Global warming science explained

June 30, 2010 at 5:13 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Buddhist monk filmed naked women: “A Cambodian court charged a Buddhist monk on Tuesday for secretly filming hundreds of women as they bathed naked with holy water at a temple and then sharing the clips. Net Khai, 37, faces up to a year in jail after being charged with “producing and distributing pornographic images” by Phnom Penh Municipal Court, prosecutor Ek Chheng Huot said. He was arrested at his pagoda in the Cambodian capital on Saturday over allegations that he secretly taped the women pouring sacred water over themselves in a pagoda bathroom, said police chief Touch Naruth. He was subsequently stripped of his religious status. “He has filmed hundreds of women since 2008. They came to the monk to be blessed with holy water, but they were secretly filmed,” Touch Naruth said. There are more than 55,000 Buddhist monks across Cambodia, which has 4300 pagodas.”

British brokerage lost £6m after drunk broker bought 7 MILLION barrels of crude oil: “A rogue trader who blew £345million on seven million barrels of oil while drunkenly using his home computer has been fined £72,000. Steve Perkins sat up all night drinking at his redbrick semi, and clicked ‘buy’ on the trade while in an ‘alcohol-induced blackout’. The 34-year-old broker from Essex sent global oil prices rocketing and caused chaos in the markets after a boozy golf weekend. Yesterday he was banned from the City and ordered to pay the £72,000 fine in monthly instalments over three years by the Financial Services Authority watchdog.” The deals ended up costing his company £6million and potentially cost companies worldwide more than £100million. He finally admitted what he had done later, when his trading access was suspended and the company sold off the rest of the oil, raking back all but £6million.

Leopard savaging a crocodile caught on camera: “The astonishing spectacle of a leopard savaging a crocodile has been captured for the first time on camera. A series of incredible pictures taken at a South African game reserve document the first known time that a leopard has taken on and defeated one of the fearsome reptiles. The giant cat raced out of cover provided by scrub and bushes to surprise the crocodile, which was swimming nearby. A terrible and bloody struggle ensued. Eventually, onlookers were amazed to see the leopard drag the crocodile from the water as the reptile fought back. With the crocodile snapping its powerful jaws furiously, the two animals somersaulted and grappled. Despite the crocodile’s huge weight and strength, the leopard had the upper hand catching its prey by the throat. Eventually the big cat was able to sit on top of the reptile and suffocate it.”

Text addiction? “Text-crazy teenagers are battling SMS-related disorders caused by excessive messaging. One message-mad customer sent 4000 texts in only nine days. The spike has caused academics to identify serious physical and mental disorders as a result of teenagers becoming text addicts. Anxiety, insecurity, depression and low self-esteem have all been identified by researchers as symptoms common among teenagers who have become text addicts. Jennie Carroll, a technology researcher from RMIT University in Melbourne, has been conducting a study of the effects of modern communication since 2001 and says that the mobile has become meshed into teenagers’ everyday lives. “Texting is quite tribal – it is just what teenagers do with phones,” she said.”

Bad writing contest winner: “An unseemly sentence that compares a kiss to the union of a thirsty gerbil and a giant water bottle has won the top prize in an annual bad writing contest. San Jose State University said today Molly Ringle of Seattle was the grand prize winner of the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which the university has sponsored since 1982. In her winning entry, Ms Ringle wrote: “For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss – a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.” The literary competition honours the memory of 19th English century writer Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, who famously opened his 1830 novel Paul Clifford, with the much-quoted, “It was a dark and stormy night”.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

How an unhappy mathematician pays his bills

June 29, 2010 at 2:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Miss Cornwall dethroned: “Miss Cornwall has been stripped of her crown after organisers discovered she is five years older than she claimed to be – and lives in a different county. Laura Anness, 27, lost her sash and title after she was found to have entered her age as 22 on the application form for the competition for every one of the last four years. The Miss Cornwall pageant, which she won earlier this month, is open to women aged between 17 and 24, who live or work in the West Country county. Unfortunately Miss Anness, an English teacher from Plymouth, Devon, does not meet either requirement”

Live on a hill? You’re streets ahead: “While most people looking for a home are swayed by the number of bedrooms or whether the children will get into the local school, a study reveals they should be looking at the first line of the address. Researchers have worked out the average price of Britain’s 858,000 residential streets, and sorted them according to their names. And the winners are people who are lucky enough to have ‘hill’ in the first line of their address. The average price of an address which ends with the word ‘hill’ is £341,446, which is nearly 60 per cent higher than the average price of just £217,624. The biggest losers are people who live on one of the country’s 59,000 ‘Streets.’ The average value of a home on a ‘street’ is just £155,515, the cheapest of all the road names.”

