Willie Nelson’s 75th Birthday PoemDecember 12, 2010 at 1:33 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Whether or not you are a country music fan, these are truly the words of a deep thinker, and a highly intelligent person. So simple, yet so profound! Wonder that a famous philosopher with such wisdom and maturity could be so concise and succinct in phrasing his feelings at this turning point in his life.
The Penis Poem: “I have outlived my pecker.”
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I’ve got a full time job,
To find the f***in’ thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!
Odd news from around the world
Can Topless Women Keep Muslim Extremists Out of Denmark?: “A few weeks ago, Peter Skaarup had a novel idea for how to keep violent Muslim extremists out of Demark: greet them at the border with topless ladies. Skaarup, the foreign policy spokesman for the right-wing Danish People’s Party, wants to include shots of sunbathing women in a video that will be screened as part of an immigration test for potential citizens. According to Skaarup, footage of topless women would help emphasize the point that Denmark is an open, free, liberal-minded society, and that hard-line Muslims may want to reconsider their decision to move there… This Wouldn’t Actually Work, says Naser Khader, a member of the Danish parliament and founder of the Moderate Muslims movement. “A pair of naked breasts is no protection against extremism,” Khader wrote on his Facebook page. “It’s quite the opposite, fundamentalists are so obsessed with sex that they will be pouring in over the borders. Maybe we should try with naked pigs.”
‘Joyriding’ British troops crash £1.5 million Warthog troop carrier: “Airmen allegedly crashed a £1.5 million Warthog troop carrier heading for the Afghan frontline while on a joyride, it emerged today. They were said to have caused nearly £40,000 damage to the brand new vehicle while careering around the RAF Akrotiri base in Cyprus. A spokesman said: ‘The damaged vehicle has been fully repaired. This incident, which is now under investigation, has not caused any delay to its deployment to Afghanistan. Soldiers or ‘Tankies’ from the 2nd Royal Tank Regiment are in Afghanistan and have traded in their old Viking vehicles for the state-of-the-art Warthog, which is better able to cope with roadside bombs. RAF Akrotiri is a refuelling stopover for troops and kit going to and from Afghanistan.”
Ancient Buried Lakes of the Sahara: “An ancient lake bed 350 kilometers long has been discovered beneath the sands of Egypt’s vast Sahara desert. Geologist Ted Maxwell at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum in Washington DC, and colleagues examined high resolution pictures (shown below) of south western Egypt taken by NASA’s Shuttle Radar Topography Mission (SRTM), a modified radar system used onboard Space Shuttle Endeavour in February 2000 and identified a region in an area called Tushka where water formed a lake after overflowing from the Nile. The lake appeared around 250,000 years ago – during a period of wet climate when the region would have been covered in grasslands – and dried up 80,000 years ago, covering an area of 68,200 square kilometers at its peak. The extent of the lake explains how fossilized fish from the last interglacial period ended up at Bir Tarfawi, 400 km west of the Nile.”
Even school photos now not what they seem: “The practice of altering photos, long a standard in the world of glossy magazines and fashion shoots, has trickled down to the wholesome domain of the school portrait. Parents who once had only to choose how many wallet-size and 5-by-7 copies they wanted are now being offered options like erasing scars, moles, acne and braces, whitening teeth or turning a bad hair day into a good one. School photography companies around the country have begun to offer the service on a widespread basis over the past half-dozen years, in response to parents’ requests and to developments in technology that made fixing the haircut a 5-year-old gave herself, or popping a tooth into a jack-o’-lantern smile, easy and inexpensive. And every year, the companies say, the number of requests grows.”
Pickup with missing door hard to find? “Police have released photos of a young man driving an ageing pickup with a missing door three months after it was stolen from a north Queensland resort. Police at Kuranda, near Cairns, are hoping the young man, snapped at a fast food restaurant drive-through, could hold the key to finding a pickup and wish to speak to him. The older-model white Toyota HiLux utility is described as a single cab, tray back with a missing drivers’ door. The Kuranda Spa and Resort Logo is visible on the passenger side of the ute”
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