Amusing web addresses

May 31, 2010 at 3:50 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A list of the internet’s most inadvertently amusing web addresses – such as the home page for celebrity agent database Who Represents, or http://www.whorepresents.com – have been compiled in a new book.

The compendium of ill thought out web addresses, largely from companies who naively slurred their innocent-sounding names into a single word without noticing the resulting double entendres, lists more than 150 “slurls”, or slur URLs.

One example of what can go wrong when choosing web addresses is Big Al’s bowling alley in Vancouver, which presumably did not notice when naming its site that “I love Big Al’s” with spaces removed could equally be read as “I love bi gals”.

Also included in the list is the Mole Station Nursery, a business in Australia selling gardening goods which adopted the web name “molestationnursery” before changing it to “molerivernursery”.

Andy Geldman, author of Slurls: They Called Their Website What? said: “In a world without spaces we mentally insert out own. And you might not stick yours where I stick mine.”

Among the 150 web pages featuring in the book are Pen Island’s home page, http://www.penisland.net, and Les Bocages, a British firm of tree surgeons working in France who are named after the French word for “groves” but also have the unfortunate web moniker “lesbocages”.

The potential for amusement has also led to a number of spoofs, notably the website purporting to be the Italian home page for energy company Powergen – powergenitalia – which is really unaffiliated with the company.

For the firms affected, however, the errors are not always taken lightly. A spokesman for Choose Spain, a holiday company found at choosespain.com, told the Sunday Times: “It was too late to change it once we realised”.

Five of the funniest web URLs

Experts Exchange – a site where programmers can trade advice – is found at http://www.expertsexchange.com

La Drape – a British company selling high-end quilted bedspreads – is listed at http://www.ladrape.co.uk

American Scrap Metal – a scrap metal recycling firm – has its website at http://www.angelfire.com/alt/americanscrapmetal

Speed of Art – a collective or art designers – are online at http://www.speedofart.com

Therapist Finder – a directory for therapy services – can be located at http://www.therapistfinder.com

Original story here

THE NEWS

Couple discover they are half-brother and sister: “A young couple have revealed how they fell in love after meeting at a nightclub, moved in together, had a child – and then discovered they were, in fact, half-brother and sister. The extraordinary discovery was confirmed by DNA testing just last month. It has left the couple stunned and shaken – but they are nonetheless vowing to stay together and have more children. They both blame the legal system which prevented the young man from being told his true identity. He only discovered who he really was long after he and his half-sister had got together and had the child. Some who know them fear there could be legal repercussions over their relationship, which is illegal in the eyes of the law. Now they are considering taking a landmark civil case against the judge and a child psychologist involved in the family law case that ultimately sealed their fate by refusing let a child be told the truth about his parentage because of the secrecy that shrouds Irish family law.”

Forget the weather forecast – it’s women’s hemlines that determine a heatwave: “If you want to know what the weather is up to, it might be best to start looking down. For apparently the length of a woman’s skirt is a good way of forecasting whether to expect rain or shine. The bizarre claim is the result of sales analysis by experts at the online marketplace eBay. They insist that the length of skirts sold rises several days before the arrival of sunny skies. And when the air is about to cool, they drop. This happens, they say, at least three days before the weather changes, and sometimes even before the forecasters at the Met Office have issued their most traditional predictions. The trend, they claim, correctly predicted Britain’s temperamental weather last year, as well as the recent short-lived heat wave.”

Near-death experiences ‘explained': Scientists believe it’s the last gasp of a dying brain: “Some say they floated above their own body, others claim to have walked along a light-filled tunnel or to have been suffused with a sense of peace. But rather than being a brush with the afterlife, near-death experiences may simply be caused by an electrical storm in the dying brain. A study of the brains of critically ill men and women revealed a brief burst of activity moments before death. Researcher Lakhmir Chawla, an intensive care doctor, said: ‘We think that near-death experiences could be caused by a surge of electrical energy as the brain runs out of oxygen. As blood flow slows down and oxygen levels fall, the brain cells fire one last electrical impulse. ‘It starts in one part of the brain and spreads in a cascade and this may give people vivid mental sensations.'”

Space junk threatens ‘chain reaction’ that could destroy communications on Earth: “There is so much junk whizzing around Earth that any collision in space could now cause a knock-on effect that would destroy vital satellites, according to a Pentagon report. A crash between a satellite and a hunk of space junk could send thousands of pieces of debris spinning out, which could destroy other satellites. Television signals, weather forecasts, global-positioning navigation and international phone connections are just some of the services at risk. The uncontrolled chain reaction could make some orbits unusable for both commercial or military satellites, according to the U.S Space Posture Review sent to Congress in March. The report, which has not been publicly released, said space is ‘increasingly congested and contested.’