Scientists invent male contraceptive pill: “Scientists have developed the worlds male alternative to the female contraceptive pill. Unlike the jab form of the male pill it doesnt use a combination of the male hormone testosterone and the female hormone progesterone to block pregnancy. The scientist behind the male pill discovery has developed a tablet that removes a vital protein in sperm that is required for a woman to conceive. So while sperm still get through to the uterus they are unable to fertilise an egg. Using this approach, researchers believe they have a pill that is 100 pc effective at stopping pregnancy. Not only is it long lasting but it also has other pluses. There are no side effects as suffered by women who take the contraceptive pill.”

Chinese army helps its soldiers find love: “The People’s Liberation Army has said it will help its soldiers find love after a new rule banned Chinese troops from internet dating. Until now, members of the 2.3 million-strong Chinese army stationed in remote posts have relied on the internet for romance. But worried that lonely hearts might let sensitive information slip, the army has now banned online dating. Instead, PLA commanders will become matchmakers. On the island of Hainan, a paramilitary police officer has already organised a party for older cadres to meet women working at a local branch of China Mobile, the mobile phone company.”

Canine shrinks help Mailmen: “Post office bosses in Germany have reduced attacks on mailmen – by using animal psychologists. The canine shrinks were hired to teach terrified posties to think like dogs and avoid being bitten and chased on their rounds. Officials at Germany’s Deutsche Post service say the number of dog attacks has plunged by 80% since they started a pilot scheme in Munich. Postmen now carry dog biscuits and pepper spray and learn how to read animal body language to work out whether to offer a treat or defend themselves. “This is an excellent result. We’re very happy that fewer postmen – and fewer dogs – are being hurt,” said DP spokeswoman Eva Kirchesch.”

Crash survivor’s lucky clover: “Doctors treating a man, who had a lucky escape after a fence post speared through his chest, found a four-leaf clover stuck to his back. Raymond Curry, 20, was on his way to work when his Vauxhall Corsa overturned and rolled through a fence near his home in Cramlington, Northumberland. He was flown to hospital still impaled by the piece of wood, which had amazingly missed all of his vital organs. An air freshener inside the car somehow ended up inside one of his wounds, and was removed. It was at hospital that the lucky clover leaf was found on his back. Mr Curry, who now has the four-leaf clover framed on his bedroom wall, said: ‘I know how lucky I am to be alive. “I’d never even seen a four-leaf clover until this happened, so it was good timing, I suppose”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

An important message

June 28, 2010 at 2:12 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Spouses cause ‘more stress than our bosses’: “Spouses are a bigger source of stress than bosses, research shows. There may be no place like home, but if you want to relax then you might be better off at work, according to the survey. The poll of 3,000 men and women also found that husbands are more likely to send their wives’ blood pressure soaring than the other way round. Overall, 58 per cent of those surveyed said their spouse or partner was among those who put them under pressure. Just 43 per cent said the same of their manager. And 18 per cent of women said their partner added a lot of stress to their life – compared with just 12 per cent of men.”

Older DOES mean wiser, say scientists: “Brain power can improve as a person gets older, scientists have discovered. Although short-term memory and the ability to reason does decline with old age, long-term memory remains unaffected. And a person’s social skills, emotional intelligence and vocabulary may all get better. The findings cast doubt on the common belief that a person’s mental faculties peak in their twenties – and that it is all downhill from there. Scientists point to a growing body of evidence which shows that older people are better at rational decision making because their brains are less susceptible to surges of dopamine, a hormone that can lead to impulsive reactions. And their experience means that despite slower brain speed, they can often solve problems more quickly because they can draw on previous templates.”

A French exotic dancer has put on a strip show on top of Australia’s most famous rock: “Alizee Sery, 25, said she put on the impromptu show at Uluru as a “tribute” to Aborigines and their culture and to fulfill a lifelong dream. But the performance is likely to anger traditional owners who see Uluru as the most sacred place in Central Australia. The strip show is also likely to infuriate Parks Australia, which is under intense pressure to ban people from climbing the rock. “I do not mean in any way for this video to offend the Aboriginal culture,” she told The Sunday Territorian. “I am aware that Uluru is sacred in their culture. “My project is a tribute to the greatness of The Rock. What we need to remember is that traditionally, the Aboriginal people were living naked. So stripping down was a return to what it was like.”

