around the world. Tens of thousands of tourists have flocked to catch a glimpse of these spectacular quilted farmlands in all their technicolour glory. Many flower-gazers are so excited by the views that they have parked caravans along the bulbfields in a bid to soak up every last hue.”

The age of nervousness strikes again: “An Alaska Airlines jet was evacuated Friday afternoon at the Orange County, Calif., airport after a suspicious powder was reported in a lavatory. It turned out to be toilet paper remnants, NBC News reported. A flight attendant aboard Flight 508, which originated in Seattle, discovered a tissue containing a “white dust,” Alaska Airlines Spokeswoman Bobbie Egan told NBC News. As standard practice, the flight crew radioed ahead to John Wayne Airport and the plane was met by a hazardous materials team, Egan said. The 151 passengers and six crew members evacuated safely. The material appears to be remnants of toilet paper, said Rachel Gibson, airport spokeswoman.”

Man tries to hijack flight with nail file: “Cabin crew successfully overpowered a man who tried to hijack a Paris-Rome plane and take it to Libya. Valeriy Tolmashev, from Kazakhstan, approached an air hostess on the Alitalia flight and held a small knife or nail file against her neck. He was quickly overpowered by four stewards and passengers who wrestled him to the floor before frogmarching him back to his seat where he was given a sedative. The flight arrived in Rome’s Fiumicino airport and Mr Tolmashev was handed over to police. All 131 passengers on the flight were safe. Sources said Mr Tolmashev was an adviser to Kazakhstan’s delegation at UNESCO, the UN educational, scientific and cultural organisation, in Paris. The cabin staff’s intervention was so quick and effective at the front of the plane that passengers at the back did not notice anything.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

She married a rich Jewish doctor twice her age. I wonder why?

April 24, 2011 at 4:06 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Story here

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Free-for-all after computerized supermarket opens by itself on Good Friday: “A computer glitch at a New Zealand supermarket led to its doors being opened despite being officially closed, allowing shoppers to walk away with free groceries. At 8am Friday, the New Zealand supermarket’s computerized system opened its doors and switched on its lights, ready for business as usual. The only problem was nobody had actually told the computer it was Good Friday, a day when supermarkets in New Zealand don’t open, and there was not a checkout person in sight. That didn’t stop the locals in the North Island city of Hamilton, and soon the Pak ‘n Save aisles were as busy as any normal day, although shoppers were filling their carts and walking straight past the checkout to their cars. Police, alerted by a member of the public who told them dozens of people were leaving with “truckloads of groceries,” raced to the scene but by then most people had finished their “shopping” and already left.”

Pair clock up $5000 taxi fare across US: “Two friends who hired a New York City cab driver to drive them across the US for $US5000 have arrived in Los Angeles. John Belitsky and Dan Wuebben have reached California after a six-day trip. The cab made a pit stop in Las Vegas, where the friends won more than $2000 at the craps and blackjack tables. They told the New York Post that they woke up cabbie Mohammed Alam “with a shower of $100 bills”. The pair told the newspaper the idea for the trip was hatched during a birthday party. The two friends haven’t yet said how they’ll get back. The cab driver says a friend will help him make the drive home.”

Happy Meal: Teenager scoops a £500,000 jackpot after eating his first Big Mac: “A teenager got more than he bargained after he popped into McDonald’s for his first Big Mac and walked away with £500,000. Shocked Josh Sargeant, 17, hit the jackpot after taking part in the food chain’s Monopoly Game in which participants have to collect different stickers. Players receive ‘streets’ with their food and drink meals and qualify for prizes by collecting matching sets. The lucky teen had been given Park Lane and completed the set after finding a ‘Mayfair’ sticker on his soft drink.”

What a stinker! World’s smelliest flower opens for the first time in a DECADE: “For botanists, it doesn’t get more exciting than this – after 75 years, the Titan Arum plant has unfurled its leaves and is in full bloom. For curious crowds who gathered, they perhaps realised that a once-in-a-lifetime look is more than enough – thanks to its pungent odour of rotting flesh. The flower, nicknamed ‘Corpse flower’, bloomed late on Good Friday at the University of Basel, Switzerland and is expected to remain open until Easter Sunday. The eight foot plant, which is indigenous to Sumatra’s rainforests in Indonesia, has the largest unbranched shoot in the world. On average, they bloom once in a decade. It produces umbrella-sized petals which open to a diameter of three to four feet. Its distinctive smell can be detected from half a mile away. The odour, which is usually strongest at night, is meant to attract pollinators such as carrion beetles and flesh flies.”