Taxi thief asks cops for a ride home from crime scene: “An accused taxi thief was arrested after he requested a lift home from police – who were investigating the crime scene. The 26-year-old man had allegedly stolen a taxi and taken it for a joyride in Alice Springs after punching the driver in the face. While the driver ran off and hid in the bushes, the thief drove off in the taxi. But he abandoned it around the block, running off with the keys. After the taxi driver called police, officers arrived and set up a crime scene around the stolen car. But some time later, as the crime scene guard was packing up, the offender reappeared and asked for a lift home. He was recognised and arrested.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Chinese ingenuity

May 30, 2010 at 3:09 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

THE NEWS

Pigeon held on suspicion of spying: “INDIAN police are holding a pigeon under armed guard after it was caught on an alleged spying mission for arch rival and neighbour Pakistan. The white-coloured bird was found by a local resident in India’s Punjab state, which borders Pakistan, and taken to a police station 40km from the capital Amritsar. The pigeon had a ring around its foot and a Pakistani phone number and address stamped on its body in red ink. Police officer Ramdas Jagjit Singh Chahal told the Press Trust of India (PTI) news agency that they suspected the pigeon may have landed on Indian soil from Pakistan with a message, although no trace of a note has been found. Officials have directed that no one should be allowed to visit the pigeon, which police say may have been on a “special mission of spying”.

How tiny enamel snuff bottle sold for nearly £1m: “A tiny snuff bottle measuring just 1.6 inches high has sold today for nearly a million pounds – smashing all previous records. The beautiful enamel bottle made for China’s Emperor Qianlong in the 18th century was part of a collection put together by George and Mary Bloch. It was hoped it might sell for £250,000 but furious bidding saw the price rise beyond anyone’s expectations. The sale proves the strength of the Chinese market. The small enamel bottle shows on one side a woman and a young boy with an elaborate building and trees in the background. One the other side is a woman with a basket of flowers and fruit and another young boy, with buildings and the tree-clad banks of a stream behind her. All the figures look European and the condition of the piece was described as ‘perfect’.”

Feisty woman detains armed robber: “A 40-year-old woman helped thwart an armed robbery by fighting off and detaining a man who held a knife to her throat at a Ravenswood bottle shop on Friday. Police said the offender was wearing a hat, sunglasses and a bandanna when he entered the Ravenswood Hotel bottle shop at about 4.20pm armed with a kitchen knife. He made his way behind the counter and grabbed the female staff member, holding the weapon to her throat and demanding cash. But the woman fought back, kneeing the man twice before seeking the help of two customers to wrestle the attacker to the ground and restrain him until police arrived.”

Newly uncovered dinosaur had ‘longest horns of all’: “US palaeontologists say they have unearthed a new species of dinosaurs standing some 1.8 metres tall and weighing up to 4.5 tonnes, with the longest horns of all. The 72-million-year-old herbivore, now named coahuilaceratops magnacuerna, has two large horns above its eyes measuring up to 1.22 metres long – the largest of any other species, providing fresh insight into the history of western North America. Scientists uncovered fossils belonging to both an adult and a juvenile of the rhino-sized tubby creature at the Cerro del Pueblo Formation in Coahuila, Mexico. It measured about 6.7 metres long as an adult.”

Baby cuddled by snake: “Businessman John Baran got more than he bargained for when he asked for a photograph of his precious granddaughter, Lily. His daughter, Jenny, who works at Steve Irwin’s Australia Zoo sanctuary on the Sunshine Coast, duly sent a baby snap that sent shivers down Mr Baran’s spine, The Townsville Bulletin reports. ”I could see this cute little baby. Then someone said, that’s a bloody snake, is this for real?” The pic shows four-month-old Lily cradled by one of the zoo’s 4m-long Burmese pythons. Now the shock has worn off, Mr Baran has decided the photograph is fantastic.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Some corporate communications that would make Dilbert proud

May 29, 2010 at 4:39 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.’ (Microsoft Corp in Redmond WA)

‘What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.’ (Lykes Lines Shipping)

E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.’ (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

‘This project is so important we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.’ (Advertising/ Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

‘Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.’ (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

‘No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.’ (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/ 3M Corp)

Quote from the Boss: ‘Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.’ (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said,’That would be better for me.’ (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

‘We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.’ (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

THE NEWS

There’s one born every minute: “The US Department of Justice has charged a man living in the Philippines with fraud, saying he engaged in a “massive, international Ponzi scheme” that bilked more than 40,000 people out of about $70 million. According to the complaint, Nicholas A. Smirnow used a website called Pathway to Prosperity to offer investment plans claiming huge rates of return. A seven-day plan would produce an annual return of 546 per cent, and a 60-day plan would yield a 720 per cent annual return, the website claimed. While some earlier investors received a substantial return on their investment, most investors lost everything; Pathway to Prosperity made few, if any, legitimate investments, according to the complaint. People in more than 120 countries and every US state except Maine and Vermont lost money in the scam.”