Saucy Russian advertisement: “A NEW ad by a Russian airline featuring bikini-clad flight attendants washing planes has taken raunchiness to another level. The saucy clip promoting Moscow-based start-up airline Avianova shows women stripping out of their stewardess uniforms and washing the company’s planes. Avianova launched in August last year and serves 16 destinations within Russia. It has a fleet of five Airbus A320 planes, and has recently advertised fares starting from under $10.” [Video at link]

Six-year-old “terrorist”: “A six-year-old girl from Ohio [above] is on the US Department of Homeland Security’s “no fly” list. FOXNews.com said today, citing an affiliate television station in Cleveland, the little girl, Alyssa Thomas, was travelling with her parents from Cleveland to Minneapolis when a ticket agent notified the family she was on the list of restricted fliers. “We were, like, puzzled,” said her father, Dr Santhosh Thomas. “I’m like, well, she’s kinda six years old and this is not something that should be typical.” When the family tried to clear up the issue with Homeland Security, they received a letter notifying them that it could not be changed.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

If you thought I was mad before …

June 27, 2010 at 4:53 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

It’s a spectator at an English pop festival in Glastonbury recently

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

The ‘crazed sex poodle’ has fled to London: “Beset by allegations from a masseuse that he behaved like a “crazed sex poodle” at an American hotel during a global warming lecture tour, Al Gore has been quietly seeking some respite in London. Mandrake spotted the former vice-president last week at the restaurant Roussillon with 20 colleagues from Generation Investment Management, of which he is the chairman. His behaviour on this occasion was, happily, unimpeachable. In keeping with the environmentally sustainable lifestyle trumpeted by Gore, who made the global warming documentary An Inconvenient Truth, the restaurant in Belgravia says it provides “serious, sensitive and considered vegecentric food”. An unidentified 54-year-old woman has given police a detailed account of her claims that Gore groped and kissed her in an aggressive attempt to have sex during a night-time appointment in his hotel suite in Oregon.”

Road to nowhere: British council wastes £130,000 on pedestrian crossing that cannot be used: “A blundering council has wasted £130,000 of public money on a pedestrian road crossing that cannot be used. Bizarrely the puffin crossing was installed months after the same council granted residents Angela and Robin Wray planning permission for a driveway access to their house at exactly the same spot. Officials realised it would be unsafe to use the lights as pedestrians would have to stand at the entrance to the couple’s property. Meanwhile, Kirklees Council has been fighting an expensive losing battle to try and legally ban the retired teachers from using the drive that they were given permission to build. Officials issued a ‘stopping up order’ to stop the access being used by cars, but Robin Wray, 66, and his wife Angela, 63, successfully appealed the ban at a public inquiry last month. Now councillors are coming under fire for running up a six-figure bill. To add insult to injury, if the council backs down it will cost taxpayers a further £30,000 to remove the crossing in Holmfirth, West Yorkshire”.

Europe bans selling eggs by the dozen: “British shoppers are to be banned from buying eggs by the dozen under new regulations approved by the European Parliament. For the first time, eggs and ­other products such as oranges and bread rolls will be sold by weight instead of by the number contained in a packet. Until now, Britain has been exempt from EU regulations that forbid the selling of goods by number. But last week MEPs voted to end Britain’s deal despite objections from UK members. The new rules will mean that instead of packaging telling shoppers a box contains six eggs, it will show the weight in grams of the eggs inside, for example 372g. Or that a bag of white rolls has 322g inside instead of half a dozen. The rules will not allow both the weight and the quantity to be displayed.”

British Leftist politician leaves his money to much younger Polish wife: “A flamboyant former Labour MP has provoked a family feud by cutting his children out of his will and leaving almost all his £1.2 million fortune to his glamorous second wife – 50 years his junior. Leo Abse, who died two years ago aged 91, had faced objections from his son and daughter from his first marriage when he wed Polish-born Ania Czepulkowska ten years ago. The widower met Ania, a former electrician in Gdansk who later trained as a textiles designer, when she stopped to admire flowers outside his house overlooking the Thames. Mr Abse left his children no money in his will, while his wife still lives in the £2 million Georgian property in Chiswick, West London. His son Tobias, 53, a European history professor at London University, said: ‘Seeing that will was a tremendous shock. I assumed he would leave quite a bit to Ania but I had no idea he would leave her everything.’”