‘Sterilised’ mom has baby: “A mother who became pregnant within months of a sterilisation operation is suing the hospital for the cost of raising the child. The Supreme Court legal action could see the Gippsland mother receive as much as $200,000 in compensation from the hospital that performed the allegedly bungled sterilisation procedure. The mother and her husband had five children when they opted for the permanent birth-control method. The couple are seeking hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise the boy to the age of 21, including education and medical expenses. “We love our children very much, but the addition of a sixth child has put a big strain on our family financially,” the mother told the Sunday Herald Sun. Ms Booth said this was a case of “medical mismanagement”. The woman had since undergone a successful sterilisation, where the surgeon found the Filshie clip on the right side was not on the fallopian tube, but attached to the peritoneum – a membrane lining the abdomen.” [Dumb surgeon!]

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

A to Z guide to a foreign language — finance and stockmarket talk

April 23, 2011 at 2:14 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The jargon used in the financial markets is a language all of its own. So we thought a quick A to Z might be handy for the next close encounter with your investment adviser

A Acid test. No it’s not a segment from MasterChef, it’s the measure of how quickly a company can meet short-term debts. It’s also for Air Pocket Stock, a stock that falls sharply after bad news.

B Broker and that’s what they’ll make ya as the saying goes. It’s also for Barefoot Pilgrim, an unsophisticated investor who often losses their way, and Bugs, which is a basket of unhedged gold stocks.

C Cage, the department within a broking firm that receives and distributes physical securities. It also stands for Convertible preferably red, sleek and very fast but the reality is this is a bit of a clunker stock or bond that later converts to an ordinary share.

D Dead Cat Bounce A Wall Street term that means a small, temporary recovery in the price of a dying stock. Its also for Dog and Pony Show, slang for financial road show. Day Trader is a more socially acceptable form of gambling.

E Eating Stock this is when you must buy a stock not because you want it but because you’re forced to. It also stands for EBIT “Earnings before interest and tax (some say irregularities and tampering).

F Fine. “A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well” – Anonymous. F also is for FOK, yes, be careful how you pronounce it, which stands for fill or kill, meaning to buy or sell a stock, which if it is not done immediately the order is cancelled.

G Gazunder. When you agree to buy a house or asset and then cut your offer just before contracts are finalised. It’s the first cousin of Gazumping, when the seller accepts your offer but at the last minute takes a higher one from someone else.

H Haircut, the amount of money that is lost between buying and selling. It also stands for Happiness. “What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money” US comedian Henny Youngman.

I Institutional investor, the big guns of the investment game like fund managers and banks. It is also for In The Tank which is share market speak for prices have finished the day lower or an individual stock price is dropping rapidly.

J Jeep. Jeeps are mortgages that start off with reduced monthly payments and then gradually increase, in other words, graduated payments, also known as GPs. It is also for Jobber which is not a hit man for the mob but a wholesale buyer who specialises in small or odd job lots.

K Killer bees. Those who help a company to fend off an unwelcome takeover. Often investment bankers who devise nasty strategies to make the target difficult to acquire. K also is for Kangaroo Bond which is when a foreign-based company issues bonds in Australian denomination.

L Long legs nothing to do with fashion models or race horses. A long leg in finance speak means the part of an option play that represents a long call option. It also stands for LIFO, last in first out a reference to counting stock and inventory as it is sold, and it also relates to those first to go in a mass sacking or redundancy.

M Moral-suasion, a phrase in money markets to describe persuasion through influence rather than coercion. It’s also for Mineral rights. “The meek shall inherit the earth but not the mineral rights” billionaire J.P. Getty.

N Naked option put away your binoculars, a naked option is a type of share market option that is held on its own and not used to hedge a holding in another asset or option. It’s also for Noise, market fluctuations that are not relevant in its overall direction.

O Out the window, which means a very successful share issue that flew out the window to investors waiting to buy them. It is also for Ostrich, slang for investors who deliberately ignore important information about a company or situation.

PPE ratio the most common way analysts value a stock. It’s a stock’s market price divided by its earnings per share. P is also for Poison Pill, a tactic where a financial disaster will be triggered by a company’s existing management if someone else takes it over.