Celebrities not too bright either: “US prosecutors have charged a New York financial adviser with perpetrating a multimillion-dollar pyramid scheme involving prominent figures from the legal, political and entertainment worlds. Victims included a “former hedge-fund manager and well-known philanthropist” and an actress, the 37-page criminal complaint said. When Mr Starr’s clients asked for payments on their supposed investments, “he transferred funds from one client to another client”, the complaint says, creating a pyramid or Ponzi scheme. US media reported Mr Starr’s client list included photographer-to-the-stars Annie Leibovitz, actor Uma Thurman, and director Martin Scorsese. The complaint also refers to victims as varied as an elderly heiress and a Manhattan jeweller who was jailed in a narcotics conspiracy and whom Mr Starr befriended as a “brother”.”

Bird too fat to fly: “Too many tasty sausages almost killed this kookaburra. But health worries weren’t the threat. She became so obese from barbecue handouts she could not fly when attacked by dogs in a Mosman park. After weighing in at 540g, 40 per cent heavier than a typical adult bird, the kookaburra has been sent to bird boot camp to shed weight. When she was rescued in Rawson Park and taken to Taronga a broken wing was thought to be why she couldn’t fly. But when no fracture was found, the real reason emerged. “I’ve seen many kookaburras, but never before have I seen one so fat,” wildlife hospital nurse Gemma Watkinson said. “It turned out that it was simply too obese to fly.” “I’m almost certain this porky kookaburra found a resident or two who’ve been treating her with sausages.”

Man dies from cancer of the womb: “Vincent Liew waited five years for the kidney that was supposed to change his life. Instead, the organ ended it. The kidney came from a woman who had uterine cancer, but she and doctors didn’t know it. Once her disease was discovered after the transplant, Mr Liew’s doctors highly doubted it could spread to him. But in seven months, Mr Liew was killed by cancer that his autopsy linked to the transplant. His death, the subject of a medical malpractice trial in which closing arguments were scheduled for today, is believed to be the only reported instance of uterine cancer apparently being transmitted by transplant, medical experts say.”

Man infects himself with (computer) virus: “We are one step closer to the future: a British scientist has become the first human being to contract a computer virus. Yep, you heard that right. Dr. Mark Gasson, a cybernetics expert at the University of Reading, deliberately infected himself (by way of an RFID chip implanted in his wrist) with a benign computer virus. This was part of an experiment designed to show how implantable bionic devices are susceptible to computer viruses. … This experiment shows that viruses can be transferred wirelessly from implant devices to the computers they communicate with. Someone could thus potentially create a virus that would allow them to access secure areas (such as the University of Reading laboratory). This is not the first instance of an RFID system being hacked–but it is the first time that the hacked RFID chip was inside a human being.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Some more dubious history

May 28, 2010 at 5:17 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.

Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.

This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as ‘plucking the yew’ (or ‘pluck yew’).

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!

Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F’, and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as ‘giving the bird.’

THE NEWS

Lethal lipstick?: “Tests conducted by the US Food and Drug Administration last year on 22 red lipsticks found lead, a neurotoxin, in every single lipstick sample studied. The highest levels were in three well-known and common brands: Cover Girl, Revlon, L’Oreal. While the FDA is continuing lead research on additional cosmetic brands and colours, it is reassuring consumers that the lead levels it found in the red lipsticks are very small and not a health threat. Studies suggest the average woman inadvertently consumes about 1.8 kilograms of lipstick in the course of her life, licking her lips, eating fruit, sipping tea. The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics is calling on the FDA to require cosmetics manufacturers to reduce lead to the lowest achievable levels. “The reason we’re worried is that lead builds up in the body over time,” Ms Malkan said.”

Sea of Galilee is out of fish, and miracles: “Were Jesus to return and fish the Sea of Galilee today he might tell a parable, not of prolific catches and the sated crowds of biblical times but of empty nets and a hefty fine. Israel’s parliament is poised to impose a two-year ban on fishing for the famed St Peter’s fish — a type of tilapia indigenous to the Sea of Galilee in the north of the country. Stocks have dropped drastically in the past decade because of environmental and human factors. Annual catches of the St Peter’s fish, which takes its name from the New Testament story in which Jesus’s disciple, Peter, netted a fish with a gold coin in its mouth — and paid his taxes with it — have dropped from 300 tonnes to only 8.”

Shark attacks spike on new moons: “Sharks are most likely to attack surfers and other unsuspecting swimmers in shallow water, on Sundays, during new moons and hot weather, a study reveals. The University of Florida study released today found young surfers in black and white bathing suits were most vulnerable to shark attacks or bites. It based its conclusions on observations and statistics gathered over a 50-year period in Florida’s Volusia County, known as the “shark attack capital of the world”. Mr Burgess noted that the greatest number of attacks took place during new moons, followed by full moons. During both periods, the moon has its biggest pull on tides. August is the peak month for shark attacks (in the US) because of the large number of people in the water in the northern hemisphere, particularly on Sundays. Movements like splashing hands and kicking feet attract sharks, which lunge at the moving body parts through surf thinking they are prey, the experts said.”