Blast-proof underpants: “They are certain to prompt sniggers back at barracks, but their purpose is deadly serious. British troops in Afghanistan may soon be using a new item of protective gear – blast-resistant underpants. With more powerful roadside bombs causing a rise in the number of groin injuries and other lower body damage, protective pants could soon be an essential part of the soldier’s kit. BCB International, a military accessories provider based in Cardiff, will soon be selling ‘blast boxers’ to the public for less than £60 a pair in knitted Kevlar. RAF medics say they have witnessed an increase in injuries to this most sensitive area of the male anatomy. The Kevlar underpants would not protect a soldier standing directly on a powerful IED but they could stop small fragments of a blast, according to bosses at BCB International.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Al Qaeda to go on strike

June 26, 2010 at 2:02 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

LONDON, 23 June — Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 20% this July from 72 to just 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers’ union (the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs, or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this action was unacceptable to its members, and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press,

Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth.

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, where he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained:

We sympathize with our workers’ concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are refusing to accept the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditures and laying people off. I don’t like cutting wages, but otherwise I’d hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.

Spokespersons for the union in Newcastle, Middlesbrough, Essex, and Australia stated that they would be unaffected, as there are no virgins in these areas anyway.

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings may be largely put down to the recent notoriety of the former White House correspondent, Helen Thomas. Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Kids aged five and seven kill wanted criminal: “Two Indian boys aged five and seven reportedly hacked to death a wanted criminal after recognising him from police reports. The Times of India said today the young brothers marched into a police station in Uttar Pradesh, northern India, in blood-drenched clothes before declaring: “Humne Mahendra ko maar dala (We have killed Mahendra).” Stunned lawmen drove the boys to a nearby orchard where the pair led them to the alleged fugitive’s butchered corpse. Officers spoke with the boys’ father, who confirmed that the pair had killed the career criminal, who was being hunted by police over unspecified offences. Local villagers confirmed that the two boys had carried out the killing themselves”

Man dies from heart attack after receiving receipt for his own cremation: “An elderly Indian man was so shocked to receive a bogus receipt for his own cremation service that he suffered a heart attack and died, The Times of India reported overnight. Frail Than Singh, 70, was left aghast after reading that he had supposedly been cremated the week before. But before the anxious dairy farmer could get to the bottom of what had happened he started complaining of chest pains. Relatives rushed him to the hospital but Singh suffered a massive heart attack and died. In a macabre twist, his body was subsequently delivered to the same crematorium in Ghaziabad, northeastern India. And in another apparent coincidence, it was issued with the serial number 89 — the same number listed on the mysterious letter”

Wife must cop her ex’s prostitute bill: “A husband who spent thousands of dollars on prostitutes and massages does not have to pay it back to his wife, the Family Court has ruled. The wife, 58, claimed her husband “wasted” the money on brothels and holidays to the Philippines after 24 years of marriage and asked the court to order him to pay it back into the family purse so that it was part of matrimonial assets to be split between them, The Daily Telegraph reported. But Justice Peter Rose, sitting in the court in Sydney, has said that the husband had met his obligations to his wife, looked after their three children and was free to spend his income on what he wanted. Justice Rose said the husband, 58, had begun seeing prostitutes after a payout of more than $1.4 million in 2007 from an horrific car crash several years earlier that left him with serious injuries. By then the couple had split.”

You’d better be nice to the new vending machine: “If you’re happy and you know it, smile for the vending machine camera. The world’s first vending machine that serves you if you smile has been unveiled. The interactive machines have a digital screen embedded with a “smile-o-meter” that uses facial recognition technology. It can even take photos and upload them to social networking site Facebook with the user’s permission. The touch-screen trial model rewards users with a free ice cream after checking the size of their smile”.

Sexual stamina is overrated – 10 minutes is enough, say experts: “Couples who think they’re not measuring up because so many celebrities boast about sex sessions that last all night can take some comfort. Contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of passionate activity, sex therapists say about 10 minutes is perfectly satisfactory. In fact, shows such as Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives have created unrealistic expectations of bedroom performance that can only lead to disappointment. Real couples are satisfied with making love for between three and 13 minutes – and can find anything over 10 minutes tiresome.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Two Irish jokes

June 25, 2010 at 3:55 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, Of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over. ” So,” says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?” “Why, I’ve been to the pub of course,” slurs the drunk.

“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few to drink this evening.” ” I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.

“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”

“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf.”

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Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. “Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya”.

“Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my husband?” ” That’s what I’m here to be telling ya, Brenda.” There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery…”

“Oh, God no!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me.”

“I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I’m sorry.”

Finally, she looked up at Tim. “How did it happen, Tim?” ” It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat Of Guinness Stout and drowned.”

“Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me the truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?” “Well, Brenda… No. In fact, he got out three times to pee.”