Q Quicksand , a fire sale of assets or attempt to raise new capital in a rapidly deteriorating market. It’s also for Quid Pro Quo, from the Latin meaning something for something. One party provides a service and in return gets another service instead of cash.

R Rehypothecation which can frequently lead to hypotension and hyperventilation. It’s when brokers pledge the shares in a customers’ margin account to a bank as collateral for the brokers’ loans.

S Skirt length. This relates to finance theory when skirt lengths are high, stock prices are high. When skirt lengths are low, stock prices are low. S is also for Standard and Poor’s, a credit rating agency.

T Terminal bonus, it sounds fatal and it usually is. This is the name given to a bonus payment that comes at the end of an insurance investment.

U Umbrella fund a type of trust with lots of sub-fund, so investors can often switch between the sub-funds without having to pay exit and entry fees.

V Voodoo Economics, a term referring to the emphasis on making it easy for people to produce goods, such as lower taxes and higher incentives, originally coined by former US president George W. Bush.

W Widows, orphans. These are low-risk stocks which keep paying a dividend every year. Widows and orphans can rely on them.

X Ex. There are a lot of exes and I’m not just talking divorce, but all usually mean money has been paid out. XD means ex-dividend, X-dis means ex-distribution, XR is ex-rights.

Y Yoyo, a stock that fluctuates wildly. Y is also for Yak, a US phrase to describe what you do into a bucket when you realise your shares plunged.

Z Zombie Banks, banks which act and look like they are solvent but are actually dead. It’s also for Zero and Zippo the real return from many superannuation funds during the past three years.

Original story here

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Penguins find love with keeper’s boots: “It’s spring in Germany, love is in the air and a young penguin’s fancy turns to thoughts of… rubber boots. And not just any boots – black and white ones that apparently look like a lady penguin lying on her stomach. In fact, so many of the male penguins at Sea Life Konstanz became infatuated with their keeper’s boots that he was forced to switch footwear to blue ones, Germany’s The Local reported overnight. “For three days I’ve been going with blue rubber boots in the enclosure,” said keeper Dennis Kubler of his attempts to get the penguins to turn their amorous attentions toward each other instead of his feet.”

Rich tastes: Termites dine on a fortune in banknotes: “Police say termites have devoured currency notes worth 10 million rupees ($200,000) in a steel bank chest in northern India. Officer Navneet Rana says the bank manager discovered the damage when he opened the reinforced room in an old bank building on Wednesday. Rana told The Associated Press: “It’s a matter of investigation how termites attacked bundles of currency notes stacked in a steel chest.” Rana said the termites had damaged bank furniture and documents in the past. The money was put in the bank chest in January. Rana says police have registered a case of negligence by bank officials in Barabanki, a town 30km southwest of Lucknow, the Uttar Pradesh state capital.”

Found: the world’s least stressful job: “Stressed out by your job and looking for a change? Chances are you work in media, and maybe should consider something in health care. A new US report on the most, and least stressful professions, showed that more than half of the 10 least-stressful jobs are in the health care, led by audiologists, who assess and treat hearing disorders. “Professions that involve low stress have very little danger and minimal physical demands,” said Tony Lee, publisher of careercast.com, a jobs website which compiled the report. Other jobs in the field that fill the bill for low pressure and competition, with shorter work weeks, include dietitian, dental hygienist, speech pathologist, occupational therapist and chiropractor.”

With rare vinyl records selling for up to £8,000, do you have a fortune sitting in your attic?: “It’s time to dig out those dusty old LPs as an increased demand for rare vinyl has sent prices spiralling. Original pressings of classic recordings are now being seen by experts as safe long-term investment opportunities. Record Collector magazine has compiled a list of the best 51 records for investors and at the top is the ultra-rare withdrawn Sex Pistols single God Save the Queen on A&M Records. The label famously dumped the band before it was released and destroyed most of the copies, making it worth £8,000 today on the rare occasions a copy turns up. The Beatles debut Please Please Me is in second place at £3500, although pristine copies are believed to be worth much more.”