Man “too good looking” in Australia’s wild North: “A man who claimed he was kicked out of a pub for being too good-looking has had his complaint upheld. Casanova Colin Belle [above] claimed that door staff at the Shenannigans Irish Bar in Darwin resented his success with the venue’s female clientele, The Northern Territory News reported. He also accused them of targeting him because he was black. Bouncer Gene Hocking was given a formal warning by the NI Licensing Commission for using undue force on Mr Belle when refusing him entry. The commission watched surveillance footage of the incident, and said the force used by Mr Hocking was inappropriate. Mr O’Sullivan said the commission took into consideration Mr Hocking’s good record and reputation into account, as well as Mr Belle’s “argumentative and at times somewhat annoying nature”. The commission declined to suspend Mr Hocking’s license, and instead issued a formal warning for breaching the code of practice for crowd controllers.”

Kitten survives 30 minutes in a washing machine on spin cycle: “A FOUR-month-old female kitten survived 30 minutes in a spinning washing machine in Sydney after she crawled inside a load of dirty laundry while her owner’s back was turned. The Manly Daily said Lindsay Rogers was loading the washing machine at the laundromat in the northern Sydney suburb of Manly when the Persian kitten, named Kimba, sneaked into the open door of a machine filled with dirty clothes. Mr Rogers turned around, closed the door and switched on the machine without realising Kimba was inside. “I put the clothes in, put the powder and the fabric softener in, put it on a cold wash – which was very lucky – and put it on for a 30-minute cycle,” he said. “When I opened the door, it just went ‘meow’ and stuck its head out. He rushed Kimba to the local vet and she was put on an intravenous drip. After a couple of hours Kimba was stable and “purring like a little motor”, Rogers said.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

A Redneck Thanksgiving

May 27, 2010 at 1:28 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

With apologies to Norman Rockwell

THE NEWS

Dangerous apple sauce: “A CALIFORNIAN woman who was accused of attacking an airport security guard for trying to seize her apple sauce as she boarded a plane was fined $US2500 over the incident – and is refusing to pay. The Glendale News Press said Nadine Kay Hays’ legal troubles appeared over last month when Glendale Superior Court Judge Frederick R Rotenberg told Ms Hays that he would dismiss a criminal case against her in six months if she stayed out of trouble. But last week she received a letter from the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) telling her she had to pay a $US2500 fine. A TSA spokeswoman told the News Press she could not comment on individual cases due to privacy restrictions, but said the dismissal of a criminal case did not mean the case could not be pursued civilly.”

Son sues mother for ‘failing to protect him from childhood abuse’: “A son sued his mother at the High Court yesterday over her alleged failure to protect him from his father’s beatings. The 32-year-old man from Co Durham, who cannot be identified, said that his mother, now in her late 60s, assaulted him herself and aided and abetted the daily punishment meted out by her husband by reporting his failings. The man, who was brought up in West London, claims that he was assaulted up to four times a day between the ages of 5 and 19 by the father he called a “tormentor”. He said that he had been hit with a stick, belt, electrical lead or wooden brush until he was 16 and struck with an open hand and throttled or choked as he got older.”

Flood of frogs shuts down highway: “Greek officials say a horde of frogs has forced the closure of a key northern highway for two hours. Thessaloniki traffic police chief Giorgos Thanoglou said “millions” of the amphibians covered the tarmac today near the town of Langadas, some 19km east of Thessaloniki. “There was a carpet of frogs,” he said. Authorities closed the highway after three car drivers skidded off the road trying to dodge the frogs. No human injuries were reported. Chief Thanoglou said the amphibians probably left a nearby lake to look for food.”

Armed robbery fail: Armed crook runs into glass doors at bank: “AN ARMED robber is probably glad he was wearing a mask when his attempt at a hold-up at a Brisbane bank went horribly wrong. The crook – carrying a gun and wearing a skull mask – entered the bank in the Grand Plaza Shopping Centre at Browns Plains but was held up himself when he ran smack bang into a set of glass doors. The sound alerted bank staff who hit the alarms. CCTV footage shows the robber beating a hasty retreat empty-handed.” [Video at link]

Woman left asleep on plane for hours: “Airline staff amazingly failed to spot a snoozing passenger for more than three hours after a flight touched down at Philadelphia International Airport. Ginger McGuire was fast asleep as her red-eye United Airways Express flight from Washington DC came in to land in yesterday, KYW reported. But while her fellow passengers left the plane, staff reportedly failed to notice Ms McGuire still sleeping in her seat after it landed at 12.27am local time. She was finally roused by a cleaner at 3.50am as the aircraft sat on the tarmac. “I can’t believe on a 50-passenger plane that nobody would wake someone up like that,” Trevor Hirz, a fellow traveller, said. “We are working closely with our partner Trans States to investigate the cause and remedy the situation with the customer,” a spokesperson for United Airlines said.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Defaming rednecks

May 26, 2010 at 4:22 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A Redneck passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow . . . but she can’t touch it ’till she’s 14.