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

No charges for Canadian woman who flashed boy, 5: “A Canadian woman has sparked controversy after settling a neighbourhood noise dispute by flashing her breasts at a five-year-old boy. Marika De Florio, 56, said the boy was driving her mad by driving a loud all-terrain vehicle past her house, the Toronto Sun reported. She decided to go topless in the street so that the boy’s grandparents would be forced to call him inside. The raunchy tactic did the trick but horrified Mike and Nancy Berry, who called the police in Seeley’s Bay, Ontario, to report her. Ms De Florio said she resorted to bearing her breasts because police were ignoring her complaints about the “maddening” noise. She vowed to repeat the tactic every time the boy played with the noisy toy. “I can’t believe I did this, but they pulled the kid inside and then called police because of their small town mentality.” Police said that Ms De Florio was not doing anything illegal”

We have a winner (at last): “The longest tennis match in history finally finished on Thursday, with John Isner beating Nicolas Mahut 70-68 in the final set after 11 hours and five minutes at Wimbledon. Isner dropped his racquet and fell to the ground in delight before embracing his opponent at the net when the marathon match ended two days after it had begun. A host of tennis records were shattered in the extraordinary contest, which Isner won 6-4 3-6 6-7 (7-9) 7-6 (7-3) 70-68 – a record unlikely ever to be beaten.”

Battle of the cowpersons: “New York’s famous Naked Cowboy is threatening a bikini-clad competitor who bills herself as “The Naked Cowgirl” with a lawsuit unless she cuts him in on her profits. Time Square tourist attraction Robert Burck sent a cease-and-desist letter to Sandy Kane in a bid to stop her from performing. Ms Kane is a fixture of the city comedy scene and former stripper famous for closing her act by lighting her breasts on fire, reports the New York Post. Burck is demanding that Ms Kane – who began appearing in Times Square in a red, white and blue cowboy hat and matching bikini several years ago – either stop making money off of his trademark or sign a “Naked Cowboy Franchise Agreement.”

Italian scientists held responsible for earthquake damage: “Six of Italy’s top seismologists are being investigated for manslaughter for not warning the city of L’Aquila about an earthquake that struck on April 6, 2009. The magnitude-6.3 earthquake caused 308 deaths and 1600 injuries, and left more than 65,000 people homeless. The L’Aquila public prosecutor’s office issued the indictments on June 3, a step that usually precedes a request for a court trial. The investigation originated when about 30 L’Aquila citizens registered an official complaint that the scientists had failed to recognize the danger of the earthquake during the days and weeks in advance.”

British man dies after sadistic sex session with ‘Europe’s most perverted dominatrix’: “A British man has died following a sado-masochistic sex session with a woman who boasts she is ‘Europe’s most perverted dominatrix’. The 58-year-old client collapsed in a shower after an ‘intense session’ with prostitutes calling themselves Mistress Lucrezia and her assistant Mistress Juno at their villa near Brecht, Belgium. The two women, whose website says they specialise in administering ‘extreme pain’, called an ambulance after their unnamed customer died on Tuesday afternoon. Lucrezia, 46, whose real name was given only as Ira V.D., and Juno, 37, were both arrested and charged with assault and battery leading to death, without intent to kill.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Hello kid!

June 24, 2010 at 1:52 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Boy meets grouper. Groupers normally swallow their prey whole so the boy is in no danger. Too big

Update: A reader rightly notes that the scaly one is a Wrasse, not a Grouper. The big lips are the giveaway

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Man builds nuclear reactor in NYC warehouse: “A New York web designer for fashion house Gucci surprised his neighbors by revealing he built a nuclear reactor in a Brooklyn warehouse. Mark Suppes, a 32-year-old amateur physicist with a passion for sustainable energy, constructed the $40,000 homemade fusion reactor in his spare time, the BBC reported. He is the 38th independent physicist in the word to achieve nuclear fusion from a self-built reactor and forms part of a growing community of “fusioneers.” These brainiacs are trying to discover how to produce energy by fusion, a process that currently consumes more energy to run than it creates. While it may concern those close to his makeshift lab, fusion reactors are perfectly legal in the U.S. and pose no radioactive threat, as unlike nuclear fission reactions, they do not require uranium or plutonium fuel.”

Longest tennis game ever: “It took precisely ten hours… and even then they were not done. For, as the longest match ever staged at Wimbledon was finally adjourned by bad light last night at 59-59 in the fifth set, it sent two players into the history books – but neither of them into the next round. American John Isner and Frenchman Nicolas Mahut had begun playing at 6pm on Tuesday. But two hours and 52 minutes in, the light failed and played stopped. Yesterday, they returned to one of Wimbledon’s smallest courts yesterday to continue their stand-off. But although the crowds, cancelled restaurant bookings, missed their trains and rescheduled appointments to see this battle of wills reach a conclusion, it never came. The pair smashed the Wimbledon record with ease – then broke the world record for the longest match. But their duel had to be postponed for a second day running. Shortly after 9pm, a club referee called the match off, for the night at least.”