Helping hound: The pet who can do household chores: “Jesse the Jack Russell helps around the house with pretty much every household chore and can even put his own dog bowl into the dishwasher. His owner, Heather Brook, based in Hollywood, has trained him how to untie her shoelaces, take off her socks and put them in the washing machine. In fact, so amazing is Jesse that he has also been trained how to stretch before he does exercises including step aerobics. His owner, Ms Brook said on her website: ‘My relationship with Jesse is that of a best friend, teacher, and guide. All of Jesse’s education has been done by me. We work together as a team to achieve all of our goals.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

The Tetanus shot‏

April 22, 2011 at 6:08 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat.

His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, “Where are you going?”

He replies, “I’m going to the doctor.”

She says, “Why, are you sick?”

He says, “Nope, I’m going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.”

Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat.

He says, “Where the heck are you going”?

She answers, “I’m going to the doctor, too.”

He says, “Why, what do you need?”

She says, “If you’re going to start using that rusty old thing, I’m getting a Tetanus shot.”

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Numbskull British cops call in doctor to tell them headless man is dead: “When police pulled a headless body from a river, you would not have thought it needed a doctor to confirm the person was dead. But there are rules and procedures to follow. And a medic was duly called in to declare that the man in question was actually ‘life extinct’. Two Environment Agency contractors clearing Japanese knotweed from the bank had discovered the headless corpse floating in the water. It was so badly decomposed, it was impossible to establish how the person had died. And it was only through DNA tests that police identified him as Polish national Waldemar Drobig, 32, a former baker who slept rough and had previously been arrested for petty theft… Recording an open verdict at Westminster coroner’s court yesterday, Dr Radcliffe said: ‘The cause of death in uncertain. ‘It is not possible to rule out foul play one hundred per cent.’ [No head??]

The bungling British robber who tried to hold up a shop with a water pistol: “A masked robber came a cropper when he held up a shop manager – with a plastic water pistol. Richard Wilkinson, 37, burst into a Sheffield convenience store brandishing the gun wrapped in a carrier bag and demanded money. But quick-thinking Peter Huxley realised the gun was a fake, grabbed it and snapped it in half before wrestling him to the ground as a terrified customer cowered behind shelves. Sarah Wright, prosecuting at Sheffield Crown Court: ‘It is the sad fact that Mr Huxley was the previous victim of a gunpoint robbery in his shop. He knew what he was looking for and he immediately knew it was a toy gun. Police were called, they looked at CCTV footage, one of the officers recognised Wilkinson and he was arrested.”

Mankind Nears the End of the Age of Speed: “When the U.S. space shuttle completes its final flight, planned for June, mankind will take another step back from its top speed. Space shuttles are the fastest reusable manned vehicles ever built. Their maximum was only exceeded by single-shot moon rockets. The shuttles’ retirement follows the grounding over recent years of other ultrafast people carriers, including the supersonic Concorde and the speedier SR-71 Blackbird spy plane. With nothing ready to replace them, our species is decelerating—perhaps for the first time in history. It has been a good two-century sprint, says Neil Armstrong, who in 1969 covered almost 240,000 miles in less than four days to plant the first human footprint on the Moon. Through the 18th century, he noted in an email exchange, humans could travel by foot or horse at approximately six miles per hour. “In the 19th, with trains, they reached 60 mph. In the 20th, with jet aircraft, we could travel at 600 mph.”

Peanuts on planes protected by law: “Packets of peanuts are in no danger of disappearing completely from airplanes. In a nutshell, there’s a law protecting them. Last year, the Department of Transportation asked the public about a possible peanut ban on planes and other measures it said it was considering to address severe allergies among fliers. But when the new rules concerning issues from airline fees and bumping to tarmac delays were announced Wednesday, the department said it won’t take on the peanut issue because of a 12-year-old law blocking the agency from tampering with peanut policy without more scientific study. Although the government can’t impose peanut restrictions for airlines, some carriers have developed their own policies for allergy sufferers. Some no longer serve peanuts and may create peanut-free buffer zones.”

Footballer drops soccer trophy under wheels of bus: “Dropping the cup is the kind of things footballers usually joke about as they parade the silverware. But last night Real Madrid defender Sergio Ramos let slip the Copa del Rey trophy – the Spanish equivalent of the FA cup – from the top of an open-topped double-decker bus. The defender somehow lost his grip on the King’s Cup and watched it drop agonisingly down the front of the bus before slipping under the wheels as the coach driver ploughed on. The trophy appeared to be flattened, although Ramos – a World Cup winner with Spain in South Africa – later claimed it was ‘ok’. Television pictures also appeared to show emergency services gathering up the broken pieces of the cup. Tellingly, it was also absent from the traditional celebration spot of the Plaza de Cibeles in central Madrid.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Say that again?