How do you know when you’re staying in a Redneck motel? When you call the front desk and say, “I gotta leak in my sink and the clerk replies …..”Go ahead.”

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age for Rednecks to 32 ??? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

Two reasons why it’s so hard to solve a Redneck murder: 1) The DNA is all the same; 2) There are no dental records

Who invented the toothbrush? A Redneck!! (If it had been invented by anyone else, it would have been a teeth brush)

Did you hear about the $3 million Redneck Lottery? The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.

A new Redneck law was just recently passed: When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.

Did you hear that the Redneck Governor’s Mansion burned down? ‘Yep.. Prit’near took out the whole trailer park.. The library was a total loss too. Both books went poof . . . up in flames and the Governor hadn’t even finished coloring one of them.’

A State Trooper pulls over a pickup on Highway 16 and says to the driver, ‘Got any I.D. ? ‘ . . And the driver replies ‘Bout wut?’

THE NEWS

$200 million “behaviour detection” officers fail to spot a single terrorist at airports: “A team of more than 3,000 ‘behaviour detection’ officers hired to spot terrorists at US airports have failed to catch a single person despite costing the taxpayer $200 million last year.”

Stupid British mother burns her baby: “A FIVE-MONTH-OLD baby suffered horrific burns while his mother relaxed on a beach in temperatures of 25C. The baby was taken to hospital with 20 per cent burns. He was spotted by a police officer who was patrolling the packed seafront in Brighton, southern England, on Sunday, Britain’s hottest day so far this year. The baby’s 29-year-old mother, from East London, is being investigated by police. “An ambulance was called for the five-month-old baby who was visiting Brighton from London,” a police spokeswoman said. NHS Brighton and Hove health promotion specialist Carolyn Syverson said: “Babies and young children are particularly at risk of sunburn and heatstroke.” [Brits are not used to sun]

Fatal cellphone number: “A mobile phone company was forced to suspend one of its numbers – after everyone assigned it dies. The first person to own the number 0888 888 888 was Bulgarian Mobitel CEO Vladimir Grashnov, who died of cancer in 2001 aged 48, The Daily Mail reported. The number was then given to underworld figure Konstantin Dimitrov who was gunned down in the Netherlands in 2003. Crooked businessman Konstantin Dishliev was then given the number before he was also gunned down outside an Indian restaurant in the capital Sofia in 2005. The number had remained dormant while police investigated the latest murder and drug smuggling ring, but bosses have now suspended the jinxed line indefinitely. When the number is dialled, callers receive a recorded message saying the phone is ‘outside network coverage’.”

Senior citizen accused of beating love rival to death with pole: “A BRITISH senior citizen beat a bar singer to death after finding out he was having an affair with his elderly girlfriend, a court has been told. William Heywood, 69, lay in wait with a scaffold pole outside a bar where he knew country and western performer Richie Ball, 57, was playing – and struck as he left, it was claimed. Winchester Crown Court in southern England was told how the singer was brutally battered over the head, suffering a fractured skull. He was in a coma in the hospital for three weeks before dying. The jury was told Mr Heywood’s 60-year-old partner Ann Allen fell in love with Mr Ball after watching him play at a seaside hotel. She started seeing him behind Mr Heywood’s back – but would still take him to watch Mr Ball’s gigs as a couple.”

Holy tap ‘heals’ woman in Australia’s wild North: “A WOMAN claims she was cured of her illness after she drank from a “holy tap” in a remote NT community. The woman claims water from the tap, located next to the site of the old Lutheran church in Hermannsburg, was responsible for curing her illness. Aborigines believe the site of the tap is holy ground because the missionaries built it on a spot God had personally chosen. Word is now spreading about the holy tap. Elderly or ill Aborigines in Alice Springs ask relatives to bring them the holy water, which they drink straight from the bottle. This issue requires gentle management by the Lutheran Church or, to put it another, more accurate way, non-management. They quietly hope the tap will go away.”

Couple found alive under mounds of rubbish in their home: “Authorities say two people in their 70s were found buried under mounds of garbage in their home on Chicago’s South Side. Police Lieutenant Dale Kingsley says their home was “packed from floor to ceiling” with garbage and may have to be condemned. Chicago Fire Department paramedics conducting a well-being check on Monday evening found the stench so overpowering they had to don hazardous materials suits before going inside the home. Fire Department spokesman Kevin MacGregor says the man and woman were taken to Jackson Park Hospital in critical condition. A hospital nurse says their condition had improved by Tuesday morning. MacGregor says the couple hadn’t been heard from in three weeks.