Legendary 1930s Alvis heads back into ‘production’: “The legendary Alvis 4.3 litre of the 1930s is to be reborn – complete with engine management, hydraulic brakes and fuel injection. Anyone lucky enough to find an original at auction would have to pay in the region of £400,000-£450,000 for the elegant, open-top pre-war car. But Red Triangle plans to produce new “continuation” models which will cost from around £170,000. Using original technical drawings and what they say will be the latest computer-aided design technology, engineers will faithfully recreate the model, 71 years after the last was produced. The 4.3 Litre Alvis was the fastest non-supercharged production car of its day, covering 0-60mph in around 11 seconds. Now, thanks to the use of original drawings, the 4.3 in-line six-cylinder engine will be faithful to the 1936 design, says Red Triangle. War stopped production of the car in 1940″

A pill that resets body clock could cure jet lag: “Jet lag could be a thing of the past for travellers after scientists moved closer to developing a pill that resets your body clock. Researchers have discovered a substance which is crucial to the natural rhythms of the body – and also a way of manipulating it. Jet lag is caused when the various natural timers in the body are “desynchronised” and knocked off balance by travelling long distances. Its failure to adjust to a new time zone leads to insomnia, loss of appetite, loss of alertness and even depression. Now a team at the Max Planck Institute in Germany has discovered that the hormone cortisol is key to keeping the circadian rhythms synchronised. They have found that levels of cortisol peak at 8am and then steadily drop to their lowest levels between 12am and 4am. By adjusting the peaks and troughs with a pill, they believe they can restore the natural balance of the body and mind.”

Arizona restaurant receives death threats over lion meat burgers: “A restaurant paying homage to the World Cup in South Africa has received death threats for its latest specialty – burgers made with lion meat, its owner says. This week the Il Vinaio restaurant in Mesa, located about 32km east of Phoenix, Arizona, plans to start selling the exotic meat burger. The big cat is not illegal to eat in the US, and the African lions used to make the burgers were actually raised on a free-range animal farm in the Midwest. “We have access to some really exotic meats that are USDA-approved. One of the ones that raised eyebrows was lion. And we’ve had quite a few customers asking us off the cuff, when are we going to serve some lion,” said restaurant owner Carmeron Selogie. The restaurant has also received a bomb threat and more than 150 emails from protesters”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Some incorrect British jokes

June 23, 2010 at 2:50 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Police stop a Pakistani in his transit on the motorway.
Policeman says “Do you know the limit is 70?”
The driver leans into the back and says:
“Hear that? 3 of you have got to get out!”

4 immigrants were suffocated in the back of
A Tesco truck last night. Every little helps.

Paddy and Mick stagger out of the zoo
With blood pouring from them.
“B:::::::: to that” said Paddy
“That’s the last time I go lion dancing”

63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.
It was not a terrorist attack: a bunk bed collapsed.
(The police are blaming AL-IKEA…)

Scientists have revealed today that they have found a new
Drug for depressed lesbians…. It’s called Trydixagain.

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

British man who had sex change wins right to receive social security payments five years early — at women’s retirement age: “A transsexual has won a legal fight to be officially treated as female despite still being married to a woman. The ruling means that the former Christopher Timbrell – now Christine – can claim a pension from the age of 60 like other women. The 68-year-old church-goer had been entitled to claim a pension only from 65 because the Government would not recognise that she was a woman while the couple continued to be married. But yesterday judges at the Civil Appeal Court ruled the decision not to pay out from 60 breached European laws on equality”

Pricey painting: “A rare self portrait by Edouard Manet’s has sold for more than £22 million at auction, in a record sale for the artist. The painting, “Self Portrait with a Palette”, was bought for a record price by New York dealer Franck Giraud, who was bidding at the Sothebys sale, in central London. The Manet was among 51 lots in Sotheby’s sale of Impressionist and modern works at the start of a series of auctions in London over the coming fortnight. Three lots sold for more than £10 million including the 1878 Manet, one of only two self-portraits he painted. It shows the artist dressed as a Parisian dandy, rather than as a working artist. It was created at a time when Manet was enjoying unprecedented critical acclaim… The work, part of a collection from Steven A Cohen, a high profile art collector and hedge fund manager, had been estimated to fetch between £20 million and £30 million.”