April 21, 2011 at 3:22 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Two bottles of 200-year-old champagne preserved in Baltic Sea shipwreck up for auction: “Two bottles of bubbly, preserved for nearly 200 years in a Baltic Sea shipwreck, are heading for the auction block. The government of the Aland Islands – an autonomous region of Finland situated between Sweden and Finland – said on Wednesday it will auction off one bottle each of the oldest preserved examples of Veuve Clicquot and Juglar in the islands’ main city of Mariehamn on June 3. A total of 145 bottles of champagne were found 50 metres deep south of the islands in July 2010, including 95 from the now-defunct Champagne house Juglar, 46 from Veuve Clicquot and four from Heidsieck. Experts have previously said the bottles, dating from the early 19th century, could fetch more than $US70,000 each at auction.”

Entire workforce at French factory go on strike… because the boss only speaks English: “French workers have staged an uprising with cries of ‘Anglo-Saxon imperialism’ – because their British boss can’t speak the native tongue. The 184 staff at Thermal Ceramics, an English company based in France, are holding walk-outs every day because discussions over their wages were getting lost in translation. Thierry Juvin, who represents the workers in Saint-Marcellin-en-Forez, in the Loire Valley, said: ‘We say “hello” in French but then communication stops. Every meeting is an ordeal.’ Mr Juvin said protests have been held most days since bosses who could only speak English began managing them earlier this year. The representative said staff, most of whom belong to one of France’s largest trade union’s CGT, had previously not gone on strike for more than two decades. France has a notoriously nationalistic workforce, with staff frequently complaining about the growing Anglicisation of working practices within the global economy.

Russia wants more babies: “Russia’s population will plummet by 30 per cent in the next four decades due to a falling birth rate, Vladimir Putin warned today. The Russian Prime Minister issued the warning as he announced plans to invest $53billion to help raise reproduction rates in the country by 2015. Despite being the worlds largest country at over 6.5million square miles, high rates of smoking, alcoholism, pollution and poverty, together with falling rates, mean Russia’s population will shrink to 116 million by 2050 from 143million last year. Prime Mininster Putin wants to boost the nation’s birth rate by 25 per cent in the next three years to counteract the predicted decline. Addressing parliament in an annual report today, he said: ‘According to preliminary calculations, between 2011 and 2015 some 1.5trillion roubles will be invested in demography projects.”

Undersea horror: “Marine photographer Matt Oldfield was diving off the coast of the volcanic island of Sengeang in Indonesia when he spotted this Whitemargin Stargazer emerging from the ocean floor. The usually elusive fish inhabits reef flats and coastal bottoms in tropical regions of the Red Sea and the Indian and Pacific Oceans. Rarely seen, it lies concealed in the sand or mud most of the time, with just its eyes showing, before ambushing prey drawn close by a lure in its mouth. But this specimen, perhaps made curious by the flare of the camera lens, broke cover just as Mr Oldfield, 40, from Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, floated above. Stargazers get their name both from being nocturnal and from their habit of looking up, a necessity when the rest of their rather large body is buried in the sand. Not visible in these pictures are spines the fish have at the broadest part of their back. Not only are these spines hard and sharp, they’re also toxic enough to cause a serious wound in any diver stupid enough to provoke it.”

Do humpback whales use the stars to navigate? Scientists baffled by stunning accuracy of 10,000-mile migrations: “Humpback whales can travel thousands of miles deep underwater in an astonishingly straight line – and the sun, moon and stars may be why they never get lost. Scientists used satellite technology to track 16 tagged whales as they migrated thousands of kilometres northwards from the South Atlantic and South Pacific – but could not work out how they manage to navigate their way through the ocean’s turbulent waters with such accuracy. But it has now emerged the huge mammals may use a combination of the sun’s position, Earth’s magnetism and even star maps to guide their journeys, which can up 10,000 miles long. Experts say humpbacks never deviate more than about five degrees from their migration courses. Most of the whales in the experiment, which were tracked between 2003 and 2010, maintained an almost dead-straight course, deviating by less than one degree – despite the effects of weather and ocean currents.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Next Page »

Blog at WordPress.com. | The Pool Theme.
Entries and comments feeds.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 29 other followers