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Redneck chandelier

May 25, 2010 at 3:12 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

THE NEWS

Drivers ‘seasick’ as brand new Russian bridge bounces up to three feet in stormy weather: “Russian drivers are being left feeling more than a little wobbly after crossing a brand new bridge in Volgograd. Alarming footage of the quivering 4.5 mile bridge has spread like wildfire on the internet, prompting President Dmitry Medvedev to demand a probe into what went wrong with the design of the project. Reports say it bounces by more than three feet during strong winds, with a deafening screech accompanying the movement. One driver, who drove over the new bridge last week, said: ‘I was driving to my country house when my car started bouncing like a ball. The bridge, spanning the giant Volga River, cost £275million and was opened by deputy prime minister Sergei Ivanov – a close aide to premier Vladimir Putin – eight months ago. It has been closed since last week for safety reasons” [Pix and video at link]

Topless dancer at High Society British flower show: “The gardens of Chelsea Flower Show are in full bloom. And it’s not just the flora that’s blossoming. Down amid the Salvias and the Agapanthus today there was an attraction not normally associated with the traditional world of horticultural competition – a naked woman, or more to the point a dancing, naked woman. The woman was, in fact, a ‘performance artist’ named Paisley. Dancing in the sunshine as classical music played, the model did spare the blushes of the faint-hearted by wearing one singularly small item of flesh coloured lingerie and some bronze body paint…. The Queen didn’t appear to be too shocked by the display, smiling while talking to an exhibitor at the show”

Cambridge University not so hot on Greek these days: “Cambridge University was sheepish yesterday as it admitted that there was a spelling mistake in the inscription on the entrance to its new Classics department building. A set of glass doors at the entrance to the £1.3 million extension is inscribed with Aristotle’s quotation: “All men by nature desiring to know.” The typesetter made a small slip-up by entering the Roman letter “s” instead of the Ancient Greek letter sigma in the word “phusei” — meaning “by nature”. The university dispatched a sign-maker to scratch off the offending quotation yesterday as scholars highlighted the mistake.”

Mummies galore: 57 ancient Egyptian tombs discovered in secret underground network: “Archaeologists have unearthed a labyrinth of rich Egyptian tombs that had been hidden under the ground for thousands of years. Most of the 57 ancient tombs contained an ornately painted wooden sarcophagus with a mummy inside, Egypt’s Supreme Council of Antiquities said. The oldest tombs date back to around 2750 BC during the period of Egypt’s first and second dynasties. Twelve of the tombs belong to the 18th dynasty which ruled Egypt from 1550 to 1292 BC. Egypt’s archaeology chief, Zahi Hawass, said the 18th dynasty mummies are covered in linen decorated with religious texts from the Book of the Dead and scenes featuring ancient Egyptian deities. Mr El-Aydi said one of the oldest tombs is almost completely intact, with all of its funerary equipment and a wooden sarcophagus containing a mummy wrapped in linen.”

Wedding dress revenge: “A jilted husband has exacted hilarious revenge on the wife who dumped him by becoming an internet sensation with ingenious ways of using her wedding dress. Kevin Cotter was devastated when his wife walked out after 12 years of marriage taking all her possessions. The only thing she left behind was her wedding dress. When Mr Cotter tried to get her to take that also, she told him he could do what he liked with it. And, after leaving the silk dress on a top shelf of their home in Tucson, Arizona, for months, that is exactly what he did. He started a webpage called ‘My Ex-Wife’s Wedding Dress’ on which he charts his attempts to come up with 101 uses for the garment. So far he has listed 23 uses, from a yoga mat to a pasta strainer. He has used the white silk dress as an ice pack, skipping rope and even a sports banner. With a Darth Vader mask he made an effective scarecrow. Mr Cotter’s goal is to reach 101 uses before the dress is completely ruined.” [Pix at link]

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Irish College Exam

May 24, 2010 at 3:42 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

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Now, scroll down for the answers

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There’s no flies on the Irish!

THE NEWS

Lip tattoo leads to burglary arrest: “Police say a suspect in a Colorado home invasion had the evidence written all over his face. A tattoo on the upper lip of 20-year-old Anthony Brandon Gonzales led to his arrest last week in the home invasion of an Elvis impersonator in Pueblo County. A witness told police that one of the invaders had “East Side” tattooed on his upper lip. Gonzales also has a “13” tattooed on his chin in the shape of a goatee. According to an affidavit, the tattoos were visible even though Gonzales was wearing a mask. Gonzales was already in jail on a separate drug charge. Police have now charged him with the April burglary, too. Sergeant Eric Bravo said his distinctive tattoo led to the charge, saying, “it’s hard to miss him.”