Goldilocks burglar discovered by New Zealand home-owner: “A Goldilocks-style burglar in New Zealand raided a fridge, drank alcohol, ate food, tried on clothes, and was found fast asleep in a bed when the home-owner returned. But the story did not have a happy ending for Vanessa Joy Long, 39, who has long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, when her victim exercised an option not available to the Three Bears and called police. Long pleaded guilty in Christchurch District Court on Monday, saying she had entered the house through an unlocked back door. She told the court that she had blacked out and had no idea what happened. Judge Stephen Erber remanded her on bail for sentencing until September 1. The home-owner is seeking £720 in damages for damage to the bedding and mattress, and the cost of food, drink.”

Rich Muslim rips off British welfare system: “An NHS management consultant who charges more than £300 per hour has been jailed for fraudulently claiming thousands of pounds in benefits. Zahid Ali claimed a total of about £15,000 in housing benefit, council tax benefit and Jobseeker’s Allowance – even though he owns properties in Dubai and lives in a £1milion Surrey mansion. The 47-year-old father-of-three failed to declare earnings of £212,000 between 2004 and 2008, which he made through his management consultancy company Coulsdon Limited. Meanwhile, he drew benefits from Sutton Council, Reigate & Banstead Borough Council and the Department for Work and Pensions. He was jailed for nine months after pleading guilty to seven counts of benefit fraud. Passing sentencey, Judge Heather Baucher branded Ali ‘greedy, manipulative and cunning’.”

Australian drinking buddies shoot one-another for fun “Two drinking mates are in trouble with the law after they decided to take turns shooting each other with an air rifle in Victoria’s west. The men, both aged 34 from near the Grampians, are set to undergo surgery to remove slug pellets from their buttocks and legs after the farmyard stunt turned awry. After a few beers on Sunday, at about 5.30pm they decided to shoot each other to see if the pellets would penetrate their skin or hurt. They initially thought they were fine until intense pain set in. One man took himself to hospital before police contacted his mate.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Good doggie!

June 22, 2010 at 12:53 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

He’s doing what doggies do

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Nun, 75, secures top banking job: “A 75-year-old Italian nun snared a key job in Italian finance today when she was named vice-president of a foundation that is the biggest shareholder in one of Italy’s largest banks. Sister Giuliana Galli was voted “by a large majority” into the position at Turin-based Compagnia di San Paolo, according to a statement from the foundation, which has a 10 per cent stake in banking group Intesa Sanpaolo. As vice-president, she will bear considerable influence along with other shareholder foundations on steering the bank’s strategy. Sister Galli, who has a degree in sociology and a Masters in behavioural sciences from the University of Miami, took her vows at the age of 23 and in 2001 set up a charity offering psychological assistance to migrants.”

Condom with ‘teeth’ to fight rape: “A doctor in South Africa has invented a female condom lined with teeth-like hooks and is handing them out at World Cup venues. The woman inserts the latex condom like a tampon and the jagged rows of hooks which line its inside attach on a man’s penis during penetration. Once attached, only a doctor can remove the Rape-aXe and Dr Ehlers hopes this will allow authorities to easily make arrests. “It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it’s on,” she said. “If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter… A report last year by the nation’s Medical Research Council found that 28 percent of men surveyed had raped a woman or girl, with one in 20 saying they had raped in the past year. In most African countries, rape convictions are not common as the DNA tests to provide evidence are unaffordable.”

Too fat to fly: “A 203kg [440lb] man who says he was thrown off a flight for being too fat has missed the chance to say goodbye to his dying aunt. Sandy Russell, from Wolverhampton in England, said a stewardess told him to leave the Air Transat plane from London Gatwick to Toronto because he could not fit in his seat. Air Transat said Mr Russell’s 52-inch girth meant that the armrest could not be lowered for take-off, as demanded by regulations. The passenger said he was angry he wasn’t made aware that his size was a problem before he boarded the plane. A spokesman for the airline said Air Transat was not allowed to ask passengers their measurements before they booked a flight as it was “a breach of their human rights”. The airline has offered to refund Mr Russell’s ticket price as a gesture of goodwill.”

Former cop arrests himself for drinking and driving: “The man, Loren Stead, 40, who told police he used to be an officer, was pulled over for speeding in the West Roxbury neighborhood. Officers noticed Stead was sweating profusely and breathing heavily. After they went back to the cruiser to check his license and registration, Stead left his vehicle and asked to be arrested. Further investigation suggested that Stead had been drinking. When asked what he thought he was going to be arrested for, Stead answered it was going to be for an OUI (operating under the influence). Stead failed sobriety tests and was charged exactly the way he predicted.”