Barcelona bans bikinis from streets: “Barcelona is fed up with tourists wandering the streets in their bikinis and is preparing a campaign to convince them to put on clothes when they leave the beach. Municipal authorities in the seaside Spanish city have already printed posters showing a couple in swimming costumes with a red line across it, along with another couple dressed normally but without the red line. “We want to make people understand that it’s an attitude that we don’t like, that it’s not banned or punishable but that it’s something we don’t think is civil,” a spokeswoman for the city hall said. The beaches and cultural attractions of the capital of Spain’s northeastern Catalonia region draw millions of foreign visitors each year.”

Woman falls off cliff while mowing lawn: “A 66-year-old woman was in a stable condition after falling 25m from her cliff-top garden while trying to mow the lawn. British pensioner Kate Nicholl was rescued after two teenagers discovered her lying on rocks on the shore of the River Tay in Fife, eastern Scotland. “We were just walking on the beach to pass the time on a hot summer’s evening, when we just came across her,” one of the teens, Ian Anderson, said. MSN NZ reported the 17-year-old as saying: “She was waving her arms and shouting for help. We went over to where she was, and it was obvious she was badly injured. There was blood all over her head and down her shirt.” Mrs Nicholl was airlifted to hospital.”

Cleaner gets sucked into sausage machine: “A cleaner had a miraculous escape after he was sucked head-first into a sausage-making machine. The man’s head and shoulders became trapped when the vacuum device, which was used to season the meat, somehow activated while he was cleaning it. He was rushed to hospital after being pulled from the machine at DiLuigu’s Inc sausage company in Danvers, Massachusetts, on Thursday night. Police said the man, whose name has not been released, showed no obvious signs of trauma but was given the once-over by doctors as a precaution.”

World’s rarest stamp sells for record £1.6million: “The world’s most expensive stamp has been sold for what is believed to be a record sum at an auction shrouded in secrecy. The Treskilling Yellow had been expected to fetch up to £1.7million. But the exact price paid was not disclosed when the little Swedish rectangular treasure, the world’s most valuable object by weight, was sold to a group of mystery buyers in a telephone auction in Geneva on Saturday. The Swedish Treskilling Yellow is believed to be the only surviving misprint of an 1855 three shilling stamp that was supposed to be green…. The Treskilling Yellow has changed hands at least once since 1996, but little is known about the last owner except that he or she had to sell the stamp because it had been put up as financial collateral. The first collector to own the stamp is said to have been a Swedish schoolboy, who found it in 1885 among a pile of letters left by his grandparents.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

Natural born citizens

May 23, 2010 at 4:04 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating “What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”

THE NEWS

Lawnmower speed record: “A British lawnmower cut the world land speed record to ribbons with a trail blazing new top speed of more than 86mph. The unique petrol driven mower raced into the record books in front of an ecstatic crowd at Pendine Sands, in west Wales. Rider Don Wales smashed the previous 80.792mph lawnmower land speed record with an impressive 86.069mph on Saturday evening. The jet-red sit-on machine began by giving a demonstration of its grass cutting ability to prove it qualified as a lawnmower. Challengers for the record must drive over a measured mile in one direction and return within an hour. The record attempt using the motorised grass cutter also has to ensure it is built primarily from lawnmower parts.”

Polish priest and Brazil not a good combination: “A Polish priest living in Brazil has been arrested on charges of pedophilia and of turning his home into an “erotic dungeon” where he organised orgies with teenagers, Brazilian media reported. The cleric, identified only by his initials MMS, is “a person compulsively attached to sex with adolescents”, the judge overseeing the case, Alexandre Abrahao Teixeira, said in his decision to issue a preventive detention order on Friday. The priest’s house was transformed into “a sort of erotic dungeon where these youths were thrown into orgies”, he said. The investigation was opened in 2007 when one teenager told police the priest persuaded him to engage in kissing, then to be handcuffed to a bed and engage in oral sex and attempted anal sex.”

British High School exam asks: who are those two by the crib?: “Sixteen-year-olds taking a religious studies exam last week were confronted with a question entitled “Christmas”. There was a picture of a man and a woman standing by a crib with farm animals standing around. Candidates were instructed: “Name the two people in the crib scene.” Critics said the question was “pathetic” and more appropriate to six-year-olds than GCSE candidates and that it was alarming evidence of how even the basics of Christianity were no longer assumed to be general knowledge.”