US Army ditches velcro for buttons: “The US Army is ripping space-age Velcro from its uniforms and replacing it with the humble button, which turns out to be tailor-made for the rigours of Afghanistan. Hook-and-pile tape – the generic term for Velcro – strains to keep jam-packed cargo pants pockets closed. And when the Taliban attacks, the last thing soldiers need to worry about is spilling their gear. US soldiers told superiors that Velcro didn’t suit them and the Army began testing alternatives. Velcro has been part of the latest Army combat uniform since it was introduced in 2004. Sergeant Kenny Hatten cut to the heart of the matter in this posting on an Army website: “Get rid of the pocket flap Velcro and give us back our buttons,” Hatten wrote. “Buttons are silent, easy to replace in the field, work just fine in the mud, do not clog up with dirt and do not fray and disintegrate with repeated laundering.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Britain?

June 21, 2010 at 2:40 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Oil spill bad for strippers: “An unlikely company has filed a claim for compensation regarding the disaster – a New Orleans strip club. The owners of The Mimosa Dancing Girls, located on the edge of New Orleans, claimed that the spill was bad for business as the fishermen who usually frequented the club cannot afford to spend money there, British newspaper The Observer reported. Most of the 1500 claims the energy giant handles each day were said to be from those involved in the fishing industry, as a fishing ban prohibits them from working. But according to The Observer, officials at BP’s New Orleans claims centre said the bulk of claimants were no longer fishermen. As well as strip joint owners, restaurant waitresses, dock workers, plumbers and electricians also came to the centre, saying their livelihoods were severely hit, the newspaper reported.”

Fish found in Indian boy’s penis: “A 2cm long fish apparently found it’s way into the penis of a 14-year-old boy from India in a bizarre medical case. The patient was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period. According to the boy, the fish slipped into his penis while he was cleaning his aquarium at home. After detecting the fish in the boy’s bladder, Vezhaventhan and Jeyaraman used a technique known as cystourethroscopy to insert a special set of forceps down the patient’s penis. Unfortunately, the fish was just too slippery to grip, so they resorted to using a rigid ureteroscope with a tool attached that is normally used for removing bladder stones. The fish the urologists removed, which Practical Fishkeeping believes to be a small member of the Betta genus, measured 2cm long and 1.5cm wide.”

Indoor barbeque nearly kills family: “A Launceston family of eight suffered serious carbon monoxide poisoning on Wednesday night after firing up a barbecue inside their house. A 13-month-old baby became ill and the family called an ambulance, The Mercury said. All eight family members were taken by ambulance to the Launceston General Hospital”… Northern Ambulance Superintendent Wolfie Rechberger said the poisoning appeared to have been caused by the use of a wood-burning barbecue in a closed room. “A fireplace or wood heater vents the smoke and gases outside. This was a barbeque burning in a closed room,” he said. “It was extremely dangerous and serves as a reminder to the community that barbecues – particularly wood-burning barbecues – are designed for outside use and should never be brought inside.”

Yugoslav guy jailed for blowing bubble gum in Australian court: “A magistrate threw an apprentice painter behind bars for blowing a bubble in his court. Magistrate Rodney Crisp charged Mirza Zukanovic, 20, with contempt and jailed him for 30 days. The charge sheet shows that Zukanovic, who was appearing on an assault-related matter, earned Mr Crisp’s wrath after he deliberately blew and popped a bubble of gum while looking at the magistrate. However, Victoria’s Supreme Court granted him bail last night after an appeal by his lawyers. Zukanovic, from Melbourne, had “scandalised” the court and “challenged its authority” by looking in the magistrate’s direction and deliberately blowing and popping a bubble, the charge sheet said. The sentence won praise from police. “If there were more magistrates like this, the city would be a safer place,” said one officer.”

Kitten survives in BMW engine: “Paul Smith had been cruising to work at 70mph but when he pulled up at the dealership he heard a strange meowing sound coming from the front of his high-performance car. He lifted the bonnet of his five series BMW and could see nothing inside but when he restarted the engine the meows began again. Confused Mr Smith took the car to the workshop at Cooper BMW in Colchester, Essex, and a mechanic began taking the front apart in a bid to find the source of the noise. But they were stunned when they spotted the female kitty cowering behind the strengthening support bar, deep inside the car. Staff at the workshop scooped the kitten out and fed her milk from the tiny sachets in their coffee machine. Mr Smith, from Layer-de-la-Haye, Essex, said: “We are hoping to trace the owner, but the girls here are pretty attached to it. “If no-one comes forward, we will have plenty of takers.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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