Chess chief ‘visited by aliens’: “Nobody could doubt Kirsan Ilyumzhinov’s devotion to chess. As president of the impoverished Russian republic of Kalmykia, he spent £60m building a Chess City where visitors could play in comfort. He made the game compulsory in schools and had a giant chess board with outsized pieces placed in the main square of his capital. His flamboyant style as head of the world chess federation since 1995 has attracted frequent criticism, however; and the impression of eccentricity was compounded recently when he told Russian state television that aliens in yellow spacesuits had given him a tour of their craft. Now two of the world’s greatest chess champions, Anatoly Karpov and Garry Kasparov, once rivals across the board, are making common cause in an effort to get rid of Ilyumzhinov.”

Paris steadies itself for giant cocktail binge: “Thousands of young Parisians are expected to defy a police attempt to bar them from holding a record-breaking open-air drinks party in the park by the Eiffel Tower today. With fine warm weather forecast for this evening, the revellers on the Champ de Mars intend to hold the 58th in an ever more popular series of apéros géants — giant cocktail parties — which have been taking place across the country. The organisers aim to attract more than the 12,000 participants who gathered in Grenoble earlier this month, compounding fears that young French people are copying the British practice of binge-drinking.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

An advertisement for men only

May 22, 2010 at 5:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A Danish version of Costo is called Fleggaard. They have a store very close to the German border and want to encourage German shoppers. The advertisement below however seems to be aimed solely at males, whether Danish or German.

The women in the air eventually spell out “Half-price Dishwashers at Fleggaard.”

Fleggaard focus particularly on electrical goods so perhaps they figure that men make decisions about such things.

You would never see an ad like this in America but standards are different in Europe.

The link is here: http://www.m2film.dk/fleggaard/trailer2.swf

Copy and paste it to the address bar of your browser at your own discretion. It’s not pornographic, just a salacious fantasy.

THE NEWS

Sex-mad grandfather under ‘house arrest’: “An 81-year-old man was put under house arrest by his family after a bizarre accident turned him into a sex addict. Angelo De Luca was in a coma for four days after he fell out of a plum tree at the family home in Biasca, Switzerland. But after he came round from an operation his family was horrified to watch their devoted dad turn into a lustful teenager again. Mr De Luca blew 4948 swiss francs ($5000) of his savings in one session at a brothel after he fell for a prostitute young enough to be his granddaughter. “Since my wife died a year ago, Leona has been there for me. It’s not only that she’s good in bed. She gives me new life force and courage. She is my friend, my only confidant,” he said. But Mr De Luca’s son Daniele has taken control of his two houses and bank accounts after judges ruled that his sex addiction made him unfit to govern his own affairs.”

First corkage, now “cakeage”: “A reputable chef has come out swinging in defence of Gold Coast restaurants charging ‘cakeage’ — a surcharge for serving slices of cakes brought in by patrons. Former Cloak and Dagger owner Thomas McConnell said eateries had to consider hygiene when people brought cakes in. Some Gold Coast restaurants are slugging diners up to $3.50 per person for cakes to be served. Mr McConnell said a chef’s name was on the line if patrons ended up with food poisoning. “If someone does get food poisoning, your name’s on the line because people will tell others ‘we were at such-and-such a restaurant and we got sick’.” Mr McConnell said someone had to wash the dishes and cutlery, so it was fair to charge a fee equivalent to the price of a dessert.”

JetBlue pilot pulled off flight wanted to end life in ‘spectacular fashion’: “A pilot pulled from a flight at Boston’s Logan airport an hour before takeoff planned to end his life in “spectacular fashion”. The girlfriend, a flight attendant, contacted authorities and the pilot was pulled from a crew lounge about an hour before the 2:30pm ET flight. At that time, he surrendered a gun he was carrying legally, suggesting he was a member of the Federal Flight Deck Officer program. JetBlue said in a statement the pilot was removed from duty for health reasons and no one else was in danger of being harmed. “He never threatened crashing the aircraft,” Mr Naccara said. [He would say that]

Walking skeletons entering Miss Universe contest: “Victoria’s most gorgeous girls will be at their dazzling best in a bid to be Australia’s new beauty queen. Victorian Miss Universe state finalists Holly-Anne Visser and Anelise Magill, partner of Carlton player Brad Fisher, have tried on their evening wear outfits for size ahead of judging at the Park Hyatt Hotel on Wednesday. Anelise will wear a regal Mariana Hardwick gown, while Holly steps out in a black lace Mathieu Salem. The state winners will go through to the national final in Sydney in July, for the opportunity to represent Australia at the Miss Universe pageant in Las Vegas in August.”

France: Thief makes off with $100 million in art: “A broken alarm system. A sawed-off padlock. A security video of a masked figure dressed in black slipping through a broken window. And empty picture frames leaning against a short stone wall facing the Seine. As dawn broke Thursday, authorities in the French capital had egg on their faces and a high-profile mystery on their hands: How did a thief slip into Paris’ Art Deco-style Museum of Modern Art, across from the Eiffel Tower, avoid the three guards on duty and slip out with five paintings worth at least $100 million, among them works by Picasso and Matisse?”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

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